ALMOST EIGHTEEN.

CHAPTER TWO.

THE THING INSIDE ME.

The room is dark. I'm bent on the floor against the cold wall. The ground is equally cold. I can't see anything in this room. I'm bent in an awkward position making it hard for me to breathe.

The door opens. I recognize that creaky sound. It's familiar. My head goes up but I can't see anything. I know something is inside with me but I can't see it.

It's near me now. I can feel its breath on my ears. It's too close. I should be scared but I'm not. I don't move. It doesn't speak. I can only hear and feel its rugged breathing.

Now it's speaking. Its guttural voice makes me understand that its size isn't normal. I can't understand what it's saying. Next, I feel it's hands on my neck. It holds it gently at first, adding pressure slowly.

Now it's grip is tight on my neck. It's so tight I can't breathe. I'm not struggling. Its grip is getting tighter by the minute. Just when I think my neck is about to burst open, the door bursts open and the room is blinded by light.

I open my eyes like I'm out of breath. The bed is soft. Too soft. Different from my slightly hard bed at home. The clothes feel like paper on my skin. I can hear noises. Distant but enough for me to hear. The room smells like disinfectant.

Fuck. Everything made sense now. I remember everything now. From being pissed at Mum to being at Dorothy's party and… How was Genevieve? I'm desperately hoping that she's okay.

If she isn't, I'm cooked. I try to get up but pain shot through my entire body. I collapsed back on the bed. I grunt in pain. Why was I acting like I don't understand how this usually plays out?

Where is Mum? Is she in trouble because of me? That can't happen. I pull the bed covers off my body and in pain, came down the bed. I'm so weak that it's hard to walk.

At that moment, Mum comes in. She is dressed in her usual tank top and black tights. Her face looks like it had aged by ten years. Her hair was a mess. Her face, more messier. How long have I been here for her to look like this?

“You weren't thinking of leaving the room were you?" She went to the table at the side of the bed putting down the bag she had brought in and clearing the empty paper cups of coffee on it. There were about six cups.

“I was looking for you." I responded weakly. I focus on her as she went round the ward, pulling the curtains, looking under the bed, dusting the bed, moving the chairs even though they are perfectly arranged.

If I didn't know her well, I wouldn't think much of it but I do and I know well she's doing all of it to keep herself from talking to me. “I'm sorry." Mum flung the dust towel down and faced me.

"Sorry. Sorry? Latoya you're sorry all the time. Sorry won't fix this. Being sorry wouldn't change what you did to Genevieve okay? Let that get stuck in your always sorry head." I sat up looking at her.

“You don't have to be mean. I didn't want any of this to happen either." This time, she turned, standing by the bedside.

“News flash Latoya, it did. It happened because you are such an angry child and you hate being talked to. You bashed her head because you couldn't let your ego be bruised Latoya.”

“Your ego would be your end.” I smirk in disbelief. I can't believe she's saying this. She's not the only one hurt. I'm f*****g hurt as well. Am I? I feel terrible.

“I can't believe you're saying this. I'm hurt as well Mum, I am. I'm not a monster. Stop talking to me like I'm one." I turned from her and faced the window. My eyes are teary. Like I wasn't feeling worse. Again, do I really feel sorry?

"You are. You're a terrible monster that drags everyone with you to hell. My life has always been down because of you. I'm sick Latoya, I'm sick. There's only little I can do as a mother.”

She was crying. The door opened and she left. I brushed my tears off. I can't be weak. This whole rodeo wasn't new. I'm used to it already.

I've always been an angry child. Throwing tantrums and wrecking things at the slightest provocation.

It all seemed normal for a little child but then, things started turning slowly. It wasn't just anger anymore. It was something deeper than rage. The urge to take out anyone or anything who crossed me.

There was something inside of me operating darkly. I was eight. We lived in Brooklyn at the time. The neighbour’s daughter had come over to play. We were in my room playing with my toys that mum had just bought for me.

The silly brat kept taking my Barbie doll, refusing to drop it. I kept telling her to hand it over. At the time I couldn't explain the feeling in me. All I knew was that I wanted to stop her. I grabbed her and dug into her neck with my teeth.

The poor girl was yelling and struggling but I didn't stop. I kept going. Where I got the strength to hold her down, I can't explain. When Mum finally came in, my teeth had dug in deep enough to create a little gash in her throat.

Bits of skin stuck between my teeth. She was taken to the hospital and till today, I have no idea how mum settled it. I never asked questions. All I knew was we left Brooklyn the next day never to return there. After that, it happened five more times.

Moving farther away each time it happened. My life's well and truly f****d. I went to the window looking outside.

What it would feel like to be a normal teenager going to parties, football games, friends with the popular kids in school, dating Connor…

Oh s**t!! Connor! How could I have forgotten? Ignoring the pains all over my body, I rushed to the table to grab my phone. “Jeez! How could I have forgotten? What if he doesn't respond to me?"

My whole body is tense with excitement. Before passing out in the car, Connor had messaged me.

"I'm in love with you Latoya.” My whole body is hyper. I could faint. That's probably why I fainted in the car.

Connor loves me? My life is playing out like a fairytale. Maybe all these while he was so shy to tell me. I'm literally bouncing on the bed as I text him back.

Me: I feel the same way Connor. I've loved you for the longest. I'm so happy. I'm sorry I didn't respond on time. I had something to take care of.

I take a deep breath so I don't pass out. My phone buzzed immediately. He replied!!

Connor: It's alright. I know you would not ignore me.I'm obsessed with you Latoya. You're going to be at my party right?

Me: You're so sweet. Of course. It's on Saturday yeah? I wouldn't miss it for the world🥰

Connor: Cool. See you on Saturday. Can't wait.

Me: Me too.

I drop my phone on the bed, giggling and tossing on the bed. All of my problems are forgotten.

I don't care about any of that for now. Mum would fix it. Right now, I'm thinking about what I would wear to look sexy for Connor on Saturday.

I can't miss this golden opportunity for nothing. I'm rolling my hair in my hand, smiling and shifting on the bed when Mum comes back in. I quickly arrange myself. Mum was staring at me with contempt.

“I can't believe you are here having fun. You've moved on from the mess you caused huh?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "I was only thinking of something.” "Thinking of Connor right?” I looked at her in surprise. How did she know about Connor? Did she go through my phone?

"Connor what? I don't know what you are talking about.”

Mum chuckled and sat on the bed, holding my hands. Her eyes looked drained with the dark bags underneath it. She looks scary right now.

"Latoya, when will you stop? Until I burn with you?”

I pulled my hands away from her. "I won't. If having the freedom to rule my life the way I want is hell for you, then I'll make sure you rot in there.”

She slapped my face, panting hard, her breaths coming out in bits. I held my face, gritting my teeth.

“Latoya I'll drag you to hell before you can do it to me. You think Connor loves you? He f*****g doesn't you fool."

She grabbed my head, tossing it to the side. “He's the reason you're like this. He made you a monster. f*****g listen Latoya! He hates you."

With all the strength in me, I pushed her off me. “He doesn't. You are the monster!! You're the reason I'm this way. How long did you think I would remain oblivious huh?" I got off the bed, moving towards her menacingly.

My voice didn't sound like mine. I cornered her to the wall and whispered in her ear. "I know your little secret mother.”