Your's, eventually

awkward aftermath

Gabriella woke up on Monday morning with one objective.

Forget Ethan.Forget everything about what had happened, Forget the kiss completely

Not temporarily.

Not for a few hours.

Completely.

She wanted to erase Saturday afternoon from her memory, bury it somewhere deep inside her brain, and ensure that it never resurfaced again.

Unfortunately, her brain appeared to have other plans.

The moment she opened her eyes, she remembered.

His house.

The mathematics assignment.

His ridiculous questions about kissing.

And then—

She pulled her pillow over her face.

"No."

The word came out muffled.

She lifted her head.

"No, no, no."

She threw the pillow across the bed.

"Absolutely not!"

A knock sounded at her bedroom door.

"Gabriella?" came xander's voice from the other side. "Are you all right?"

She froze.

Of course someone had heard her.

Excellent. Perhaps she could explain that she was fighting a war against her own memories. That would undoubtedly make her sound perfectly sane.

"I'm fine!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

A pause.

"Because you're shouting at yourself."

"I'm practising!"

"Practising what?"

Gabriella looked around desperately.

"Mathematics!"

There was a long silence.

Then xander said, "It's Monday morning."

"I know, thanks a lot!"

Another pause.

"Right. I'll leave you to it."

She heard his footsteps retreat down the hallway.

Gabriella slowly sank back onto her bed.

Wonderful.

She had been awake for less than ten minutes and had already managed to embarrass herself.

She reached for her phone.

No new messages from Ethan.

Good.

Excellent.

Perfect.

She didn't care.

Why would she care?

He was her friend. Her tutoring partner. The boy who had apparently decided that an ordinary mathematics lesson was an appropriate opportunity to completely destroy her peace of mind.

That was all.

And she was going to treat him accordingly.

She sat up and pointed a finger at her reflection in the mirror.

"Today, you will behave normally."

Her reflection stared back.

"You will not think about Saturday."

She picked up her hairbrush.

"You will not remember anything."

She brushed her hair.

"You will not look at Ethan."

She paused.

Then frowned.

That last rule might prove difficult, considering Ethan attended the same school.

She sighed.

Fine.

She would look at him.

But only when absolutely necessary.

And she certainly wouldn't speak to him unless the situation demanded it.

There.

Problem solved.

She got dressed, packed her books, and went downstairs.

Her plan was already falling apart.

Because the first person she thought about when she reached the breakfast table was Ethan.

And she hadn't even left the house.

By the time Gabriella arrived at school, she had revised her plan.

Avoiding Ethan entirely would attract attention.

She didn't want attention.

Attention led to questions.

Questions led to explanations.

And explanations would eventually lead to Saturday afternoon.

No, the sensible approach was to act as though nothing had happened.

She would greet Ethan normally.

She would talk to him normally.

She would laugh at his jokes if they were funny.

And if he mentioned the kiss, she would calmly inform him that she had absolutely no intention of discussing it.

Easy.

She entered the school building.

Her eyes immediately found him.

Ethan was standing near the lockers with two classmates, listening to something one of them was saying.

He looked completely normal.

Infuriatingly normal.

He was wearing his usual expression of mild disinterest, as though the world had disappointed him personally and he was considering filing a complaint.

Gabriella slowed down.

Her heart did something strange.

She ignored it.

She continued walking.

Ethan turned his head.

Their eyes met.

For a moment, neither moved.

Then he gave her a small nod.

"Morning, Gabriella."

Her brain abandoned her.

"Goodbye!"

She walked straight past him.

Silence followed.

She made it approximately five steps before she realized what she had said.

She stopped.

Closed her eyes.

And considered whether transferring schools was a realistic option.

Behind her, someone snorted.

She turned.

Ethan was watching her with an expression that suggested he was making a heroic effort not to laugh.

"She seems to be acting strange," he observed.

Gabriella wanted the floor to open beneath her.

"I meant good morning."

"Of course."

"I know what I said."

"I never suggested otherwise."

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're enjoying this!"

"I assure you, I'm suffering tremendously."

She glared at him.

His mouth twitched.

She turned and marched towards her classroom.

This time, she did not look back.

She could hear him laughing quietly behind her.

She hated him.

She absolutely hated him.

And the worst part was that she had no complete control over herself. The bell rung and it was already lunchtime, Gabriella sat at the library and attempted to concentrate on a conversation about an upcoming assignment.

She really did try.

Unfortunately, Ethan had chosen a table across the courtyard, and her eyes kept wandering in his direction.

Not because she wanted to look at him.

She was simply checking whether he was looking at her.

There was a difference.

A very important difference.

"Gabriella?"

She blinked.

Her friend waved a hand in front of her face.

"Are you listening?"

"Of course."

"What did I just say?"

Gabriella opened her mouth.

Nothing happened.

Her friend sighed.

"That's what I thought."

"Sorry. I was thinking."

"About what?"

"School."

Her friend glanced at the perfectly ordinary school building behind them.

"That's a first."

Gabriella frowned.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

Across the courtyard, Ethan laughed at something one of his classmates said.

Gabriella immediately looked down at her food.

She was not interested in his laugh.

She was not interested in his face.

And she certainly wasn't interested in the fact that she could recognize his laugh from across a crowded courtyard.

That was simply a useless talent.

Like being able to identify a song after hearing two notes.

Or remembering the exact location of every mathematics textbook in the library.

Completely useless.

Her phone vibrated.

She picked it up.

Ethan: Are you planning to pretend you don't know me all day?

Gabriella stared at the screen.

Then she typed:

Gabriella: I'm not pretending anything.

His reply arrived almost immediately.

Ethan: Excellent. Then I assume your farewell greeting this morning was sincere.

She pressed her lips together.

Gabriella: It was a mistake.

Ethan: Your entire performance was remarkably convincing.

Gabriella: Ethan.

Ethan: Gabriella.

She glared at the phone.

Gabriella: Can you please behave normally?

This time, the reply took longer.

When it arrived, it was only one sentence.

Ethan: I'm trying.

Gabriella stopped smiling.

She read the message again.

There was no joke.

No clever remark.

Nothing she could argue with.

Just three words.

I'm trying.

She looked across the courtyard.

Ethan was no longer watching her.

He was talking to his classmates, his expression unreadable.

For the first time that morning, Gabriella felt something other than embarrassment.

Guilt.

She had been so busy trying to make herself comfortable that she hadn't considered how uncomfortable he might feel.

She knew he had apologized.

She knew he hadn't demanded anything from her.

And yet she had spent the entire morning treating him as though he had become a complete stranger.

She put her phone down.

Perhaps she needed to stop running away.

Perhaps she needed to speak to him.

Perhaps—

"Gabriella!"

She nearly jumped out of her chair.

Xander was standing beside the table.

And just like that, every sensible thought disappeared.

The Boy She Thought She Wanted

"Xander!"

She said his name too quickly.

Then, because apparently her ability to behave normally had vanished completely, she knocked her water bottle over.

Water spilled across the table.

"Oh my goodness!"

She grabbed a handful of tissues.

Xander laughed softly and helped her clean up.

"Relax. It's only water."

"I know. Obviously. I just—"

She stopped talking.

He smiled.

"It's good to see you, Ella."

Ella.

He had called her Ella.

The familiar warmth spread through her chest.

For months, she had imagined moments like this.

Xander approaching her without being asked.

Xander smiling at her.

Xander choosing to spend time with her.

And now it was happening.

So why was she thinking about Ethan?

She forced herself to concentrate.

"How have you been?" Xander asked.

"Fine! Very fine. Excellent, actually."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Excellent?"

"Yes."

"That's good."

He pulled out the chair beside her.

"Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to spend some time together after school."

Gabriella stopped breathing for approximately one second.

Together?

As in, just the two of them?

She looked at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah. We haven't talked much lately."

Her heart began racing.

This was it.

This was the sort of opportunity she had wanted for so long.

She should say yes immediately.

She should smile.

She should make it clear that she was delighted.

Instead, she heard herself ask, "What about Marielle?"

Xander blinked.

"What about her?"

"Nothing. I just thought—"

"She's busy today."

"Oh."

He smiled again.

"So, what do you say?"

Gabriella hesitated.

Not because she didn't want to spend time with Xander.

Of course she did.

She had wanted this for ages.

But somewhere in the back of her mind, another thought had appeared.

What if Ethan asks to talk to you after school?

She immediately pushed it away.

Why would Ethan ask to talk to her?

And why would that matter?

Xander was sitting right in front of her, asking her to spend time with him.

This was everything she had wanted.

"Yes," she answered quickly. "I'd love to."

"Great."

He stood.

"I'll meet you by the school gate."

"Okay!"

He smiled and walked away.

Gabriella watched him go.

Her friends stared at her.

Then one of them slowly lowered her sandwich.

"Did Xander just ask you out?"

"No!"

The answer came too quickly.

"He asked if I wanted to spend time with him."

Her friend raised an eyebrow.

"Alone?"

Gabriella looked down.

"Apparently."

"And you said yes?"

"Obviously!"

"Then why do you look worried?"

Gabriella opened her mouth.

Closed it.

Then picked up her water bottle.

"I'm not worried."

Her friend glanced towards the other side of the courtyard.

"Is this about Ethan?"

Gabriella nearly swallowed her tongue.

"WHAT?"

Several students turned to look.

She lowered her voice.

"Why would this be about Ethan?"

"I didn't say it was."

"You just said his name!"

"Yes, because you reacted like I'd announced that the school was being demolished."

Gabriella stared at her.

Her friend took another bite of her sandwich.

"Interesting."

"Don't."

"I haven't said anything."

"You're thinking something."

"Apparently, I'm not allowed to do that anymore."

Gabriella buried her face in her hands.

This was becoming a terrible day.

An Unwanted Conversation

After lunch, Gabriella was determined to find Ethan.

Not because she wanted to see him.

Because she needed to clear the air.

That was all.

She found him in the corridor outside the library, putting a book into his bag.

"Ethan?"

He turned.

"Gabriella."

She folded her arms.

"Can we talk?"

"Certainly."

He waited.

She looked at the floor.

Then at the wall.

Then at a poster advertising the school's upcoming science competition.

Anywhere except his face.

Ethan noticed.

Naturally.

"Would you prefer to have this conversation with the poster?"

She glared at him.

"Can you be serious for five minutes?"

"I can try. No promises about the quality."

She sighed.

"I'm sorry."

His expression changed.

"For what?"

"For avoiding you this morning."

He leaned against the lockers.

"Ah."

"And for acting strangely."

"That part was difficult to miss."

"Ethan!"

"Sorry."

He straightened.

"Go on."

Gabriella took a breath.

"I just don't know how to act around you right now."

He was quiet for a moment.

Then he nodded.

"Neither do I."

She looked up.

"You don't?"

"No, Gabriella. I haven't spent the last two days developing a comprehensive strategy for navigating this situation."

Despite herself, she almost smiled.

He noticed, but this time he didn't tease her.

"I meant what I said in my message," he continued. "I'm sorry I kissed you without asking. I shouldn't have done that."

Gabriella's smile faded.

"I know."

"And I'm not expecting you to suddenly feel differently about me."

She looked at him.

"Did you think I might?"

Ethan was silent.

For a moment, she thought he wouldn't answer.

Then he said, "I hoped you might. But that's my problem, not yours."

The words settled between them.

Gabriella didn't know what to say.

She had expected him to make a joke.

She had expected him to pretend the kiss hadn't mattered.

Instead, he was standing in front of her, admitting something that made her chest feel strangely tight.

"You hoped I might what?" she asked quietly.

Ethan looked at her.

"Feel the same way."

She forgot how to breathe for a moment.

Then she remembered Xander.

The invitation.

The plan to meet after school.

The months she had spent trying to make Xander notice her.

Everything suddenly felt complicated.

"I don't know what I feel," she admitted.

Ethan nodded.

"Then don't force yourself to decide."

She stared at him.

"You're not going to make fun of me?"

"I could. But I suspect that would be counterproductive."

"Ethan."

He sighed.

"No. I'm not going to make fun of you for being confused."

She looked down at her hands.

For some reason, that made her feel worse.

He was being kind.

He was being patient.

He was making it incredibly difficult for her to dismiss him as the irritating boy who had complicated her life.

"Are we still friends?" she asked.

Ethan's expression softened.

"If that's what you want."

"Of course it is."

"Then we're still friends."

She nodded.

"Good."

"Good."

Neither moved.

Then Ethan glanced at the clock.

"Unfortunately, our touching reunion must end. I have a class."

Gabriella rolled her eyes.

"There he is."

"Who?"

"The annoying person I know."

"Ah. I was worried I'd lost my reputation."

She smiled.

And this time, it wasn't forced.

Ethan smiled back.

For one brief moment, everything felt almost normal.

Then he picked up his bag.

"I'll see you later, Gabriella."

She watched him walk away.

Her heart felt strangely heavy.

And for the first time, she wondered whether pretending nothing had changed was actually making everything worse.

The Invitation

The final lesson of the day seemed to last approximately seven years.

Gabriella spent most of it staring at the clock and trying to decide what she was supposed to do with her feelings.

She had a date.

Well, not a date.

Xander had asked her to spend time with him.

That was different.

Possibly.

She was still debating the distinction when the final bell rang.

She packed her books and headed towards the school gate.

Xander was already waiting.

He smiled when he saw her.

"Ready?"

She nodded.

"Of course."

They began walking towards a small café a short distance from the school.

Xander talked about his weekend, his plans for the upcoming school event, and something funny that had happened in class.

Gabriella listened.

She laughed when appropriate.

She asked questions.

She tried very hard to be the girl she had always imagined she would be when Xander finally wanted to spend time with her.

And she was happy.

She really was.

But halfway through his story, she caught herself wondering what Ethan was doing.

She immediately felt guilty.

Xander was right there.

He was giving her the attention she had wanted for so long.

And she was thinking about another boy.

What was wrong with her?

"Gabriella?"

She looked up.

"Sorry. What?"

Xander smiled.

"I asked if you wanted something to drink."

"Oh! Yes. Anything is fine."

He studied her for a moment.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"Absolutely."

"You seem distracted."

"I'm just tired."

He nodded.

"Well, we don't have to stay long."

"No! I mean, I'm fine. We can stay."

He laughed.

"Okay, okay."

She smiled back.

But the guilt remained.

Because she was beginning to realize something she didn't want to admit.

Getting Xander's attention had always been the goal.

She had convinced herself that if he finally chose her, everything would fall into place.

But now that she was sitting across from him, she couldn't stop thinking about the boy who had helped her with mathematics, made her laugh when she wanted to cry, and apologized when he had hurt her.

Ethan had never been part of her plan.

That was precisely the problem.

A Message She Shouldn't Have Waited For

Later that evening, Gabriella sat at her desk with her homework spread across the table.

Her phone lay beside her notebook.

She had checked it six times in twenty minutes.

Not because she was waiting for a message.

She was simply checking the time.

Repeatedly.

For absolutely no reason.

She picked up her pencil.

Read the first question.

Put the pencil down.

Picked up her phone.

No new messages.

She frowned.

Why would she be expecting a message?

Ethan had already spoken to her at school.

They had agreed that they were still friends.

There was nothing else to discuss.

She put the phone down.

Five seconds passed.

She picked it up again.

"This is pathetic," she whispered.

She opened their conversation.

Their last exchange was from Saturday.

His apology.

Her short response.

She hadn't replied to his final message.

Perhaps she should.

Not because she wanted to talk to him.

Because ignoring someone who had apologized was rude.

Yes.

That was an excellent reason.

She typed:

Gabriella: Hey.

She stared at the message.

Then deleted it.

Too casual.

She typed again.

Gabriella: Thanks for helping me with mathematics on Saturday.

She read it.

It sounded like a formal letter from a student thanking a school principal for providing electricity.

She deleted it.

Finally, she put her phone down and returned to her homework.

Two minutes later, it buzzed.

Her heart jumped.

She grabbed it so quickly that her pencil rolled off the table.

It was Ethan.

Ethan: Have you finished question eight?

Gabriella stared at the screen.

That was it?

That was the message?

She didn't know whether to laugh or throw her phone across the room.

She typed a reply.

Gabriella: Yes.

Ethan: Correctly?

Gabriella: Obviously.

Ethan: I see confidence has replaced mathematical accuracy.

She smiled.

Gabriella: I hate you.

Ethan: You've mentioned that.

She was still smiling when another message appeared.

Ethan: Goodnight, Gabriella.

She paused.

Then typed:

Gabriella: Goodnight, Ethan.

She put her phone down.

This time, she didn't pick it up again.

Instead, she opened her notebook and forced herself to finish the assignment.

But just before she switched off her bedroom light, she thought about Saturday afternoon.

About the kiss.

About the awkward conversation in the corridor.

About the way Ethan had looked at her when he told her he hoped she might feel the same way.

She rolled onto her side.

"This changes nothing," she whispered.

The room remained silent.

She closed her eyes.

And, despite everything she had told herself, she smiled.

The Question

Tuesday morning arrived far too quickly.

Gabriella had barely made it through breakfast before she began wondering whether she would see Ethan first or Xander.

She hated that this had become a question.

She hated that she cared.

And she hated, most of all, that she had no idea what the answer meant.

At school, she found Ethan near the library.

He was alone, reading something on his phone.

She approached him.

"Morning."

He looked up.

"Good morning."

She stood beside him.

For a few seconds, neither spoke.

Then Ethan slipped his phone into his pocket.

"So," he said, "how was your afternoon with Xander?"

Gabriella blinked.

"How did you know about that?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Gabriella, half the school saw you leave together."

"Oh."

"Besides, he mentioned it to someone in my class."

"Oh."

Ethan studied her.

"Was it nice?"

She nodded.

"Yes. It was."

"Good."

There was no sarcasm in his voice.

No bitterness.

Just a quiet acceptance that made Gabriella feel worse than if he had been angry.

She looked down.

"Ethan?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You're certainly developing a habit of that."

She gave him a warning look.

He smiled faintly.

"Go ahead."

She hesitated.

Then asked the question that had been bothering her since Saturday.

"If you could change what happened at your house, would you?"

Ethan went still.

For the first time since she had met him, Gabriella couldn't read his expression.

He looked at her for a long moment.

Then he answered.

"I'd change the part where I kissed you without asking."

Her chest tightened.

He continued.

"But I wouldn't change how I feel about you."

Gabriella stared at him.

The bell rang somewhere down the corridor.

Students began moving towards their classrooms.

Neither of them moved.

She wanted to say something.

Anything.

But every answer she could think of seemed either too honest or not honest enough.

Finally, she whispered, "I don't know what to do with that."

Ethan nodded slowly.

"You don't have to do anything with it right now."

He picked up his bag.

"Come on. We're going to be late."

He started towards the classroom.

Gabriella remained where she was for a moment, watching him go.

Then she hurried after him.

Because she still didn't know what she wanted.

She still liked Xander.

She still didn't understand why Ethan had become so important to her.

And she still had no idea what that kiss meant.

But one thing was certain.

She could no longer pretend that nothing had changed.

And somewhere deep inside, she suspected that the real trouble had only just begun.