Babysitting The Desired

Chapter 4 First Day Of Work

Rebecca's POV

I hear my alarm sounding as I open my eyes and look around. Everything seems dreary and dull without Jeremy here. No bright smile to wake me up in the morning, no dumb dad jokes to laugh at and cringe at the same time. No deep, husky, booming laughter to plaster a smile on my face that stays all day. He said I was the light in his life, but I have come to find out that he was the light in mine.

I let out a deep breath as I slowly sit up and turn off my alarm. Both of my kids are still in bed with me, and you can see all of the pillows we used are tear stained. My poor babies, I can only imagine how they are feeling right now. I don't even know how I'm going to take care of these two without him.

I slip off of the bed, tip-toeing across the room and get into the shower. I start to think of the last time I was in here yesterday with him and the tears start flow just as hard as the shower droplets, that they just blend in together in my despair and heart break.

I wash myself with his bodywash, just wanting to smell his scent on me. I dry off, spraying his cologne on me as well. He doesn't have many button-up shirts, so I take one of his, deciding to wear it for today. I'm going to do everything in my power to be strong today, and if this is what I have to do, then so be it.

I tuck the shirt into my dress pants and heels I just flip my hair into a messy bun and put on some nice light make up, so if I do cry today, which is a big possibility, I won't have make-up running all over my face.

I go back out to my bedroom and see the kids are up and dressed.. "Are you sure you guys want to go to school?" I ask with nervousness and even so much mother bear protectiveness for them.

"I don't know about Kitty, but I want to go to school.. and I also have a basketball game that would help me take out a bunch of my anger and stress." I reluctantly nod as my gaze pans to Katie, who says, "I just don't want to be here right now." I nod and respond, "Ok, like I said, if you can't do it, you call me, and I'll be there."

They both nod in understanding as Eddie says, "Mom, you're going to come to my game, right?" I nod at him as I slip my shoes on. "Wouldn't miss it." I softly respond, making a small smirk appear.

Of course, none of us are in the mood for food still, and I won't force them right now, but I will force dinner if I have to. We make our way to their school in my car with some reggae music lightly playing, trying to set a calming tone for today if I can.

We get to the school, and the kids hug me over the seat as they say a soft, "I love you." and I reciprocate their kind gestures.

I put Tobias' address in my maps app to get there, as I drive for a little bit since he lives on the outskirts of town in this huge, overdone property. The house looks like it's all one floor, maybe two, and pretty huge.

As I'm turning down his long driveway, my favorite song 3 little birds by Bob Marley comes on, so I start singing to myself, "Every little thing is gonna be alright.." The waves of pain hit me like a brick wall at that song alone. I start crying and singing the words as I slowly make my way down the way too long driveway.

I get to the house as I park my car, turning it off and trying to calm myself. I do some breathing techniques I learned when I was pregnant, which kinda helps right now.

I wipe the tears away, trying to make myself look as nice as possible on my first official day of work. I need to make sure I keep this job because I'm a single mom now, I need this. So I fix my makeup and take a couple more deep breathes in, then let them out, calming my broken heart only slightly.

I let out a big breath with the little bit of confidence I have right now, as I use it to open my door, then get out. I make my way to the front door, ringing the doorbell, then knocking.

"Come in." can be heard barely through the door as I slowly open and enter. I don't see anyone around as I slowly make my way in. I see something moving in my peripherals, gaining my attention, so I turn to the side to see Tobias thrusting into some girl on the couch. Of course, they are both butt naked, so I flip around quickly in embarrassment.

"What? You act like you have never seen this before. You could join if you would like." Tobias offers as I vigorously shake my head, responding, "Can you just please hurry this up? You have a virtual meeting you have to attend and then a lunch with your father." I explain to him as he grunts loudly with the girl moaning, then says, "Oh don't worry, I'm almost there." I can hear the slapping from the skin to skin contact as I hear her moaning and him groaning even more. Until he moans and everything quiets down.

"Thanks for that, now get your things and get the f*#k out." He says, hopping off the couch as he is proud parading his huge member, like a pendulum swinging back and forth as he walks by me to the kitchen. I look to the side and see the girl is leaving out the front door.

Glancing forward, I see Tobias is staring at me. "Okay, so the first thing you need to know is I need coffee to function.. black, two scoops of sugar, that's it... secondly, I'm pretty sure I have that same shirt.. interesting." He says, walking over to me and looking at it as he says spitefully. "It's the same style, just yours is the knock-off version of mine... maybe with this job you could actually afford to buy the real thing." I roll my eyes at his comment about my husband's shirt.

"Insult me and my husband's shirt all you want to make yourself feel better, because I don't need the real thing.. I'm not a materialistic person, and there is NOTHING that I want, that money can buy, to make me happy." I say even more spitefully back.

"Oh yeah? What could you possibly want that money couldn't buy you?" He asks, walking across his front room.

"None of your f*#king business." I say so spitefully, because I'm not in the mood for this s**t and my personal life is none of his business.. I'm here to fix his stupid life, not him to fix mine.

"Ooooh, someone is feeling feisty today.. ok, fine, I'll just have to find that out later." He says, putting on some clothes and walking back into the kitchen.

"Like I said, it's none of YOUR business." I state so he knows I'm serious. He puts his hands up in surrender as he says, "Alright, alright, no need to get your panties in a bunch.. I thought you were all happy to go lucky yesterday and today you're dark and dreary. What's your problem? Did you not get birthday s*x or something?"

"It was the worst birthday ever in existence." I say so vaguely to him as he looks at me with question in his eyes, and I can't help the tears building in my eyes.

"Well, don't be a crybaby about it.. s**t. If you can't handle this bantering between us right now, then you're doomed at being my assistant.. I might as well just fire you right now since this is pointless. You're obviously not strong enough to handle me or any of this." He yells as the tears pile up more but still don't spill..

I can feel my lip quivering. I hear him turn on the news and sit down on the couch as I yell, "God, you're such an asshole! My husband would never let anyone talk to me like that!"

"Well then, go get your husband, so he can have a talking with me about his weakling wife, who already can't handle this new job she just got." He yells back at me.. making the anger build up within me at the mention of my husband in a mocking tone.

"Fine, you're right! I'm not strong enough for any of this! Just fire me now and get it done and over with! I can't do any of this." I storm out of his front door, slamming it behind me as the brick wall of emotions hit me so hard that the tears flow endlessly. I get into my car sitting for a moment, trying to calm myself because I can't see anything with my eyes filled with so many tears. I gasp for air as I try to calm down, but nothing is working right now. I just cry out to myself for the one thing I can't ever have again.

Tobias' POV

What the f*#k just happened?.. I thought she said to bring it on and that she was strong enough to handle me, I don't understand what's going on maybe I should just fire her...

I don't know what it is, but I have this bad feeling in my gut about what she just said.. like I should go out there.. but there is no way I'm going out there.. Why the f*#k would I go out there for some pretty crybaby. Just because she is beautiful doesn't mean she will get her way with me.

My phone rings loudly, and I look down at the screen to see it's my father. I groan to myself but still reluctantly answer. "Good morning, father." I say in a sarcastic tone.

"Toby is Rebecca with you?" He asks, not even greeting me or asking about me.

"I'm doing fine. Thanks for asking." I say in an even more mocking tone.

"Shut up and answer my question!" He demands so loudly through the phone that I have to hold it away from my ear.

"God calm down, old man. She was here but just stormed out after yelling at me and almost crying.. Good choice on weak assistants dad." I sarcastically explain.

I hear him let out a big sigh on the other end. "You said something that sent her out, right?!" He asks, still groaning.

"Well, yes, what else would you expect from me?" I say with so much humor in my voice. But he doesn't think it is funny as he yells back at me, "You're going to go apologize and make sure she has the next week off AND put on the news, you dumbass! Before you make her feel any worse!" He hangs up the phone before I even have a chance to answer.. What the hell is his problem.. I already have the news on anyways I don't see what the big deal is.

I decided to put my attention to the news in front of me to see what the fuss is all about because im not going out there to apologize for being me. So I turn up the volume as I wait for this mind-blowing information.

'Tragedy struck a family, tearing them apart, leaving them without a father when a driver fell asleep at the wheel crashing into their vehicle and pushing them off the road. Luckily, the wife was able to save the kids, but there was nothing she could do for the husband, and he died before the EMTs could get there. We have tried to interview the wife, but she doesn't want to say anything. But here is what the officer on site had to say...

This is a tragedy, and you hate to see it, but please just give the wife and her kids the respect and space they deserve.. they have refused to talk about this.. but we are taking as much action as we can about the situation, trying to make sure they can have as much help as possible. they have refused to give out their names, so please just be respectful. But they have given us permission to use the pictures taken to help prevent this from happening again. So please just make sure to be as safe as possible out there because it's not just your life on the line.. it's people families.'

I look at the pictures that they privided, and my mouth drops to the floor, if that was even possible.. it's Rebecca and her family crying next to the car dressed up. She is hugging her kids tight crying. My heart drops at the fact that she just lost her husband, and here I am being a complete d**k to her.

"F*#k! I'm a complete asshole!!" I quickly get up and make my way out the front door with haste to try to see if maybe I can catch up to her. To my suprise I saw her car turned on but not moving. I slowly walk closer because I don't think she has noticed me yet.

I get to the side of the car and see the tears streaming down her face like an endless waterfall. She starts punching the steering wheel over and over again, yelling with each punch, "F*#k! F*#k! F*#k! F*#k!" She groans, putting her hands to her face.

I'm not good at these kinds of things.. But I feel like I need to do something. I knock on her window, gaining her attention as she glances over at me and rolls her eyes.

She rolls down her window and demands, "What do you want? Oh, and before you rub your victory in my face.. I gave up.. and these tears are not because of you, so don't get cocky.. you didn't actually win. There's a difference." She says to me, wiping the tears from her eyes.

I open the door staring at her as she is looking at me suspiciously.

"So I just wanted to say sorry." I say to her softly. She just continues to stare at me without actually responding. So I decided to continue, "I was watching the news and.." I try to finish my sentence, but I can't get it out, and before I know it, she finishes it for me.

"You saw what happened to my husband.. ugh. Don't give me your pity-filled apology.. that's not helping, and I don't want your pity."

"No, it's not a pity-filled apology. I'm just really sorry for your loss. He seemed like a good man, and the way he looked at you showed how much he really loved you." I say, trying to explain.

She nods vigorously and says, "He saved me.. he pushed me forward and almost into the back seat with the kids and taking the impact for us all." She says, letting out a wavering breath.

"What? How is that possible?" I ask curiously. She sniffles and explains, "My daughter dropped her purse and asked me to get it for her so I bent over the seats trying to reach it, but he held me there and wouldn't let me move as he told me to stay there because this was going to hurt.. I had no idea what he was talking about until the collision happened, and I held the kids in place so they wouldn't be thrown all over the vehicle. Once we came to a stop, I got down, and the front of the car was completely crushed...." She pauses as she sucks in a sharp breath and continues, "I couldn't see where Jer was hurt, but I could see a lot of blood. I tried to help him but he told me no and to help the kids so I did and when I got back to him he was so pale and weak looking. All he could do was tell me how much he loves me, that he was dying, and to take care of the kids.. That I need to continue to be the light I have always been and stay strong just for them.. But I can't.. I can't do this without him.. I'm not strong enough, even you said so.. what am I going to do?" She gasps as she turns to me, getting out of the driver's side and crashing her body into mine, hugging me tight. This action catches me off guard because I'm not used to people being like this around me.. no one ever wants to hug me.. they always want something from me and not just comfort.. but I don't hate this embrace with her, not one bit.

I wrap my arms around her as I whisper to her, "You seem like such a strong woman, Beck, and you have kids, so you really need to be strong for them.. but you're going to be ok.. everything is going to be ok, no matter how much you think it's not, I swear it will be."

"How is this going to be ok.. I have two kids to take care of on my own as a single mom who is jobless.. none of that sounds like I'm going to be ok." She says in a muffled tone with her face still in my chest.

"You're not jobless, Beck. I'm not firing you." I respond out of no where suprising even myself. She hugs me tighter as she says, "Thank you, Toby." I humm in response rubbing her back. "My father is the one that found out about your husband first and called me, he told me to make sure you had the next week off to be with your family and if you need anything you just let us know." I can feel her nodding in my arms as she says, "The only reason I came today was because I was afraid if I didn't I would lose my job and I was hoping you could distract me from all this.. and look at me now crying like a big baby." She says as I shake my head and say, 'You're not a baby. Your reaction is completely normal in these types of situations. Stop beating yourself up, Beck. It's ok to be upset. It shows how much you loved him. It's ok, Beck, everything is going to be ok." She nods again as I continue to rub her back, helping ease her mind.

I can feel her relaxing in my hold as I take in the smell of her hair. It's like a coconut or something I don't know, but I have to admit... even if it's just to myself that I love it.

It's weird how she fits perfectly with her small frame in mine.. like some type of puzzle pieces that were made for each other, so they fit perfectly together. I never liked hugs before or even trying anything like this with the other girls I have been with.. but for some reason, this just feels natural with her.. and surprisingly enough, I'm not remotely uncomfortable.

I hold her for who knows how long because I'm not keeping track of time, just trying to let this calming feeling she is giving me just wash over me.

I hear her phone ringing, bringing us out of our comforting moment to my dismay. She pulls her phone out and answers it promptly. "Hello? Yes, this is her... is she OK?.. Yes.. I'll be there soon, thank you." She hands up the phone, looking up at me as she says, "Thank you for everything, Toby.. but my daughter is crying at the school and I have to go get her." I nod as she looks up at me curiously, but before she can say anything, I realize she is staring because I haven't let her go. I reluctantly slowly release her from my arms. I feel cold and lonely without her in my hold, making me sad about just that one action.

She stares up at me as she says, "Thank you again for everything.. you know.. you're really not such a bad guy. I really like this guy that you have shown me today, not that arrogant asshole in there..but the sweet, genuine man you can be out here. I'll never forget this, Toby. Have a good day, thank you.. and I'll see you bright and early next monday." She says as she slowly gets on her toes and presses her soft lips to my cheek, almost taking my breath away at that one simple gesture.

"Don't tell anyone I can be nice it would ruin my reputation." I say back to her as she looks up at me and says, "If being nice and helping someone in need is ruining your reputation, then maybe you need to change your reputation." She turns and gets back into her car and slowly drives out of my driveway, leaving me standing alone, wishing I had more time with her... what the f*#k is wrong with me.. I'm not a one woman man, I'm a ladies' man.. why are these feelings plaguing my mind? Maybe I need to call another girl over to take my mind off of her with drugs and alcohol.. yeah, that's it.

Flashback ended...