Almost Not Over You

CHAPTER 7: WHEN CAUGHT IN BETWEEN LIES AND TRUTH

Life is bound with truth and lies. In an ideal world, we all wanted only the truth because we all believe in the saying that the truth will set us free. Yes, truly indeed. It is better, to be honest with people no matter how hard it is than to tell a lie because it’s like stabbing a person on the back and that’s probably the most painful one to experience. Even at court, all truths must be heard. Those who stand on the witness stand take an oath to only tell the truth and nothing but the truth. Most assuredly in love, we also wanted that those people we love are also honest enough to tell us everything even the most painful truth—that they’d fallen out of love. But sometimes, some lies are meant to be said not because it is the right thing to do so. But because it’s the only thing we can do as of the moment—to protect those we love from experiencing that indescribable pain. Lies are needed at times, not to sugar coat anything but to help people to heal and move on from the past. 

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After fixing the small mix-up we had because of lying to him, we became even closer to each other. We talked a lot these past few days. We became more open to each other. We hang out a lot—strolling in the park at night, dine out at a fancy restaurant sometimes, or just merely walking way home after work. I guess this is how a relationship goes after a strained conflict. It was bound for a brighter path.

“Here’s your visa,” I said while I handed down the extended visa granted by the embassy.

“Thank you.” He was smiling hardcore.

“So what are your plans now?” I asked him casually while taking a large bite of my burger. “Though the extension was only for a month at least it’s quite long enough to do what you wanted to do after all.”

“I’m not sure though.” He just said plainly. “I mean before having this extended visa, there’s only one thing I wanted to do. I wanted to meet her. I wanted to finally ask her why. But now that I got this extended visa, I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I have that courage to face her and to know the reasons why. I don’t think I’m prepared for that. Coming here to Austria and look for her was my main goal but now that I know where she is, I feel like I lost all the courage to see her. I feel like I lost all the words I’ve prepared. I don’t know what’s holding me back. But all I know is that I’m just scared of the possibilities that she might be falling out of love with me. I’m scared of hearing the truth from her. You might think I’m pathetic enough, right?” He smiled.

“No,” I responded simply. “You’re not pathetic just because you hold on from the past. It only means that you have a good heart because you love her that much. And there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with loving someone too much. It’s totally fine. It doesn’t make you less of a person.” I added while noticing how he pity himself too much. “Enough with this drama. Get up.” I strongly uttered.

“Why?” he confusingly asked.

“Since you wanted to meet her and asked her why, so that’s the first thing we need to do.” I voiced myself. “You should meet her. I mean, you should not waste this once in a lifetime opportunity given to you. Not everyone is lucky enough to be given an extended visa. You should grab this chance. A chance to heal from the past and to move on. I know it’s hard. But don’t worry, I’ll help you. If you might not ask, I’m the expert in that field—I’m a master of moving on. Take it from me. Learn from the expert.”

That made him laugh a lot. I missed seeing him smile like that.  It’s quite amusing to watch him smiling like a kid since after he knew her whereabouts he could just barely smile.

“It’s on me.” He said plainly. “I mean I can handle it. I don’t want to burden you more with my issues in life. You have done a lot for me. And that’s enough.” He added.

Honestly, I wanted to help him. But from the tone of his voice telling me not to involve myself with his problems on her ex, I understand his point.

“Well, I don’t know you exactly. I don’t know your story. All I know is that she left you. That’s it.” I explain thoroughly. “I mean healing and moving on should not be one-sided only. Yes, you have to take the first step but for it to be a success you need to receive that unsolicited help from the other party of course. Because you can only forgive truly if you know how to forget the pain from the past. Forgetting comes from admitting to yourself that you also have faults in the process—flaws not to undermine yourself but to love yourself, even more, to be the best version of yourself. Actually, our imperfections make us realize that at the end of the day we are human—we are breathing and living every day. We might not be perfect. But isn’t it all of us are work in progress. From then, we can heal and move on without keeping any hatred and anger in our hearts. We only have one heart so we need to take good care of it, isn’t it?”

“Oh! Wow. I never thought you have that kind of wisdom in your head.” He said while clapping his hands and nodding his head out of disbelief.

“Thank you. Thank you.” I said while bowing myself out of gratitude.

“But seriously, if you needed help, just tell me, okay? You know I’m just a call away, right? Or shall I say, a wall away?” Then, he burst into laughter.

“Thank you.” He said out of the blue. “I’m really grateful for everything you have done for me. I don’t know how I can repay you for everything.”

“You don’t have to,” I said. “Seeing you happy and staying with me is enough,”  I added softly so he couldn’t hear those words as I walked ahead of him.

“What?” He asked while walking with me in the side. “What did you say?”

“None. I didn’t say anything.” I defensively uttered.

“Mmm… You clearly said something.” He asked me curiously. “Hey! What is it?”

“Nothing. I didn’t say anything. Promise.” I strongly added.

I take my defensive mode as he asked me non-stop while we walkway home. I never thought he has that skill to hear even those words said in a low tone. I guess he has this sixth sense that he’s been hiding all along.

In the morning.

“Bye!” I said while I hurriedly went outside. I barely ate my breakfast since I will probably be late for work now. I never expected that our chit-chat last night could end up that long that I sleep late and woke up late as well.

“Take care.” He yelled while waving his hands on my way out.

“Wait,” I said to myself clearly while pinching my cheeks. “Ouch! That hurts a lot. I’m not dreaming at all but how come I am seeing weird things. He was waving at me, right?”

But I suddenly stop daydreaming and imagining things since I would probably get into huge trouble if I’m super late at work. I couldn’t take the risk of getting a scold from Madam L. Not this time. 

“Ms. San Jose? Try to be early next time, okay?” Madam L uttered with some sense of urgency.

“Yes.” I just nodded.

After the meeting, Mandy approached me. Well, the usual adrenaline response of her every time I got in trouble or something unusual happens to me. It seems like she has the highest smell on things like this. And her routine for more than 3 years now is the same—walking towards me, smiling deviously with two cups of coffee in her hands. Basically, I have seen that over the years now but I don’t know how I easily fall into that trick all the time.

“Hey!” She greeted me while giving me my favorite cup of coffee. “So, how was it?” She added suspiciously.

“What?” I asked her casually pretending not to know what she meant.

“Hey!” She protested. “How was it living with your new-found friend?”

“It’s okay.” I just answered plainly.

“What do you mean okay? Can’t you be more in detail?” She pleaded. “I mean he’s cute, huh. No one wouldn’t fall for his looks.”

“Hey! Don’t be green-minded, okay?” I warned her. “Nothing goes between us. He slept in my room while I stay in my friend’s room. We’re not the only ones living in the house. Remember? Jessie is living with us as well. My best friend. You know her right?”

“Hey! Why are you so defensive?” She asked. “Why are you explaining that much? I don’t have weird thoughts at all. I didn’t say something going on between you.”

“Well… I just explain it directly to avoid any confusion.” I explained with staggering words.

“Hey!” She smiled hastily. “I smelled something fishy.”

Now, I got myself in real trouble. Because of overthinking, Mandy has something to tease me about. And knowing her personality, she won’t stop until she confirms her curiosity. “Hey!” I told myself. “Why can’t you be so cautious enough? How come you were able to fall into that trick? You’re crazy, George.”

Even until I went to my next shift in the flower shop, I was really bothered by how Mandy caught me in between. I can’t seem to focus at all. Since during weekends we don’t have work or just a half-day meeting every month, I decided to work on a flower shop owned by my other friend, Olivia whom I met through Jessie. Olivia was a plain housewife before she builds her own business. She’s a mother of two and happily married to Peter, Jessie’s superior in the hospital. Well, to make the long story short, she decided to build her own business after her youngest started schooling. Ever since she really wanted to have a flower shop. I guess she got that influence since she grows up living on a farm full of fruits, vegetables, and flowers of course. Since she was young she really loved flowers a lot. I mean, she loved to grow different kinds of plants. And to tell you honestly, she’s damn good. I mean she has these green hands that she could actually save a dying plant and eventually make that plant blossom into its most beautiful stage. I don’t know what’s her secret but I guess it’s her love for plants and flowers has urged her to build this flower shop I’m working with. At first, I just wanted to help her. Though we don’t have that kind of friendship like I have with my best friend Jessie, but I consider her as my good friend—a newfound friend. I wanted to help her running her flower shop since working here even just during the weekends has helped me one way or another to heal from the past. It seems like the plants are absorbing all my negative energy brought by that pain in the past. Eventually, I enjoyed working here. And our unexpected friendship was something I’m thankful for—coming and living here in Austria was definitely the best thing that happened to me.

“Are you okay?” She asked me worriedly.

“Yes. I’m okay.” I responded.

“But you don’t look okay,” Olivia added. “Something bothering you? I mean I know we don’t talk a lot these past few days but you know that if you want someone to talk to, you can always talk to me, right?”

I nodded. “I know. Thanks. But no thanks because I’m totally fine. You don’t need to worry about me.” I added while giving her a comforting hug.

“Well, enough for this drama because I have something to tell you.” She enticingly uttered. “You will have a new project.”

“Really?” I asked her.

“Yes.” She happily confirmed. “There’s this guy who wanted to throw a surprise dinner set up for his wife. It’s for their 3rd wedding anniversary. He wanted it to be as intimate yet very memorable. His wife was a flower lover just like me. So he wanted he rented a rooftop area for that surprise dinner. He wanted it to be like a paradise full of flowers. Well, we had this quite short talk and I happen to tell him that I have a very good. Wait, not just a good one but truly the best freelance event designer. Well, at first he won’t believe me as if I’m bluffing at all so I presented some pictures to show him how good you are.”

“Unbelievable. Don’t tell me.”

“Yes. You got it right, the one you design with—my dream wedding.” She said proudly.

“Hey! Why did you show that to him? You know that was just unexpected right?” I said in protest.

“Well, thanks to that we met and eventually became good friends, isn’t it?” She happily added. “So, going back. He ordered a lot of flowers for us in exchange for you will be the one to decorate the area intended for the surprise. And I said yes immediately. Sorry. I don’t know what happen to me why I said yes immediately but after hearing his love story I guess I was carried away. It seems like I wanted to help him with his struggling love story even just to set up a beautiful surprise.”

“It’s okay,” I assured her. “But when would that be?”

“Don’t worry it’s on the weekend.” She responded.

“Okay. But let me take a look first at my schedule. I don’t want to ruin his surprise just because I can’t give my all to it due to my other plans.” I quickly gazed at my phone and since there were no other activities scheduled I accepted the project.

“This is his phone number so you can contact him about the details.” She added. “He just ordered different colors of roses and tulips as well but I don’t know exactly how he wanted it to look like. I haven’t given him some options to choose from since I’m not good at such stuff. So, he just left his number so that you can ask him directly about the design he wanted.”

“Thank you,” I said as I added the number on my phone.          

After adding the client’s number, I immediately called him. Since it’s on the weekend, I only have a week to prepare and that’s not much time to do so because I have prior work as a tourist guide. I wanted to know his plan as soon as possible and come up with the best idea for a surprise. I guess my workaholic side arises again this time. We had a good talk that he wanted to meet personally to flourish all the details about the surprise anniversary dinner.  After meeting him and luckily know his quite sad love story, I am eager to help him with his intended surprise. Now I know why my friend Olivia accepted the project immediately—why she wanted to help the client with his surprise. I guess she was moved by his love just like how I was moved by him.  After coming up with the design, I also offered some gimmicks to add to his intended surprises such as rose petals on the floor, an orchestra playing their favorite love song, and a short video showcasing their love story and a heartfelt message at the end of course. Luckily, he just agreed to everything I said. So everything goes smoothly as planned.

Early in the morning on the said day of the intended surprise wedding anniversary dinner, I was very busy preparing all the stuff needed. I check thoroughly if all the flowers and other essentials are complete. I guess I don’t want to mess up this time. I wanted to do a good job. I wanted to help them with their love story even just by setting up a beautiful surprise anniversary dinner. I was able to leave then but to my surprise, I saw someone familiar—not that I know her personally but somehow I got to see a glimpse of her from afar. I saw this woman the day Jac suddenly runs off the bus and went somewhere—of which I found him crying while watching a woman from afar. Though I don’t know who she was on that day, I know she was someone special. Then afterward, I was able to know she was Jac’s ex-fiancée—the one who runs off during their supposed wedding day.

As soon as the woman draws closer to the aisle where the table was set while my client was waiting at her with the look of all the love in the world and a bouquet in his hands, my instincts tell me I was right. She was really Jac’s ex-fiancée walking down the aisle. I haven’t take a closer look at her than today and now I know why Jac was so in love with her. She’s so beautiful as if an angel from heaven has accidentally landed on earth. Her glowing skin matches her dress perfectly. Her make up truly highlighted her beauty. And as she walked, anyone could probably stop for a while and stare at her. It seems like everything was perfectly crafted. I wanted to laugh at how fate tries to play a joke on me. But I guess this is how small the world is after all—meeting someone unexpectedly.

But honestly, I was a bit happy knowing Jac’s ex has a happy life because that would mean Jac should not dwell on the past anymore—that would mean he could now finally heal from the pain and eventually move on. But a part of me says, maybe that was out of my selfishness. I guess I wanted him to move on so that he could give chance to others who could love him even more. My inner self wanted him to heal and start a new life—a new love even if that wouldn’t be me because truthfully, I wanted him to be happy again. Even if I don’t get back the love I give to him, it’s my only wish to see him smile from the heart and be happy as much as he can. And I’m willing to bargain anything for that to happen.

“What’s all this?” I was about to leave for the second time around when I heard an angry voice and heard a slap on the face. I was startled to witness a couple of fights on the supposed to be the happiest day of their lives. I saw Jac’s ex screaming, yelling, and throwing everything on the floor. She even harshly throws the flowers and steps on her foot. I don’t know what’s going on but it’s not something I need to involve myself with so I hurriedly went out of the venue but unfortunately I suddenly stop when I heard Jac’s name on their heated confrontation.

“You told me no more lies, isn’t it? You told me we will start a new life. You told me that you will tell Jac the truth—that you will tell him his you’re half-brother and that his mom was alive. How come you didn’t take that flight to the Philippines? How come you just stood here and prepared this stuff?” She angrily said.

“I wanted to but I can’t I mean… how could I exactly tell him that, “Hey! Jac your mother is not dead. She’s alive. She’s just pretended to be dead just to be with me—her sick child from another man. Yes, you’re right I’m you’re half-brother. My dad was your mom’s boss before and they fell in love at the wrong time and they had me. How could I tell him that, Jac you’re ex-fiancée who left you on your supposed to be wedding day happens to be my wife?” He cried.

Seeing them with all the hows in life makes me think that they were all victims of the right love at the wrong time. It made me realize that it’s better not to let them see each other—that it would be better to keep the truth from both sides. I mean they all suffered from the pain in the past, not just Jac himself but even to her who hurt him a lot and to him—his unknown half-brother. It made me think that sometimes lies are better than the truth because sometimes truths are too much and too painful to bear.