I Am Worthy

Chapter 3: Tranquillity

I let out all the tears I tried not to let fall, my parents, both my sisters, and Eli. All the people I loved most in the world were taken from me. I had no other family due to my parents being only children and my grandparents passed when I was around 4 years old. I’m alone now. I can see neighbours watching me with a scared look in their eyes, I could smell their fear, including the cops. Wait, what? How can a person smell fear? I suddenly felt my ears twitching on top of my head, as I heard the sound of footsteps slowly approaching. Wait, that doesn't make sense? I lift my hand and place it where I felt the movement and to my utmost astonishment, there is a pair of doglike fur covered ears. Just as I am about to look up to see who is approaching I can see a tail wrap around my leg, but no animal to follow, I stand and turn, but it turns with me. I am so confused and scared. Then I realise that everyone isn’t looking at Eli’s body, rather they are looking at me. I stand up and begin running, I run into the woods that are nearby and somehow I have ended up on all fours. I look down and notice I have paws instead of hands and feet, the fur is the same as my hair colour. What the f**k is happening?! I think to myself. I manage to trip over a branch and tumble through what felt like a large spider web. But when I gain my feet again I don't recognise where I am. I know these forests like the back of my hand so how can I be lost right now?

I don’t know how long I ran for but eventually it was dawn. The sun beamed through the trees, but I am far too exhausted to admire the beauty of this forest. I find some nearby shade and lay down on my paws, drifting off into a dreamless sleep with the feeling of sorrow and pain being my only company. “When my eyes open it will all have been just one horrific nightmare.” I thought to myself. 

I felt a cold breeze as I began waking up from my awful dream, but when I managed to open my eyes I realised it wasn’t a dream. The thick bushes and trees still surrounded me. I am back to my human form but I still have those awful ears and tail. I brought my knees to my chest and let my emotions flow, the sadness and anger being the main ones. The sun is now at its highest point in the sky, telling me that it is about midday. I cried until it set again and continued crying into the night until I finally passed out. I once again woke up to a new day, “Why? Why did you keep me alive?” I cried into the wind, not expecting a reply, yet I heard one. “You are my child, I have to keep you safe.” I heard a faint whisper, but where it came from I have no idea. I decided I had to eat. It’s been days since I last had anything, so I gave myself a shake and stood not knowing what to do. I am as naked as the day I was born and had no idea how to start a fire, let alone hunt. “Picture your wolf…” Came that same heavenly voice in the wind, so I closed my eyes and did so. I can feel my bones shifting and it brought me to my knees from the pain. Eventually the pain stopped, and when it did I reopened my eyes. I was back on all fours, with my paws digging into the dirt beneath them. I knew this was definitely me because I still have the hollow feeling in my heart. An emptiness I can’t fill. “Fret not, child, let instinct take over.” The voice in the wind spoke. “Who are you?” I thought but this time I received no answer. Instead I grounded myself, closed my eyes and listened, my ears twitched at the sounds around me until they picked the sound of a scampering of a rabbit. My eyes opened and I automatically followed the sound. I saw the Rabbit and pounced onto sinking my canines into its neck, It screamed for a minute and eventually fell limp. Then I tore into it, enjoying the feel of its warm blood filling my mouth and sliding down my throat.

After feasting on the little rabbit my hunger subsided. I am now in a nearby lake washing the blood from my body and face. I still don’t know where I am but it's peaceful. I feel at home for some strange reason. The grass was a beautiful green, the leaves on the trees danced in the wind and the lake was calm, the only ripples being caused by me. I laid back and allowed myself to float, taking in the smells of the grass, the numerous flowers and the sounds of the insects and birds along with small mammals scurrying across the forest floor. The events from the last few months playing on repeat in my head, reminding me of the emptiness in my heart. I have no more tears left to cry and I feel like I've entered a new reality. Everything is different, calmer, the pain feels lessened here. 

It has been a few weeks since I found this safe haven, and so far I seem to be the only one here. I feel like it’s helping me heal, bringing me peace. I still have the void feeling in my heart but it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I wish I had them with me, they would have loved this place. I spend most of my time in wolf form, it is much more comfortable than I thought, I also noticed my senses are much better than what they used to be. In wolf form I'm about the same size as an Alaskan timber wolf, so bigger than most but still not massive. I prefer being in wolf form, not only does it keep me warm at night, it also allows me to roam freely without the worry of someone catching me naked. That is, if anyone decides to show up. But as I walked on the bouncy forest floor, I caught a scent. It smelt like acacia wood mixed with vanilla and it was intoxicating, but it had the scent of both human and wolf, or something of the sort.

I quickly ran back to the lake hoping that if there was anyone here they wouldn't find me, when I got there I shifted back to my human form and slipped into the deepest part, I listened intently for any sound, then I heard footsteps running in my direction so I held my breath and submerged myself in the water, pushing myself down so that I couldn't be seen at the surface. The water muffled the voices but I could still hear what was being said, “This way, I know I had it!” the first voice shouted, “We need to be careful, there will probably be rogues around here, besides this one smells different, more dangerous.” Came the second voice closely followed by a low growl. I looked to the surface of the water and towards the edge of the forest where the voices were coming from, struggling to hold my breath for any longer. I could see 2 large men, I couldn't really make them out due to the water blurring my vision but they both looked huge nonetheless. They stood for a second then finally left, as they disappeared into the trees, I forced myself back to the surface of the water and took in a number of heavy breathes in between coughs. I got out of the water and shifted quickly, then made my way in the opposite direction of the people I saw. I began getting flashbacks of the night Deana and Eli were taken from me, it feels like my chest is being constricted but I refuse to stop running, because if I do then I have to relive that night over and over again. All I can do is pray that those guys didn’t hear me.

I have finally calmed down and found a place to sleep for the night, but I can’t shake the feeling I got earlier, I felt like I was being pulled to something. And for some reason I feel like it won’t be the last time I come across those men. I finally fell to sleep and was met with the most beautiful green eyes in my dream. But not long after, I heard a branch snap nearby, bringing all my senses into overdrive. And there it was again, the intoxicating smell of acacia wood and vanilla, but this time it was much closer than I would have preferred.