Phoenix Falling

Chapter 2

******** Liam ********

    The following May had rolled around quicker than had been expected. I was silently counting the days until I could go back to Phoenix. I had been sent home for a two week break in September but I had decided to give Olivia space. Instead I spent it with my family. The decision to re-up hadn't been taken lightly. But my men had came to me requesting to stay longer. I was both proud of them for their strength and bravery. But also sad, sad that I would be away from her longer. 

    It seemed like any normal morning. We hadn't gotten up, geared up and headed out on rounds. God I hated this dump. It was dusty, dirty and dangerous. You never knew who was going to try and kill you. Could be the three year old walking up the street. Sadly it often was a kid, a kid given a bomb with the task of taking out the American soldiers. My eye's were peeled. Watching for any signs of danger. We rode along in the armoured vehicles. Chuck was driving. 

"You still counting the days?" He asked me, as we tumbled along the shitty rough streets. 

"You know it man." I said nodding. 

"No letters?" He asked. 

"Nope, you'd know if I got one buddy." I said, I meant it too. He was my best friend. I'd always tell him everything. 

"Think she found the ring?" He asked me. I honestly had no idea. If she had she obviously didn't want it. So I simply shrugged. 

"Hold up Chuck." I said, something here didn't feel right. It's not that I saw something wrong. I just had this intuition that bad things were about to happen. At that moment the blast went off. Everything slowed. The enormous sound dazing my brain. We tumbled, over and over into a building. I couldn't think, soon the bullets started. But I couldn't move fast enough to get out. Before I knew it I was being loaded into a helicopter. My brain still dazed. I looked over, Chuck was on the other side. 

"Chuck!" I yelled, the medic tried to calm me. 

"He's unconscious, but he's ok." She said, trying to lay me back down. I began fighting her. Very quickly they sedated me. When I awoke I was in a hospital. A massive headache and a dry throat. In front of me stood a nurse, she was checking on the soldier at the other end of the room. 

"Ma'am" I croaked. She turned around and smiled at me. 

"You're awake. Let me go get the doctor." Before she left she handed me a glass of water. 

"Small sips ok?" She said, I nodded and took a small one. Oh that was good. Shortly after a doctor in a white jacket came in with a clip board. 

"Morning son, looks like you have a bit of a head bump. Other than that I think we can send you back to base tomorrow ok?" He said. I nodded.

"Where's Chuck?" I asked, panicked. 

"You're First Sergeant?" He asked me. I nodded in reply. 

"Yes, he's not as lucky as you I'm afraid. Very bad actually. He's going to lose a leg. He's in prep for travel right now, should be going in about twenty minutes  to the plane. He's off state side for better medical care. " He finished. 

"s**t," I said quietly. 

"Can I see him? Please." I finished, trying to get in. God dammit he's my best friend.  He looked at the nurse who nodded. She then helped me out of bed and led me down the hall. My whole body ached, it hurt to walk.  Chuck looked bad, very bad. He had a bloody bandage wrapped around his arm. His face had massive gashes in it. I couldn't see his leg. I almost dropped to the floor. We had listed together as kids. Thinking we owned the world. I walked over to him. Placed my hand on his. Leaned down and kissed his forehead. 

"I love you brother. Pull through man and come home for me." I whispered, he didn't open his eyes. I knew he was under with drugs and couldn't. I spent the rest of the afternoon worried sick about my best friend. The next day I was shipped back to the base where I learned everyone we had lost three men, 17 wounded including Chuck. My heart hurt for them. But Chuck had made it stateside. I thanked god for that as I laid down in my cot, closed my eyes and drifted off. 

******** Olivia ********

    I heard my cell phone ringing.  This loud annoying ring that refused to stop.  My head was pounding and I rolled over looking for it.  

“f*****g turn that thing off.” Connor moaned in a drunken stupor. His naked legs were entwined with mine. I freed myself of him and I finally found my cell and answered groaning through my hangover. 

“Elo?” 

“Hi is this Miss Olivia Dawson?” A ladies voice said through the line.  

“Yup.” I grunted into the receiver.  

“Hi Miss Dawson.  This is staff sergeant Miller.  I have you on our list for people who volunteer to spend time with wounded soldiers.”  He said brightly.  

“soldiers?” I mumbled half asleep. 

“Yes Ma’am, I have a recently injured First Sergeant who could use some company.” He answered.  I bolted upright.  My head spinning as I did.  I remembered now.  God how much did I drink last night?

“Yes sorry, just a second.” I whispered trying not to wake Connor up.  I slipped on a pair of pants and a t-shirt as Miller continued his conversation.  

“Ma’am, I am sorry If I woke you.” He said sweetly. I creeped out the door to the bathroom my stomach sitting in my throat.  Threatening to empty the contents.  

“How injured is he?” I asked him.  

“Well ma’am he is currently in stable condition.  He needs better medical care, All of his surgeries are complete for right now.”  He said.  

“Where will he be?” I asked the man wondering when I could go to try and helped this injured man.  I had visited dozens of injured soldiers in the last few months.  I didn't tell Connor about it. When I was at school I visited them in Los Angeles. But I had let the office know I was coming home for summer. I was maybe trying to make what I did to Liam better and had chose to repay him by looking after America’s finest the only way I knew how. 

“Phoenix General Hospital. He arrived this morning.”  He answered.  

“Thank you Miller.” I said, turning the phone off before bending over and heaving into the toilet.  When I snuck out the door Connor was still asleep. Probably still drunk.  I had to go to the hospital.  I climbed into my car.  On my phone I typed in the address for the Phoenix General Hospital.  Then I backed out of the drive.  My head was pounding and the sun was making my eyes burn.  I reached for my sunglasses.  It had been a great party last night.  Or maybe it had been a great weekend. I couldn’t really remember how long we had been partying for.  The drive was mundane.  Hard for me to focus really.  My head was throbbing and my eyes were pounding.  I parked in the hospital parking lot.  The doors of the visitor entrance slid open for me.  I walked to the desk.  The lady smiled at me, 

“May I help you?” She asked politely.  I nodded.  

“Yes, I’m sorry.  Ummm I am here to see Sargent… ummm Racine.”  I said trying hard to make my brain work.  She began typing wildly into the computer.  

“Are you family?” She asked me, I lied.  

“Yes, sister.”  I saw her mouth turn up.  She knew that I was lying and she wasn’t going to call me out on it.  

“Room 2442.” She said pointing me down a hall.  I walked down it to the correct door and then rapped gently on it.  

“Come in.”  A voice croaked from inside.  I pushed it gently open and peaked around the door. 

“Hi.”  I said gently as I walked towards him.  He smiled at me.  I couldn’t see immediately what his injury was.  

“Well, aren’t you a pretty sight.”  He said giving me a wink.  I smiled at him.  I liked the ones that were a little spunky.  They were always the ones who came out of this ok.  

“First Sergeant Racine?”  I asked him politely.  He nodded. 

“Call me Chuck.”  He said.  He winced as though he was in pain.  Then he looked at me.

“What’s your name?”  He asked me.  

“Call me Liv.”  I said smiling.  He c****d his head to one side, looking at me oddly.  But then offered me the chair beside him.  

“I just stopped in to see if there was anything that I could possibly do for you.”  I said, offering him my speel.  

“I don’t mind a bit of company.”  He said smiling at me. 

“I haven’t had any conversation with women in months.”  He added quietly.  I smiled at him, but this was where I had to be careful.  I had sworn I would never let myself get close with another soldier.  Sometimes I worried that they thought I would be available for them.

“Well Chuck, conversation I can do.”  I said smiling.  

“How did you get started helping soldiers?”  He asked me as I sat down beside him.  

“I used to be pretty close with an officer.  I felt like I owed him something and I decided that he would approve of me doing this.”  I said quickly.  He smiled at me.  

“How close?” He asked, what a nosey guy he was.  I debated answering him.  I could lie and say we were friends or I could tell the truth.  Not like it mattered either way.  He would never know.  

“The closest.”  I chose to say.  

“What does that mean?” He asked me.  Oh can’t we talk about something else?  What does he care about this for.  

“I don’t even know anymore.  Let’s talk about you.  How are you doing?”  I asked him. 

“Well I lost a leg.”  He whispered sadly.  I reached out to him and took his hand.  This is what I came here for.  To help these men.  

“I’m so sorry.” I said, and I meant it.  I hated that these men had to go through things like this.  There wasn’t anything that I could do for them except be there to help them.  He didn’t want to look at me I could tell and so I chose to sit there.  Holding his hand in silence.  He looked at the roof, avoiding eye contact with me.  I knew eventually he would start to talk.  Finally I couldn’t stay silent any longer.  

“I need a drink.” I said and he burst out laughing.  

“I want a cigarette.”  He said through a chuckle.  I smiled at him.  

“Liv do you have a boyfriend?” He asked me.  I nodded but I didn’t really want to talk about it.  

“You do?” He said, seeming surprised.  

“You’re surprised?” I asked almost hurt at the assumption.  I can’t be that bad can I?

“No, I’m not.”  He answered.  

“Who is he?” He asked.  

"You are sure nosey.”  I said to him teasing him.  But hoping it would deter him from prying farther into my mess of a life.  

“I just want to know what kind of guy got a catch like you.”  He said sweetly.  I smiled.  

“Just a guy.  We go to university together.”  I said avoiding any detail.  If I had learned one thing about soldiers it was to not get close to them.  

“Just a guy?” He prodded.  He wasn’t going to leave this alone if I didn’t give him some information.  

“OK, he’s a friend who was there when I broke up with my last boyfriend and our relationship just kind of turned into dating.”  I answered.  Praying it was enough information.  

“The soldier?”  He asked me.  I nodded.

“What about you?” I asked trying to change the subject.  

“Me?”  He asked me, I nodded and motioned for him to talk.  If he wanted to know so much about me then I expected a bit of sharing from him.  

“I’m single.  Been on the road too long.  Women don’t like to wait for men as long as I’ve been going.”  He said, and I nodded in understanding.  

“Is that what happened to the soldier?” He persisted.  I nodded, but I didn’t want to talk about this.  I could still burst into tears at just the thought of Liam.  I had no idea where he was, or what he was doing.  I knew he wasn’t at home.  But he hadn’t called, he hadn’t wrote.  He was done with me.  

“Why couldn’t you wait?” He asked me quietly.  I looked at him  as he was staring straight into my soul.  I had asked myself that question every day for the last four months.  

“I don’t know.”  I croaked, fighting back the tears.  

“Let’s talk about something less sappy ok?”  I said, changing the subject again.  He nodded but I could tell this conversation wasn’t over.  Why he wanted to know I had no clue.  But he wanted to know about Liam.  We ended up playing a game of crib, then another one. I learned that he had been stationed in Afghanistan since just after Christmas.  He had gotten hurt driving along the street. A bomb had gone off, rolling his truck and his leg and been crushed. The local hospital couldn’t contain his bleeding enough and so he had been transferred state side for better care and an amputation.  When I looked at the clock a few hours later I jumped.  

“Holy s**t, I’m sorry Chuck, I gotta go.” I said grabbing my things and throwing my jacket on. 

“Come back please?” He asked me kindly.  I nodded at him.  I really liked him I had every intention of coming back.  

“Of course.  I’ll be back in a few days.  Take care until then ok?” I asked him.  He smiled and waved me off.  My drive home was upbeat.  Something I hadn’t felt for a while.  I made my way to the kitchen and began making supper for Tim and I.  He came home just as I was pulling a lasagna out of the oven.  I had done a really great job of not letting him see how much partying I had done lately.  He wasn’t strict but he would not appreciate me going out at all hours and having drunken s*x with my boyfriend.  

“Hey dad.”  I said, smiling at him as he walked in.  

“Smells great Olivia.  How was your day?”  He asked me brightly.  I burst into the story about the man I had been helping today.  He smiled at me as he chewed his food. 

“I love that you do that Olivia.  It’s truly a great service to the community.  Those men often just need someone to talk too.”  He said.  Just then my phone dinged.  

I’m outside Liv. Let’s go. 

Connor, of course.  He wanted to go out every night. I usually wanted to go with him. I had gone almost every night since July.  But tonight I actually didn’t want too.  

I forgot, and I’m not feeling the hottest tonight.  Go without me.  Have fun.  

I hadn’t turned him down ever.  Well at least not since we started dating.  I didn’t really want to go.  I figured I could do the dishes up.  Sit at the table and do homework while Tim worked on his cases.  We could spend a bit of time together.  But my thoughts were disrupted by the door bell.  f**k.  

“I’ll get it, you eat.”  Tim said as he stood up.  From the doorway I could hear Connor’s voice.  He followed Tim into the dining room.  

“Hey, can I talk to you?”  He said, staring me down.  I stood and followed him out onto the front porch.  

“Liv, get your s**t.  Let’s go.”  He barked once the door was closed.  

“No.”  I answered, who the hell does he think he is.  I don’t want to go.  I don’t have too.  

“If you will remember.  We promised to be there tonight.  Not me.  We.  So go get your s**t and let’s go.”  He said, louder this time.  

“Connor, I don’t feel like partying tonight.   I just want to go to bed early.”  I said, trying to defuse the situation.  I didn’t really like this side of him, I hated when he got pushy.  I wasn’t one to do what I was told.  

“Liv, I’m not asking.  Now go get it or else.”  He threatened me.  I was stunned.  What the hell?  What do I do.  If I refuse what will he do? I'd never pushed it this far.   

“Connor, you can’t tell me what to do.”  I said, taking a deep breath and controlling my shaking voice.  In all honesty I was a bit afraid of what his reaction might be.  

“Last chance.”  He warned. And as he said it, I noticed a light in Liam’s house.  What? No one had been there in months.  I still had his keys.  But I hadn’t been able to muster up the courage to go in.  I looked curiously at it for a minute and then decided I had better call the police.  Maybe someone had broken in.  

“Connor, I’m not coming and you can’t make me.”  I said bravely.  Then he struck me.  The back of his hand striking directly across my cheek bone. 

“Ah.” I shouted in response bringing my hand to my cheek.  I tried to back away from him but he grabbed me by the upper arm.  Dragging me towards his car. He hadn't ever hit me. Honestly of all the things he was I never thought a woman beater was one of the,. 

“Fine then, we will go and you can leave your s**t here.”  He spat at me.  His finger’s were digging into my skin.  Bruising it.  I tried to pull away but he just gripped me harder.  

“Connor. Please.”  I cried, tears flowing down my cheeks.  

“f**k off Liv.  Get in the f*****g car before I give you something to cry about.”  He shouted it at me as he pushed me into the front seat.  

“Excuse me.  That is no way to treat a lady.”  A voice said from the driveway across the street. My mouth dried, my palms sweated I recognized it immediately.  I swallowed hard trying to find some saliva.  He walked towards us.  His large strong stance intimidating to some.  The light finally reached his face.  His short dark hair and gorgeous dark eyes.  I had missed those eyes.  I had thought that the first time I saw him again I would instantly ball my eyes out.  But instead, I was mesmerized.  Shaken by the sight of him.  I couldn’t even imagine what to say.  What to do.  

“Hello Love.” He said, looking straight into my eyes.  I couldn’t answer back. I was too nervous.  My face burned. He walked directly up to Connor who was standing by my door.  Then he opened it and offered me a hand.  My mind was racing, what in the hell do I do.  If I take it and leave Connor will blow a fit.  But I don’t want to go to this stupid party.  I found myself reaching instinctively for his hand.  It was so warm, he grasped me firmly with his strong grip and helped me out of the car.  When I was safely away from Connor he took another step towards him.  

“She might be your girlfriend now,  there isn't much I can do about that. But let this be your warning.  If I ever see you mistreat her again.  I’ll Kill You.”  He said.  I knew it wasn’t just a threat, but Connor wasn’t about to back down.  

“Hey army freak, I don’t know who you think you are. But you don’t get to just march in here and try and take her back so f**k Off!" He shouted. s**t I needed to defuse this situation.  

“Connor, go to the party.  I’ll call you tomorrow.”  I said, hoping this wouldn’t turn physical.  I didn’t much appreciate fights.  To my surprise he turned and got into his car flipping Liam the bird as he drove away.  There I stood, in the dark on the street with Liam.  He was staring at me, and it made me feel uncomfortable.  I felt guilty.  Guilty for what I had done to him.  Guilty that I had a new boyfriend.  Guilty that I couldn’t look him in the eyes.  

“I thought you weren’t coming back yet?” I asked, stunned at my boldness.  

“Yea well, my unit got blown sky high.  Three dead and seventeen wounded beyond repair so here I am.”  He said curtly.  I looked at him then, checking for damage to him.  He looked intact.  But I had learned from my sponsorships that he could be hiding those wounds.  

“Are you ok?” I asked him, hoping he had all his limbs and mostly all of his sanity.  

“No.”  He answered simply.  

“Where are you hurt?” I asked him quickly.  Oh please don’t let it be too bad.  He responded by grasping my hand which I never had the time to retract before he placed it directly above his heart. 

“Oh.”  I gasped, he meant I had hurt him.  In truth I had hurt us both.  The awkward silence returned.  I took my hand back and stared at my feet.  I could feel his eyes boring into me.  Reading me like a book.  

“Olivia, you don’t look well.”  He said startling me.  What? I’m not really sick I thought to myself.  He grasped a piece of my hair. 

“Your hair is dull, your skin dry and your eyes are sunken.  What is wrong?”  He asked.  I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me.  I felt fine.  Why would he say that?  

“Nothing.”  I answered still not looking at him. 

“Look at me.”  He pleaded.  But no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t. 

“I can’t.”  I whispered quietly.  He grasped my chin between his thumb and forefinger.  Tipping it back so that I was looking directly at him.  

“You need more sleep and less Connor.”  He stated his eyes searching me for something that I didn’t understand.  I nodded though because I knew Connor wasn’t healthy for me.  He leaned down and kissed my cheek where Connor had hit me.  

“Don’t ever let him hit you again ok?” He requested.  I nodded.  I had no intention of it.  

“Go in that house and get your butt to bed.  That’s not a request.”  He said turning me and pointing me to the house.  I walked slowly in and to the kitchen.  

“I thought you’d be going out with Connor?” Tim said from the dining room.  

“I don’t want to I have some homework to do and I’m tired.”  I said loudly as I put dished into the washer.  

“Oh good, you’ve been going out too much anyway.”  He said as he flipped the page on his document.  

“Liam’s home.” I blurted.  I felt him stall.  His eyes on me.  Even though my back was too him.  

“Well that’s exciting.  How is he?”  He asked me.  

“Fine.”  I answered.  

“I’m going to bed dad.”  I called as I started my way up the stairs.  

“Night honey.”  He answered.  I could feel him still watching me as I walked numbly up each stair.  

“Mhmm.”  I answered absently.  Closing my bedroom door I dropped on to my knees leaving the lights off.  Crawling over to the French doors I looked across the street at Liam’s house.  His bedroom light was on. I felt like a total creep but I couldn’t help it.  The curtains were open. He walked out in front of the curtain. I was certain on purpose. Likely knowing I was watching. He pulled his shirt off.  Jesus Christ he got more muscles.  His back rippled as he moved his arms.  He walked to the bathroom turning the shower on.  Then walking back into the bedroom.  He had really been working out a lot.  His abs were huge.  That little v on his hips was extremely prominent. It made my mouth water.  Olivia, quit staring.  I thought to myself and I started crawling towards my bed when he undid the top button on his jeans.  I stopped. He lowered the zipper and I watched as he lowered his bottoms freeing his manhood.  Well that hadn’t changed, except the fact that it now lacked any hair whatsoever.  

“Oh.”  I gasped, I felt the desire for him start in my belly and slowly my entire body lit on fire.  He turned and walked into the bathroom leaving the door open while he crawled into the shower.  I stared watching the water cascade over his muscles.  I was fighting the desire to run over and join him.  But I knew I couldn’t.  Ding.

Hey Olivia, I’m really sorry.  I shouldn’t have hit you.  Can I come over after the party?

Connor, of course.  I slinked away from the window.  Crawling into my bed.  

It’s ok I’ll see you tomorrow at school, I need to catch up on my sleep.  

A few minutes later my phone dinged again.  

Ok, I love you.

I chose not to reply. I had never told him I loved him.  Because I didn’t love him.  I couldn’t think that he loved me either. What kind of man would hit a woman he loved?