HE WAS COLD LIKE WINTER

CHAPTER 11: SOME THINGS THAT DON’T FIT ALWAYS CAUSE A DISASTER

When Cinderella left her shoes just before the clock hits midnight, it was a beautiful disaster because that very shoe has brought her happy-ever-after. It’s a beautiful story of how love makes way despite the stops and turns. And everyone fell in love with that. But what if, something unexpected happens. What if the shoes didn’t fit on her perfectly? What if something happens the other way around? It would be probably a disaster. Then, there would be no happy-ever-after at all. Then maybe people would consider the thought that some things in life that don’t fit always cause a problem.

“Let’s do it. The one you’ve been suggesting. Let’s do it then.” Zac said with some seriousness in his voice.

“Why? Why would you do it?” I confronted him.

“You said, it’s the only way to prove that I’m on your side, right? So, let’s do it then. Be my girlfriend.” He explained.

I chuckled. “You think this is kind of a joke. No! I will not agree on this.” I strongly uttered.

I walked away and opened the door when he immediately followed me inside the house and held my hands.

“Andi, please?” Zac called out.

“Andi? Zac? What’s going on?” Dad curiously asked while seating on the couch together with Tita Beth.

Looking at how messy the table was in the living area, I sense they were busy preparing for the engagement ceremony. The more I get pissed off. So, I tried to shrug my hands out from Zac.

“Let me go!” I softly ordered as our parents were on the scene.

But the more Zac held me tight. And with the look in his eyes, I feel like he would do something wrong.

“Tito. Mom.” Zac uttered.

“Hey! What are you doing? I said drop your thoughts about it.” I murmured while my eyes bawled at him—telling him to stop.

“I’m sorry but we can’t support you in your relationship.” Zac slowly continued.

“Son, what do you mean?” Tita Beth worriedly asked.

“Andi and I. We’re together.” He answered. “We’re in a relationship.”

“Hey!” I shouted. “What are you saying?”

“What?” Dad asked.

“Dad, no. Its’ not true.” I contested.

“Son, if you’re doing this just to break off the engagement, please stop, okay? It won’t work.” Tita Beth said.

“Mom, no.” Zac insisted.

Yes! I suggested this whole crap. But I don’t want to drag him into this--putting him in the tight spot of hurting his mom. I know how much Zac loved her. It took him a lot of years just to forgive his mom—just because he thought that it was his mom’s fault for their family to be broken. He resented her because his parents failed in marriage wherein fact, it was his dad’s fault in the first place. I saw his pain and how he crumble with that every single day. Of how he battled between his resentment and how he also missed her a lot. After listening to all his stories, I know agreeing to this would break his heart. And I can’t let him feel that way. He may have rejected and hurt me but that’s not enough reason to hurt him too. There may be times that I wanted to get back to him. But, I always end up failing. At first, I don’t know why. But seeing him with those desperate looks when he told me that he’s agreeing with those “fake relationship”, now I know the reason why—I just loved him so much. I do.

“Andi, what is this? What is Zac talking about?” Dad asked me while Tita Beth asked Zac in the other room. “Is this your way of rebelling against me? I understand you walking away. You, feeling hurt. You, saying mean words. I understand all of it. But this? This is way too much, Andi.” He added as he leaves the room.

Honestly, I don’t know what to say to dad. I was flustered as everyone else. I know it was all my mistake, to begin with. But I only said those things out of anger. Actually, when I came home one day and saw Tita Beth and dad cooking something in the kitchen, I saw how happy my dad was. And while looking at them, the pain in my heart somehow melts away. I don’t know how but when I saw my dad smiling and laughing that day, I started to realize that maybe I could give them my blessing. After all, who am I to hinder my dad’s happiness? If there’s one person who would want him to be happy (except my mom), that would be me. Although our father and daughter relationship was not smooth sailing after my mom died, that doesn’t mean I don’t want him to be happy. And I know mom is agreeing with me with this. Those are her last words before she died.

***

The next morning, I woke up with a heavy heart. I know what I did was unforgivable. Just because I was hurting, I also drag the people around me with that same pain. I became insensitive and unreasonable with the outcome of my actions. And now, I don’t know how to bring back together what was broken.

“Good morning, Andi!” Nanny Fely greeted. “Breakfast is ready! Come! Take a seat.” She happily offered.

As I was walking towards the table, I was shocked not to see dad on his usual morning routine—taking a sip of his favorite coffee while reading some headlines on the newspaper and giving his warmest smile and greetings.

“Where’s dad?” I asked as I took a seat.

Looking at how Nanny Fely couldn’t answer right away, I immediately responded to her with a smile.

“I know. It’s okay.” I uttered. “Thank you for the food!”

Now, my stupid actions have left me all alone. Because of my selfishness and self-centeredness, everyone left me. I tried to hold back the tears as I was eating especially when Nanny's around. I easily wipe my tears and tried to fake a smile.

“You deserve it, Andi,” I told myself.

“I’m off for school. Bye!” I shouted as I went outside our house.

But as I get out, I stopped for a while as I saw Zac coming out of their house too. After staring for a bit, I just walked out without saying anything. And he walked a distance behind me. We were like that—walking silently, no talking, no “hi!” and “hello!”, until we reached school.

“Hey!” I shouted as I grab his hands and walked towards the garbage room where no one will see us. “What’s your deal, huh? Why did you say that to our parents? How are you so quick to agree on whatever I say? What would you get by doing this?”

I was waiting for his response but just like always, I look dumb—not hearing anything. He just stood there, shutting his mouth and giving me his usual look. He didn’t even answer any of my questions.

But even before letting the day be over, an unexpected gossip was surrounding the campus. At first, I just ignored it because I’m not the kind of person who dwells much on fake news. But, something was off. I cannot explain it directly. But my instincts tell me, it is somehow related to me. Because every time I would walk in the hallway, fellow students would stop talking and just stare at me like I’m a criminal or something.

“Ans, come here.” Cloe quickly said as she held my hands to the rooftop.

“Why? What are we doing here?” I confusingly asked.

“Have you heard the rumors spreading like a virus in the whole campus?” She worriedly asked trying to grasp her breath.

“No,” I replied looking clueless. “Why? What is it about?”

“There’s a rumor that you and Zac are in a relationship. And what’s even shocking. They said mean words against you because Zac is your stepbrother as your parents are in a relationship and are about to get married soon.” Cloe explained.

“What?” I shockingly added.

“Is that true? Are you dating him?” Cloe curiously asked.

But even before I could respond to Cloe’s questions, Amanda and his friends suddenly came as if they were lurking behind us.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Sis, relax. We’re just here to comfort you. It must have been hard to hold on with all those rumors going on inside the campus. Plus, what are sisters for, right?”

“Sisters?” I asked.

“Yes. We’re going to be sisters in the future.” Amanda uttered. “I know what the truth behind those rumors is. And if Zac and I will end up with each other, then you will be my sister-in-law then. So, it’s natural for me to comfort you in situations like this. That’s what family is all about.”

“Hey!” Cloe bickered. “Get lost.”

“Bye!” Amanda uttered.

“Are you okay?” Cloe asked. “Who could have spread the news to other people? I mean I didn’t tell anyone about it even to my mom.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like it’s not true after all.” I wavered.

“So, you and Zac are dating?” Cloe repeated.

“Yes,” I nodded. “But not for real though.”

“What do you mean?” She confusingly asked.

“It’s just to break the engagement,” I replied.

“What?” She yelled.

“Well, it was just pure suggestion of mine. I didn’t intend to do it or something. It just came out of my mouth when I was ranting at Zac the day I learned about our parents’ relationship. I didn’t expect that he will take it seriously. Then suddenly, he was challenging me about it. So, I said we should do it. We should try breaking off their engagement. I know he was just provoking me. And that brought me in this situation.” I hysterically explained.

“It's okay, Ans. You don’t have to beat yourself about it.” Cloe commented. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed a friend the most.” She added while hugging me.

Because of the aftershock that took effect because of the rumors, there were moments like I just wanted to disappear. I was suddenly reminded of when mom died. And everyone else had shown great interest in us. That’s the first time I hated being part of a well-known and rich family. I didn’t get a chance to mourn because everywhere we go, reporters followed us 24/7. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye one last time to her. That’s the reason why I wanted to stay low profile and get unnoticed. I don’t excel much at school or any extra-curricular activities. And now, because of what happened, I don’t think I’m ready to undergo the same process all over again.

But just like how time heals all wounds, it somehow vanishes the rumors spreading in the school. I didn’t expect it to be this quick. I don’t know exactly what happens or how this became possible. But I guess fate is on my side this time.

“So, you paid all of them?” Liam asked Ethan. “Oh! Amazing. You look cool.”

“Well, it’s nothing much,” Ethan commented.

“So, how did you exactly paid them? I mean you must’ve paid them greatly just to shut the rumors, right?” Liam added.

“Hey! Just be quiet. I haven’t told anyone about it yet. You’re the first one to know.” Ethan explained.

“Ethan did that?” I told myself after hearing their conversation secretly. “No wonder the rumors disappear quickly. It was all his doings.”

Ethan was always like that. Since the day we first met, I know he’s going to be a friend you can count on despite his easy-go-lucky attitude. And ever since we became friends, he never fails to put a smile on my face. That’s why I feel guilty around him. I couldn’t give back the love and attention he’s giving to me. Ethan is a good guy. And there’s no doubt about it. But as much as I want to love him, I always end up looking at him as a friend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

As I was walking after a stressful day at school, I couldn’t stop feeling guilty towards Ethan. I don’t know how to repay him not just today but all the days that he stood up for me and cheered me whenever I’m sad and lonely. All that’s left are endless sighs and anxieties.

“Dude!” Ethan shouted while waving his hands. “Wait for me!”

I turned around and saw him with those smiles. The more I feel guilty seeing him like that. I wanted to run away from him. But my mind tells me, I shouldn’t.

“Yes,” I responded.

“Are you going home?” He casually asked,

“Yes,” I answered. “You?”

“Me, too. We just finished early with our practice.” He explained. “Do you want to go somewhere?”

“Huh?” I was in awe. “Where?” But, I couldn’t say no to him.

“To our favorite Korean restaurant?” Ethan suggested.

“Sure!” I easily agreed.

But when we were about to leave, Zac came out of nowhere. I don’t know if I would feel annoyed or grateful for his sudden presence.

“Andi!” Zac called. “Let’s go home. We have a lot to study. Midterms are coming. I don’t want my grades to get drag just because of how slow you are.”

Right! I almost forgot. Things happened and Zac became my tutor. It was our teacher’s new program to help low-performing students since next year will be our last year in senior high. A turning point in our life where we should give our best both in academics and extra-curricular activities. Since after this year, we will decide what to pursue in college.

“Aren’t you going?” Zac asked with those glaring eyes on him.

“I’m coming!” I uttered. “I’m sorry, Ethan. But I’ll treat you next time. Promise!” I shouted.

***

At home.

“Where are you going?” I shockingly asked after seeing Zac entering my house casually.

“Mom texted me earlier that we’ll have dinner in your house,” Zac explained. “Plus, we have to study together, right? It should be in your house so that we have an audience. Don’t you remember our deal?”

“Yes!” You’re right! Feel at home.” I disgustedly uttered.

“You’re here.” Tita Beth greeted. “Seat down. I’m almost done preparing our dinner.”

After eating our dinner, Zac and I went to my room to do our homework together and for the tutorial lessons. I don’t know what’s running into Zac’s mind. But I feel like this is off to no good.

“Hey!” I said. “Let me ask you once it for all. Why are you doing these things? Why did you suddenly change your mind? Why would you get by breaking off their engagement? I just really don’t get it.” I asked.

“If I tell you the reason, would you say yes?” Zac asked.

“What? No! I need to hear your reason first before I will agree on anything.” I said.

“Then…” He said while motioning to zipper his mouth.

But my curiosity is killing me. I know Zac. I know he wouldn’t agree on this without a bigger reason behind it. I can’t exactly pinpoint what it is. But I have to know. And my instincts tell me, I have to. So, I left with no choice.

“Okay! Fine. It’s a yes.” I uttered. “But you tell me a very good reason, why we should do it?”

“It’s about my dad,” Zac said. “I recently reconnected with him.”

“So?” I suddenly felt sad.

“He was being chased by this gang because of not paying his debt. Judging by how they look, it’s not a simple debt. Recently when I met him, he was given the last notice. And if he won’t pay them in full, he would be in danger.” He added.

“Really? But, how is this connected with breaking off our parent’s engagement then?” I confusingly asked.

“I want to help my dad but I don’t have enough money for now. That’s why I asked grandpa’s help. But he had one condition. I have to fix my parent’s relationship.”

“What?” I shouted. “Why would he asked for that?”

“It’s probably to accumulate more shares. Mom has shares in the company. So, like my dad. If it will add up together, that would make him the largest shareholder. And you know what that means, right?” He explained.

“But that’s too impossible. Breaking their engagement isn’t easy at all. We have the first-hand experience on that, right?” I added.

“I know. But I’m not doing this to break their engagement.” He uttered.

“What? Now, everything is confusing!” I said.

“I’m doing this to buy some time. If we could just delay their engagement, I could save my dad without sacrificing my mom’s happiness.” He said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“After turning 18 this year, I can now use my savings given to me by my grandpa before he left for good. My other grandpa. Mom’s dad. But I can only use it the way I want a month from now. It was part of the rules in the last will.” He added.

“So, if you have the money, why would you asked a favor to your other grandpa?” I asked.

“The money that I can get with my savings is not enough. I can only use half of it. It was also part of the rules.” He explained further.

“Okay, I get it,” I said. “So, you needed your grandpa’s help for the other half of the amount right?”

He nodded.

“But something’s not right. I mean why would buying some time help you save both of them?” I asked.

“Grandpa doesn’t know that I only needed half of the money I asked of him. And he’ll be giving that amount to me a week from now as partial payment of what we agreed on. He’ll be giving the full amount after my parents are back together. I needed some time to delay their engagement until I can get the other half of the money. By then, I could pay off my dad’s debt and help him start a new life.”

“Okay. Now, I know why you suddenly agreeing on this. I know you wouldn’t do this without a reason.” I said. “But, why won’t you tell this to your mom first? I mean, she would probably help you to delay the engagement.”

“I wanted to. Many times. But I can’t.” He said. “Grandpa’s rule is not to tell anyone about it. Not even to my mom. Nor to my dad.”

“I’m sorry.” I suddenly uttered out of the blue.

“For what?” He asked.

“For everything,” I answered. “I didn’t know you have a lot on your shoulders, right now. Instead of helping you, all I did was pestering you with my selfishness.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault that my dad couldn’t pay his debt. Nor it’s not your fault that he was being chased like that.” He commented.

“Let’s do it then.” I blurted out. “Let’s delay their engagement,” I added while extending my hands for a handshake.

Then we begin our plan—“Operation Delay the Engagement”. Honestly, I don’t know if this would work. But we have to try. I must try. I need to help Zac. After all, I’m his friend. His best friend. It’s the least of the things I can do for him.

Part of the plan is to act romantically only at home. Playing this act even to school would surely cause chaos. That’s what I imagined before coming up with the plan. Luckily, Zac easily agreed on everything I suggested. I guess he was just so desperate for this plan to succeed. Part of our activity includes holding hands going in and out of the house when our parents are present. Acting like a coy at the dining table. Smiling at each other. Laughing during tutorial lessons. And probably anything that would be needed for the situation except kissing.

Well, everything goes smoothly as plan. At first, our parents were in utter shock. They thought we’re just playing around. They even confronted both of us because of our actions. But we’re determined with our goal. We didn’t get swayed. Despite their disapproval, we continue our play.

“Let’s stop here,” I said as soon as we reached far from home. “We don’t need to hold hands anymore. They won’t see us.”

“Okay.” He simply uttered.

***

 At home.

I came home late after studying a lot in the library because of the upcoming midterm exam.

“I’m home!” I voiced out.

But now one’s around. I couldn’t see my dad nor Tita Beth. Usually, by this time they’re talking while having tea before bed in the living room. I looked for them in the kitchen but they’re not there. AS I was about to go up into my room, I heard someone talking. I followed the voice and it landed me in my dad’s room.

“We have to postpone the engagement ceremony.” Tita Beth suggested.

“Why?” Dad asked.

“We have to talk to the kids first. We need to settle what would be the best for the four of us. These past few days, I just realize that I became too selfish to my son. I mean if he likes Andi. If he really does, I don’t want to be a hindrance to his happiness. I don’t how this would work. But we have to talk to them first. We should hear them out.” Tita Beth explained.

I couldn’t hide my happiness and excitement after hearing my dad and Tita Beth’s conversation that I immediately called Zac about it. I didn’t expect them to fall with our acts. Well, I guess it was really believable in the first place.

But just when everything goes smoothly, something unexpected happens. Just when Zac was about to hand the money to pay off his dad’s debt, the police came. Yes, the gang was being imprisoned. But including his dad, too. It was found out that his dad was also part of the gang. A group engaged in illegal activities. His debt was not because he owed money to them but it was a payment once you wanted to leave the group. His dad lied to him.

But Zac being a loving son to his father couldn’t just ignore his dad and left him being imprisoned. Despite his bad doings, his dad will always be his dad. And nothing can easily change that.

I wanted to comfort him. But just how things happen quickly and how our parents get to know this, dad apprehended me in going to the police station where Zac’s dad was being detained.

“Let’s go home. His mom will go with him. He won’t be alone.” Dad said.

I couldn’t sleep no matter how much I close my eyes. I guess I just worried about Zac. I know how much he loved his dad. And it would be so painful to see your dad or mom being cuffed and drag into the police station.

I stood up and went outside my room. I went to the kitchen and drink some water to calm myself when I heard a car arrived. I went outside our house and saw Zac getting out of the cab.

“You’re here,” I said. “Where’s your mom?”

“I just want to be alone.” He uttered as he turned his back on me.

“Are you okay?” I asked carelessly even if I know he wasn’t after looking at his distressed face.

I held his hands with the look of its-okay-you-can-cry-on-me. But he immediately avoided me. I don’t know what’s wrong. But he suddenly blurted out something.

“Seriously? Are you asking me that?” He was obviously pissed off. “I can’t believe you would betray me like this.”

“What? What do you mean?” I confusingly asked.

“I asked the police who reported the incident. They said it was a girl. Probably around my age. You’re the only one who knew we’re meeting at that place at that time. How could you do this?” He ranted. “Just leave me alone. Get out. Get out of my life!” He shouted.

I wanted to explain myself but I did not. I just walked away without telling him my side of the story. I was hurt by his mean words. Then a thought came to mind while I was crying and lying on my bed. It reminded me of how many times Zac and I fought. Even if most of our fights are rooted in misunderstanding, it cannot be denied that we still argue a lot. Maybe because we’re not compatible with each other. No matter how much we end up fixing those misunderstandings, still we hurt each other with those painful words. I wonder why these things happen. But now I know why because in the first place, things that don’t fit always cause a problem. That’s what we are—unfit for each other.