Her Jaguars

I live in hell. That is the only explanation I can come up with for why my life has turned out the way it has. I live on the streets of a big city. Not a very good thing for a cat shifter. We need trees to climb or space to run around and be free. The only plus side is that my cat is a margay; I’m so small, I can run around the city at night and most people think I’m just a big house cat. My name is Ember. I don’t know my last name, as my parents were killed when I was a baby, and the orphanage I was in didn’t know who they were. I ran away from the orphanage when I was 13. Since I was five, I have always been bullied; for my tiny size, for not wanting to play with the other children, for being smarter than the others. The last night I spent in the orphanage, I was beaten so bad I didn’t think I would survive. My only saving grace was my shifter healing. So, I have been living on the streets for the last five years. I mostly sleep in my cat form, especially in the winter when my fur can keep me warmer than anything I try to find. I did find an empty warehouse two years back and started living in it. It’s a lot better than living on the streets without shelter, although in my cat form I do get more food than when I try to find some as a human. Hygiene was hard to come by too. Lucky for me, I knew this old cat lady who would give my cat form baths whenever I showed up on her fire escape. I don’t want to live like this for much longer, my margay, Lola said. Me neither. I miss warm showers. One day I saw this van drive by. On the side of it read ‘Homeless for Hire: We’ll Help You Find A Job.’ That’s a great idea! I thought to myself. Since I don’t have any experience trying to find a job, I can get help from them. I followed the van in human form as best I could on the, thankfully, not too busy sidewalks. They stopped by a shelter that I recognised. I remember finding the shelter not too long ago. I remember hearing that the homeless could go in there and get food for free. I haven’t wanted to try and go in since I don’t like being around so many humans and smells. I walk up to the van, trying to get a good look inside. I’m so curious that I jump straight into the air when I feel a tap on my shoulder, instantly on alert, startled and scared. I turn around and see an extremely tall man, but most men look extremely tall to me. Guessing he had to be at least a foot taller than me, he had the most beautiful emerald green eyes set against a lightly tanned and slightly round face, with a head full of wavy black hair and what looked like silver streaks in it. I wouldn’t say he’s not handsome, but he did have a fluffiness about him. “Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to startle you. I tried to get your attention, but you didn’t hear me,” he said, using all kinds of hand gestures and making me giggle. Not having used my voice in a while, I cleared my throat, “You’re fine. I was just curious what was in the van. I saw you drive by a few blocks back, and wanted to see if maybe you could help me.” He looked me up and down, as if he could see through me. I see his nostrils flare and I feel my eyes widen as I watch his do the same. I inhale, trying to figure out why he looks shocked. Then I smell it; he smells of wolf. “Are you a shifter?” both of us ask at the same time. We stare at each other for another minute, then start laughing. I don’t know what to think about this whole situation. I feel this urge to run away, but I’m also very curious since I have never really met another shifter before. “Calm down, don’t freak out,” the man said to me, probably thinking I might; newsflash, I don't freak that easily. Not outwardly anyway. “I’m not gonna hurt you. My name is Sawyer and I’m a silver fox shifter. What is your name?” “My name is Ember. I actually came here because of the van. I’ve been homeless for the last five years and I was hoping you could help me find a job, maybe an actual place to live.” “Oh my gosh, yes! I can totally help you out with that. What are you looking to do, if you have an idea, anyway?” Sawyer said, looking excited. I thought about it for a moment. “Something I have always wanted to do is travel. See if there’s anywhere or anything better than here. I have had a lot of bad memories living in this city, it would be nice to have some new memories,” I told him, smiling shyly. He looked me up and down, then motioned for me to follow him. We entered into a storefront that had ‘Homeless For Hire’ on top of the door. The inside was an open floor plan, with turquoise walls that had different kinds of posters on them with motivational quotes. We walked to the back where there was a small office. It too was painted in a blue color, more ocean blue than the turquoise color in the outer room. “First question, and I’m only asking this because you look so young and you said you’ve been on the streets for five years. Did you graduate high school?” Sawyer asked me, what looked like a patient smile on his face. I pursed my lips, not wanting to tell him the truth, but feeling like I needed to if I wanted a job. “No, I didn't graduate. I ran away from the orphanage I was at when I was 13, but before I ran away, I was really book smart. I absorbed information easily and had really good grades.” “Ok, you just answered my second question. My next question is, how did you end up in the orphanage? Also, why did you run away?” he asked me next. I felt like these questions were more for his personal curiosity than professional, but I felt comfortable and safe near him, even though he was a wolf, so I answered them. “My parents were killed when I was a baby, though I am not sure how, where, or who because the orphanage didn’t know. I ran away from the orphanage because all the kids there bullied me. I’m small, smart, and didn’t want to play a lot, so they didn’t like me.” He put his hands together and pressed them into his mouth. It was several minutes before he answered me. I’m not sure if it was because he was trying to think of a way to be nice about what he was going to say next, or if he was trying to figure out what to ask after the information I gave him. “What type of cat are you? I know by your smell that you’re a cat, but I can’t figure out exactly what kind you are,” he said after a while. “That will help me figure out what kind of travel position to put you in.” “I am a margay. Normal margays are solitary and independent, but I’m not sure about other shifters who are margays. I’ve never met another one like me. I personally like the solitary life I’ve had the last five years. Other than the old cat lady who has only seen me in my cat form, humans haven’t really shown me any other side of them besides mean.” “Well, I am a red fox. I’m originally from Kodiak, Alaska, but moved here to New York when I was 18. I decided I wanted to live somewhere different, not exactly like seeing the world, just more than what I saw in Kodiak, which isn’t much,” he laughed. “I kind of understand what you mean. When I first got to this city, it seemed like the people were rude and selfish. Don’t get me wrong, there will always be those kinds of people in the world, whether they be human or shifter. But I will say that I have met some pretty interesting and nice people in the 10 years I’ve been here. You just have to look for them. Maybe I could introduce you to some of them.” I think about it for a moment, then nod my head. “I would very much like that, if they are half as nice as you. It might help me be around more people in my human form. Although Lola, my margay, doesn’t like being around humans, she knows that they are less likely to hurt us when they see her looking for food as opposed to me,” I laugh, trying to make what I said more light. “Ok, back to business,” he says, chuckling. “First, you'll need to get your GED. Since you didn’t graduate from high school, your GED will be the equivalent of that and will allow you to find something that you can do. After that, you can either go to college to further your education or go straight into a work field. Since you are such a solitary shifter, not only as your cat but in your personality, I would probably recommend you do something like photography. You could do nature photographs or travel photographs. You wouldn’t have to interact with a lot of people, maybe just the person you sell them to if you’re independent or to a few different people if you worked for a company. We can come back to that after you finish your GED though.” He paused, looking at me to see what I thought. What do you think Lola? Should I do it? I asked my cat, wanting her opinion. I think photography would be good. We would get to travel, and it sounds like fun. I smiled at Sawyer, “That sounds like fun. Is there anything I would need to do in order to be a photographer?” “We’ll get to that when you get closer to finishing your GED. The other thing I wanted to talk to you about was your living situation. Are you living in a shelter, or are you actually living on the streets?” “I was living on the streets. When I was, I mostly stayed in my cat form because it was warmer than trying to find somewhere warm to sleep. A couple years ago, though, I found this abandoned warehouse that I live in now on the edge of the city. I think some drug addicts and runaway teens live there too, but we mostly stay away from each other. Honestly, I mostly miss hot baths more than anything else,” I laugh, thinking how funny it is that that is the really the only reason why I miss the orphanage. He purses his lips again then leans forward in his chair. “Ok, I’m gonna come out and say what I’m thinking. If you don’t like the idea, that is totally fine, you won’t hurt my feelings… I have an extra room in my apartment that you can move into. I technically don’t need a roommate, but with you needing to study for the GED, you’ll need quiet. You’ll have a bed and a bathroom to yourself, and when you finally get a job, if you want, you can add your income to the groceries and whatnot if you don’t like living off me.” I think about it; this guy is being so nice to me, but I don’t know if I can take him up on his offer. I think we should do it Lola tells me. I feel like we can trust him. He’s kind and both of us feel safe and comfortable around him. Besides, he said if we wanted we could return his favor when we get a job. We need his help and he is willing to help us 100%. “I think I’ll take you up on your offer. I honestly wouldn’t mind being in my human form for a while. I kind of miss being in my human form for longer than a couple hours at a time,” I tell Sawyer, laughing. Sawyer beamed, “Excellent! I was actually just coming here to make sure everything was ready for tomorrow, because I’m technically not open for business yet. So, if you want, we can go do a little bit of clothes shopping so that you have something clean for when you take a shower when we get home.” Home. It is such an innocuous word, but I have never really liked using it as I’ve never really had a home. Maybe we’ll finally have a real place to call home now, Lola whispered in my head. I hope so Lola. I would love to finally feel like I belong somewhere.