The Chief | Touch Me Not, Love Me Still

Larissa My name is Larissa Souza. I'm 19 years old, and I live in Favela X with my father, Fernando, and my 1-year-old son Henrique. My mother died three years ago in a shootout between the drug dealers from the hill and the civil police; she was an accidental victim of a stray bullet. We never found out whose bullet actually hit her. My older sister Déborah said not to investigate it as it would only cause us more pain. My sister disappeared a year after mom's death, and we never found out where she was again. We searched desperately in hospitals, with the police, and around the favela, but no one had any news. ... 2 years ago... I was always very studious, and I got a scholarship at a renowned school in my city. I would leave school and go straight home to study. My dream was to become a lawyer. My friends always invited me to go to the dance parties, but I never went. I don't like the favela parties because the police always invade and shootouts happen. I was lying on my bed reading a book, my father was at the local bar drinking, and my sister was getting ready to go to the dance. Déborah: Put that book down, Lari, let's go to the party. Larissa: I need to study to get out of the favela. Déborah: You have something between your legs that can take you wherever you want, just open your legs. Larissa: But I don't want to use it for those purposes. Déborah: Come on. It will be fun. We'll have a good time, and your friends will be there, too. After she insisted a lot, I agreed to go with her. I quickly got ready, wore dark blue denim shorts and a white tank top, and wore black sneakers. Déborah was wearing a short red dress and heels. We went down the hill to the square where the dance was happening. We met a group of Déborah's friends; she hugged them all, but I didn't like any of them. My sister has some strange friends. She approached me with one of the guys. Déborah: This is the sister I told you about. Someone: Hey, babe. Deborah: This is Frajola. Frajola is the boss of the hill, oh my God, look who Déborah is getting involved with, this is not going to end well at all. He smiles at me, and I give a sheepish smile back. Larissa: I'm going to find my friends. Frajola: Cool, we'll bump into each other around. I don't intend to run into you ever, buddy. I didn't like my sister's friends; this Frajola guy looked at me in a way that made me uncomfortable, which is why I don't like going to these kinds of places, it's just full of strange people. I walked through the crowd until I found my friend Manu. Manu: I can't believe you came. I met Manu at the private school; she was the only one who didn't make jokes about me living in the favela. On the contrary, she always defended me from the mean jokes. Larissa: I'm here. Manu: Come on, let's dance. She really likes to dance funk. I like that too but I don't like to attend parties. I'm afraid of the drug dealers. We were dancing when I felt a hand on my waist and someone grinding against me. Larissa: Hey! Frajola: Come on, babe, I know you want it. I pushed him away, Manu grabbed my arm, and we went to dance somewhere else. It's already 3 in the morning, the party ended early, the police are coming up the hill, Manu left, and I stayed waiting for Déborah. Déborah: Let's go, Lari. We started climbing the stairs to head home and spotted two guys standing there. Déborah: Wait here for me. Lari: Déborah, don't leave me here alone. Déborah: I'll be right back, don't worry. I'm waiting for Déborah, but I'm scared to death. She's talking to the guys, they go into a house, and I'm left standing there with my heart in my throat. A few minutes later, Frajola shows up. Just what I needed, right? Frajola: Hey Lari, Déborah asked me to walk you home. Larissa: I'll wait for her here. Frajola: She's going to have fun, if you know what I mean. Larissa: I'll wait. Frajola: Come on, babe, I'll walk you home, no problem. I reluctantly agree to let him walk me home, and we climb the stairs in silence. Frajola: Let's go this way, it's faster. Larissa: I've never heard anyone say it's faster that way. Frajola: No one knows the favela better than I do. I'm the boss, remember? Larissa: I think we should take the usual route. Frajola: This way, you'll be home in two minutes. We enter the alley he claimed was faster, climbing stairs I'd never seen. At a certain point, he starts grabbing me. Larissa: Stop it, Frajola, let me go! Frajola: I know you want to, Lari, no need to play hard to get. Larissa: I don't want to, let me go. He tears my blouse and pins my arms against the wall. I try to kick, but he presses his body forward, pinning my legs. Frajola: Tonight, you're mine. He tries to kiss me, I turn my head, and when he takes my mouth in a kiss, I bite his lip. He throws me to the ground, I hit my head, and I pass out. Hours later, I wake up at my doorstep without clothes. My head and my private parts hurt, and I feel disgusting. I go inside, but my dad and sister aren't there. I go to the bathroom. I'm bleeding. I was a virgin, and he took that from me and so much more. I take a shower and lie on my bed, but I can't sleep. I message Manu and tell her everything that happened. Hours later, she sees my message and comes to my house. Manu: Lari, come here. She hugs me, and I break down in tears. Manu: We should go to the police. Larissa: I can't. Manu: Why not? Larissa: He's the boss of the hill, you know. If I report him, he'll have me killed or do something to my dad and sister. Manu: If I could, I'd kill him. We sit in silence. Manu: Hey, I have a cousin who's a cop. Larissa: Manu, let's just leave it alone. Manu: We shouldn't leave it alone; he committed a crime against you, Lari. Larissa: Yes, but I'd rather forget what happened. Manu: Where's Déborah? She shouldn't have left you alone. Larissa: She hasn't come back yet. Manu: And your dad? Larissa: He's at the bar. Manu spends the day with me, and my dad comes home drunk, cursing Déborah. Larissa: Dad, Déborah isn't home. Father Fernando: So, where is she? Larissa: I don't know. Father Fernando: That girl only brings me disappointment; she'll turn up pregnant one of these days. He goes into the bathroom to take a shower. I grab my cell phone and call Déborah, but it goes straight to voicemail. *** Five days after what happened to me, there was a Civil Police operation that arrested Frajola. I have to admit, I felt relieved. Now there are police everywhere in the favela (slum), and you don't see the traffickers anymore. *** It's been 15 days since Déborah hasn't returned home. On the third day, we went to the police to start searching. My father is inconsolable; he lost Mom, and a year later, Déborah disappeared. *** 30 days and we have no news. I've been feeling a bit nauseous, so I sent a message to Manu, who came to my house. Manu: Hi Lari, where's your dad? Larissa: At the bar. Manu: I brought a pregnancy test. Larissa: You think? Manu: I think so. I go to the bathroom, take the test, and it's positive. I cried a lot; I was desperate. Manu: Take it easy, Lari. Larissa: I haven't even finished high school, and now I'm pregnant by a guy I never want to see again. Manu: We'll figure out how to take care of the baby. *** A few days later, I decided to tell my father. I get up early before he goes to work. Larissa: Dad, I need to talk to you. Father Fernando: What is it? Larissa: I'm pregnant. Father Fernando: Pregnant, Larissa? And who is the father? Larissa: I don't know. Father Fernando: You're just like your sister, and I thought you were different. I chose to endure my father's humiliation instead of telling him the truth. Father Fernando: We barely have enough money for household expenses, and now we have to take care of a child too. Larissa: I'll find a part-time job. Father Fernando: While pregnant, Larissa? You won't be able to get anything. *** A few weeks later, I got a job as a babysitter, looking after several children of the women in the favela. Manu was always by my side, and since she's better off financially, she provided all the baby supplies. Larissa: You didn't have to, Manu. Manu: Of course I did! Do you think the godmother's baby is going to sleep on the floor? No way. *** During my pregnancy, I suffered many humiliations, especially from my father. I was the subject of jokes at school, and the neighbors said things like "She thought she was a saint, but she doesn't even know who the father is" or "If Dalva were alive, she'd be disappointed." If my mom were alive, she'd be supporting me. *** My son was born, and Manu stayed with me the whole time in the hospital. He was so beautiful. Even though he came into my life unexpectedly, I loved him more than I could explain. During Henrique's first month, Manu came to my house every day. She stopped coming when her father sent her to Canada, but we continued talking every day via video call. I took care of Henrique by myself. *** A year has passed, we've faced many difficulties. I can't find a job, Henrique keeps growing, and I can't buy the things he needs. My father was fired from his job for showing up drunk multiple times; initially, the company tried to help, but he refused their help out of ignorance. Today I turn 19, and there's nothing to eat at home. I can't stand being hungry anymore. I go out every day in search of a job and return empty-handed. I went out again looking for work, only to face several rejections. I'm heading home around 1 PM, passing by a restaurant. The smell of food makes my stomach growl. I decide to enter the restaurant and ask for a meal. When the lady hands it to me, I grab it and run towards the door, and she yells. Lady: She's stealing, stop her! I run and bump into a man who grabs my arms, and the lady comes towards me. Lady: We need to call the police. Someone: I am the police. He handcuffs my hands, and I start to cry. Now I'll be arrested for trying to feed myself and my son. The man talks to the lady and the restaurant manager. Someone: I will resolve this issue. Then he pulls me by the arm and takes me to his car. He puts me in the front seat and fastens the seatbelt; My hands are handcuffed behind me. He sits next to me. He's very handsome and smells nice. He starts driving, and I can only cry. He drives to a house, gets out, opens my door, and pulls me out by the arm, sits me on the couch in the house, and sits next to me. Ryan: My name is Ryan Collins. I'm a detective with the civil police. A person doesn't usually steal food for no reason; if your excuse is convincing, I'll let you go.