JENNA II
1899 Words
Ah, still the remember about the details of that day!
Urgh, how embarrassing!
Well, let me start,
On when, the guy I used to like,
Turned out to be a devil!
After the talk with my dad last night, I cannot sleep on the previous night. On that sleepless night, ugh!
Let me tell you, every time I wanted to dream, Adam came into it! And it will always be that naked kind of dream!
It not like I did not like that, but...Wait, what did I thinking about?!
ARGH!!
Today!! Today, I will tell him!
Ah, now what to do? I cannot sleep, neither watch TV. It might be too loud, and dad might awake from the sounds.
Maybe I should search for something about falling in love with the same gender...
I grabbed my phone and started to search for any words related to my problem.
Fall in love with the same gender...
Gay
Is it possible straight guy to love another guy?
Practise s*x with same-gender...
WAIT! WHY s*x?!
I cleared the last things that I searched and then proceeded to read the articles before it. Some were supported with facts and number, while some were only using opinions and based on their experience. I think I am going to read the one with expertise.
Well, just because...experiences speak louder than numbers, right?
I clicked on the article.
Why I choose this life and How Did it happen?
This one looks promising.
'I still remember the first time when I came out about being gay. Those eyes, looking disgusted, from my friends, family. I feel bad about it too, but what can I do? It is Me. I felt disgusted with myself, yet it is my body, my feeling, my sane. Is it too much to ask, to be me, freely claim my crown?'
Poor this guy. He must have been through a lot, just by reading his story.
'But it was all in the past, just a dark chapter, that I will never open it up again. I managed to get the hang of this kind of life, and luckily I found the community that willing to accept me, without being judge. I finally found my home. And with this, I want to be like this, forever, with the one I choose.'
That was a good read, but I did not get a clear vision about how someone can be gay.
Oh, I almost skipped this part.
'All of this happened, when I was in the hotel, helping a young guy. To be honest, I wasn't a friendly person, but I choose to help anyway. But, it turns out to be the sinful event I had ever done. The guy...he kissed me in the chamber. I tried to push him, but deep down, I'm enjoying it. And after that, we both commit sins together. He pushed me against the wall, at the staircase, level 14, if I'm not mistaken. He pinned me while kissing me aggressively while I tried to catch my breath, from the passionate kiss. I knew it was wrong, but deep down, it arouses my sensual tension. He then started to move his hands between my thighs, and somehow, I can feel the heat. As he began to move his hands upward, I can felt something hard in my pants started to make my zip tight. I tried to close the gap between my legs, but his finger trailed my pants, making it hard to resist it.'
This...is...HOT?!
How can they release something like this, publicly?
Need to continue this.
'He continued kissing me, and his hands finally stopped, when it reaches to my zipper area. He stopped kissing me and locked his eyes into mine. When he looked at my face, which already looked defeated, he continued to kiss, and his hands finally caressed at my zipper area. I had a mixed feeling between pleasure and guilt, but I didn't stop him.'
I gulped. Somehow, I too felt hard.
"will this happened, if Adam and I..."
Get hold of yourself, Alan!
I should continue.
'I should stop talking about that event.'
Ah, bummer.
'Alas, I think, that event was at fault, as it was the reason why I choose this kind of life. But, no, unfortunately. When it happened, I had a choice, whether to push him, or report him, but I did neither. Instead, I embraced it, because apart of my soul, was begging to release itself, finally got loose on that event. I choose that life, no one forcing it. And, if you too, if you are unsure about yourself, please, whatever come to your mind first, pick it, because the first thing that always comes across your thought is something you desire the most.'
-K
That...was a moving quote. Maybe it comes to the writer's real feelings, about being different in society?
If I was different, like him...do I, can I endure it as he did?
I off my phone, and prepared to take a power nap.
*RINGGGG!!!!*
Oh, man! It was already time for school. Great.
And it was the time to tell Adam about it...
"Dad, I'm off to school."
I walked downstairs to meet my dad, just to hug him and left. To be honest, I left earlier this morning, because I did not want my dad to ask me much question. More importantly, about last night.
I took the bus today. I waited at the nearest bus stop with my house, as I already memorized, which bus that drives me to school. That morning was quite chilly, lucky for me, I wore my favourite red sweater, matching it up with a black plain t-shirt. I just realized that, besides me, was a girl, seems like my age. I was pretty sure I met her somewhere. She turned to look at me.
Was she noticed that I was staring at her? Was I stare for too long?
"Alan, is it?"
Suddenly the girl asked.
How did she know my name?
"Ye-yeah. Do we know somewhere? Cause my memory was pretty vague."
She giggled.
"We're classmate, silly. My name is Jenna."
Jenna extended her hand to shake. I took her hand and shake. She is pretty, like really, beautiful, I tell you. Her hair is brunette, suits her fair skin, which makes it more noticeable. She has one that people called, the symbol of beauty, below her lips, which makes her attractive even more, in a certain way. I felt my face was burning, so I dodged her eyes.
"Why? Is it something on my face?"
Jenna asked as she moved closer to me.
Dang! Something is hard here.
"Ah, n-no. It is nothing. Just wants to watch the morning view around."
LOL, Alan.
Jenna laughed as she thought it was cute for me to be like that. Afterwards, I joined her too, and we both continued to laugh. My laugh stopped when I heard the sounds of motor's engine approached us, and the rider who rides it. He parked his bike, two metres away from us, at the stop.
Adam!
Shoot, what should I do? Should I ask him? But Jenna is still here, she might think that I was not straight!
Jenna looked at me, who was glared at Adam. She then touched me by the shoulder, to call me.
"Alan? Are you okay?"
I remembered that I did not hear her called me, as my mind was too busy, thinking about what to say to Adam. Though I thought he likely be wearing his devilish, seductive smile when he saw me, he did not. Instead, he glared at me, with most hostile eyes that I ever saw he did. Well, it was the first time, actually.
"H-hey Adam..."
I tried to greet him, but he quickly left the scene, making both Jenna and I wondered why. I do think a lot about it, but the bus was already there. We both took the bus and sat, though my mind was still wandering on the incident earlier.
What the heck was that?
I never got the answer though we already reached to the school. Jenna and I walked to our class and waited for the bell to ring. I still felt weird about Adam's behaviour, so I decided to search for him beforehand.
"Jenna, can you go to class first? I have to do something."
Jenna nodded and entered the school. I swiftly moved my pace faster, to search Adam.
Hurm, where could he be?
Okay, maybe lets tried to think like, where the bad boy usually hangout, in school?
Oh, they usually need a spot to smoke.
Hmm, Adam smokes? It might be hot.
Stop, Alan! Stop!
Suddenly, I heard a loud voice of people, laughing and talking noisily, behind the school's sports warehouse. I hid behind the wall to see if Adam was there or not. Yeah, he was there with, maybe the rebel in this school? I do not know.
"Wow, Adam! Gone wild before class! You smoked too much! Had a girl wreck your heart earlier?"
All the gang was laughing as the one particular guy talked about Adam. Adam somehow looked mad and enraged. The other guy continued to laugh and make fun of him. The next thing happened shocked me. Adam grabbed the guy's collar and ready to beat him up.
"Say one more word, if you want your face crashed."
Suddenly, it was a deafening silence. Neither of the guys laughed nor talked. Adam was ready to left them. I hid behind the tall trees around as he walked into my direction. As soon as I did not saw him anymore, I walked out from my hiding place and hurried to class.
I shall ask him after school.
I thought he was moody for a moment, but it was dragged until the end of the school. When he was beside me, we did not talk much, and he never looked at my direction. Sometimes, he just left the class, though teachers were still teaching. Until the school finally has done, I quickly looked for him again. Suddenly, someone pulled my hoodie.
"Alan, where are you want to go?"
Jenna asked, looked worried.
"Um, looking for someone...why?"
She looked concerned like she knows about something.
"Well, let me help you find the person."
I was about to refuse, but Jenna already stops me.
"Whether you want me or not, I will follow you."
I cannot argue, as she was the first, and real, friend that I had, beside Adam, though are we really friends? I nodded and told her that I was looking for Adam. She looked surprised but did not say anything afterwards. We both walked at the same spot, where Adam hanged out earlier. And yeah, he was there. Even his back looks gorgeous, ugh! This time, he was alone. I quickly walked to him, leaving Jenna behind. As I was almost reached there, Adam suddenly turned around. His expression changed immediately, relaxed to surprise.
"Adam, I need to ask something."
Adam leans to his bike while watching me. I swear, I saw his smile, but it faded when Jenna stood beside me.
"What do you want, punk?"
His voice was filled with rage and anger.
"Um, yesterday, as you know, do you want to tell me something, o-or maybe, you want to um,"
He looked like he wanted to confess, but suddenly, his gang appeared behind him.
"What we get here? Since when you friend with the weak, Adam? Though that girl was exceptional."
We both stood there in silence, but suddenly Adam stood up and walked closer to me. His face was literally only a few millimetres from mine.
"Yeah, I want to tell you something. Listen closely."
My heart was racing.
"I.Dont.Like.You. I'm just playing with you, never thought that you're gay."
He laughed, and so did his gang. Somehow, my body was burning inside, with anger. And rage. It was humiliating, but I did not want to look weak.
I grabbed Jenna.
And, I regretted doing it.
I kissed her!
- Writer
