ALMOST EIGHTEEN.

CHAPTER THREE.

I'M LOST.

Don't allow no one deceive you. Secrets can't be hidden forever. You're only prolonging the truth from being discovered.

I think it's cute knowing the truth about someone but keeping it to yourself and one day, BOOM, you expose it.

What mum doesn't know is that I'm a perfect replica of her. Her pretty little monster. I'm much worse than she knows. After hearing that I know her secret, her face is completely drained of life. I like that.

I'm alone in the ward spreading my bed. It's a good thing that I have a personal room. It would have been too sad if someone had heard our mother and daughter talk.

Since being at the hospital, I haven't gone outside the room nor has anyone come in.

Was she keeping me in hiding? More importantly, why haven't we moved from here. If my guess is right, we have been in the hospital for three days.

I'm desperate to know how Genevieve is doing? I hate the girl but I feel sorry for her. The voice speaks. "Latoya do you?"

I ignore it. Now is not the time.

Mum hasn't said anything about her. I'm hoping she's doing okay. If she isn't or worse, if she's dead, I'm definitely going to jail.

Genevieve's dad is a top attorney. One with an infamous reputation for doing anything and everything to get his way.

What would be done to the girl who bashed his daughter's head? Nothing good I'm sure. My phone buzzed. What a way to lighten my mood.

It's Connor. My heart throb. The handsome twelfth grader, captain of the football team, the only son of Cane Haland, Governor of Texas.

It was sports day in school. I hated sports day because it was literally a day of moving about, sweaty and hot. There was nothing exercising about it. I was in sixth grade then. We had been divided into two to play soccer. The girls against the boys.

I was so not into it and was only moving lazily sometimes running so Mr Jackson the PE teacher wouldn't call me out. Tory the goalkeeper made a counterattack to defend their post, launching the ball straight for my head.

One minute, the ball is heading for me the next, I'm out. I woke up in the health room to see Connor sitting by my side. He was the one who brought me into the room, ditching the game. Connor stayed with me till Mum came to pick me up.

That was when I fell in love with him. After that day, he never spoke to me again and when I tried to, he never had the time to respond to me. It's a fairytale that somehow, he remembers and wants me.

Connor: Hey baby. How are you?

Me: I'm doing okay😊 how about you?

I was laying on my stomach smiling wide, my legs playing in the air.

Connor: I'm cool. I want to hear from my girl.

My girl!? Connor called me his girl? I'm in heaven. God, I don't want this to end.

Me: Aww that's so sweet of you. I'm so excited that we are talking.

Connor: Me too. I want to see you badly.

I'm having literal goosebumps right now. He wants to see me so bad!! What would we do when he sees me? My mind starts thinking dirty.

Me: Same here. I can't wait for us to see. Tha…

The door opened with so much force that I jolted up. Mum came in looking more crazy. What the hell is her problem?

She stood at the door, trembling and covering her mouth, tears trickling down. “Mum, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

She shut the door and slumped onto the couch opposite the bed, her face a wet mess. "Genevieve is dead.” I looked at her then to my hands and round the room.

“How sad." Mum looked at me in horror. “What did you say?" “She's dead, how sad."

"Are you insane Toya? What is going on in your head?” She looked like she was about to cry. How many f*****g times would she cry. I should be sad, scared and feel bad but I don't. I can't force emotions can I?

I'm not happy nor am I sad. What's operating in me is much darker than I can explain. “I can't pretend to be sad can I?"

I was getting irritated. Why was she acting like she's some sort of saint? Desperate to change the subject, I asked her when we were going to leave. We'll probably end up in Antarctica this time.

“You're crazy" she scoffed and went to face the window with her hands in her pocket.

“You're probably wondering why we're still in the hospital." She faces me with a smile. “We're stuck baby. There's nowhere to go again. I've run out of ideas. You think for us this time. That would be good won't it?"

“How did Genevieve die?" “She's a fragile girl. Her face sustained severe fractures from you bashing it. She died this morning. Soon, her father will be hunting for you and when he does, you're gone Latoya.”

"That would be better , don't you think? I laughed wryly. “You won't have to keep cleaning my mess." “Yeah you're right. It would be such a relief."

“You said you knew my secret. Care to put me on?” I turned to the other side in a sleeping position. “I like suspense."

She laughed loudly, hitting her hand against the bed. “We should get your head checked before leaving. Save that suspense for later. You'll need it."

"You better not be in contact with that Connor boy.” "What if I am? Like you can stop me.” She pulled my arm for me to face her. "You don't ever listen do you? I'll kill you and him if I ever see you both together, understand?”

This b***h has to be kidding me. I pushed her hands off and faced her. “Who do you think has the higher chance of murdering the other" It's not a question.

You know something about Connor that I don't? One of your naughty secrets? Why are you so insistent about him?"

“Since you know my secrets,you should know that too. You wouldn't dare have nothing to do with that bastard." I laughed hard. Little did she know that I would see Connor on Saturday.

“You can't keep controlling me you monster. You can't!" I said tightening my facial muscles. It was moving already. It's restless. It's trying to break free. I shifted back from her. I'm not about to have another episode.

"You'll hurt me?” She had fear in her eyes. Oddly, that made me happy. I walked slowly round the room, my hands crossed at my back.

“Too much noise. Too loud. No one's listening. They're in their own world. Angry, bitter, deep resentment. No one cares. Do you get the gist?"my voice has changed. No one can hear the change except me.

"Latoya… what are you saying?” She was speaking slowly now. “You don't have to get it now. You will later. I'm not stupid to draw my sword completely out of the sheath." I leaned close to her and whispered slowly “when I do, it will be deadly.”

I went back to lay on the bed. “That will be all mother. No more disturbance. I wouldn't want to hurt you."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I'm not going to let her keep messing with my head. “I'll be outside." Her voice was hoarse. I ignored her.

What would happen now? We're at a dead end. What would Genevieve's dad do to me? Lock me in jail forever? Put an end to the freedom I've desperately craved even before it starts? This isn't fair. Why can't I have a normal teenage life?

I heard the door open but I didn't bother to look. It's definitely Mum. She's done with the fake tears. I plan to ignore her for a while.

“Latoya?" I froze. That's definitely not mum. Why was this voice oddly familiar? I looked up slowly to see Connor standing at the door. This has to be a dream. Mum was right. I have to get my head checked.

My prince charming, dressed in an all black suit, his hair permed, his face? A masterpiece. I could never get used to this handsome man. I walked to him nervously.

"Connor? What are you doing here? How did you know I'm here?” He smiled at me with his outstretched arms. "Come in for a hug?” I hugged him, my heart beating fast.

He broke the hug and looked at me. His face in a grin. "I wanted to see you."

"I feel the same. I'm surprised you know I'm here. I didn't tell you that.” I don't know how to feel about him showing up here. He doesn't know about my condition. He can't.

He held my face, looking into my soul.

"Well, I was worried that you didn't respond to my message so I had to come see you.” “Okay?” Why do I feel this way?

" Hold on baby, aren't you excited to see me?” I smiled at him. "Of course I am. Why won't I be?” I have a million and one questions to ask Connor starting with how he found me here.

I can bet my life that Mum has nothing to do with this or does she? “Anyways, how are you feeling? Are you doing okay now?" I raised my hands playfully. “As you can see, I am."

“Great. I have something to t…" “Latoya f*****g pack your things now." Mum stopped in her tracks. Her eyes darkened, her lips lifting at the side, her fists in a ball.

“WHY THE f**k ARE YOU HERE?” Mum thundered moving towards Connor. I want to do something but instead, I stand still.

Connor had a grin on his face. "Pleasure to meet you again Mrs Wilson.” "It's no f*****g pleasure to meet you bastard.” Mum pulled me to her side. "I warned you to stay away from my daughter.”

He laughed loudly. "But that wasn't the agreement Mrs Wilson.” Mum dropped my hands trembling. Connor having a look I don't like on his face, Me? I'm lost.