There is no secrets

CHAPTER TWO

A dread full pain holds my neck , as I open my eyes I am on a bed made of straw . I am inside a room full of blood ,piss and s**t . memories of the boat rolls back to me .

When I try and open the door it doesn’t open , I am locked in.

Sudden I hear masa “ this is what happens when you want to sneak off at night , when no ones watching ya.” He opens the door and a black man comes and snatches me up ,of the ground.

I’m in a head lock, and all I can think of is sticking my knee into his sank ass. The Pain running through my vails.

I open my mouth ,and bit down on his leg, as he beats me with his other hand ,I stuck my arm right were is p***s is , joe clutches his ball and rolls straight to the ground .

I isn’t no runaway , I said

“You lying little s**t, you was outside at night .my son caught you red handed , now if you want to lie to me again .I can make this worser for you, cause this will only be good to me” masa said.

Tie this b***h up and get my wip.

Those lashes was the first lashes I had ever gotten from anyone. I could hear the screams inside my body . after the twentieth hit ,I could feel my legs shake , like there was ants crawling up my legs.

Each time, his hits would get harder , I should be glad he let me keep my clothes . after this I know what’s next , I have to work while the others eat .

When they un untied me, and I directly on my knees , they walked away while I sat there , I could hear the other mamas crying and praying for me.

“Massa, I isn’t no run away , I did not try to run away . “I said but he didn’t pay me no mind . I was weak and torn, but I was able to keep myself afloat . I got up and I went to that room , I didn’t cry , I didn’t think , I did nothing.

I wont be no slave for these fools , and I isn’t no slave , I’m living, Im not a dying beast ,to pry on . they dare to beat and cut me . I ought to show them who I can be .

Suddenly, a man of my color walks into my room , he lays a bitten piece of bread before me.

It will only get Harder here , they call me pa , your more then welcome to call me rich or pa . have you ever heard god , or gods word. He said to me.

I do know of god ,and god surly hates me . I said.

“No man born from a woman is perfect , no women born from a woman is not a sinner . let me tell you about god .God sent his son to us , to spread his word , and Jesus, Gods son died on the cross after suffering that is so true to us , for our sins .”

“What I’m trying to say , god loves you and all you have to do is call upon him , speak to him , and you’ll be saved. My dear I don’t know ,you but god knows you, and he sees you. One day god will come before us and he will judge all of us. Half of us wont make it into heaven , instead majority of the people will suffer in hell for all eternity .”He says ,as he goose away.

Pa , I feel like I’ve been suffering ever sense I opened my eyes, why am I walking in Jesus shoes while the white folks , live in the devils arms , happily .why do I feel hatred , I feel evil, I think evil , I breath after evil .God shouldn’t love me . I was born into evil , I am evil.

“God I pray that she finds her way into your arms , god I pray that she makes it out of this hell , god give her the courage ,and the wisdom , to keep going . pray to god like this . Jesus is your lord and savior , he died for all of our sins and I bet he wouldn’t go back even if he could .God I pray that you wipe the evil from this child’s eyes ,and bring her faith and light she can follow . god lead her down this earthy path straight onto yours. In the name of Jesus , I pray amen.”

After that day I started talking to god, I prayed for a way out of this hell .i asked god why is this happening , I asked for forgiveness , and I asked for death . god didn’t answer me .