The Alpha's Heart

I wasn't an ordinary she-wolf. This thought crosses my mind every so often, other pack members uttered such a thing to me as well as they walked past me. Whispered words that used to sting but didn't anymore; 'Freak.' 'Lowly she-wolf thinking she can be better than the other she-wolves.' 'How dare she aim above her role in the pack.' It wasn't that I was trying to be different, it was just who I was; how I am. I was adopted, or really, found in the forest when I was just a pup. The couple who were to become my parents were scouting the borders of their pack, our pack, New Moon, when they stumbled upon me. They told me I had been stumbling around in the night, crying out for help, in wolf form. They mistook me for a regular wolf pup at first, because it was extremely rare, and dangerous, for a werewolf to transform before puberty. But as they ventured closer, they said they could smell that I was, in fact, a werewolf pup. They knew something bad had to have happened to me, some form of trauma to have made me transform so young. Fearing danger, the woman, my mother, scooped me up in her arms and they hurried back to the pack. No amount of searching gave them answers as to where I had come from. The Alpha allowed them to adopt me, since the couple apparently couldn't have children of their own, another thing people whispered about. 'Barren she-wolf. What good is a she-wolf that can't breed.' The things they spat out about my mother made me sick. I didn't transform back until a few days later. I was only five years old and I haven't stopped transforming since. "Bella! Bella are you listening to me?!" A familiar voice breaks through my thoughts. I shake my head and look around, only to get smacked in the side of the head with a training staff. "Fu…! Ow! You grumpy old.." I huffed, taking a step back only to get tripped up by said training staff. The man holding it let out a gruff laugh as I barely managed to recover from my attempted tripping, barely keeping myself on my feet. "That's what you get for day dreaming again, pup." The man's honey colored eyes shone with amusement and annoyance as I struck out with my own staff, catching him at his abdomen. "Oof. Great shot, but you still need to pay more attention. This day dreaming isn't going to look good if others catch you doing it. Especially tomorrow." I understood what he was saying to me, but annoyance still rang through me at his words. Why should I ever care about what my fellow pack members thought of me. With a grind of my teeth, I replied, "Dad, I don't think their view of me could get any lower at this point." Which was why tomorrow mattered so much. It was a chance to be chosen by a new pack, to leave the hate behind, go somewhere that chose me. Shame rang through me at the thought, but I wanted to leave the pack, badly. "I know tomorrow matters. I know. Trust me.." I drift off, looking over at the others who were training, catching their amused looks at me being scolded by my father. My father's hand was suddenly cupping my chin then, turning my head to face him. I could see pride there, but also sadness. He had been training me for months, ever since the main pack trainer became annoyed with my unwillingness to fight the way he wanted. His way was about defending the males more than myself; why should the males matter more than the females?! So my father took up my training, knowing how much the ceremony meant to me. "Your mother and I.." His voice cracked, but he cleared his throat and continued, "We are so proud of you. Even though we will miss you." He paused and ran his hands through his straight blonde hair. He looked away from me then, as if he himself was lost in thought. I wanted to reach out and hug him, but if I did that, I would surely break and the tears would flow. The tears I was just barely pushing away. Instead, I gave his calf a tap with the staff I was still holding and smiled wide to cheer him up. He was the one who never limited me, he never pushed me down and made me feel less than, even though he was the pack's Delta, third ranked in the pack. It wasn't his job to train lowly she-wolves, yet here he was, because he loved me. "I will come to visit, you know," I state boldly, though we both knew I might not be able to, depending on which pack chose me as one of their hunters. "There's still a chance that no one will choose me, dad." A low growl escapes my throat as my wolf disagrees with me, which causes my father to chuckle. "It seems your wolf doesn't agree with you, dear. And I don't agree either. Our pack may not see your greatness now, but your mother and I both know you're destined for more." My father motions for us to put away our staves, it would be time for dinner soon and being late would mean and upset mom waiting at home. I was itching for a run, but it would have to wait until later. "Now let's get home before your mother comes looking."