I Was His Double, I Left Him Forever

When I was eighteen, I coaxed the neighbor seven years older than me into sleeping with me for the first time. Drunk and disoriented by desire. Again and again beneath him, I confessed my love. In the height of passion, the man sighed hoarsely against my ear, "Looks like I've fallen for you again." At the time, I paid no mind to that word 'again'. After that, we fell in love and got married just as you'd expect, no fuss or drama. For ten years, he doted on me like I was his most precious treasure, treating me like I was made of glass. Until I found a photograph in his study drawer, of a woman who bore a striking, near-identical resemblance to me. Only then did I realize I had been nothing but a stand-in all along. I did not cry, nor did I confront him. I quietly had our child aborted. I dragged my suitcase and boarded a late-night flight out of the city. When I took the divorce agreement from the delivery worker, Gino just pushed the door open and walked in. I froze in a moment of panic. Subconsciously, I set the divorce papers in my hand down on the table. Before I could even turn around, the man wrapped me in his arms from behind. Gino buried his face in the crook of my neck, nuzzling me gently, his hand resting softly on my lower abdomen. "Has the baby been good while I was gone these past few days?" I stiffened slightly. A bitter laugh rose in my chest. 'Baby? There was no baby anymore.' Without answering his question, I gently pulled away from his hold. "You said you'd bring me a gift when you came back from your business trip. Where is it?" A flicker of panic crossed his eyes, "I..." Another bitter laugh welled up inside me. I knew full well what the answer was, yet I'd humiliated myself by asking anyway. 'How pathetic.' His so-called business trip was nothing but an excuse. All those days, he had been with Maureen, his first love. He thought he had hidden it perfectly, never knowing his beloved had already flaunted their affair right in front of me. Two days prior, I had suddenly received ninety-nine intimate photos. Each one was taken in a different position. And the man in them was none other than the one I had loved for so many years, standing right in front of me. That same day, without a moment's hesitation, I went straight to the hospital to abort the child we had both been looking forward to for so long. When a baby isn't wanted and loved by both parents, there's no point in bringing him into the world. At the thought, my heart turned even colder. I flipped open the agreement, hiding its contents, and handed it to him, pointing to the signature line. "Gino." He lifted his head abruptly, his gaze locking onto mine. Of course, he was surprised. All these years together, I had always called him Husband sweetly. Only when I was angry would I call him by his full name so formally. Gino's voice was tinged with helplessness and panic. "Babe, don't be mad. I really was too busy and forgot. I'll make it up to you tonight. I'd even pluck the stars and the moon from the sky for you if you want them." "I'm not mad. This is the gift I want. Just sign your name here." He let out a breath of relief, took the pen, and signed his name quickly. I stared blankly for a moment. I put the agreement away and asked him, "You didn't even glance at what was in it before signing? Aren't you afraid I'll make you sign away everything you own?" "No, I'm not. The only thing I'm afraid of is losing you. Nothing else scares me." He smiled gently, as he always did when he used to coax me, and lifted his hand to pat my head. Only this time, I leaned away. His hand hung frozen in midair. "Patricia—" He'd barely gotten the words out when a sickly-sweet ringtone cut him off. "Hubby dearest, answer the phone… Hubby dearest, hurry up and answer the phone…" He pulled his hand back, shooting a quick look at my face to gauge my reaction, while fumbling to turn off the ringtone in a panic. Though he hung up very quickly, I still caught a glimpse of the contact name: Maureen. "Baby, I didn't set this ringtone. It's... it's this client, she's such a hassle. She has this ringtone set for everyone she contacts." He did his best to keep his tone steady as he explained. 'What a lame excuse.' But I didn't even have the strength to question him. Seeing that my expression remained unchanged, he grabbed my hand without waiting for me to say anything. "Let's eat out today. I made a reservation at a really great restaurant." I hadn't even gotten a word out. The next moment, his phone lit up again. When Gino saw the screen, his face changed drastically. He let go of me and turned to leave in large strides. He had only taken two steps when he remembered I was still standing right where I was. He spun around abruptly to look at me. "Patricia, there's a sudden emergency at the company. I might not come back tonight. Make sure you eat well and take good care of yourself. Wait for me to get back." With that, he left straight away without looking back. Watching his unhesitating, unfeeling back, my heart tightened uncontrollably. Waves of pain also surged up in my abdomen. Cold sweat broke out all over my body instantly, and I crumpled to the ground, humiliated. Tears welled up at the corners of my eyes. 'Baby, are you blaming me?' 'But bringing you into this world would be the truly irresponsible thing to do to you.'