100 Days and I Still Love You!

JENNA III

I know, I know!

I really want to forget about that too, but-!

Let me continue.

I tell you, after the unintentional kiss, I was prepared to be slapped by Jenna, but, it never happened. Instead, she wrapped me in her arms, and returned my kiss, passionately. Though I was shocked, my body reacted simultaneously, with the release of romance chemical. I kissed her while the others were watching. I still remembered Adam's face, shocked, but sad. He was the only one who kept staring at us while his gang was about to dismiss us.

"Can you lovebirds get your own space away? This is our spot. Get lost, wimp!"

Jenna finally pulled herself back and looked into my eyes, so did I. I took her hand and left the scene, without looking back to Adam, though I saw him still in the shock state. I promised that was the last time I wanted to look at him.

I HATE HIM!

I kept walking, just keep walking, to where my legs lead me to. Jenna huff and puff behind my back, trying to catch her breath as she wanted to keep up with my pace.

"Alan, wait! Not too fast!"

Jenna stopped me as she nailed her feet onto the ground, which made me stood. Then, I did realize how tight my grip was when I held her.

"Oh, sorry, Jenna. I didn't mean to-"

I thought Jenna will get mad or angry, or start to slap me, but all she did was comfort me.

"Alan, are you okay? Do...you and Adam have something?"

"Shut up!"

I yelled at her, but then I realized she was just asking, concerning about me.

"S-sorry Jenna, I..."

I thought she might start to cry or walked away, but instead, she hugged me. She patted my head, assuring that I was okay.

"Alan, you're a kind guy. You shouldn't associate with him. You know better, didn't you?"

I buried my face in her chest. My tears started to fall. 

Jenna did not understand me...

"It-it is not simple...you wouldn't understand..."

She kept stroking my hair, comforting me, but in the end, I cried even more. Though her words, her voices were soothing, sadly, I did not find it can calm my heart. It ached so much. Maybe, it is the first time I was fall in love.

And it was my first time my heart aches this much.

We both hugged, lost in time, as Jenna still tried to calm me down. I did not know for how long we stay like that, but it is better if the world stops rotating for a minute. 

"Are you okay?"

Jenna handed me a bottle of mineral water after she thought that I was already calmed down. We decided to stay at the nearest park before we returned home. My eyes still looked red and swollen from the cry.

Ugh, embarrassing!

"Yeah, thanks. And, sorry you had to see that...and sorry for kissing you, without your consent. Seriously, I'm sorry."

Though it was an unintentional kiss, and she kind of enjoyed it, I still needed to apologize as I was the one who started it. She just laughed it out. Then, we sat there in silence. None of us tried to start any conversation.

"I-"

"May-"

We both turned around to face each other, and both of us tried to talk but ended interrupted each other. Feeling funny, we both laughed.

"You first."

Jenna instructed me to start first. 

I felt a little bit scared to share, but it seems that I can trust her. I stared at the ground before starting my question.

"Um, do you, like, okay to befriend with someone who didn't know their s****l preferences?"

I waited for her response, with an anxious feeling. She did not reply, so I thought she might felt disgusted with me, but as I turned to her, she looked like she was thinking about something.

"Well, depends. Why?"

Her short response made me wanted to talk more, almost like she was willing to listen more.

"Um, I...might be the one of that kind. Like, maybe, I, myself still wanted to discover, my preferences. Like, you know, tried, to whom I attracted more. Since I am still young, why not risk, right?"

Jenna stared at me with a knowing look. I think she knows something.

"So, you thought that you might fall in love with Adam, right? But why him?"

I startled, but, is it obvious, is it? 

"May-maybe because he was the one who talked to me, during my first class. Plus, only Adam that spoke to me after school and offered me a ride to my house. But of course, we didn't go straight to my house but visited the hill, near to my house. And that is when it kinda happened, I think?"

I stopped. My face was burning red, but my heart ached too much. Jenna noticed it, so she did not push me to continue. Despite the pain, I continued anyway.

"We both talked, on the hill, for a couple of minutes. And after that, he asked something, something like, um, to me, it kinda flirtatious, but, as I said, it was only my assumption. Maybe it is true, he just wanted to play. I was too dumb to believe him."

I was on the verge of tears, but Jenna patted me.

"You know, you were never at fault, to believe it. I mean, we're young, so maybe we didn't understand it fully right now. But trust me, when we grew up, and fully understand about life, especially about ourselves, at that time, maybe we understand, about what happened today." 

Jenna held my hands tightly.

"You, and I. We both were still young to decide. Don't rush everything today. Take your time, don't rush, I'm sure everything will be fine later."

Her hands felt warm and comforting. Somehow, I felt ease again. I moved closer to her, and she did not mind either.

"You know, maybe you're right. I don't need to rush. Perhaps, today might be the first step for me to take the risk and discover a new thing."

I took her hand and moved my face closer.

"Jenna Finkin, will you be my girlfriend?"

She nodded, and afterwards, we shared our actual kiss, the consent one, where both of us wanted to, on that day. Somehow, deep in my heart, it felt off, but this is the path that I chose. No more turning back. 

I know, I feel something else, but I choose to ignore it.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

I asked Jenna while we were holding hand on our walk. On the same day, we already acted like we were dated for a long time, but it is okay. This is normal, right?

"No, it's okay. I take the bus. You sure you okay?"

I nodded and let go of her hand.

"See you at school?"

"Yeah. Bye."

Jenna kissed me by the cheek and walked to the bus stop, and the exact moment, the bus arrived. I waved at her and proceeded to return home. I hope that dad did not come back yet. I do not want him to ask me about Adam, or anything about today. I used another road too, the one where no bikes can pass through, as I wanted to avoid Adam, at all cost. I walked down the pavement while my thoughts were running wildly in my mind.

Why does he act like that?

Is he really be playing with me?

Or...

No way!

He is not jealous when I am with Jenna this morning, right?

But,

It was not a reason for him to be that bitchy with me.

I kept thinking about the answer, but I cannot find any. Maybe it was true, Adam only wanted to play with me. There is no way he would fall in love with me.

I mean, look at him!

How can a guy, that hot, and sexy, and muscular-well build guy, did not want to fall in love with a girl, but want to be with guy, right?

NONSENSE!

Yeah, it is true, he was just playing.

And I was too dumb to look through his intention.

Argh!!!

All this thinking made me even mad!

That is it!

I am with Jenna now!

Screw Adam!

All that rambling made me not realized that I was already reached home. 

Fuh! Luckily dad was not here yet.

As I was about to enter my house, a honk made me jumped a little. 

No, please, no!

"Alan, mind help me unload the groceries?"

I helped dad carried the groceries inside, but I did it quickly. I really did not want him to ask me about my day today. 

That was the last thing I wanted to talk about with him!

"Alan, why so hurry? Is Adam promised you a date?"

But, of course, my unusual behaviour attracted his intention.

I knew I should take the acting class at my previous school, and top of that, he mentioned that jerk name!

"No, Dad! I already have a girlfriend! No more Adam! And...and forget about him!"

I quickly entered the house and put the bag on the kitchen table. After that, I ran to my room and locked the door. My dad called for me, but I ignored him. I just wanted to be alone right now.

Deep down, I know that I was still attached to him.

But what can I do?

I still think about him, even until this time.

Is Jenna my girlfriend...or just my healing spot?

That eventually, I will leave after I felt better.

Nobody knows the answer.

I cried.

Anddddd, that's it~

Entry closed.

Night.