Brielle

          Chapter One     Sighing, Brielle reached next to her and ran her hand over her husky’s coat. The warm feeling, he gave her when he was next to her, was everything she ever wanted and more. Once I get done dealing with mom, I’ll head over to Eze’s house. He wanted to cook me a nice dinner. Her nose crinkled for a second as she smiled, as long as it’s not raw chicken again. A light laugh came from her lips.     She glimpsed at her rearview mirror and saw herself, she had deep bags underneath her eyes from pulling another long shift. Open to close. They were sparkling green, the color of new spring growth, bright and soft all at once. They had flecks of strength, and courage that only spring could bring. Many say that when she grew irritated, or angry her eyes turned a turbulent dark green. A color most say reminded them of the meadows of Ireland. They did have a hint of metallic grey in them with shiny bits of gold.     She had freckles all over her face, and the color of her hair—people always compared her hair, to obsidian. Because of how black and shiny it was—her nose was pointed yet elegant, with a small upturn curve. Her lips bowed and had the smallest indents at the top of her lip. She always had a predominant cupid's bow.     Her lashes were thick, long, and wispy. Her hair though long was pulled back from her face in a tight ponytail. Her ears weren’t large but on the small side. She had single diamond studs that Ezekiel gave her last year. She only ever took them out when she took a shower and went to bed.     The very first time Ezekiel—her first and only boyfriend—had ever made her food, it was a chicken parmesan, and he gave her raw chicken. They ended up ordering Chinese takeout and watched movies together. Ever since he’s been adamant about going to culinary school. She relaxed in her seat; the sky was that dark pale purple that always signaled when a strong, potentially deadly storm was coming in.     Dark Columbus clouds were rolling in off the water, and along with them, they carried the storm the forecast was talking about. It was supposed to be one of the worst Springdale had seen since 67’. Brielle shivered. She didn’t want to be out for too long.     Brielle had lived in Springdale for most of her life. She put her head against her free hand, using her left to drive. There’s a hole missing though. Ever since we moved here, people gave us stares. She watched the traffic move and flow. The ground and trees around her were already frosted over. It just looked cold outside.     Toulouse, her dog put his paw on her thigh, and she felt that warm smile. He was a rescue, no one wanted him because he was a retired K9 officer, who had severe PTSD. She was the only one he ever came to and allowed to be petted by. Everyone else, he stayed stoic and kept to himself. Growling as people walked by. He had become her best friend, the only other one besides Ezekiel.     As she drove down the road, her mind continued to wonder. Mom’s getting sicker with each year. No matter what medication the doctors give her, they only work for a month or two before she starts to regress. She blew a raspberry. The only thing I can do is put her in a home. Every time I hire a nurse, they last maybe a week, they quit every time she has a fit. Then I have to come back over, leave my job early to come to their rescue. She flipped her turn signal on, turning off to their long dirt road.     They lived in the backwoods of Springdale, where behind their houses ran a river that went to the bay. In the middle of winter, it always freezes over. Brielle and Ezekiel always went ice skating. She smiled. I remember the very first time we went ice skating. I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do, or how to do it. So, he showed me. Taking my hands as we skated up and down the river. Her eyes sparkled with fondness. He was…he was something else. Always making sure my safety was before his.     Ezekiel and she lived next door to one another, a lot of people thought of them as the ‘perfect’ couple, or her favorite—she being the girl next door—when it wasn’t like that. For years, they shied away from each other for many reasons. One: She didn’t want him to know about her mother’s condition, and how she always had to take care of her. Two: Ezekiel was a hunk. Handsome, and when they were in high school together, every girl's wet dream.     He had that dusty brown hair, with glittering blue eyes like frozen over ice burgs in the middle of the artic. Within them, she could see into his soul and the strength he held. He had a jawline to kill for, and he worked out almost every day. So, he had a body that made her mouth water. Not only did Ezekiel only ever stay around her and want her. They were each other's firsts. For everything.     From kisses to boyfriend and girlfriend…to the lovemaking. That night was something she would never forget. They were in high school—he had the house to himself—and she just wanted to get away from her mother for a night. Brielle slipped out of the front door when her mom took her medication. It was raining like hell. She was soaked through by the time she got to his house.     He brought her in, wrapped her in a warm towel. He had ordered pizza; Ezekiel snuck some beer from his dad’s fridge, and they shared one together. They’d been together for at least a year at that point, and she was the one who brought up the question. “Eze, why haven’t you tried to have s*x with me?”     She watched him spit beer from his mouth, and the surprised look on his eyes was everything she needed to know, he didn’t want to push it. As if he read her mind, he replied to her, “Because I didn’t want to push it El. s*x is a serious thing, we could end up making a mistake and you could get pregnant. I want to make sure you’re absolutely okay with it.”     Brielle smiled at the fond memory, even to this day, she never minded the risks of making love with Ezekiel. “Well…I don’t mind, but I want you to know that I’ve never had s*x before.” Brielle was talking to him like she was discussing the weather.     Sighing as she saw their street sign come up, all sense of happiness and joy left her face and heart. She loved her mother, but…it was getting nearly impossible to help her anymore. At one point she was almost considering moving out of her apartment to live with her again. That would not be a good idea. Brielle knew her mother never meant to abuse her.     She didn’t know better. She didn’t know it was wrong. And when she did hurt her, it was always in one of her attacks. Or meltdowns. Where she freaks out, thinking people are chasing her. Hunting her down. Her favorite thing was saying that men were watching her from the windows.     Each time she had one of these meltdowns, she did her damnedest to give her some comfort. I had to start carrying extra medications just in case she tried flushing them again. She sighed as her tiers pulled up to the house. She sat in the driver's seat for a minute longer, staring at her childhood home.     It was a two-story house, with a dead garden around it. Her mother stopped taking care of it a few years ago. She even had a small vegetable patch around back—that was killed off last year—Brielle could still smell the rotten vegetables on the ground, covered in flies and maggots. Her mother sitting there staring as they ate at the rubbery flesh.     The house—thank god to Ezekiel—was better-taken care of on the outside. He had fixed up the aging siding and shutters on the windows. He even went out of his way to re-paint their old metal door. She sat back on the seat, staring at it. It was a soft baby blue that matched the grey of the house.     It was a happy house.     On the outside.     On the inside, it was filled with hate.     Anger.     Frustration.     Madness.     The smell of sickness always lingering in the air like a deep miasma. She could always smell it…like an old perfume, it came back. No matter what she did, or try to do, it always came back. It reminds me of when I volunteered at the hospice house…you could just smell the medicine and death lingering in the air. No one was happy, no matter the situation. It could be Christmas, and no one would have a smile. She tapped on the steering wheel.     Her stomach knotting deep inside, she was unsure if she should even get out. The house always made her depressed—even more so than what she was—time was always so slow. She could be in there for two hours and it would feel like years.     Brielle turned off her car and sat in silence. Toulouse next to her thumping his tail. He was an all-black German Shepard, with bright blue eyes. She turned to face him, “Boy, what should I do?” She asked him.     He tilted his head, listening to her.     “Am I a bad daughter for thinking these things? I want to put her in the hospital. I can’t keep doing this. It’s taking so much out of me. What do I do?” Already she was on the verge of tears. Brielle never ended up crying, she just wasn’t that kind of person. She could be close to tears and almost cry. But she never cried. “I can’t keep doing this boy…she’s going to drive me mad. I don’t want to be like her. I want to move on with my life. Get married to Ezekiel, have beautiful babies.” Her chest deflated.     She was defeated.     Toulouse put his paw on her leg again.     “I don’t know how much more I can do this…I can’t keep leaving work when she has a fit. I can’t keep hiring new nurses. They’re going to keep bailing when she’s too much to handle.” She reached out, wrapping her arms around her dog's neck. Burying her face into his fur. His warmth gave her so much comfort and courage. “How can I be more like you boy?” She whispered.     Toulouse licked the side of her neck.     “You’re so strong.” She pulled away, softly petting his face. “You suffer every night, and at every loud noise. But you’re still strong, how do you do it?”     He barked.     Brielle smiled, “You’re right. You just push on. Don’t you?” She leaned in rubbing her nose against his, “You have Ezekiel and me, and we have you. Our little family.”     He attacked her with kisses. Licking all over her face. Brielle burst out laughing. “Alright boys, I’m going to go in and see grandma.” She was about to leave the car when she turned the engine back on. “I don’t know how long I’ll be. So, I’ll leave the heat on for you.” She closed the door; Brielle never normally left her car running.     This time, however, the temperature was quickly dropping to the twenties and it was nearing Six P.M. She closed the door gently for him, and he jumped right in her spot. She watched his breath spread over her car window. She loved him deeply.     Brielle turned on her heel and walked down the sidewalk. The heels of her ankle boots made light clacking. It was when she got a little closer to the door when she realized it was open slightly. Her heart jumped in her throat, her mind going to the worst. Mom’s out again. s**t! Taking the porch steps two at a time, she slammed the door open.     The sound of a shrill scream to her ears, made Brielle flinch. She missed the first thing that was thrown at her. It struck her thigh with a hard thud, and with how cold her flesh was, it stung worse than normal. Her mother as the years went by, has grown weaker. There was one thing she didn’t lose, and that was her pitching arm when she played softball.     Something else came flying by her, and she moved her face out of the way in just enough time to see it was a knife. Bringing her eyes back to her mother, standing baby butt naked in the middle of the dining room. Screaming like a banshee.     It was then Brielle felt the adrenalin rush through her blood. Her cheeks became warm, and everything around her sharpened in detail. She was ready this time, moving out of the way for another object being thrown her way.     “Mother!” She shouted right back to be heard over the shrill scream. When she saw it did nothing to her, she tried another approach, “Matilda!”     The woman’s eyes fazed in and out again, her dry cracked lips turned over her gums in a snarl before her mother screamed at her, a chair came flying by her. Brielle moved from the flying object, she took everything in.     All over the floor in the living room were clothes, trash, and stuff that looked like dried poop. All over the walls were smeared with it, and the couch was ruined. Cut up and stuffing laid out all over the floor. Her mother was in the dining room, breathing hard as she screamed again. Her hair frayed and falling out in clumps. A side effect of the medication.     She looked nothing like the woman who had raised her since she was a young girl. As Brielle stepped in closer, her mother grabbed another chair from the dining set, and using all her strength, she threw it at her. This was easy for her to move away from.     It was getting to the point she couldn’t stand it anymore. But her mother needed her. She had to help her somehow, “Mom…mom calm down, please. Listen to me. It’s Elle.” She had her hands up, palms out. Trying to get through to her.     Her mother’s wide hazel green eyes rimmed red from the last dosage of whatever she took. Her chest kept rising and falling in deep breaths. “Elle?” Her mother’s teeth were still clenched tight, her right hand was made into a tight fist, while her left held a knife.     Brielle was slow, moving close to her mom, “Yes mom. It’s Elle. Put the knife down and let me help you take your medication.” She reached out, taking hold of her mother’s wrist. She could feel the sticky perspiration on her.     She could see how much weight her mother had lost in the last few weeks, and how skeletal she already looked. Her hair had thinned considerably, and she had scratched at her chest so bad that it was bleeding. “Momma, come on.” She had to speak to her like she was a child. She took the knife from her mother and slowly placed it on the shelf beside her.     Her mother’s wet eyes stared at her, her jaw ticking. Anger replaced the confusion, and she was screaming again. She swung her free fist and knocked Brielle on the shoulder. Matilda was grabbing at anything she could to throw at her. “Evil! Evil! Get away from me! Evil! It’s your fault! It’s all your fault!” Her voice turned into a harsh screech as she kept throwing whatever she could.     Brielle was getting hit more than she was deflecting. “Mom, stop!” A book hit her hip, and a crystal cat struck her other shoulder. Her mother had a s**t aim, but everything that did strike her, hurt like a mother fucker.     Her mother got around her and started tossing everything she could in the living room, screaming like a banshee again. Even taking hold of a framed photo of her and Ezekiel during her senior prom. It was the one and the only photo she—Brielle—actually kept in her wallet.     She slammed it down against the wall and took hold of a piece of glass, the edges cutting deep into her hand. “Get out! Get out! Get out!” Her pupils were so wide, Brielle saw herself in them.     Black hair that was long and pulled back in a ponytail, the ends curled and had a light bounce. Her face was heart-shaped, and her lips were pursed just enough to show the irritation in them. Her nose was on the longer side, but still elegant. Her eyes the color of jasper, and round. Her eyelashes long and sweepy.     Her cheeks were slightly plump, and she had a few freckles that ran across her forehead, down her nose, and across her mouth. She still had makeup on from work, a simple pink lip, and light eyeliner with mascara.     She tried approaching her mother again, “Mom…how long have you been off your medication?” She lived in an apartment a few streets over and she always came over for dinner. Tonight, she was just coming over to check up on her. She just…had a feeling something was off. She was supposed to meet Ezekiel for dinner, he had something planned for her.     “f**k you b***h!” Her mother spat.     She winced; her mother wasn’t always like this. When she took her medication correctly, she was a sweet, older woman who did care. Off her medication…she was evil. “Matilda, listen. Put the glass down. Let’s go for a drive yes?”     Something crossed her mother’s eyes. She started relaxing, dropping the piece of glass on the floor. A calmness swept over her. “The shipyard. I want the shipyard…”     “Okay…okay we can do that.” She kept herself calm, “We need to get you dressed mom.”     “Dressed…dressed…” Her mother turned her back to her, as she started up the stairs. “Shipyard…dressed…”     Brielle followed her up the stairs she knew it was time. After the shipyard, I’m going to put her in the nursing home. It’s time. Her mom went into her room. The whole house smelt…off. It reminded her of someone not flushing a toilet after a long time. Something like raw sewage. It took her a minute to realize, her dog, Toulouse was still in her car. He’ll be okay for another minute or two…She left the car running and the heater on. It was supposed to get real cold tonight.     Her mom was nude in her bedroom, clothes were strewn all across the floor. Her pill bottles were scattered across her bed. All empty. She hadn’t refilled any of them. With a sigh, Brielle helped get her mother dressed. She put her in a yellow cardigan, blue jeans with her father's old buckle, and brown boots. “Alright momma…we can do a quick drive around the shipyard, then I have to bring you back home.” She reached into her back pocket and pulled out the emergency medication she had for her mom. “Alright, I’m giving you your medication now—”     Her mom started to fight her again, “No! He said that’s the devil's liquid! I don’t want it! He said it would make me remember, and I don’t want to remember!” Her watery eyes started to dilate again, baring her teeth. “He said…he said the devil would be implanted in me and make me relive my sin! I tossed the rest of my medication out, I want redemption.”     Surprise lined Brielle’s face, “Who said that momma?” She rubbed her arm gently.     “The man…” She shuddered, “The man in the shadows.”     A sigh, Brielle had gone through this with her mother once before, when she, again, stopped taking her medication. So, she brought the syringe closer. She pulled the orange cap off. “Mom…Listen to me.” She kept her voice calm, keeping eye contact with her. The needle pierced Matilda’s thigh before she could even yelp. She pushed down and she injected the medication.     Her mother stared at her; her mouth open in a surprised scream. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?!” Her chest rose and fell as she started to hyperventilate. “You…you just injected me with the devil's seed!”     Brielle took hold of her mother’s arms and gently rubbed them. “The shipyard mom, remember? We’re going to the shipyard.”     That made her calm down, “Yes…the shipyard…the beautiful sea…sea at night…during dusk…” She went off in her own little world as she watched the medication take hold.