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1134 Words
“Why is it not polite? I think it’s cute, it’s an adorable little butt face mark thingy. Little nerdy butt on your face only it doesn’t poop so that’s a bonus”
“Well thank the heavens for that! Imagine it talked as much shite as you do when you drink, your mouth does enough pooping for us both”
I gasp,
“Are you trying to say that my breath smells like poop? Because I don’t think it does, look smell for yourself”
I lean over so my face is in front of his and I blow in his face
“Ewe get your breath out of my face Katy”
He pushes the palm of his hand into my face and he shoves me back to my side of the car
“Ewe I don’t know where those hands have been!”
“They have been serving you drinks all night!”
“Yeah, but did you touch the peanuts?”
I snap back, he screws up his nose looking at me
“What peanuts?”
“The peanuts that’s on the bar! Do you know how many germs are in them, probably full of poop particles and everything, ohhhh my gosh”
I gasp grabbing his arm
“I wonder if all the Poop particles caused your face butt”
He snorts shaking his head
“You're like the most offensive drunk person I've ever met!”
“Oh you should hear karma, she’s like a skunk stinking the place out with her bad manners”
“What the f**k, your so weird, where do you even come up with this stuff”
I shrug
“I just think alcohol makes me smart don’t you”
He throws his head back laughing at me as I sag against the chair, my brain was overflowing with so much information I just couldn’t keep up.
“Ok we are here”
I look out and groan
“You took me home? I thought we were going out”
“No definitely not, come on I’ll walk you up”
I pout looking for the door handle, it magically disappears so I groan falling back on the seat
“I can’t”
He looks at me
“You can’t what?”
“God stole the door-opening thing, he wants me to stay here forever”
I huff, crossing my arms over my chest as he climbs out, coming to my side. He opens the door and I gasp
“Holy s**t you figured it out, are you Jesus dressed like a nerd?”
“No I'm not, get your a*s out I’m tired”
I pout, climbing from the car but my knees give out from under me and I fall like a sack of potatoes
“Oops”
He giggles at me as he bends over, grabs my waist and throws me over his shoulder
“Woaw I’m flying, I’m like superwoman”
“If superwoman couldn’t figure out how to walk maybe”
I slap his booty, it’s very round for a males butt so I slap it again,
“Your butt is very round, do you squat?”
“What? No, I don’t squat!”
“Well then what is your secret, you have a great butt, it even bounces”
I slap it again
“You know I could sue you for that right?”
“For what? I just said your butt looks good, but fine if you don’t want to talk about that let’s talk about your legs, they are unusually short for being so tall. How does that work”
He groans as he climbs the stairs to my door
“I don’t know how it works it’s just how I was born”
“See that’s why you have a big butt, to make up for all that extra leg room you’ve got. A cheek to a chair but at least the person in front of you can have their chair back and it wouldn’t bother you”
He knocks on the door a few times
“Why are we knocking? Just walk on in short legs”
“You're really rude when you're drunk, I did tell you that right?”
I shrug
“I don’t know, your very forgetful tonight you know”
The door opens so I try to look up and see who answered it
“Hello I’m just returning this, the label says she lives here”
I snort and laugh slapping his butt again
“Now that was funny”
I giggle
“Thank you joe, you can drop her at the door I’m sure someone will come looking for her eventually”
Dad says making me giggle harder
“Good enough for me, try not to lose it again, she's a real pain in the a*s, literally she keeps slapping my a*s, I would say it’s assault but she's just too darn cute to charge her”
“Aww you think I’m cute, coming from someone who has 2 adorable butts that is super sweet”
Suddenly I’m falling in the air, I squeak as I land on my butt
“Hi you dropped me”
“Don’t worry I knew you would bounce you have plenty of padding on your backside”
I gasp grabbing my butt
“Excuse me are you calling me fat”
“No, I wouldn’t dream of it princess, goodnight Carter King Cain, have a good one”
He salutes dad grinning at him
“Later joe and thanks for returning it”
I look up at daddy and grin sweetly. He snorts, shaking his head as he closes the door.
“I remember not that long ago I carried you to bed”
“Oh that’s good because I don’t remember that atol”
He chuckles, reaching down and scooping me up. I sigh resting my head on his chest.
“Daddy?”
“Katy?”
“Why do I have bad dreams?”
He frowns at me
“What dreams?”
“The ones where he cheats on me, the ones that make me feel like I’m not good enough”
He pauses
“You have those dreams?”
“Every night, when I drink they disappear so I drink a lot”
“Yeah I've noticed”
He ponders as he carries me down the stairs to my room, places me on my bed and pulls my boots off my feet.
“I love you, daddy”
I whisper, rolling into a ball and hugging my pillow, he kisses my head
“I love you too, sweet dreams”
He turns the light off and leaves as my eyelids slowly shut.
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- Writer
