Chapter 1
To avoid even the slightest hint of favoritism, my husband, the Chief of Surgery, barely spoke to me at the hospital.
If I presented a case at conference, he refused to comment on it.
If I signed up for a department event, he made sure not to attend.
If I applied for a fellowship or leadership program, he made sure he wasn't involved in the selection process.
Because of him, I'd spent 5 years as an attending physician without advancing any further.
And yet my case records, CME credits, and written exams were all up to standard.
Lance Thorne was one of the most influential members of the promotions committee, and every single time, his evaluation said the same thing.
Meets minimum expectations. Further development recommended.
That was all it took to keep me exactly where I was.
After my application was rejected for the 3rd time, I finally started thinking about transferring to another hospital.
Lance rushed into the break room the moment he found out.
"Can you wait one more year? Next year, I'll be promoted to Medical Director. Once that happens, we can make our relationship public, and I won't have to hold back anymore."
His eyes were red when he said it. So I withdrew my resignation.
A year later, Lance became Associate Director right on schedule.
I prepared every document, submitted my application, and waited. This time, I truly believed he would approve me. I thought he would finally tell everyone the truth about us.
2 days later, my name wasn't on the promotion list.
Not far away, a group of coworkers were congratulating Lance's first love, who had only returned to the country a year ago.
"Evelyn, Dr. Thorne really pulled some strings for you this time. I heard his review alone was over 10 pages."
Lance lowered his gaze toward her, his expression gentle.
"She was qualified. I just helped things along."
I stood there frozen. Then I looked at the promotion list one last time. Whatever hope I had left died right there.
I pulled out my phone. This time, I didn't hesitate.
Jocelyn: I'll take that position you said you'd keep open for me.
*****
When Lance returned to his office, I was sitting in his chair. In front of me were the review comments he had written for Evelyn.
3 versions. 2 digital drafts. One handwritten copy.
Every single one was more than 10 pages long. Not one sentence was repeated.
The door opened. Our eyes met.
Lance's first instinct was to glance into the hallway and make sure no one had seen me. Then he quietly shut the door.
"I told you, if you need something, text me. Don't come looking for me. People might get the wrong idea."
"I did text you."
He pulled his phone from the pocket of his white coat.
2 days ago, I had sent a message.
Jocelyn: My application is submitted. Don't give me those same words again.
No reply.
Yesterday, I'd sent him another message.
Jocelyn: After the promotion results come out, when are you planning to make our relationship public?
Still nothing.
Then, after the results were announced, I stared at my screen for 3 full minutes before sending one last message.
Jocelyn: Why?
Now, Lance glanced at the messages and put his phone away. Then he took off his white coat.
"No why."
I pushed myself up from the desk, forcing my voice not to shake.
"Tell me, Lance. In experience, skill, and qualifications, what exactly does Evelyn have that I don't?"
He calmly poured himself a cup of coffee and set the cup in front of me.
"The committee made the decision. It wasn't mine alone."
I threw the papers onto the desk. "Without your 10-page recommendation, why would the committee choose someone who's only been here a year?"
Lance frowned, exhaustion settling between his brows.
"Jocelyn, it's just a review. If you have time to come in here and make a scene, maybe you should spend that time thinking about why you didn't pass."
Thinking about why I didn't pass?
A laugh slipped out of me. Tears burned at the corners of my eyes.
The moment the results were released, the department chair had texted me
Department Chair: Jocelyn, you didn't make the promotion list. Did you offend Dr. Thorne somehow? He gave you the exact same review again. "Meets minimum expectations. Further development recommended."
Those 6 words had already sealed my fate before the committee even voted.
The first 3 times I received that same review, I had confronted Lance.
Every time, he would take my hand and squeeze it tight. "Jocelyn, I still don't have enough influence at the hospital. If I write too much, people might look into our relationship. Then they'll say you only got promoted because of me."
Back then, I believed him.
There was nothing left to ask. He'd been choosing her all along.
I shoved past Lance and walked out.
The next morning, the second I stepped into the hospital, my coworker Nancy Scott grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the conference room.
"You're not on call anyway. Come sit in on the session."
When we walked in, Evelyn had just stepped up to present the case she'd included in her promotion portfolio.
She stood at the front in her white coat, poised and confident.
I stood in the back, all the blood draining from my face. I couldn't move.
Except for the physician's name at the top, the case report was identical to mine.
It was the same case I had handed to Lance.
The same one he had read, then shaken his head at. "No. It's too ordinary."
My voice cut through the entire conference room. "Dr. Ross, is that case really yours?"
Every head turned.
Evelyn's face flushed red, but she quickly forced herself to stay composed.
"Dr. Clark, I spent countless nights working on this case. You're allowed to disagree with me, but you don't get to throw around accusations without proof."
Dr. Jason Miller, the hospital president, looked over, his face darkening. "Dr. Clark, I understand you're upset about not being promoted, but you need evidence before making claims like that."
The room immediately filled with whispers.
"5 years and 4 failed promotion reviews. I'd lose it too."
"I heard she's been obsessed with Dr. Thorne for years. Supposedly he had to keep blocking her promotion just to get her to back off."
I walked straight to Lance's seat. "You think I'm crazy too?"
His eyes shifted toward Evelyn onstage. Then back to me.
"Dr. Clark, Watch yourself."
Watch yourself.
Those two words cut deeper than they should have. It hurt so badly I almost laughed.
Nancy took one look at me, grabbed my arm, and dragged me out of the room.
The door closed behind us. And just before it did, I heard Lance's voice, soft and reassuring.
"Dr. Ross, please continue. Don't let anyone else distract you."
10 years together. 7 years married.
And in Lance's eyes, I wasn't the woman he loved. I wasn't his wife. I was just "anyone else."
