Destiny

Jordan Finally, I thought to myself as I stroked my hair back. It had been so long since I felt this feeling of freedom, yet in my head, I knew I couldn't escape that tragic past. My heartfelt that heavy pain and my back carried that scar that was never going to let me forget. I felt a quick pain in my scar, and I couldn't help but remember that man. He was my biological father, but I'll be dammed if I ever came to love that man. I knew my mom would break if I told her this thought, but even I questioned why she could ever love a man like him. I missed her, but It was best to never see her again. She left me even when I begged her not to. She left when I beeeepppp! Beeepppp! Drive right kid or move out of the way! I heard a man screaming at me as he rolled down his window in the middle of the freeway. I snapped out of my thoughts really quick Jordan: Stop thinking about her. You said you were going to forget her. I told myself as I grabbed the ring that was in my necklace. I let out a deep sigh as I pressed the gas pedal to my car. The wind blew in my hair and the sun made me happy to see all the tall buildings in Downtown Dallas, I had never seen before. This was going to be a new start, a new life, a time to forget everything that shouldn't have had happened. All I wanted was to be happy even when maybe I didn't even deserve it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Melissa Melissa: "He's sad again". "Why is he always so sad?" "It hurts to see him this sad but why?" "Who is he?" Quack Quack Quack, aghhhhhh I jumped up as I heard my alarm. Dammit, that's what I get for always putting my school alarm so loud, I almost got a freaking heart attack. That guy I thought to myself, I dreamed of him again. I stared in confusion at my sisters' picture I have in my wall next to me. Ohhh never mind It's just me, I've been reading to many romance books I thought as I shook my head in disbelief. I got down quickly from my bed and went straight to the restroom mirror. Yeah, ugliness check I laughed out loud. I will admit to you I'm not that beautiful protagonist from the stories you must have read already I'm that ehh she's the all right type of girl. I lean my head forward and pull my long hair back and tuck in my oversized gray t-shirt in my loose shorts. I wash my eyes and pull out my toothbrush to brush my teeth all rough and fast. Teeth and face check I tell myself as I walk to my closet. I have a habit of choosing my clothes the day before for class, but just as always, those clothes always go flying to my bed as I consider another choice for clothes to wear. I look at my closet thoroughly and serious mmmm what to wear I ask myself as I scratch the side of my head. Tights and a crop top it Is I smile as I pull out my clothes from my closet. My parents always find it dumb, but my motto is comfortable and cute. I don't like wearing tight clothes especially jeans. He ladies may you please raise your hand if you agree with this statement wink wink, so tights are always part of my everyday outfit and no no no I don't wear the same pair of tights each day to school, I am proud to say that I am the owner of my own collection for comfort. I pull up my tights and slip down my shirt and try to avoid the mirror I have in my room. This is a habit I formed because of those days, I suffer from body dysmorphia and I'm not willing to fully admit it, but it's the truth no matter how much I despise it. My body had always been a big issue for me, and that problem grew and grew until my mind completely shut off and I became incapable of seeing my body for how it is. I can stand In the mirror and see my reflection, but all I see was that obese girl I was before. I try to avoid it and tell myself that my body is like that no more, but I guess I came to the conclusion that I will always have that mindset of a fat person, even when I wasn't one no more. I take a deep sigh and bend down to grab my comfortable Nike shoes. I don't have gym or anything yet for my classes, but I park really far from the entrance of the school. Some may call me weird or say that I like the workout, yet all I like is the breeze I feel while I walk to the building of the school. I grab my backpack and my car keys and head out to my car. If you want to know me really well, one thing to remember is that as soon as I start my car, country music is instantly heard blasting through the radio. My best friend laughs at me about it, but when I first got my car my dad drove with me to school for the first month. 99.5 the wolf is the radio station he loves to hear and since that day I haven't considered changing the station. It is weird, but I always have a feeling of happiness when I listen to a song and know that it's probably the same song my dad must be listening too. I crack my knuckles and breath in the air heavily, all right lego (let's go) I scream as I look at the mirror and wave goodbye to my little brother. Lucky him he doesn't have any school today, I think as I pout a little. I look back and check all of my surroundings and move the shift pedal of my car to reverse as I pull out of my driveway as carefully and slowly as I can. I look at my brother again and gave him the brightest smile I could and drove away to the first day of my second year to college. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Jordan Jordan: "All right, All right I heard you old man I forgot to call you that's all quit giving me attitude". I roll my eyes as I hear him scream at me through the phone. My old man or In other words is my stepdad. My recent stepdad if I should clarify a little, he became my stepdad the day my mother passed away. My mother left him in charge, but for me, he's just a weak man that never had the balls to admit the love he had for a woman until it was too late. I resented him a little for that honestly, my life could have been different if it was him who was my real dad. Maybe my mother wouldn't have gone through so much pain with him, he's a good man and I will admit that to anybody in a second, but a weak man is still a weak man. Furthermore, a weak man that I will never accept as my father. Old man/ Dr. Perez: "Jordan you promised me to call me when you got there, how could you forget" Jordan: "I'm telling you I did, I forgot all right, I got caught up with cleaning the house and checking if everything works. I just forgot to call my babysitter that's all" I said with a little smirk in my face. I didn't want to like this guy, and I didn't mind if he knew that clearly. Old man/ Dr. Perez: "I was worried and even told my secretary to watch my calls for you." sigh* "Just forget it. Do you even like the house at least son?" I asked with a little nervousness and hope in my words. Jordan: I felt my heart stop when he called me son. Not even my real dad ever called me that, but there's this man who doesn't even have to accept me doing it. I felt thankful for my mom for choosing him as my stepdad even though It was mean for me to think this, I felt proud for her for making a good decision for once. My mother was a stubborn woman who always did what she wanted, even if it meant her decisions hurting others, even me her own son. I wondered if maybe that's why she stayed with my biological father for so long. She thought she could change him and that he was going to become a better man for her, but It was obvious that he wasn't. Even when he left her, her love for him didn't stop no matter how much I prayed it did. Now that I was 19, I came to the decision that If I ever got with another girl, I wanted her to be as foolish as my mother. I wanted her to love me no matter how messed up I was and never leave my side, but I was scared to love sincerely honestly. I wondered if I was going to have the same luck my mom had with her love. What if like my mom my heart got broken due to the person I wanted forever. I made my heart hearten and responded as vicious as I could Jordan: "Watch your words I'm not your son". Your just the man my mom left in charge of me until I turn 21". "I'm bound to you because of a dumb contract not because of my own will" I hated talking to him this way I really did, but I didn't want him to get attached to me the same way I didn't want to get attached to him. He didn't have any kids the same way he never got married. The only woman he loved was my mother for almost all his life, but I couldn't hurt him. I saw in his eyes as clear as it could be how he wished that I was his son, and the ring I carried In my necklace that he gave me from my mom's ring finger when she passed away was the ring, he wished to have given her one day. I loved my mom and I understood that she didn't love him the same way as she loved my biological father, but she was cruel. She hurt the only man that loved her and even now in her death she still controlled him with the love he had for her. She was pathetic for not accepting him and I resented her a little for that. Old man/ Dr. Perez: "I'm sorry I will remember not to call you that next time Jordan" I said as I felt a heavy pain in my chest because of his response. I wanted to love him even though he wasn't my son. I had watched him grow ever since he was little, but I understood his resentment. He knew about the past I had with his mother and how much I loved her. As well as how I was the only person who knew of the abuse him and his mother had to carry because of his father, and how I was an incapable man to never stop her. ---Old man/ Dr. Perez Flashback --- It was my freshman year in college when I met Jordan's mother for the first time, Rosaline Zapata. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever met. Long brown hair, blue light eyes, and her skin as pale as the white snow. I fell for her at first sight, but so did Robert Guevara. We had almost all the same classes as the three of us chose to study for medicine. Me and Rosaline wanted to get a career as a doctor who worked in the emergency room, while Robert just went to school to please his parents. The three of us grew a strong bond beyond any other, which later became the strongest connection I had ever had with people. Me and Robert were different. Our personalities were different, our mindsets were different, but I never knew that the love we both had for Rosaline was also different. Robert wasn't scared of rejection, but I was. Rosaline was the first woman I had ever loved, but I knew that in her heart Robert was the only one that belongs. They started dating a few months after our first year of college after I gave her up for Robert. Robert knew that I loved her, but he also knew that she loved him. Robert: "I'm sorry Jonathan really. You're my friend, but she doesn't love you she loves me. Look I know Rosaline likes you, yeah you both are really close but give up, and don't get between our relationship. I mean it, Jonathan." He told me with such arrogant confidence and tone. Old man/ Dr. Perez: "Jonathan I know all right, all I want her is to be happy that's all, but I want to at least confess my feelings to her. I don't want to keep them hidden from her anymore, I have to tell her." I told him with such a strong determination. I didn't want to give up on Rosaline, I loved her. Robert: No Perez, I'm already telling you no! If she finds out, she will get hurt for having to reject you, can't you see that? He screamed at me instantly when I confessed what I wanted to do. He came up close to me and grabbed my neck instantly with all his strength. Robert: "I'm tired of having to repeat myself to you. Back off Rosaline before I forget that you're her dear friend". He said as he let me drop to the ground. I had no choice but to walk away. If Rosaline found out about my feelings she would get hurt and I knew that clearly, but I wish I wouldn't have ignored what he did. If I would have told him something or even tell Rosaline, I would have noticed that he wasn't the man we both thought he was at that time. Rosaline and Robert when out to date for all of Rosaline's years in college, and even became her husband, Jordan's father. Robert dropped out of college without even completing his second year. During those times their relationship became bad and abusive, but Rosaline still stayed by his side for she loved him. Rosaline went out to complete her full education with me and came to work under me in the hospital my father owned, The Children's Hospital. We both worked in the emergency room. Even though 12 years had passed during that time, my love for her had never changed. Old man/ Dr. Perez: "Rosaline what's wrong with your face"? "How did you get those bruises"? "What happen"! I screamed at her while holding her hands not letting her get away. Rosaline: "Jonathan Its nothing I just fell" Old man/ Dr. Perez: I knew she was lying. She couldn't look at me in the eyes when she lied. I looked at her and examined her at that instant. The bruises looked big and some of them had makeup on like if she had tried to cover them. Other bruises looked fresh and the rest looked like she had them for at least a couple of days. She squirmed and tried to cover her hand. As I pulled on her hand, a big facial appearance of pain appeared on her face. I pulled her sleeve up and saw hand marks on her wrist. It looked like someone had grabbed her with so much force to hurt her intentionally. I saw tears rolling down her face and constant terror. Anger filled inside of me as I let go of her hand at that moment. I started to run to my office to grab my keys. She didn't have to tell me who did it, I felt it, he had hurt her. I was going to kill him I swear I was. Rosaline came running after me screaming my name as loud as she could. Rosaline: Stop Jonathan Stop! Please don't hurt him, please She begged me grabbing my hand, as I forcefully shoved it to the side. Old man/ Dr. Perez: What's wrong with you? He hit you. Quit trying to see my face of a dumb ass. He did this to you. I'm going to kill him. He's not touching you ever again. Stay back! I screamed at her while looking at her teary eyes filled with fear Rosaline: You can't! I did wrong Jonathan, I made him mad. she screamed as she looked at me in the eyes telling me that I was the one who was doing something terrible for trying to defend her Old man/ Dr. Perez: What did you even do wrong, Rosaline? Quit defending him. What did you do for it to become acceptable that he hit you huh? I asked her with so much confusion in my face. I didn't know who the woman in front of me was anymore, I swear I didn't. When did she become so in love with him? Why? why is she defending him? I thought to myself as I looked at her waiting for an answer. Rosaline: I'm pregnant! She screamed as she fell to the ground. Rosaline: I let myself get pregnant Jonathan. I wanted him to stay. That was the only way I could make him stay with me. She cried while covering her face with her hands. Old man/ Dr. Perez: I couldn't help but move back from her after I heard those words. Old man/ Dr. Perez: The o-only way to make him s-s-stay? I repeated after her. Since when? How? I asked her looking down. Old man/ Dr. Perez: Since when has he been hitting you, Rosaline? why didn't you leave him? why did you stay Rosaline? Why? Answer me! I screamed at her, as I got in my knees grabbing her hands. Old man/ Dr. Perez: answer me! I screamed at her again, shaking her to look up at me. Rosaline: I- I love him, Jonathan. I love him. She told me as she looked at me in the eyes. Old man/ Dr. Perez: At that time, I realized it was too late to save her. She was happy to be pregnant with Jordan. She loved her son, but she wasn't a good mother. Robert became a drunkard and quit working all around. He never came home anymore either, and that broke Rosaline's heart to pieces. Even though she was a mother, in her heart Robert still came before Jordan. She worked all night and day to bring money to the house, and to buy beer for Robert to make him happy. Jordan was always left in care with Rosaline's mother until he turn 1. She decided to give up her full connection with her daughter. Rosaline's mother was disappointed at her for still staying with Robert despite his abuse and his addiction. Her mother didn't understand how she could still love him. Furthermore, how she could choose him over her own family. That became the last day that Jordan saw his grandmother. She was the only family he had left, for just like his grandma Roberts family and Rosaline's family grew apart from them and chose to forget them. They all felt bad for Jordan, but there was nothing they could do. Rosaline was his mother and only she had the power to do what was right for her son. Even though during that time she didn't see that. Old man/ Dr. Perez: Hey little man what are you doing here huh, you've grown so big Jordan. I said while lifting him up my shoulders and seeing him smile After Rosaline's mother stopped taking care of him, I let Rosaline bring him to the hospital to stay in the little daycare we had. Until she found a daycare that would accept taking care of Jordan due to Rosaline's work schedule. Me and Rosaline worked in the emergency room, so that meant that we could be called at work at any hour of the day. Rosaline: He looks so happy to see you, Jonathan She said as she showed me that bright smile she had, but I couldn't help but frown as I looked at the bruise, she had in her neck. Old man/ Dr. Perez: What now Rosaline I asked her. what's your excuse now? I told her as I moved my head looking at the bruise, she instantly covered it and smiled. Rosaline: You know already Jonathan, I'm so dumb and I always make him mad. She said while smiling trying to swallow her tears. Old man/ Dr. Perez: I felt bad for her. I wanted to protect her, but I knew that I couldn't. If I tried protecting her, she would push me away. Jordan was still so little. I wanted to protect him as well. He didn't have to suffer because of Rosaline's decisions, I thought to myself. I pulled Jordan down to my face and kissed his forehead until he started giggling and laughing. Old man/ Dr. Perez: "I'm sorry" I whispered to him as quiet as I could, but all he did was give me a confused look. I couldn't help but smile at his silliness. You'll understand soon I thought, I just hope it isn't too late, but I was wrong. Ringgg, Ringgg, Ringggg I got startled as I heard my phone. I turned around to see the clock at 3.15 p.m. It must be the hospital I thought to myself. As I stretched my hand to grab the phone and answered Hello? A loud screamed came from the other line. Rosaline: Jonathan! Please, Jonathan, help me! As I shook my head and pulled the phone out of my ear to see the contact, I heard another scream Rosaline: Jordan! he hit Jordan! he's dying! I put the phone right to my ear and finally realized that It was Rosaline. Old man/ Dr. Perez: What happen? Where are you? I screamed with terror and confusion She screamed while crying. She was terrified I felt it. Rosaline: M-my house the- the house Old man/ Dr. Perez: Where's Robert? where's that son of a b***h? That's it. It's the last straw! I screamed as I put my shoes on in a rush and stumbled to get in my car. Rosaline: Hurry Jonathan! Hurry! Rosaline pleaded as she bent down in her knees grabbing the almost lifeless body of her son. Rosaline: I'm sorry Jordan I'm sorry She cried to her son, as Jordan smiled back at her and finally closed his eyes. Rosaline: Jordannnn! Jordan! Noooo! -------Flashback finished -------- Jordan: Hey old man are you listening? I asked you when you will be free so I can call you after I choose my classes for college? old man? Old man/ Dr. Perez: Oh yeah, whenever it's okay. Sorry Jordan, I got lost in thought for a minute. I said while grabbing my face Jordan: Yeah, I could tell. Look I have to go now all right, I'm going to go to the school next week after I buy the furniture and get the money for the classes. Old man/ Dr. Perez: Jonathan I told you money is no problem. I'll pay for everything just listen to me Jordan: I appreciate it old man really, I said as I cut him off completely, but I don't want to depend on you that much all right. I can handle it myself. I already sold all my cars and some of my stuff, I'll be okay with my bills and classes. Quit being worried. Old man/ Dr. Perez: Okay I trust you. Be careful and call me if you need anything. Jordan: Worry about yourself. I answer him laughing a little while walking to my car Jordan: Your kind of old already so get some rest and don't stress yourself too much at work. Bye old man. I say as I hang up instantly and turn on my car to drive away to see my mother Old man/ Dr. Perez: Okay by…e sigh* That kid hung up on me again, without even letting me finish talking, I mumbled under my breath I grabbed my cup of coffee from my desk and stood up to look out the window to see the blue sky. I closed my eyes and saw Rosaline right in front of me smiling as she always did before. It's been two months already since you passed away Rosaline, and I wonder if I'll be able to raise him right for you. I just hope I don't let him get hurt again I thought. I don't want him to get hurt again, I said as I felt my handshake in nervousness. Rosaline: Jonathan! Here! Jonathan! Here! I start remembering again that awful day I wish I could forget. I see Rosaline in the ground holding Jordan who was filled with blood all over his body. Rosaline: Hess not responding Jonathan! I tried everything! Rosaline screamed while shaking her head uncontrollably As I get my phone out to call 911, I see the big wound open in his back and a metal fireplace poker covered in blood next to him. 911, yes what's your emergency? can you hear me? what's your emergency? sir? Rosaline: Jonathan snap out of it! Jonathan! Rosaline screams at me with an unregretful expression in her face. As I look at Jordan's wound and turn around to see Rosaline covered in blood and her hands shaking, I realized what had happened, and for the first time in my life, I regretted ever loving her. Old man/ Dr. Perez: He.. he protected you he s-saved you I said looking at Rosaline with the most hurt and surprised expression I had ever made. All she did was look down and whisper Rosaline: I love him, Jonathan, I still love him. Jordan I stepped inside the church that held my mother's ashes in the columbarium. It had been so long since I had last come here. Call me a bad son, but I didn't even go to her ceremony before she got cremated. Instead, I just went at night and stayed in my car until my old man had left due to his work. I could feel my mother's pain that day. None of her family members had gone to see her. Not even the man I knew she would of hope to go. The ceremony only consisted of my old man and five people who worked with her. All of my family resented my mother and felt a huge disappointment with her for being with my biological dad, a resentment that even she had to take in her death. Jordan: "It's me, mom, I came to see you" I kneel down in front of her glass window where her ashes remained. I gave her a smile and let my tears fall down after holding them in for so long. Jordan: "I haven't seen you since that day in the hospital, I'm sorry I couldn't make grandma and the others go see you in your ceremony mom. I hope you're not that sad about it, they'll come around watch, just give them a little more time. I've been doing good with the old man, we're working things out slowly and my d-dad" I pause to my surprise that I even thought of mentioning him. Jordan: "I think he's happy with his n-new family m-mom" I tell her as I look at the ground. Jordan: He's happy, so it's my turn to be happy okay?". I felt a great tug in my chest, as I looked up to see her picture smiling and showing her hand where she had just gotten her wedding ring, from that man. I can't help but feel the anger fill me and scream at her. Jordan: f**k this! f**k this! why huh? why do I still feel your sadness when I mention that man? It can't be that your dead and you still love him, mom, it can’t be. Did you ever even love me? I was your son! Why? Why did you love him more! Was I not good enough for you? Did you not want me? Did you hate having me that much? Mom! I screamed as I got up and turn away not to see her picture. Jordan: What about the old man mom? What about Jonathan? Why did you leave me under him? Let him move on, you should have let him move on, he deserves to be happy! Why were you so foolish, huh why did you love-e… I fell down instantly as I felt a great pain in my chest. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, as I tried to get up, I felt a strong heartbreak in my heart, and I started screaming. I never told my mom anything that I felt about the things she did, and here I was letting it all out when she was gone already. I grabbed her ring from my necklace and fell asleep that day in the church, under her ashes. Jordan: Please m-mom come- come b-back Melissa Melissa: Stop! Stop! I woke up screaming in the middle of the night. My eyes were filled with tears and my chest carried so much pain, I could barely breathe. That guy, he was the same guy, that I dreamed about two times already, but I didn't understand why I didn't know him. I closed my eyes and laid back into the wall Melissa: Please, please protect him I prayed to my sister as I heard the wind blow in the night hard in my window. I didn't know him, yet his pain was something I could understand. We carried the same pain, you feel when you lose someone you love. He carried the same pain, I felt when I lost my sister. Melissa: P-please protect him I whispered as I felt my heavy eyes shut again and fell asleep instantly as I felt another tear fall from my eyes. Melissa: H-he was in p-pain