ALMOST EIGHTEEN.

CHAPTER ONE.

SPIRALED AGAIN.

It sucks to be under eighteen. You can’t do anything fun, go anywhere fun, be with anyone fun. You’re practically caged. Having an authoritative and controlling mother makes it much worse.

It's 9:32am and I’m standing in front of my mirror checking out the lame dress Mum picked out to wear to the lame house party hosted by the lamest girl in twelfth grade; Dorothy.

I would rather be at home holed up in my room doing nothing than be at Dorothy’s party. This over Connor’s all white party? Mum freaking spare me the joke.

Connor has been my crush since my heart developed the ability to like. We’re in the same grade and God knows how long I’ve been yearning for his attention. The one freaking time Connor looks my way and invites me to one of his parties, Mum denied.

I’m devastated. The loud clack clack I hear coming up the stairs tells me Mum is on her way to check on me.

“Hey my honey drop” my room door opens as she walks in. I sigh and go to sit at my wannabe makeup table that has just one makeup brush, an eyeliner and two tubes of lipgloss.

“You look marvelous.” she said, smiling wide while checking me out. I stared at her in absolute horror. This light blue top with the word “A little girl” written on it and a black plain jean with rubber sandals was her definition of marvelous?

I looked like a slow i***t. “I look dumb.” “ Honey no, don’t say that. You look spectacular.” “I don’t."

I look like a f*****g idiot.” I went to sit on my bed, putting the pillow over my face so she wouldn’t see the tears about to come down.

Mum sat on my bed nudging me. “What’s wrong? You’re not feeling okay?” I sat up and faced her. “I don’t want to go to Dorothy’s party. Mum, I want to go to Connor’s party. I was invited.”

“Well you were also invited to Dorothy’s party. “Nooo Mum. You don’t get it. Connor’s party is way cooler. I’ll get to know him more and even make new friends.”

“We’ve talked about this. No more Connor talk in this house. Dorothy’s party starts at 30” With that, she leaves the room. I threw myself on the bed, screaming into my pillow. I hate my life.

Ten minutes later, I’m walking down the stairs. I feel like the dork that I am. In the living room was Mum watching Netflix with her legs crossed. I eyed her and walked towards the door.

“All ready?” I ignored her and went out to the driveway. “Going out like you can get there yourself huh?” “Dorothy’s house is just over there! It's the next freaking house for Christ’s sake!!”

“I know. I’m taking you there myself. You think it’s a short distance but you never know. Anything could happen.” I can’t put into words how I feel right now. I’m so pissed I could faint.

I watched her as she walked to the car. Something is definitely wrong with her. “Come on Toya. Don’t just stand there.” I slowly walked to the car and the next two minutes we are at Dorothy’s place.

“Might as well stay and watch me all through.” I get out of the car and shut it. “You’re welcome hon” Her loud voice ringing in my ears. One of these days, the neighbours would report her for nuisance.

Is this a party or an after funeral ceremony? Sitting on the outdoor grassy area with eight other girls including Dorothy, all wearing a light pink sun hat and looking so… so f*****g stupid.

I’m at this s**t of a party because first, Dorothy invited me, second, my mum and Dorothy’s mum are friends and volunteers at the local community center and she told my mum about it…

“Dorothy wants Latoya to be at her little house party this weekend. It would be so much fun.”

Yeah. This is fun. So much fun. “So let’s all stand up and sing the outdoor girls anthem.” Dorothy the host stands up and stay in our midst. The girl has a clock eye and right now I can’t tell if she’s looking at me or the girl next to me.

Still in a circle, we held hands to sing the anthem. Don’t judge me, I only know the anthem because I used to go on outdoor trips when I was younger.

After singing the anthem, we sat down.

I sighed in resignation. I wish to be anywhere but here. “Let’s all talk about what we love doing. I would point to you and you speak.” Dorothy looked round, her hand pointing at me and her eyes looking at God knows where.

“Uh me?” I looked around, the other girls nodding at me. “Uhm... I…I love reading an…” “You have to stand while speaking.” I looked at her and at the other girls. It was itching. It was rising up slowly. I have to control it.

I sighed and took a deep breath. I may not like Dorothy but I'm not a jerk to ruin her house party because I didn't want to be here. With a smile on my face, “Well, I love to read and watch crime documentaries.”

"Crime documentaries? That's creepy Latoya.” Genevieve another girl in my grade that I don't like said, talking to the other girls who were murmuring and looking like I said I wanted to murder someone.

I could put a hole in her head right now. "Girls be quiet. Latoya thank you for that. You have quite an interesting hobby. Now, it's Genevieve’s turn.” The redhead girl stood in the center smiling and making faces at me.

" My name is Genevieve, short for Gen. Only my friends can call me Gen. What I love to do is exploring, going outdoors, taking pi…" “Alright girls, Come on in.” That was Dorothy's mum calling for us to eat.

I'm unnecessarily happy that Genevieve was cut short. Girl wasn't happy about it. I could see smoke coming out of her head. The girl had serious attention issues.

The one thing I can't get mad at is good food. If there's one thing I like about Dorothy's mum, it's that she's a good cook. The woman is really good.

Everyone loved Mrs Blaire's cooking. She is solely in charge of making the food and snacks for the local community center events. I always look forward to it for that reason.

"There you go girls. Enjoy.” Mrs Blaire said, dropping the last bowl of snacks. This is a yummy sight. "Thanks Mrs Blaire.” We all chorused and dug into the food.

"Hmm, this is so good. Dorothy, your mum's a good cook." I continued eating happily, stuffing my mouth with food. Mum needs to take some lessons from Mrs Blaire. “Thanks Latoya but please don't speak again. We don't talk at the table here."

I looked up at Dorothy. The food became a weight in my mouth. Why was this b***h being such a jerk? I shouldn't be mad but I am. "Ignore her Dorothy. She probably hasn't heard of table manners.” That was Genevieve.

The f**k? Who does this scrawny looking kid think she's talking to? “I was only appreciating the food." I gripped my fork tight. It has risen up. It was talking now. I gritted my teeth trying to suppress my internal struggles.

"I was only appreciating the food.” I repeated. “Well, we are telling you not to talk while we are eating. Weren't you taught LATOYA?” The stupid girl glared at me with those crazy eyes.

It snapped and broke free. Next thing I knew,I banged my fist on the table, stood up and grabbed Genevieve's f*****g redhead, slamming it into the table over and over and over until someone with really strong hands; Mrs Blaire pulled me off her.

I was breathing hard, holding my chest. I'm sweating all over. My face was hot and it felt like a million things were crawling all over it. The room smelled like copper. My legs were shaky. It happened. It happened again. I couldn't control it.

If Mrs Blaire hadn't interfered, I would have murdered someone. I looked across the room where Genevieve was laying on the bed bag in the center of the living room. She looked limp, almost lifeless. Her face was messed with blood. Her own blood.

She was lifted up and carried outside. She wasn't moving. I don't think she is. What have I done? My vision became blurry. I staggered and fell on the floor. Someone passed over me and ignored me. I was about to stand up when the door burst open.

“LATOYA! LATOYA!!! What happened Mrs Blaire? What happened? Who's being carried out." Mum was panicking hard. She knelt by my side, placing my head on her lap. She was crying now, pulling her hair and talking to me. I couldn't look at her.

“What happened? You are only concerned for your daughter. Do you know what she did to Genevieve!? Your daughter would pay for this." With that, Mrs Blaire walked out yelling for us to get out of her house.

“Mum, mum I'm sorry." I whispered to her. This wasn't the plan. Yes, I didn't want to attend the party but the last thing I wanted to do was wreck Dorothy's party. I hadn't seen her since the whole s**t happened. She would f*****g hate me.

Mum looked at me with pain, tears and something else that I can't quite explain. She lifted me and placed me in the back seat of the car. "We are going to the hospital.” was the only thing she said before slamming the door.

I grunted in pain. I wasn't okay. As I lay down, my eyes caught my phone in the car pocket. I discreetly took it. As I did, the phone buzzed. It was a message from… OH MY f*****g DAYS!!!