Forest Through the Trees

Chapter 9 (Willow)

The second half of the day went by in a blur.

Math class was actually not that bad. I have always loathed the subject but Thwaits is one of those teachers who explains it in a way you can actually follow. Mostly because she assumes we are all idiots. But that doesn’t bother me.

I noticed Alex and Scarlet were both missing from class. I wasn’t exactly surprised after what happened at lunch but I have to admit that I am a little curious as to what went down after they left.

Jamie was there but he seemed upset and not at all his usual smiling, chatty self. He just sat in his seat with his head down.

I feel bad for him. I don’t know what is going on but I remember what it was like to be in a fight with friends and it sucks. I debate asking if he would like to talk but I decide against it. After lunch, I realize I am likely more of a problem than a solution and it’s probably better if I just keep my distance.

As much as I like Jamie and can see us being friends, I don’t want to cause any trouble for him. Not to mention I am not totally sure if I would fit into his friend group. Scarlet clearly hates me and I don’t think that I could be friends with someone like Alex.

So, for now, I will just let it be.

My last class was Comm Tech and it wasn’t that bad either. I thought that it was Computer Tech, but it is actually Communications tech. Still done on the computer but among other things, the subject covers PowerPoint, Media, and my personal favorite, Graphic Design.

I am just extremely grateful that I don’t have to do coding, which I was dreading all day. I would almost prefer to do Gym. My hand absently runs over my side as I think about changing in front of other people.

Almost.

After the last class, I head towards the bus ramps, knowing Kaleb will be heading over there as well.

“You!” I hear someone hiss from behind me.

I ignore it. There are about twenty other people around me, none of them would have any reason to talk to me. Let alone like that.

Or so I thought.

“Hey, I am talking to you!”.

I feel my bag get yanked from my shoulder as I am jerked back. It falls to the ground and I nearly lose my balance and fall with it but manage to right myself before that happens. I really hate my over-the-shoulder bag, it’s bulky and clearly, there is too much to grab onto.

I swivel around ready to square off with the offender.

“What the hell is your problem?” I say, as my eyes land on Scarlet.

Great. Can’t say that I didn’t see this coming.

“YOU, are my problem,” she says looking down at me.

Wow, she is a lot taller than I thought she was at first. I hate being short and having people look down on me. Literally and figuratively. I also hate when people crowd my personal space.

I take a half step back. A choice I regret because she clearly takes it as me backing down.

She takes another step towards me and points her finger in my face. “You need to stay away from my boyfriend.”

I am aware that people have stopped to watch this little interaction, and I can’t help but wonder if she does this often, or if I am just “lucky” enough to be present at the point of her mental breakdown.

Either way, I can’t back down.

My blood is boiling but I decide to take the high road.

I take a breath. “Scarlet you are embarrassing yourself. I don’t know Jamie very well but he seems like a decent guy and all he has been to me is friendly and kind.” She blinks at me and looks around. She was clearly expecting me to cower or perhaps get angry back, and admittedly I thought about it but what would sinking to her level accomplish?

“Do you think I am dumb? I know you want him. Everyone wants him and you are no different than the hordes of other girls after him”.

I get it now. She's insecure. And if she truly believes what she is saying, it's not hard to see why. I feel kind of bad for her. Jamie doesn't strike me as the unfaithful type, but again, I don't really know him.

I step closer and lower my voice “Look, you don’t have to worry about me. There is nothing going on between us. But if I were you, I would spend more time repairing whatever is going on between you two than harassing every person you perceive as a threat”.

Her glair turns deadly.

“I can assure you that our relationship is solid, we just don’t need some SLUT nosing around and trying to get in between us.” She all but screams in my face.

Ok, this b***h has clearly lost it and I can tell that I am not going to be able to reason with her.

Now I feel sorry for Jamie, but it also makes me wonder how unhinged he is to be with someone like this.

I would like to walk away now. There is no point in arguing with her, it won't accomplish anything. But I have a feeling that she isn’t going to let me do that.

“You alright?” I feel Kaleb's hand on my shoulder. I don’t even have to look to know it's him I can just feel his calm presence wash over me.

Scarlet has to lean back ever so slightly to look up at him. I am good at defending myself but sometimes it's nice to have Kaleb around for the pure intimidation factor. He is big and most people won't mess with him for that simple reason, at least not one on one.

They have no idea that he is actually a giant teddy bear.

Her eyes are still ablaze but she lowers her voice, pointing a finger at me “Just stay away from us”. Then, looking up at Kaleb she adds “both of you” before storming off down the hall.

I turn to look at Kaleb who is unabashedly watching her walk away. He sees me notice and shrugs when I roll my eyes at him.

“Looks like you made a new friend” he jokes as he picks up my bag that is still on the floor.

I snort and follow him out to the bus pick-up while filling him in on what he missed.

“I can see why she thinks that,” he admits casually when I am done explaining.

"What do you mean?"

"The dude is all over you Willow” he laughs "Don't tell me you haven't noticed." When I shake my head he adds "And I thought I was bad at picking up signals".

I can’t help but laugh. “He is not into me. He’s just... friendly”.

He gives me his best disbelieving look. “Willow, I can tell when a dude is thinking about pile-driving my sister, It’s kind of my job.”

I feel my cheeks heat and I smack his arm “Ewe, Kaleb".

Jamie and me?

I'll admit he is gorgeous. I like how his dark hair matches his big, expressive, brown eyes. They are the kind of eyes that can't hide emotion and when he smiles, they light up. I also like the way he smiles wider on one side of his mouth and that his laugh is contagious or that he laughs harder when he makes you laugh.

Then there's his body. I only got a sneak peek yesterday when he took his shirt off on the dock. But his tanned skin exaggerates his rippling abs...

Whoa, girl.

Not only is he extremely out of my league, but he is very much unavailable. I'm just not that kind of girl that fantasizes about being with a guy she can't have. Nothing good can come from that.

“Besides, even if he was into me, I don’t have a death wish” I inwardly cringe thinking about what Scarlet would do to me. Psycho, drop-dead gorgeous Scarlet “and he clearly has a type, I may fit the crazy category but Scarlet is in a league of her own”.

It's hard to believe that a bombshell like her could be so insecure. What could she possibly have to worry about?

From an outside perspective, Jamie and Scarlet are a match made in heaven. They are that beautiful couple you see in magazines. But upon closer inspection, they clearly have issues.

Kaleb shrugs “I guess you put up with a lot to be with someone like that”.

“Do you really think that’s what it is? He's with her just because she's hot?”

Kaleb gives me a look. “I don’t know. But that is enough for some people.” He is quiet for a moment before asking “Why do you like him?”

I am taken off-guard by his question “I don’t like him”.

He gives me another disbelieving look.

I feel my cheeks heat again, “I mean not really. Sure he is hot, but I don’t like... like him. I mean he is nice from what I can tell but I really don’t know anything about him”.

Why am I getting so flustered?

Kaleb thinks about my answer and nods. “But you might give him a shot if you got to know him better?”

“I don’t think there is any risk of that happening” I laugh. “Didn’t you hear? I have been told to stay away!”

He smiles at that “Yes because you are always so good at following the rules”.

I fain shock “Of course, I will try my best to obey her royal highness”.

Kaleb laughs “Of course”.

He seems to get lost in thought for a moment but when he comes back his expression gets serious “Better Jamie than that Alex kid. I don’t trust him, he is bad news, and I think you should stay away from him”.

I bust out laughing at that “I think I can handle him”. Someone needs to put him in his place and I might just be the one to do it.

The look of worry on Kaleb's face makes me feel bad "I mean it, Will, there is just something about him that's... off."

I nudge his side with my elbow “Don’t worry, I will avoid him as much as possible, I was planning on it anyway”. I can’t see myself wanting to spend time with him. Unless he has a lobotomy or a brain switch or maybe electroshock therapy.

That seems to ease his mind a little.

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to walk with you to your appointment?” He asks as he is about to get on the bus.

I shake my head. “Nah, I’ll be fine. No sense in us both suffering”.

It is a long walk from the school to downtown, and even farther back to our house.

“Alright, but text me when you are done and I will try and get mom to pick you up”.

I nod but don’t feel hopeful of that happening. Kaleb gives me a half-smile, knowing exactly what I am thinking. “Or I could come to meet you halfway?” he offers.

I shake my head. “Seriously, I will be fine. Buuut, If you really want to help me out, you could let me copy your math homework?” I give him my best puppy dog eyes.

He rolls his before disappearing onto the bus.

That wasn’t a no!

*** *** ***

The walk downtown was long, taking me over an hour but still leaving me with about an hour to kill. So, I decided to cut over a block and take a walk down the main street.

And I do me 'down'.

The main street is on a hill that stretches from the harbor up towards the “hills”, which would better be described as small mountains, on the opposite side of town. Shops line both sides of the street in old, two or three-story brick buildings.

I have only been down here once since we moved in at the start of summer and found it too crowded with tourists to bother exploring. But it is a lot quieter now and I can totally understand the appeal.

From where I am near the top, I have a great view of the Bay. It’s stunning right now, with the sun glistening on the water and the first hint of autumn colors dabbing the tops of the forest in the distance.

I really wish I had brought my camera. I make a mental note to bring it with me next week.

As I walk down the street, I scope out a few stores that pique my interest. There is a music store, a couple of restaurants, a candy shop, an arcade, a general store, and several art studios/galleries. I will have a ton of exploring to do and now I am not dreading coming down here on a weekly basis as much.

For today's adventure, I decide to check out a cool-looking book store/coffee shop called “The Loft”. This place is cool, and apparently, I am not the only one who thinks so as it is pretty busy.

The place has bookshelves on every spare inch of wall with comfortable-looking, mismatched furniture in the form of couches, chairs, and tables scattered throughout. At the far end is a counter where they serve beverages and baked goods, and close to the wall on one side is a spiral staircase leading to the second-floor loft. It’s completely open to the floor below except for a railing that has a neat-looking, carved wood sign hanging from it that says “The Loft”, and some string lights twisted through the spindles.

The smell in here is amazing. Like old books, coffee, and cake. I can’t wait to show it to Kaleb. He will think he has died and gone to heaven. I decide to get myself an Ice Coffee and see what they have upstairs.

The loft has more of the same. Comfy furniture and loads of books. I wish I had more time to hang around, but now I have to hurry if I don't want to be late.

I am about to head out the door when I see Scarlet and Jamie in the corner by the window. I find myself holding my breath, hoping I can slip out without them noticing me, but it’s too late. Scarlet and I make eye contact over Jamie’s shoulder as they embrace. She glares at me for a moment before she pulls him into a kiss.

Gross, P.D.A. I turn to leave but not before she gives me the finger as she twines her hands around his neck.

I can’t help but roll my eyes, shaking my head. If she's the kind of girl Jamie is into then they deserve each other.

*** *** ***

I make it to my appointment with not a moment to spare, winded from both trekking the hill and having to do it fast. On the plus side, I don’t have to wait and am ushered right in.

“Hello Willow” Dr. X greets me when I walk in.

His name is not really Dr. X. That is just what I like to call him because he is bald and reminds me of Charles Xavier from the X-Men. His real name is Dr. David Davis, which to me sounds like he could be from the Marvel Universe except for the fact that he isn’t nearly interesting or cool enough.

Dr. X is behind his desk going over paperwork but gestures over to the two couches that face each other with a coffee table between them “Please, come in and make yourself comfortable”.

I take my usual spot at the end of the closest couch putting my bag beside me. After a moment he comes over to join me, sitting on the opposite couch.

“So, how are you doing today?” He smiles and looks me over, opening my file and setting it on his crossed leg with a pen poised and ready to write.

“Good,” I say, already bored of this.

“That’s good,” he writes something down and I can’t hide my frown. How can he possibly have something to write about already? Just from me saying the word “Good”?

He looks back up at me again “So, today was the first day of school” he says.

It isn’t a question, he knows the answer, we talked about it last week, but I nod in confirmation anyway.

“And how did that go?”

I can feel his eyes boring into me, and I think about how much better a psychiatrist he would be if like Charles Xavier he could read minds.

“It went well” he nods, waiting for me to continue. “I have some good classes”.

“Very good, and what about your classmates, did you meet anyone interesting today?”

“Are you asking if I made any friends?” I smirk thinking about Scarlet.

“Sure” he replies, sounding doubtful “Or any potential friends”.

His lack of faith in me is so encouraging, I think sarcastically, but not exactly misplaced.

“I am not sure yet,” I tell him truthfully “I thought I was making a friend but I don’t think that is going to happen now”. Because his possessive girlfriend will never allow it, I add to myself.

“Do you want to make friends?”

I laugh a little “Doesn’t everyone?”.

He doesn’t laugh back or even smile “I’m asking if YOU do. Do you feel ready to make friends?”

My smile dies too “What do you mean ready?”

“I mean do you feel like you are capable of opening up to another person?”

“I guess... I don’t know.”

“Are you taking Gym class this semester?”

“Why does that matter?” I can hear the defensiveness in my own voice and I know I have messed up. We sit in silence for a few moments until he finishes scribbling in his notes.

He looks up at me and gives me his attempt at an encouraging smile. “You are free to go at your own pace Willow, only take the steps that you are comfortable with, that is your right. But when you are finally able to be comfortable with yourself it will be much easier for you to be comfortable with other people.”

“Are you saying that I need to be able to take my clothes off in order to make friends?”

He doesn’t find that funny either. “What I am saying is that when you can accept what happened and the consequences that it had, then you will be able to move forward. And part of that will include letting people in that you can trust. Ergo, make friends”.

“So, if I can make friends that will prove that I am getting better?”

Dr. X just looks at me.

I know that look. It’s the "nothing is ever that simple" look.

I sigh.

“Have you been taking the medication?” He changes the subject.

“Yes... Sometimes” I don’t know why I can’t lie to him. Maybe he really is Dr. Xavier.

He looks at me pointedly. “It’s fine if you take them as needed. It’s far better to be taking too little than too much”.

I nod, relieved that I am not expected to take it all the time. I hate the way it makes me feel.

“Do you need a refill?”

I shake my head, opening my bag and pulling out the nearly full bottle, and giving it a shake “I’m all good”.

Dr. X gives a curt nod “I am glad you aren’t relying on them, but don’t be afraid to take them if you feel you need to. Ok?”.

“Ok,” I answer.

“Promise?”

“No”.