Regrets

Pregnancy

I jus kept the reports in my locker and was wandering in the garden. This was the time when just kept my hand in my womb thinking about this little creature. I don’t want this child but am not a monster to kill it. But if I keep it I don’t know about the hatred I will get. Bianca was telling me that the abortion is not wrong and it’s your need. But, I started to feel selfish when I think about abortion.

the thoughts were making a pool in my brain and I thought to call Bianca for making myself a bit comfortable. Before I could call her my mom called me.

i went inside and saw her angry face. “what happen mom?”

”what happen?”!!!!......she said angrily and throwed some paper on my face. I looked down and I saw they are my pregnancy report. My brother and father to came down asking “what happen” this was it, it was end. I was freezer and was not able to move. I want to pick the reports and tore it into thousand pieces but I couldn’t move. And just I know I have to answer them. And, what happened this word started ringing in my head.

“ask you shitty daughter what happen?” Said my mom crossing her arm.

”what happen kiddo?” Asked Jarrod

i was speechless. “Brother I-I” my taugue was not ready to flip it was stuck. How can I say them they am pregnant, that I was rapped. My wound were not cured and I was facing another hurt right now.

my mom came and slapped me hard. “She is pregnant” she screamed. She was very furious. My cheeks were red not bacause I was blushing but because I was ashamed because she slapped because of this little thing, because of the rape

“What the heck?” Princes. My father was very shocked he never expected something like this from me. What should I answer him I gained some courage and said

”dad I can explain”.

”we don’t need you explaination” my mom snapped at me. She grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the door and pushed me outside.

“mom please it was not my fault mom—-......” i was begging her.

“you brought shame to our family” she told and closed the door.

I banged the door several time please let me in. “I am sorry.” “It’s not my fault.......”

no one came out besides the people around they all were staring at me. I can’t handle it anymore. I sobbed and ran as far as I can. But where will I go? Where can this path led me to?.

i can go no where? Can I.

the thought of that night and liam again covered me. Why dint Jarrod look after me? Why Bianca left? Why I drank too much? Why he did this? Many questions were coming in my mind. Every person was questioning to me and I am the person who should answer and the person who should answer can only question herself more.

About all the shit......