Forest Through the Trees

Chapter 6 (Jamie)

To say my day didn’t start out the best would be an understatement. Let’s just say, I have gone all summer with my girlfriend being out of the country and the frustration I have been feeling has made for a pretty… Messy morning.

It goes without saying that besides “Palm-ila Hand-erson” I have been completely faithful to Scar throughout our entire relationship, even though she takes every opportunity to accuse me, or try and make me confess to something I haven’t done. I know that it’s because she is insecure or whatever. Afraid that I am going to ditch her like everyone else in her life.

But it is getting old.

Fast.

As bad as it sounds, I would be lying if I said I was never tempted.

To cheat, I mean.

I am only human, after all. And what can I say? Ladies love soccer players.

But the important thing is that I have never acted on any of those propositions. I've never even so much as kissed another girl while drunk at a party.

I have, however, gone as far as to justify it in my mind. I mean, if I’m getting repeatedly accused of it anyway...

That’s horrible.

I internally shake myself. I would never do that. No one deserves to be cheated on. And if I was really that tempted, then the relationship is coming to an end anyway. So there is no reason to jump the gun.

By the time Liz is finally out of the bathroom, I have exactly 8 min to be showered, dressed, and out the door to pick up Scar for school.

Actually, I wonder if she even wants me to pick her up or if it is just going to be another waste of time. But I figure it is better to be safe than sorry. I always pick her up and if she is waiting for me and I don’t show…

I actually cringe at the thought.

I sometimes joke to myself that I am a battered man. Verbally battered anyway. She rarely hits me.

It’s not really funny.

I rush through my morning routine and miraculously manage to make it to her house by 8:15, going to the door so I can help her carry her bag and give her the gift I got her over the summer. It’s a gold locket in the shape of a heart. I went ahead and put a picture of us in it. I just pray that this will help smooth things over from yesterday.

I still can’t believe that I forgot what day it was.

Thank god for Alex. She could have been totally stranded. I doubt that her parents would have canceled their plans to go and get her.

That makes me really sad for her.

I have always known how lucky I am. My mom can be overbearing at times, but she loves me and tells me that every day. She was my best friend growing up and I still confide in her about pretty much everything.

Within reason.

She knows a lot about the problems Scar and I have, and because of that, I know she doesn’t exactly like her, which puts another major strain on our relationship. But I have learned that there is little I can’t handle when it comes to Scarlet.

I go up to her massive front door and ring the bell.

And ring again.

When no one answers after the sixth time. I give up and head back toward my truck. She is either still mad at me, or she has driven herself to school.

Or both.

“Mr. Aspen?”

I turn back towards the door and see her housekeeper waving me over, so I hurry back up the steps and see she is holding a large Old Navy sweater.

“Mr. Stanton. You left your sweater in Miss. Scarlet's room last night.”

She smiles at me awkwardly and I can feel my face getting hot, remembering that this woman has caught Scar and me… you know… before. But for some reason, she thinks that we were doing… THAT… again last night. The only problem is that I wasn’t here last night.

I take the sweater from her anyway and give her the best smile I could manage.

“Uh, thanks. Is Scar here?”

She looks at me confused and shakes her head.

“She left for school already.”

I thank her again and leave.

In my head, I know that there must be some innocent explanation, but my stomach is in knots and I need to find her and talk to her as soon as possible.

*** *** ***

At school, I look for her at our usual table in the Caf, in the music room where she likes to hang out sometimes, and even in the library. By the time the first bell rings, I’m almost sure she is avoiding me.

My stomach turns again.

I hate that feeling.

Does this mean something happened last night and that is why she is avoiding me?

I have no idea what classes she has this semester and I am almost glad. I would no doubt end up barging in and embarrassing myself and probably her too.

I finally decide there is nothing I can do right now. I have no idea where she is, or if she is even at school. The only thing I can do is get to class and hope she is in my first period.

She’s not.

I make it just in time. Sliding in the door right as the last bell rings. Good thing too. Mrs. Collins is a great teacher, but she is a hardass when she thinks you are wasting her time.

I know Scar isn’t here. I would be able to spot her fire-red hair from a mile away. But I can’t help but scan the room a second time. There are a lot of people I know. Dylan, who is on the soccer team with me. Josh from Rugby. Michelle, our Vice President of Student Council, and Jessie, who works at Doc's in the park down the road from my house.

The classroom is not full, there are about 5 seats left open.

Of course, all in the middle.

Everyone has either gravitated to the front, where the “smart kids” like to congregate, or the back where the “slackers” are. I ignore the waves of people wanting me to sit by them and I grab a seat closest to the window and away from everyone else.

I just don’t really give a s**t right now.

I’m not in a good mood.

Normally, I'm very social. I get along with pretty much everyone, but I can’t handle the small talk right now. Instead, I give a polite nod or wave to the people who are trying to get my attention and hope they aren’t overly offended by my choice to be alone.

Not to mention that I am still secretly hoping that Scar will show up, and I need to leave a space for her. She can have any of the four around me. Any of them will be within reach if we need to talk. Which we very much do.

That reminds me. Alex is supposed to have this class too. We compared schedules a week ago when they came in.

But Alex isn’t here either.

I crane my neck to see out the window. We are on the second floor and the student parking lot is down to the left. I can see my big black Chevy Silverado in the same spot at the end of the lot where I have parked every day since I got my license last year. I don’t see Scar's white Lexus convertible or Alex’s P.O.S Ford Fiesta that I think may have once been silver. That's not surprising though, as he shares it with his dad and Bob needs it most days for work.

My face is almost pressed up against the glass, as I strain to see the part of the lot that disappears behind the school when I hear Mrs. Collins call my name.

“Here!” I call. Sliding back into my seat.

There are muffled snickers and giggles around the room.

Mrs. Collins is not amused and has that look on her face. The look she reserves for people she thinks are going to be a problem. She hushes the rest of the class with a look before rounding on me again with her grey eyes.

“Mr. Aspen. Would you care to explain what is so interesting outside? More interesting even, than my explanation of this semester’s workload?”

I sink down in my seat shaking my head. I feel eyes on me but I’m not the kind of person to make a scene and I really don’t want to piss off this teacher. Despite the fact that she is very tiny, she is quite intimidating. Her faded blond hair is pulled back in a no-nonsense bun and the glasses that hang on a chain around her neck make her look old, even though I’m pretty sure she is only in her late 40s or early 50s at most. She is the kind of teacher who you don’t like to disappoint, who earns respect by being firm but fair.

I feel embarrassed and can’t manage to say anything but a quiet “Sorry”.

She shakes her head at me. “Well then, if it’s all right with you I would like to get started.”

This time she doesn’t expect or even wait for a reply.

I try my best to concentrate as she explains some of what we are going to be covering in her class, but my mind is elsewhere. All I can do is sit and look like I am paying attention. Praying that she doesn’t notice and call on me again.

We are halfway through the class when there is a knock on the door. Mrs. Collins sighs, clearly annoyed that she is being interrupted, and walks over to the door. I lean far back in my seat till the whole desk is almost tipping over, desperately trying to see around our teacher’s slight frame.

"Please be Scar. Please be Scar!" I mumble to myself.

“Well, that is interesting.” Mrs. Collins steps aside. “You can both take a seat over there by Mr. Aspen.”

Both who? Scar and Alex?

Kaleb steps through the door.

I recognize him instantly. The image of him tumbling off of the pear yesterday will be forever ingrained into my memory. I still feel horrible. I don’t think he was really all that hurt, but it no doubt was mortifying for him.

I look him over as he weaves through the desks.

There are no visible signs that he was hurt. No limp, bruises, or cuts. In that way, I guess he was actually very lucky. It could have been a whole lot worse. If I had had to dive in after him and save his life, I am sure that would have been the icing on the cake. I am sure he would hate me then.

When he catches sight of me, his face changes as recognition dawns. It goes from calm interest to what I can only guess is annoyance.

Scratch that, he might already hate me.

Honestly, I can’t blame him, I would probably dislike him too if the situation was reversed. I doubt our first meeting could have gone worse. I think he actually grimaces as he walks towards me, realizing that he is going to be stuck sitting by me for a very long time.

I give him a small smile and a wave as he sinks into a seat as far away from me as he can get, which is only about 5 feet diagonally. He averts his gaze from me and I feel stupid as I try to smoothly abort mid-wave, realizing that he isn’t going to acknowledge me.

Shit! I think this guy actually does hate me!

I hear Jessie “tsk” as she turns her back on him as best she can while sitting next to him. He scowls in her direction and pulls a notepad from the bag at his feet. Well, at least it's not only me, this guy clearly knows how to make friends.

“Oh. Hey! I know you!” Says a sweet voice.

I look up to see Willow smiling down at me.

“Uh... Hey!” I say dumbly.

I had forgotten how pretty she was since yesterday. With her forest-green eyes and long blond hair that is now in a high ponytail. There are some loose strands at the sides that aren’t clipped back and I realize that I am gaping like an i***t as she tucks a few behind her ear.

“So… is it OK if I sit here?” She gestures to the empty seat beside me and in front of Kaleb.

“Of course!" I say, overly enthusiastically.

And then, for some reason, I stand up.

What am I doing? Did I honestly just try and escort her to her desk?

I mentally facepalm.

Idiot.

Mercifully, she pretends not to notice and slides gracefully into her seat. Dropping her book bag with an exaggerated thump, which makes Mrs. Collins turn with a questioning glance as to why there is so much noise coming from our direction. Willow gives a small wave and mouths an apology which grants her an eye roll before she continues on with her lecture.

This girl is amazing.

Kaleb clears his throat and I look back to see him glaring at me.

Shit. He noticed I’m staring.

Why am I staring? I have a girlfriend. A very hot, fiery redheaded girlfriend who would kill me for how I am behaving right now.

Wait.

Do I still have a girlfriend?

Willow smiles over at me with raised eyebrows.

OH, GOD. WHY AM I STILL STARING?

I smile back embarrassed and look away.

Again I try and focus on what is being said as I steal glances out of the corner of my eye at Willow. She has a notebook open but instead of taking notes, I see her absently doodling swirls and different unrecognizable shapes. I smile to myself as I look down at my unopened book that has similar scribbles on the cover.

I wonder if it helps her think as it does me.

The door suddenly opens again without a knock.

By now I have zero hope of it being Scar, and, of course, it isn't.

Instead, in saunters Alex. Followed closely by Mr. Pinecomb, our V.P.

I’m not surprised in the least. He was most likely caught skipping or is already in crap for picking a fight. I wave him down as he scans the room and it almost looks like he does a double-take when he sees Willow.

Not that I can blame him. Just look at her.

A wave of unexplainable jealousy hits me as it dawns on me that Alex could have a shot with her. Sure, he has a prickly personality, but he is a pretty good-looking dude by girl's standards.

Tall, built, brooding... Tall.

I almost regret that he will be sitting anywhere near her until I see her look up and grimace as he approaches.

Do they know each other?

She gives the smallest sigh and rolls her eyes, looking back down at her notebook.

She has either already witnessed his bad side firsthand or is an impeccable judge of character. Either way, I find myself relieved that she doesn’t seem to like him.

Alex slides into the seat directly behind me and right beside Kaleb who doesn’t even acknowledge his presence. He seems to be too busy scribbling furiously in his notebook.

Mrs. Collins steps out into that hall, leaving the door ajar while talking with Pincomb in a hushed voice. So, I take this time to question suspect number one. I turn around in my seat to see Alex glaring at the back of Willow's head.

What the hell is his problem?

“Have you seen Scar yet today? She wasn't home when I went to pick her up this morning".

He tears his eyes from her and turns his menacing gaze on me but doesn’t say anything.

“What the hell is your problem today?” He is acting off. More moody than usual.

He jerks a hand through his messy brown hair and gives a tense sigh “It’s just been a s**t day. Ok?”.

I nod as he looks me over, like he is studying me for some reason. I don’t know whether to press him about Scar or what is going on with him, or not. Alex is like an extreme game of Perfection. One where you have to get all the pieces in the right spots but the game could explode and mess everything up at any time, but you never know what will set it off.

I decide to take the risk because I need to know what is going on.

“You didn't answer my question. Have you seen Scar?”

He grinds his teeth and it's like I can feel the heat of his anger.

I don't think I am the only one who picks it up, because at that moment, Kaleb and Willow both shift in their seats.

“Why the f**k should I know where she is?” His voice is so low that I almost can't hear him "She's your girlfriend".

Shit. Wrong piece.

Wait. Why the hell is he mad at me? I have done nothing wrong here and this whole asshole act is starting to piss me off. I can feel my own anger building. Only Alex has the ability to push my buttons so fast.

“I went by her house this morning and she wasn’t there and then her housekeeper gave me a dude's sweater that isn’t f*****g mine. I have looked everywhere I can think of and out of the two of us, YOU are the last one to see her. Because YOU went and picked her up last night. Which, by the way, you could have come and got me when she called instead of going yourself. So what the f**k is going on and where is my f*****g girlfriend?”

I started out in a low tone, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I am not comfortable with other people knowing my business, unlike Scar who is famous for making a scene. But, by the time I finish my rant, I realize that I must have gotten a little loud because several people are now looking over at us with questioning looks.

Including Willow.

“Mr. Aspen. Is there a problem?”

Mrs. Collins gives me the evil eye for the second time this period.

“No ma’am,” I say turning back around to face the front.

She crosses her arms and walks over to me. I realize now that Mr. Pincomb has gone, which means I have interrupted her yet again and she looks mad.

She stops just before my desk. I shrink a little under her glare but she turns her attention to Alex, who doesn’t so much as flinch.

“Mr. Black. I am so very glad you decided to join our class, and that I get the pleasure of teaching you again this year. I also know we will not be facing the same issues as last year. Will we?”

Alex doesn’t answer but continues to hold her stare. She must have meant it as a rhetorical question because she smiles with just the corner of her mouth. With the slightest nod, she turns back to the front of the room once more.

I make it through the rest of the class without embarrassing myself further. I retain nothing but do manage to fill up the rest of the front cover of my notebook with illegible scribbles and doodles.

When the bell finally rings, I am so relieved I can barely wait to bolt out of the room. Apparently, Alex has the same idea because he is gone before the bell even stops ringing. I wish I was better prepared, I really don’t want to have to talk to anyone except the one who just fled from the room.

I’m not an i***t. I KNOW he knows something.

Maybe I can catch him if I hurry.

However, all hope of that vanishes along with pretty much every other thought when Willow stops me “Are you alright?”.

She looks genuinely concerned, which throws me off a bit. I’m not really used to people outside of my family caring much about me. Even Scar gives a basic amount of interest in how I’m doing or feeling.

“Oh. Uh, yeah. It’s just… Friend stuff I guess.”

“Alex is your friend?” She looks doubtful.

I run a hand along the back of my neck. Now, THIS is a conversation I am used to having with people. “He isn’t as bad as he seems... usually”.

I have spent years defending him, but today it sounds like bullshit even to me. I just shrug because that is all I can do, and thankfully she doesn’t press it.

“Right. Well, I'm sorry to bother you with this, but do you think you could tell me how to get to the art wing? This school has me completely messed up, and this map is… well…”

“Useless.” I finish for her. “It was last updated like a decade ago and since then they have added a new tech wing and a fourth Gym”. I give her a sympathetic smile. "I got so lost like every day in grade 9, so I feel your pain."

She smiles and nods. "So it's not just me."

I weigh my options. I could try and catch up to Alex but I have a feeling that it would be pointless even if I did manage to catch up to him. He is clearly in a mood. Or I could spend the next ten minutes before second period looking for Scar. But to be honest, I am sure that would be futile too. As Willow pointed out, this place is a maze. I would be lucky to find her even if I knew exactly where she was. And I don't.

I look over at Willow frowning down at her school map.

"Definitely not just you." I laugh "It's alright, I'll walk you to the Art wing. I am going that way too".