There is no secrets

CHAPTER THREE

its a cold night , and I find myself running . i cant stand for one moment to think about my next steps , there’s fire behind me and loud charms that comes over my head .

I love to think there’s more in front of me then there is behind me , so I hid behind this lowly cave. Suddenly they stop chasing me. A deep breath , takes away the worries . god , oh god please deliver me . were is my path , were should I go.

I slept there till the sun rise , and I began to walk again . there’s no were for me truly , I don’t belong in this world. God please take me.

Something gashed in my head and I hit the ground . looking up at a big white man witch I never seen before.

“Boys we got us a run away “ the man said as he drags me onto my feel. Placing chains on my body . they laugh at me as they lift up their wine skins and drinks , as they hop on their horses.

I’ve lost my hope and faith . so were do I go now . Jesus has officially abandoned me , I asked for help and I got captured . I asked for a path and you took my hope . I will slaughter the world in my hand of a dagger . I am done forgiving and living . I live as I am truly dead . I am nothing but a walking corpse, and I will burn with you people in hell.

Suddenly , I stab the man Infront of me, in his leg . with the dagger hooked to his horse bag . he falls to the ground as I force the knife upon his neck. The men hop of their horses with their guns.

“Now there you little lady , what u gone do with that , drop the knife like a good sport ,and well let you go“ the man said

“Im not your slave , I don’t belong in these chains . give me them keys” I said . the man takes the keys off of his belt chain and throws them at me . I take the mans rifle out of the horse bag , as he frees me .

Oh lord did a weight just come off of me , I dare not to let these ,take me.

I shoot the man pointing the gun at me twice in his face . I c**k the gun back just before the other hunter could pull his trigger . he shoots at me . missed by an inch. Pow.

The bullet went in between his eyes as he drops to the floor.

Please please just let me go , you come with me and I’ll free you . I never meant to hurt you. He said sincerely . the look in that man eyes , was the same look , them men gave me when I was just a little girl and they took my mama from me.

I despise you , I hate you .

He just looked at me ,like he knew , he was gone die today , by my hands.

I took that man and I tied him to the trees , stretching his arms. I took his wip and and I lashed all my anger out on him . you could hear the hit , it aint sound like no black man ,being wiped . it was the sound of heaven gates closing . I could hear the anmials scurring away .

I got tried of beating him , the man was half dead . I took his eye from his socket and I made him eat it .this brought that look back on my face. that look just before I got sold . the degusting sounds of him eating his eyeball sounded like a rubber ball swishing in his mouth , till it split in half .

That man should be gone now , but he still going , now aint it that the will of god Ri .

Mama , am I truly crazy now . im hearing the words of a dead woman .

I get to walk away from this dying man but he don’t get to walk ,at all. I take away his clothing and sheets , they may have gotten for the journey . there is so much food on this carriage , that I stuff everything in the horse bag .

I am now covered in a white mans sheets, like a hat one needs in a winter month. The sun is beaning , if I knew how to ride one of those horses, I would’ve ,but I’m afraid they’ll die before that happens.

It’s a long journey ahead of me ,I do not know were I am going . I choose not to put my faith in god ,but in myself.

The thought of leaving the world , over comes my steps , but the feeling of burning screams , cools my flesh. This is insane , but it feels right. I look through the bag for something fresh and easy to eat , but I mostly have is apples and bread , milk and cheese. This reminds me of my mother’s cheese bread . The milk makes the bread sweet, and fluffy . This was the true definition of salty and sweet.

Im looking for a place to lay my head , it’s almost noon, and the coyotes is out . I wasn’t ever scared of no animal , but I knew I needed to protect myself and there was nothing better then a newly sharpened spear .

Thinking of my mother’s old spears , reminded me of hunting and cooking . Being in the wilderness , brought back times were we looked for spices and medicine.

Finally I found somewhere I could lay , it’s a big dam near the river , it was big enough for me and my mother to sleep in .

I emptied the bag out , luckily there was a knife. It was big enough to be a limb, on a tree . It was thin enough to cut off my head in two try’s .

I found some wood small enough to make arrows , and created a fire with the wood chips . It was big enought to use , and small enought that no one could see it.

There was a book right next to me , it was small enough to fit in my pocket .it said ,the holy bible. When I opened it , it said In the begging god created heaven and earth .

“So god created day and night “

without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. I continue reading the Bible finding comfort and peace in god word .

Do I not have any faith,. At this point i am angry ,I had trusted that god would lead me in the right path and I almost got killed , did I not put my faith in the right thing .

a voice called to me . I asked god “ why us , why me. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore , Im just living , In a world that Im not welcomed in .”

A breeze came over me , blowing away the sticks that survived a waterfall , and rocky waves thats tossed it around . Turing the pages .

The fear of the LORD leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied , he will not be visited by harm.