WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT WHEN CARMA'S INVOLVED?

VEINTINUEVE

You will never hear me say Alixxander lacked the ability to be sweet or caring. When it came down to it, he was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. For once, I accepted the comfort being offered. Hearing and feeling his heartbeat thump in his chest soothed me the way a mother’s heartbeat soothes her restless infant. My heart raced as his strong limbs encircled me. I never thought I’d live to see the day when I felt safe and protected in a man’s embrace. When he tried getting up, I did what was necessary to keep him with me a little longer.

The previous places we engaged in activity, while exciting, weren’t the most comfortable. I like how Alixxander lived for the moment. The moment I wanted to live in was with him in my bedroom, soaking in sin to help alleviate my sorrow. He needed coaxing. I seized control and I think it scared him. I say that because he grabbed my hands to halt me. The gentleman in him asked if I was sure. Having him deep inside me was the closest we could physically get. If he denied me, it would be a blow to my self-esteem.

He didn’t rush to peel his clothing off. Mine came off like they were on fire. Another fire burned that only Alixxander could extinguish. Ready and willing. On my back. Beckoning to be filled to the max. A gasp escaped as he pushed himself inside me. My thoughts screamed, “FCK. MORE. I WANT MORE.” I arched my back and moaned as he filled me a little more. Then my hole was empty. Raising the foil wrapper, he declared that his intention was to use it. My options were to stop right then and there or let him put a condom on and rock my world. That was a no-brainer. When it came to Alixxander, I considered myself straighter than an arrow.

My body didn’t object as he filled me to the brim. It was as if we were designed to be a perfect fit. My legs locked around his waist. Our lips and tongues melded and hands clasped over my head. We held on for dear life. During our chasmic adventure, I heard my phone ring. Knowing who was on the other end should have stopped me from continuing to relish in the immeasurable activity known as s*x with Alixxander. There was no way ever in a million years she could make me feel so wanted. I thanked him for not backing out. It was the polite thing to do. Aftershocks caused me to dig my nails deeper into his flesh. I wished there could be another round.

He began rushing around after looking at his phone. He apologized and said he had a thing. Putting only his boxers back on, he went to leave. The sadness I had forgotten about fluttered back. Turning around, he instructed me to dress fancy as he enthusiastically told me he was eager for me to meet someone. For the life of me, I didn't know who it could be. He bolted from my room, and I heard the front door slam shut.

He wanted fancy. I had fancy. I purchased the dress before leaving Cali and never had the chance to wear it. Spanxx were needed to smooth out my problem areas. Slipping into the matching red pumps, then sliding the dress over my head and lastly pinning my hair up on one side all brought my look together. Lastly, I pumped the plunger of my most expensive perfume and walked through the mist.

“Never thought I'd like to see you fully clothed as much as I enjoy seeing you naked.” I didn’t know he was lurking.

I did a little twirl. “Do you like?”

“There's a song by a nineties Canadian rapper called 'Lady with the Red Dress'. He may not have known it then, but that song was written for you.”

Walking to me, his hands rested on my jaw and his thumbs stroked my cheeks. “Don't wrinkle my dress.”

“I wouldn't think of doing such a thing. Right now.” He kissed my lips softly and stepped away.

I thought about his admission while we were in the elevator. Wanting to be a couple. Was there a snowball’s chance in hell we could make it work? If there was, it was going to have to wait ‘til he no longer wore that cursed piece of tin. Escorting me to his rental, he opened the door and I nervously sat as we coasted through the city. Alixxander constantly looked at his watch but never said where he was taking us. Approaching one of the biggest luxury apartment complexes in the city, my mind went wild thinking about the rich and famous that took up residence there. Alixxander took my hand, helped me out, and guided it and my arm through his bent one.

“Don't worry, you are gorgeous. If anyone asks, we are friends.” Did friends have s*x?

The door attendant opened the door and greeted Alixxander, using his first name. That told me he was a regular. We took the elevator to the top floor, and it was eerily set up similar to my building. Just with rich people. Feeling as if I wanted to pass out, I deeply inhaled and held it. When the house door swung open, all eyes turned in our direction.

“Are we wearing your clothes?” The crowd looked exquisite. After Alixxander's smart-ass remark, everyone went back to their conversations.

“You're late and mom is upset.” I still did not care for Richie.

“Car trouble.”

“Pfft. You're a moron. Who is this gem on your arm?” Ya we know.

“Richie, this is Harmoney Sanchez. My lawyer.”

“Dang girl. You look stunning compared to a few hours ago. You clean up nicely. Bro, what's she doing here?”

“Mom wants to meet the dame that is going to free me from Carma's clutches. Dad told me to find out what was wrong. I did and asked her to escort me to mom's party.” He accepted the bullsh*t story and went on his merry way.

We weaved through the crowd, stopping to speak with various people along the way. Alixxander introduced me as his colleague and divorce attorney. It was hysterical how he kept telling everyone I was going to become famous for crushing his soon-to-be ex-wife. It was his way to secretly show me off. Of course, they asked for details about how I was going to do it. I told them that I didn't have anything yet and winked. We all had a good chuckle, but the truth was, other than her past indiscretions and Evan, I had nothing.

My phone wouldn’t stop humming in my clutch. I heard it over the soft classical music playing throughout the apartment. Alixxander directed me to the powder room, so I could stop the fckin’ thing from going crazy. Forty-seven calls, thirteen voice messages and one hundred twenty-three text messages. I didn't listen to the voicemails or look at the messages. I stared at the phone as her pretty face showed up again.

Sliding up the green circle, the yelling commenced. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED.”

Ignoring her wasn’t okay. I expressed regret for worrying her. She was apologetic for leaving the diner angry. After mulling it over, she seemed to understand why I didn’t mention my pregnancy. What she didn’t get was why I didn’t trust her enough to be there for me in such a devastating and heartbreaking time. We didn’t know each other all that well for me to just let her waltz through my life like she owned it. Soon the tide turned, and she called me selfish. Then it wasn’t going to work between us. I’d never been called selfish before. Guess there had to be a first time for everything.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“There's plenty I wanted to say before you walked away. I'm intelligent enough to know it was over when you walked away and didn’t look back.”

“If you knew that, why did you avoid my calls and texts?”

Why would I want to talk to her? She angered me to the point I blurted out I received the comfort I needed from my baby’s father. She warned having s*x so soon after losing my baby was dangerous. Then she called me insane and a cheater. We weren’t ever a couple, so I don’t know how that made me a cheater, but whatever. Pretending that she cared was pointless. If she had stayed and talked with me, I would not have been home alone on my sofa drowning myself in tears.

“He took advantage of you. Is that what you are saying?” Not even close.

While I know s*x doesn’t heal or fix anything, it doesn’t seem to matter how far we push each other away, he was always there. If she wanted to consider it cheating, fine, I cheated. With my plate over-filled, I knew trying to form a new relationship while dealing with unsure feelings for another was not going to work. Ending the call for my sanity, I checked my face, wiped away the tears, and opened the door just as Alixxander was about to knock. Hooking arms again, he led me to a room where six people were engaged in a lively conversation. I knew four of the six and wondered why he brought me there.

“Mom, Aliceandrea, this is Harmoney Sanchez. The woman who will free our entire family from Carma.” Nothing like writing a check I might not have the funds to cover.

“Nice to meet you. Call me Allie.” Aliceandrea and I shook hands.

His mother was in a wheelchair and not as accepting of me. There was no kind greeting from her. She silently judged and criticized me. “Leave us.” I looked at everyone and begged them not to go.

Alixxander whispered in my ear, “You should be fine.” Should be?