Life

struggle

I was just a kid in a happy family with 4 kids.Two girls two boys everything seemed all right There was more laughter and happiness during my presence.We used to sit around the fire at night and my father telling us ancient stories.We would laugh a lot and went to bed late.It felt so right and happiness would walk with us everywhere we go.We were taught manners and to always respect others.I stayed with my parents while I was at primary school. During my grade 8 year I moved to stay with my grandmother at a neighboring village. I stayed with her the whole year and went to visit my parents during holidays. Everything seemed perfect and I would have missed them a lot by the times of holidays.

The following year I was at grade 9 and my grandmother got sick.She ended passing over.That breaks my heart into million pieces. She was my closest person by that time.It was hard for me to accept and it interfere into my studies. My marks dropped so my parents took me back home with them.I couldn't change school in the middle of the year so they got me a transport to get me to School. I finished the year and luckily I passed well.During December we celebrated as usual.My mom would bake some scones and I would help her.Even though she would shout at me saying I am not doing it right I couldn't go away from her.I enjoyed spending time with her in such a way she became my best friend. And my two little brothers naughty as always would drive my mother crazy.But that's the business for another day.We spent our holidays so good and had great time together as family.

It was January and my parents decided it was best for me not to swap school's so I had to go back to my previous school. By that time I was in grade 10.I was happy and so excited as I was about to chose my stream of subjects. I went to school during the first day and I was happy. I enjoyed a lot my streams I chose and I loved school even more.Then on March there was an outbreak of Corona virus so we were forced to stay out of school. our movements were also prohibited. We were not allowed to move around.We were not even allowed to burry our relatives who has passed away.I stayed at home but I was so bored and i missed school a lot.I didn't had a choice you were even arrested if you move around unnecessary. We as students we stayed home without being educated as communication networks are poor in rural areas.

It was during the mid year when my father changed into a monster I don't know. He became violent and would even promise my mother to kill us all and kill himself too.He would chase us with a knife or a lasher and we became the world laughing stock.That kept going for a long time .Every time he would came home drunk he would shout and breaks plates and dishes.I always cries everyday not knowing what to do.Everyday of our lives were violent and there was nothing to enjoy in our lives.What breaked my heart is seeing my mom pretending to be fine just to be strong for us.We were visited everyday and called names but still we had to stay as we didn't know where to go.It became normal to us knowing that every time he came home there will be no more piece.Sometimes we would sleep early to avoid him and he would come back and would wake us up.It damaged me emotionally and I lost something called love and I lost the bond I had with my father.Even though I was still calling him father I knew I lost that bond already. I hated him and even my little brothers hated him so no one in the house was with him.He would shout for useless things.If the food was finished he would blame my mother.They were both working at the same job but only my mother would bought food while his money was for liquor and drugs.We were only happy during afternoon when he is not at home.He spent his days at tarvens getting drunk.

It was during winter time i had a fever and I passed it to my mother. My mother and I was sitting chating as usual and he came home in the afternoon.I was coughing and he got angry and shouted at me telling me that I am like my mother I don't exercise I will die young with her.I said nothing so he shouted at my mother telling her he wants to kill her.He went near a toilet and grap a piece of broken glass.He wanted to stab my mother with it so I had to stood up to him I grabbed him back.My mother ran and I ran after her The village people stood by to see what was happening. He went to sleep and my mother and I came to stood at the gate to wait for my little brothers as they were out playing and weren't aware of the situation at home.They came back and we went inside the house and pack our clothes wich we can carry with our school bags.By that tim he was fast asleep as he was drunk.At 11 midnight we leaved as we didn't want him to wake up and found us there.We went and stayed at the road as we were afraid to get to the road as it was dark.The rain pours and we became cold as it was even winter but I had to be strong too for my little brothers and for my mom.During 5 we hit the road as it was not so dark.We arrived at my grandmother house in the morning. We stayed there my little brothers changed school and I continued my school. I finished my grade 10 exams as we returned to school after Corona lock down.

I passed to grade 11 and I studied hard.Even though I had the trauma I told myself I can't give up on my dreams for my mother. She supported me throughout all my studies. She became my best friend even more.She shared her problems with me and I was young but I showed her support. Everything was fine and I passed my grade 11 so well and my brothers passed too.During holidays we celebrated as usual.My mother encouraged me to start reading so that when school opens I will be forward with my studies. I read my books and dedicated myself in my studies.

On 2022 I was a matriculant. I was happy and excited and the feeling of being in grade 12 was the best.As you know in grade 12 students are made t shirts with their names but they have to pay for it.I didn't had money so I couldn't afford one.My mother was sacrificing a lot so that I could attend extra classes for extra knowledge. She paid for me those classes. At first it was better as I was still receiving my children grant bit by June it stopped. Things got difficult by that time as she had to use the money for food to pay for my studies. She didn't give up on me she continued paying and used my brothers pocket money for my studies. When. I swa that I promised myself to make her proud one day.I worked hard and focused on my studies. What caused me more pain was seeing my brothers going to school without pocket money and coming back home without eating anything. There were days were we would come back home and found out there was nothing to eat.All those things gave me strength and encouraged me to work hard.All struggles and poverty were like my pillar of strength. I wrote my matric and I passed with flying colours. With all I have gone through I cannot give up without making my mother proud