Unexpected (MxM)

Chapter Four- Trouble in Paradise

Chapter Four-

Moth

“Your music is pretty good. Sorry, you won’t be able to play many of your songs.”

“Any of my songs. We’re only allowed to do two originals and the band decided to do one that Gwen wrote and one that Caspian wrote. I mean they’re good songs but I think we’re playing it safe by doing the songs that are popular instead of new ones that haven’t been released. That also means that for one of the songs, Gwen will sing lead and I won’t get to sing at all.”

“You and this Gwen girl don’t get along?”

“We have some different opinions, but we’re still good friends. When we do agree it’s like sparks are flying. When we get together to write songs it’s always amazing, but most of the time we butt heads too much to get to that point.”

I feel a little weird talking to Andrew so much especially when he didn’t even invite me to show up. I don’t come over to bother them. I just don’t want to be around my mom all the time. Fizzle isn’t even here. He’s off with his friends, but he cooked us dinner before he left.

He’s like Andrew’s housewife. He doesn’t have a job, and when I asked him why, he told me he wasn’t allowed to. I guess Andrew has some pretty strict rules for him, but he looks so happy even when Andrew talks to him with a condescending tone and cops a feel of his ass every time he walks by.

Andrew eats more of the dinner my brother made for us before speaking again. “So how’s your hot boyfriend?”

“You know it’s creepy to call a fifteen-year-old hot.”

“It’s creepier when you’re f*****g him in the room next to ours.”

“Shut up. You think I don’t hear you guys? I’m not judging or anything but you’re f*****g weird.” I sigh and eat a bit more before confessing what’s been on my mind. “And I have maybe two mistakes left before Sawyer makes him dump me. Every time I come over he looks at me like I’m the devil incarnate. Frankie is awesome though. He’s so sweet and he’s the best listener. He never thinks I’m weird or evil. He can see farther than my appearance and he likes what’s underneath.”

“Don’t let him get to you. Sawyer’s always been like that. He’s got such a stick up his ass, but it’s kinda cute. He always swore he’d never sleep with me because he hates my personality and he’s too good for some asshole like me, but the second he got horny he was all over me. He clung to me so tight I was practically wearing him.” Andrew smirks, making me raise a brow.

He talks about other guys a lot. I’m pretty sure that club they go to is a s*x club which is honestly pretty gross. The last thing I want to think about is my brother having an orgy with my boyfriend’s siblings.

“Aren’t you in a relationship?”

He sits up straighter and clears his throat. “Yeah. I mean Sawyer is great in bed, but uh… Fizzle is much better. He cooks and cleans and that sweet little face he makes when I compliment him makes me want to bend-”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Oh come on,” he groans, rolling his eyes at me. “You think I don’t know what sixteen-year-olds do? You’re no better than me.”

“You were mad he gave me a key because he couldn’t walk around without clothes on anymore. I’m better than you. You sleep with Fiz because you want to f**k someone. I sleep with Frankie because I love him.”

I freeze when I say it, watching Andrew’s eyes widen. “You love him?”

I push my plate away and stand up. “I’m just gonna go.”

“No. Sit.” He tells me. He doesn’t have his usually playful look. He actually looks kind of scary. I sit back down and look down at my lap.

I purse my lips before sighing softly and using my tongue to fiddle with my lip piercings. “I don’t know why I said that. I don’t know if I even feel that way.”

Andrew leans forward, putting his elbows on the table and meeting my eyes. “When you feel love for someone, sometimes it just comes out. You should tell him.”

“It’s awkward.” I roll my eyes and sit back while crossing my arms over my chest. “If I tell him I love him, he might say it back. What if he feels pressured and that’s why he says it back? Or what if he says it and I realize I don’t mean it? I’ve been with some guys before, but I’ve never felt this much for them. Does that mean it’s love or is it just because he’s the only one I’ve dated for more than a week?”

“What do you like about him? Is it just stupid things like he’s attractive and smart, or do you notice the little things that shape his personality?” Andrew asks with a smile.

He doesn’t usually give me much advice. He just teases me sometimes and complains about how my being here reminds him that he doesn’t want kids because he never wants to change the lifestyle he and Fizzle have.

Sometimes I feel like an intruder. Before last year, Fizzle and I hadn’t spoken to each other in years. He moved out as soon as he turned eighteen. It wasn’t a shocker. He’d been dying to grow up since he was a kid. He rushed it so much that even when he was barely a teen, he was trying to act like an adult. I was there being exposed to a lot of things I never asked for.

My dad’s a drunk, my brother’s a w***e, and my mom’s a depressed pothead. I wasn’t trying to grow up fast. I just realized at a young age that the only way I’d be taken care of was if I took care of myself.

Now Fizzle feels bad. He knows that he wasn’t there when I needed him. He knows how alone I was when he left and he’s trying to make up for it by making me a part of his life now. The only issue is his life was already perfectly the way everyone liked it, so me being here is more of a nuisance than a gift. Especially since he lives with his boyfriend and they don’t have the most kid-friendly life together.

I think it’s nice that Andrew is being more open and accepting of me now, but part of me can’t help but feel like it’s forced.

“I notice the little things. He mumbles the dialogue when he gets really into a book. He picks at his eyebrows when he’s thinking hard. Sometimes when he has me ask him practice questions for decathlon I’m scared they’ll be gone by the time he gets the right answer. I think it’s adorable that he loves learning. He goes to summer school every year just to get ahead. He talks about his siblings like I wished Fizzle would’ve talked about me. I remember the look he gave me when he saw that I hung the picture Julian drew of me on my wall. It’s like he’s never met someone who likes his little brother before. I like the way he feels in my arms. I like how sweet and innocent he looks. Not because I want to ruin it, but because everyone else looks at me like a monster and he isn’t scared at all.”

Andrew smiles softly at the last part and nods. “Yeah, I understand that. No matter what I do your brother always looks at me like I could never scare him. I think his trust in me is why I love him so much.”

“Yeah. I think I do love Frankie, but what if he doesn’t love me back?”

“You’ll have to make him. Show him the parts of you that people don’t usually see. Let yourself be vulnerable so that he knows who you are. I know I give you a lot of s**t because I never wanted a child in my house, but I think you’re a great kid.”

“Thank you.” I stand up now and try to grab my plate, but Andrew stops me.

“Just leave it. Fizzle will clean them when he gets home.”

“I just figured I could help.”

“He’s in trouble, so I want it to be as inconvenient as possible for him to do his chores. That’s sweet though.”

I ignore the comment about Fizzle being ‘in trouble’ and leave my plate on the table, walking to the guest room that they let me stay in.

It’s pretty boring here. I didn’t bother asking if I could decorate because I didn’t expect to be here as often as I am. I still don’t want to ask. It’s not their responsibility to provide me with this stuff. Fizzle keeps giving me clothes and money, and he lets me stay here whenever I want. I’m still giving him the cold shoulder too, but he doesn’t even seem to care.

I hear the front door open and soft mumbles and laughter from downstairs. Fizzle must be back. They walk up the steps together, and I can hear them more clearly on the other side of the door.

“Wait. I want to tell him Goodnight.”

“Why would you do that when you’ll be too busy to sleep anyway.”

“Be quiet. You know he can hear you.”

“It’s not like he’s dumb, Soda Pop. You’re so loud I’d be surprised if he didn’t hear you screaming.”

“You’re so embarrassing,” he whines. I hear one pair of steps walking farther down the hall. “And I’m not that loud!”

After a moment, Fizzle knocks gingerly on the door before slowly opening it to come in. “Moth? Are you still awake?”

I turn over in bed and look up at him without answering. He walks closer and reaches his hand down to stroke my hair with a soft smile. He leans down, aiming to kiss my forehead, but I jerk away from him and glare. “Don’t touch me.”

Fizzle purses his lips before forcing a smile nod pulling his hand away. “I just wanted to say Goodnight. You can stay here as long as you want.”

“I’ll be gone tomorrow.”

“Moth, I’m serious. Whatever you need, ask me.”

“Can you just go?” I tell him, forcing myself to believe that’s what I want.

I can’t help the little part of me that wants to let him in. I still remember how much I looked up to him. I wanted to hang out with him all the time and he always rejected me. Maybe it’s his turn to feel like garbage. I’m tired of being the one scavenging for scraps of attention from the people who are supposed to love me.

“Yeah. Sorry.” He mumbles, turning to walk back to the door. “I love you.”

I say nothing even though I know I love him just as much. He leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

I flip onto my back and sigh, staring up at the ceiling for a moment before hearing my phone ring. That’s Frankie’s tone.

I grab my bag and shuffle through for a minute, hearing the ringer run out before starting up again a minute later. It always takes two calls for me to find my phone. I hardly ever use it except to talk to the band, manage our social media accounts, and tune my guitars.

Cell phones are a waste of money and time. Technology was originally invented to make the lives of average people more convenient from day to day, but the society in the world we live in has made it into a multi-billion dollar scam. The top 1% get to make more and more money off of the crap they make because, like all things humans make, we became dependent on it.

Cars were made to conveniently get to farther places, and now you can’t get through everyday life without them. It’s the same thing with cell phones, computers, electricity, plumbing, credit cards, television, calculators, and everything else.

Old people want to point fingers at gen-z and millennials like rich people weren’t flaunting their tight corsets and horse-drawn carriages back before Henry IIX was the king of England.

“Hey, Barbie.”

“Hey, Ken.” He answers, laughing softly. “I miss you. Sorry, I couldn’t come to your practice today. Sawyer wanted to hang out.”

“He wanted to hang out, or he just wanted to keep you away from me?”

He goes silent for a moment before switching the topic without responding. “The student council voted on my pitch today.”

“How did it go?”

“Great. There are no school dances between Homecoming and Prom, and only one of those lets freshman and sophomores come, so I suggested a yearly decade dance, and they’re planning it for next month right before Thanksgiving break.” He tells me. He sounds so excited and I know what face he’s making. He always does this goofy smile when he gets excited.

“That’s good. I’m glad they heard you out. I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun.”

“Right. Well, one of the guys in the student council asked if I had a date and I told him I was hoping my super awesome boyfriend would dress up and come with me.” He tells me, though it sounds more like a question.

I sigh. “Frankie… you know I don’t like school dances. Decade dances are even worse because they glorify a period before we started striving for equality and acceptance.”

“I think it will be really fun. It’s 80’s theme which was the first time in media that companies started marketing toward teens. The romantic comedies were amazing in that decade not to mention the fashion.”

“Yeah and John Lennon died and Chernobyl happened.”

“Well the royal wedding happened in the 80’s and they made BET. Two wars ended.”

“Reagan was elected President and while everyone was off watching romantic movies and stupid sitcoms, tons of gay people were dying from aids and nobody did anything about it. Not to mention the failure of trickle-down economics that caused the worst recession America had since the Great Depression. By the end of the 80’s, inflation doubled the cost of everything. The 80’s kinda sucked.”

“You kinda suck. It’s just a dance. You don’t want to come with me?” He huffs through the phone and responds again before I can say no again. “Fine, whatever. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“Frankie-”

I roll my eyes when the line goes dead. I flop back on the bed and roll over to close my eyes, falling asleep.