THE KILLER WITHIN

She tried to kill me

Anything can alter your happiness in a short period of time and your life can suddenly transform in a blink of an eye. It doesn't take time for the table to turn and for things to change from the normal way they were to abnormal. Just like the unexpected and sudden death of Atinuke my planned out life and that of my family changed completely and never to return to the way it used to be.

The death affected everyone in the house in ways unimaginable. I have never seen so many people shed tears until that period, but I cried the most in the house. I don't think that even Mama who was the mother of Atinuke cried as much as I did. It didn't take long before those who came to offer condolences left us.

My family offered seven days intense prayers for the purpose of the death and also to help rid us of more problems. After seven days everyone dispersed leaving us and ourselves with just pain.

We didn't know that Mama died together with Atinuke, we only saw Mama confining to herself but we didn't know that a huge part of her followed her daughters ghost and that as we buried Atinuke we buried Mama too.

To think that an eight year old had so much effect on us that even though we all knew that Mama could have still delivered another child in a short time we still clung to her memories and didn't let go of the pain.

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I tried as much as I could to go back to my normal routines which were: going for jamb lessons, going to Islamic school and helping my parents at home. I was preparing to write my second jamb exam before the incident.

It became hard when I  tried to learn something new because every now and then the image of Atinukes dead body would flash in my mind making me stop whatever I was doing.

My sister and I had similar features but we didn't look alike. We were the type of sisters who would have to tell you that they were sisters before you could figure it out. The similarities in our features were mostly our hands, feet and bulb noses.

Atinuke resembled her mom completely. Mama was fulani, she had features that made you know that she was fulani from first sight. Atinuke had longer hair than me; her hair was long black and silky. She had bigger eyes than mine and had a fairer skin than mine.

I look more like my father's mother than my father and mother. My father didn't resemble his mother but his father and I didn't resemble him but his mother.

My father was a Yoruba man, my mother was Yoruba too but Mama was Fulani from Adamawa.

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I think of my sister as a ray of sunshine whose birth brought brightness and liveliness into our home. It was so difficult trying to put her death behind because she was a child that came after eleven years of my birth.

I remember the day her mother was brought into our home, I was eleven then. That day I was in my room watching TV when she was brought in, it was 8:00pm and there was so much yodeling. My mother called me countless times before I left the TV show I was watching to go and welcome Mama.

Mama's real name is Rahama meaning grace. When I got to the parlor was the moment a lady unveiled Mama and I must say that for an eleven year old she was one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, I stood still in my spot unable to move closer to Mama to say hello to her. My mom had to drag me.

I was made to sit in front of Mama as my mother sat beside me, my mother has the best smile you will ever see on a woman's face. She smiled brightly as  she brought Mama's shy face up; she also said, "Peace be upon you and welcome to your new home. My name is Farha and this is my daughter Kulthum."

To be very honest, Mama's face made me speechless. I was extremely shy and nervous so I didn't know what to say, beads of sweat began to show on my black skin I only smiled back at her.

But if only we could have seen through time and into the future then maybe we would have escaped what was coming for us.

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I picture Atinuke with the angels, smiling brightly as she affects them with her contagious smile. I feel my sisters spirit watching over me. I used to picture her running into the house with sand all over her body like she used to. I would see her running into my arms as she smiles widely and opens her bright symmetrical white eyes and as she calls me "Sister" I missed her severely.

I remember when the problems in my home started it after my cousin Aisha returned to the village, it was then Mama began to act strangely and I was the only one who noticed because: My father, Usman was a trader he owned two shops in Munshin Lagos state and he went back to work the day after Aisha, my cousin left our house. My mom was a primary school teacher, she also went back to work on the same day with Baba.

Mama was the only one who didn't have a passion for work and during that period I was preparing for my jamb exams so I and Mama were the only ones who stayed at home.

Atinuke used to be the life of the house because she would entertain everyone with her innocence but ever since Mama told me to stay out of her way I tried my possible best to not be seen by her.

My dad was worried he didn't know how to bring his wife back on track and he was trying his best. He stopped staying in my mom's room when he noticed that Mama needed him more and my mom understood.

While I was preparing for the examination that would determine my entry into the university for the second time, I couldn't bring myself to read anything because it felt unfair to her. How could I be reading while my sister laid six feet under? How could I begin to live a normal life when Atinukes was still warm in her grave.

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I only began to take Mama's threat seriously when she attempted to hit a pestle on my head. It was from there onwards that I knew that I had to save myself from Mama. Thank God Baba was there to intervene and stop her.

I had just finished reading the little I could when I felt severe hunger. If I had known that Mama was in the kitchen I wouldn't have entered because like my mom told me to avoid her I also told myself to avoid her.

When I entered the kitchen my mind was on my phone as I played snake senzia it was only when I hit something that I took notice of my surroundings. I didn't know that I had hit Mama even knocking out the cup of tea she was holding.

Before I could complete the word sorry Mama had run to the motar to grab a pestle and she dashed back in attempt to hit me but that was when Baba entered the kitchen and when he understood the situation he ran up to Mama and collected the pestle.

"What is wrong with you." Baba said yelling at her but it was like she was a zombie because no matter the amount of yelling she only stood and stared at me.

It was then that I began to be afraid that something terrible might happen to me. It was then Mama's words on Atinuke funeral day began to repeat in my head. But this isn't even the beginning it was just a tip off the ice berg.