She Still Wants You

What's Wrong?

Meagan's POV

"Hey Mali, how are doing" 

I recognized whose voice it is even though he sounds exhausted. "Am fine thanks Mike, how are you, you sound exhausted?".

"yea, I had a busy day, I was in two 3 hr meetings one was in the morning and the other one ended about 2hrs ago. Lemme not bore you with my work, how was your day did you see the present I sent you?" His voice sounded very cool when he was asking like he was asking about something trivial.

"Yes I received the gift, thanks Mike. Am really grateful, It is just the thing I was wishing for." I say looking at the parcel box.

"Anything for you Mali,... and how's your lil man doing by the way?"

"He is fine, I was actually expecting his call" ..... We talked for a while till my sleep angel took me into a force sleep without allowing me to say my good nights to Mike. I slept peacefully like a young child who had a playful day............

A couple of days close to two weeks after the Chisenga wedding I had finished retouching their photos and for our events. I was now processing the photos into hard copies at my Oscar's apartment. He has all the studio equipments cameras, computers, printers and other office equipments.

He is doing game development and animation making. His is running his own media tech studio (called Oscan), it is still considered as an upcoming media company but the projects he manages are competitive to those of seasoned media companies. 

And lately he has been talking of partnering with other companies to make a certain huge project. It is an adventurous game, Oscar says it will be something like a blend of Grand Theft Auto (GTA) and Call Of Duty (COD) but in a romantic version". He has been so busy with this same project, we barely spend time together nowadays. 

Luckily today he was home, he is taking the day off. I seized the opportunity to spend time with him, I really missed man.

We're in his work room chatting and Oscar is helping me sort out the photos by event as I was processing the photos of my clients from recent events. He quickly sorted them out and went into the kitchen while I was still lagging.

It was kinda easy for him, Oscar is a good photographer as well he actually taught me a lot about photography in high school. But he switched to start his media studio after we clapped school. When I asked him why he is not pursuing photography as his career, he always said something like 

"Photography is my passion and I don't want to put a price on it, I might end up frustrating my passion. It is better I attach it to what brings money".

Oscar comes back from the kitchen with two cups of smoothie. He hands me my cup "thanks baeb, I was starving" I say after taking a sip of my smoothie.

"You know baeb, if smoothie was a lady I would have considered cheating"

Oscar says placing his cup on the table after taking a long sip. "Psshhh", I chuckled "thank God food doesn't flirt back" I reply taking another sip.

He then asks me what food I would choose over him. I am not really a food lover am more nutrition conscious of food but chocolate always has its way with me. "Mmmm maybe chocolate" I reply in an uncertain manner trying to fight the thought that I actually meant Mike when I said chocolate.

I shoot to death the thought that I might still be in love with Mike for the hundredth time now, and it seems to get more and more stronger each time. It is now making me feel guilty and uncomfortable whenever Oscar gets close to me.

I take a long sip facing in the cup while talking to myself to help me calm down. "Am in love with Oscar and only him" I mentally say to myself repeatedly while slowly sipping, allowing my words to sink in together with the smoothie.

I down my smoothie and am now heading to the refrigerator to refill my cup, then I see a bucket of chocolate ice cream in the corner of the fridge. I gave into the temptation, quickly I grabbed a spoon I filled my cup with the ice cream.

I even took three overfilled scoops of ice cream from the bucket before I putting it back. "Baeb will just have to understand my weakness with chocolate" I say to myself as I put back the bucket.

My phone vibrates from the back pocket as I am closing the fridge. Its a text from Mike "Hey Mali am waiting for my photo session " with a what's happening emoji. He sent another text "your assistants didn't do a good job, I look like your ex in the photos. " With the I don't like it emojis.

I text back "I've been busy lately, I'll tell you when I am free." He replies "I thought maybe you had caught cold feet" I was so lost in texting I even forgot about my ice cream, it even started melting.

Oscar came in the kitchen and He goes straight to the fridge to refill his cup, "hey baeb what are you doing" he sayings softly while hugging me from behind. I quickly switched from what's app to photos in my gallery as Oscar was coming to me, making it look like I was lost looking at the details of a couple I captured.

Oscar sees the photo and kisses me softly on my neck saying "its beautiful, I am lucky to have you baeb, you're very talented. Love you baeb", I could feel it in his voice he misses me. Oscar leaves the kitchen to go attend to the machine that had beeped. I let out a sigh "thank God Mike didn't send any nasty text" I say to myself in a tone only audible to me. I quick go to the message settings to set Mike's messages on mute.

I don't want to go through that emotional dilemma again. Oscar's words left me emotional confusion as my fear of, what if Mike had sent a nasty text when Oscar was starring at my phone? Turned into guilty and self hate when Oscar left after saying he loves me. Which made me feel like a bad person.

I shed a tear in my guilt, I quickly wipe it before Oscar comes back into the kitchen. I carry my chocolate cold cream leaving my phone on the table. I was so lost emotionally I forgot about my phone when I was wiping my tears.

I carried the thing I felt like would help me out in such a moment. I take my scoop, my chocolate cream had melted now, heading out of the kitchen. I went to the work room to continue processing the photos while chatting with Oscar from across the room.

Oscar was taking a shower, preparing to go meet a business partner who had called for him on short notice, saying it was urgent he has to meet them. He went to his room to go dress up. He tries out a few outfits asking for my opinion. Then he goes silent for a while I assumed he finally chose his attire.

"Aah!!!" I heard Oscar shout from his room. I rush to the room to check out what happened. I get into the room, I find him on the floor shirtless and his pants half way undressed, he is holding his leg that's shaking a bit.

He has a muscle flinch, I help him get on the bed to stretch and massage the leg. I could feel him looking at me as I was massaging his leg. I turn to ask him how it happened and before I could say a word he kisses me.

He swallows my first words in a kiss, as I was caught off guard. I manage to speak out some words out of his mouth in between our kissing intervals. "What-happened-baeb?

"I-I-I-I..... miss-your-sweet-lips" Oscar constructed his sentence across the kiss, I could feel his heart racing as we kissed. I gave in to his temptation. My hands were combing his hair, and my body was on top of his. I kissed Oscar like I am a mammie.

I quickly take off my top, and Oscar swiftly reaches for my t**s like a hungry vampire apacing for someone's neck. Oscar sucks the loneliness out of me as I kept on touching his body like a blind man looking for his stuff.

We caressed for a while, I could feel my lower body getting wet. Oscar's hands were lingering around my waist to unzip my pants. My body became impatient, my hands felt so kind they volunteered to help unzip my pants.

A ring on my left hand had locked with some of Oscar's hairs. My horny hands plucked out a few strides of hair from Oscar's head causing him to groan, making me notice the ring on my finger which turned off me.

I unconsciously paused, as thoughts battled in my head. "I can't do this, he will never get serious about engaging you" said one side of my brain, "don't be silly he still doesn't get it, give him something to miss you for again, a round won't hurt besides you also miss it as well" the other side of my brain debated as well.

My sudden pause ruined Oscar's energy especially after uprooting some of his hair. "What's wrong baeb?" Oscar asked looking puzzled. I don't want to tell him the reason why, I can't do it, but am way too deep to give a silly excuse either. I get off the bed looking confused just as I am inside. I rushed to the bathroom as the battle of thoughts in my head got intense.

I start shaking my head seated on the edge of the bath tab. "What was I thinking?" I ask myself like an angry boss talking to a dumb worker. Oscar makes things worse as he kept on knocking, "Baeb, please let's talk it out, what's happening?" He says leaning against the door.

"I wish Kate was here to help me with this mess." I say to myself tightly holding the ring in my palm. All I just wanted is for Oscar to engage me even if he was going to marry me after two years.

"Why did it have to be this complicated, all I just wanted is a ring from him. Is that too much to ask" I say sobering.

Kate's plan was good, its made sense it was going well. I made a mistake giving in to Oscar's temptation, I blame it on my feelings. "I shouldn't have kissed him back. Am so dumb." I say as I drown myself into regret.

I kept quiet for a while and I heard Oscar leaving the door. Which made me feel a little bit relieved but still I have to get out of this room with a logical explanation for the way I had reacted.

I know you probably wondering what's wrong with me, and why the heck did I freak out when things were at that point. I know what I did is weird and I can explain.

It all started some months ago when this happened.

..................................