Phoenix Falling

Chapter 10

    When we woke in the morning the sun was burning down on us. When did I become the kind of girl who slept in the bed of pick up trucks. I wondered. When did I become the kind of girl who partied without a drink? how long had it been? For a year I barely went a day without drinks. It had been weeks. We crawled out of the bed. Said good - bye to everyone and Liam took us to the IHOP. 

"Sorry we missed our date." He said as he slid into the booth beside me. 

"That's ok. This was better." I smiled at him. Chuck made a puking sound. 

"Oh gross. Get a room." He said, winking at me. I kicked him under the table. He started to laugh. 

"That foots fake Liv, I didn't even feel that." He laughed hard. Oh my god. I didn't even know what to say. He had taken it so well. He had been going to physio multiple times a week. He had been seeing a therapist. But honestly he was just the kind of person who handled curve balls well and he had been getting better and better by the day.  We ordered stacks of pancakes.  I noticed the waitress eyeing up my boys and I was happy to see that she was just as interested in Chuck as she was Liam.  Who was I kidding though.  I had myself two pieces of arm candy, although one was just turning into my one of my best friends.  They both headed to the restroom after we had ordered.  I looked at the table to see Liam’s phone, a name I didn't want to see on the screen. Anna.  I had a momentary mental argument and then I picked it up opening it. 

Hey hot stuff. Are you busy?

Fuck seriously? I shouldn't be reading this. This a total intrusion. He would never go through my phone. I got out of there, I was better than that. I would let him tell me why he was doing Anna but he wasn’t doing me? I needed to talk to the girls tonight.  I needed to be away from him.  I needed to get my head straight.  This hurt, but I knew I deserved it.  When the guys sat back down I plastered a smile on my face.  

“What are you doing tonight?”  Liam asked me sweetly.  I was tempted to say something smart.  But instead. 

“I was going to invite the girls over tonight.”  I said,  trying to cover the my hurt. But it kept building. I needed a distraction so I pulled out my phone and texted the girls.  

Sleepover?

I knew that they would both jump on it.  They loved my place.  My emotions were not steady though and I fought saying what I really wanted to say to Liam.  Being pregnant didn’t help the fact that I already suffered from no filter over my mouth.  I swallowed hard, fought back tears and said quietly. 

“Anna text you”  I refused to look at him but I could feel his eye’s boring into me.  I could sense chuck awkwardly trying to pretend we weren’t there.  Or he wasn’t there.  So he knew about the Anna bullshit too.  Neither one had the decency to tell me anything about it.  Liam still hadn’t answered me when my phone dinged twice.  

Yay!

Norra said enthusiastically.  Peyton’s response was of course just as energetic.  

Hell yes, I’ll bring pizza!

The awkward feeling around our booth created a tension that could be cut with a knife.  Liam was still looking at me, and I felt him sigh. 

“I’m not sure what you know or how.  But that is nothing.”  He said quietly.  He reached for my arm but I pulled away.  I didn’t want to cry here and if he touched me I would.  He waved for the waitress and paid for our breakfast.  I headed towards the truck.  To Chuck’s side.  I lifted myself up and crawled into the back seat.  I didn’t want to touch him.  Pulling my sunglasses down over my eyes I buckled up and waited for him to get in.  He did and then he turned to face me, 

“Really Olivia? We’re going to fight over this?”  He asked me and I didn’t much appreciate his tone either.  

“I’m not fighting, I just don’t want to be near you right now.”  I said sadly.  He slammed his door and started the truck accelerating too quickly out the parking lot.  The ride home was silent.  When he pulled into his yard I jumped out my door and headed home.  He beat me there though and when I tried to go around him he grabbed me.  Pulling me into his arms.  I broke down and let a tear slide onto his shoulder. 

“Olivia, she’s nothing please.  Don’t cry about this.  I promise.”  He said quietly.  It made me even more mad.  

“Yea, nothing. Just Anna, Anna, my dad’s partners daughter, the girl who hates me, who’d do anything to hurt me.  You slept with her.”  I cried trying to pull away.  But he didn’t let me go. 

“Olivia, you left me remember?" He said, suddenly defensive. I knew he was right. Why was this any different. He had every right. 

"You were sleeping with Connor. Please don’t do this to us.”  He pleaded still holding me tightly.  I quit fighting and let myself process that. I did leave him.  I did make it so that his could happen and really I had no right to be mad.  I tried to breathe through my tears.  

“Olivia, I never made love to her. She's my realtor. That's all. She was sleeping with Chuck."  He whispered.  

"What?" I asked confused. 

"He's sleeping with her not me. She's just selling my house. Please believe me." He pleaded with me. Oh my god. I am stupid. I nodded and reached up to wipe my tears.  

“K,.”  I said into his chest.  

"Please don't sell the house." I said quietly. 

“Done.”  He said kissing my hair and hugging me tightly again.  I wiped at my face again.  

“Now quit crying the girls are here and I don’t need them hating me too.”  He said joking.  I shook my head. 

“I don’t hate you.”  I said poking him in the belly.  He kissed me sweetly on the lips as Norra and Peyton made their way up the drive.  

“I’ll see you at two tomorrow.”  He said quietly so they couldn't hear wiping a final tear from my face.  I smiled and nodded.  Then I let the girls into the house.  Mom, Harry and Tim were in the living room watching TV.  Heather was having a nap in her playpen.  

“Hey girls.”  Mom said to us smiling.  

“You girls having a sleepover tonight?  Tim asked us brightly.  We nodded happily.  After lunch we visited with my mom and Heather while Harry and Tim went out to the golf course. 

“It’s so cool that your two dad’s get along like that!”  Peyton said as they left together.  Happily chatting about some sports teams.  I smiled at her and mom laughed. 

“Tim has always been an extremely accepting man.  But it is amazing that they can be so friendly with each other.”  My mom said to Peyton. We spent the afternoon chatting about boys. I was careful to keep myself out of the conversations. Instead aiming towards Peyton and Norra's love lives. 

"Norra is seeing Owen again." Peyton said, letting me in on the news. I smiled. I was glad for her Owen was a nice guy. When my mom asked Peyton who she was with, Peyton simply smiled. Peyton wasn't tying herself down anytime soon. We all knew that one.  

 At around eight mom took Heather to bed and the girls and I went up to my room shutting the door and getting into our PJs.  This had become our thing.  We munched on popcorn and chips and laughed with each other.  It was Peyton who finally brought the somber talk. 

“OK girl.”  She said looking at me intently.  Her eye’s focused directly on mine.  I couldn’t hold her gaze.  

“Tell me what is going on?”  She said.  I sighed, she knew about the baby.  She knew things, she always did.  

“I’m pregnant.”  I sputtered out embarrassed.  She nodded like she had already known.  But Norra gasped.  Putting a hand over her mouth.  

“It’s Connor’s?” Peyton asked me ignoring Norra’s outburst.  I nodded shyly.  

“I know he’s the dad, but I honestly don’t think it’s wise for him to be in your life and if Liam is willing to accept you and a baby that's how it should be.  This secret goes no farther.”  Peyton said, looking at Norra, who nodded in agreement. 

"You done drinking?" She asked me, looking into my eyes.

"I haven't had a sip since I found out." I promised her. 

"I mean, you can't be partying like you were with Connor. I was starting to worry." She said, grabbing my hands. What did she mean? I was fine until the last month of our relationship. 

"Liv, you were needing to have a drink. That's a bad thing." She said seriously. I nodded. But thinking to myself. Did I need to drink? I didn't think so. Well once in a while.... Only on bad days. s**t. She was right. I had become reliant on it to get me through the bad days. 

"Peyton, I'm fine." I promised her. I should maybe tell Liam this revelation. I smiled at them and pulled them into a hug.  Thank god that was over.  Now all that was left was my parents.  Oh god, and Liams...  They probably hated me.  

“It’s just the four of us that know right now.  We wanted to wait so that it wouldn’t be something anyone would guess.”  I said too them quietly.  They both agreed that was wise.  Then Norra said, 

“Ok, now what’s going on with you and Liam.  You were crying when we got here.”  Dammit Norra choose one time to pay attention to your surroundings.  I thought to myself.  Ok, I guess they could support me on this too.  This is why I chose to have girlfriends.  

“Anna texted Liam last night and honestly it really bugged me because I thought he was sleeping with her while I was with Connor. But he say's he wasn't”  I blurted out.  They both looked at each other then back at me.  

“Oh Liv, get over it.”  Norra said, surprising me once more.  

“What?” I asked her stunned.  I was honestly confused, she never spoke up to me like that.  She never spoke up to anyone like that.  

“Liam adores you, he does nothing but dote on you. If he said he wasn't with her he wasn't. He has never lied to you. You’re the one who dumped him did you expect him to just sit back and watch you be with Connor?”  She said quietly.  I shook my head.  No she was right.  

“You’re right Norra, I know.  I gotta have a shower I smell like a campfire.  I’ll be right back.”  I said, I actually needed to get away from them more than anything.  They were right.  My face was beat red with shame. God, I had been an i***t. Literally a stupid i***t for a year.  Under the hot water of she shower I calmed, the soap washing away the smell of the smoke. When I came out of the steamy shower they were sitting on the floor. I sat beside them crossing my legs.

"I'm coming back to Phoenix for school." I let them know. Norra clapped her hands and jumped up and down. 

"Well actually I haven't been accepted yet. But I applied here." I said. Peyton smiled at me. She was obviously happy about this. Norra stood up and walked over to open the french doors for some air. Suddenly she dropped to the floor and peered around the curtains. 

“What are you doing?”  I asked her.  She just waved me over towards her.  I walked over as she grabbed my hand trying to pull me to the floor.  I pulled my hand away and glared at the parked car in Liam’s driveway.  Anna.  Seriously? We just had this f*****g conversation.  Fury spread through my body. 

"I am going over there." I said angrily turning to march over there. 

"Wait!" Peyton said. I watched in horror as she appeared in his bedroom. Anna you b***h. Then she walked over to the bedroom window and pulled the curtains wider.  What the f**k. Was she taunting me?

“Get down and watch.  You’re so worried, let’s see what happens.”  She said.  I dropped down beside her.  As Anna pulled off her shirt, throwing it on the floor.  Then she opened the bathroom door.  I could see Liam in the shower, his back to her and she left the door open.

“She knows that I can see her.” I hissed through my teeth.  

“That whore.” Norra spat, surprising the both of us again for the third time tonight.  She was naked now and she opened the shower door, Liam jumped when her hands touched him. I watched his hands throw up as he pulled away from her.  He crawled out the other door wrapping a towel around himself.  

“Damn, Liv.  Good for you. He's hung like a horse”  Peyton said, commenting on his manhood.  I blushed.  But I knew it was true.  I had only guessed so during our time together, but he sure put Connor to shame. He was mad, really mad, I could tell in his face.  She had come into his personal space and obviously she hadn’t been invited.  I stood and started to head out the door.  Peyton however, reached up and grabbed me. 

“Damn it Liv.  Get down and watch.” She said, He was yelling at her. He bent over and grabbed her clothes then thrust them into her arms. He pulled on a pair of pants and then headed out his bedroom door. She dressed quickly chasing him.  I cracked open the door so that we could hear the conversation about to ensue.  They came out the door shortly after.  

“Liam please.”  She begged. Chasing him. 

“I told you this was never going to happen Anna. You said you were just my realtor. You like Chuck." He said loudly, even angry he was so polite though. He walked out onto his lawn and pulled up the for sale sign. 

"I told you that when she came back I was hers and yet here you are trying to ruin that for me?”  He said. He put the sign into her back seat. 

"Just give us a chance please Liam." She begged. 

“Get in your car and leave.”  He said louder.  I smiled happily to myself. Pleased to see her drive away with a huge rejection in her face.  

“I shouldn’t be happy right now, I almost feel bad for her but she should never have come here. She's trying to be a home wrecker.”  I said to the girls.  They agreed in unison.  I stood up so he could see me watching him. Then I stepped out onto the balcony. 

"Liam," I shouted across the road at him. I couldn't tell what he was feeling by his face. But I leaned onto the railing. 

"I love you." I hollered. He smiled then. I didn't give him a chance to answer. I just walked back into my room and closed the door. As I did my eyes drifted to the shoe box of letters sitting on my dresser. I walked over and pulled out the very first one he had sent me after I had told him I was leaving him. The girls were chattering in the background about Anna and how that had gone down. I slid it from it's envelope and began reading it for the millionth time. Something in it had never been answered. 

February 6, 2017

Olivia

To say that I am crushed is an understatement.  You have taken my heart. Ripped it from my chest and stomped on it.  I trusted you Love but I also understand that you are young.  I am going to force myself to believe that you are simply needing some you time and I am going to hope that you get it out of your system. I love you still, no matter what you do to me that will never change.  I don’t want you to be at home and feel lonely and sad.  Do what you need to stay happy darling.  Don’t forget about me please.  I will be home and when I am you and i will be together forever.  When i get home i am going to do my best to win you back and to marry you.  I am not going to give up on you.  Write and call me as much as you want Love because I will never not love you.  

Until we meet again

P:S in my top dresser drawer is something for you.  I wanted to give it to you in a better way.  But since i can’t go get it and do with it what you want. 

I had never looked for what he said was in his drawer. I wondered what it could be. One day I would ask him. But for tonight, at least I had started the I love you's again.  

    ********* Liam ********

    I was so f*****g mad at Anna, Chuck really liked her. What the hell was she doing. I wasn't interested in her that way. I had never been so close to using force to move a woman in my life. I hadn't touched a woman since Olivia. I didn't want any woman but Olivia. God the pain I had felt watching her with Connor. Knowing that he was making love to her. Tasting her beautiful breasts. Her fingers digging into his back. His long slender thighs wrapped around his middle. Feeling her tight tunnel wrap around him. Milking him until he couldn't take it anymore. Obviously they didn't use condoms. If she got pregnant with him while on the shot. That meant she let him spill his seed deep in her. The thought hurt me, stabbing me like a knife right into my heart. God dammit I wanted her. I wanted to be the only one. I had honestly thought I was going to be the only one. I turned to head in the house, I need to talk to Chuck. I met her eyes. There she stood on her balcony, god she was majestic. She didn't believe me when I told her that. She hated her soft womanly curves. I loved them all. The slight pouch on her belly, it was so soft. Her arms, her legs. Everything was just all woman. No solid muscle. I hated women with all that muscle. I had the muscle so she wouldn't have too. I wanted to protect, to keep her safe. She was my equal, my partner. We complimented each other, she was the soft, gentle, beautiful one. I was the tough, muscled rough one. I liked it that way. 

"Liam," She shouted at me. Dammit, she was going to be so mad. Guaranteed she saw the whole thing. She had been mad about a text. It kind of made me laugh, she spent the last year with a different boyfriend. But obviously she had been lost because the moment her hold over me was threatened she was mad. 

"I love you!" She yelled. I smiled instantly. Did she just say she loves me? that's all I had wanted for a year. I had laid awake dreaming of this moment. Praying it would happen.  I wanted her to love me. Love me like I loved her. Then she disappeared. Closing the door behind her. Dammit, I wanted to scale the wall. Climb to that balcony and make love to her all night. But her friends were there. I could see them smiling at me through the doors. It wasn't time yet. I was taking this slow. We had our whole lives together. Right now she needed time to adjust back to us. No pressure. So instead I headed in to go talk to Chuck. 

"Well." He said as I walked through the door. Damn, he'd been sitting there. 

"What was that?" He asked me. I grabbed a beer from the kitchen before answering. Then I sat down on the couch across from me. 

"Man, I'm sorry." I said, he knew me. Knew I would never, could never work my way in on his woman. 

"Yea, I kinda wondered about that." He said, taking a sip from his own beer. 

"Damn, she was a good lay." He chuckled. I laughed, 

"Chuck, you need a real girlfriend." I said. I meant it too. I wondered for a moment if Peyton was single. I always liked her. Brutally honest, a no bullshit kind of girl. Maybe I should take everyone out on the boat. 

"Girls are overrated man." He replied. Poor Chuck had a bad run of luck. I wanted him to be happy. Find a good girl. I didn't answer. I figured Olivia would help me with this. I knew I could do it. I smiled to myself.

"What are you grinning at?" He asked, accusingly. I shook my head. 

"Nothing, I'm tired. See you tomorrow man." I said, rising to leave. Alone in my room I went into the closet. I pulled down the big hat box and set it on the bed. Opening it I revealed my treasures.  A picture of my dad in the army with his best friend. I smiled at it as I laid it aside. A few pictures of Olivia and I. I smiled at those too. Underneath a pile of papers, the box with her bracelet in it. The one I had my mother buy her for Christmas. It had been on my dresser when I had gotten state side. I hated that she hadn't kept it. I pulled it out and set it on the bed. I'm giving that back. I bought it for her. It's beautiful. Then I pulled the little wooden box out from beside that. I cracked it open and smiled. 

    It was different, unique just like her. It was bigger than a carat. A pale Pink Diamond centre. Shaped like a rectangle. Around it was white gold. Fourteen quarter carat diamonds in a halo around it. But around each of those, another halo of diamond chips. It had been my great grandma's. My grandfather had bought it when he was fighting World War I. She had worn it until her death and it had been willed to me. There was only one person I wanted to have it. I put it in the drawer beside my bed. One day, soon. I would give it to her.