Sweet Southern Haven

The Fire

{Silas’ POV}

[This chapter deals with themes of s/a, domestic abuse, the loss of a child, and the loss of loved ones, reader discretion is advised.]

“Noelle..” I said softly, before setting my cup down, I carefully wrapped my arm around her, pulling her into a hug. “I’m so sorry..” I choked out, kissing the top of her head. “No one deserves to suffer the way that you have.. and on top of the abuse you endured.. you lost your child and both of your parents. You are so strong to still be standing here today, to smile, to laugh, to live your life. You’re amazing Noelle Bennett.” I said, honestly amazed at the strength of this woman in front of me. She just told me about the worst thing that had ever happened to her.. and she was breaking slowly in front of me. I rubbed my hand up and down her arm, holding her snugly in my arms. “Thank you, for telling me..” I said. “Thank you for trusting me.”

She sniffled, wiping her face. “Thank you for listening.. now it’s my turn to listen, and your turn to share. What do you want to talk about.” She asked, looking up at me.

I let out a deep sigh. “Well.. we could talk about Camille.. Emmaline’s mama..” I winced slightly.

“What happened Silas?” She asked, patting my arm softly.

“Well..” I began, pausing for a beat to take a deep breath. “When Emmaline was one.. I took her to my mama’s house. She fell asleep on mama’s couch, and I decided to just let her stay the night. I thought that it’d be a nice surprise for Camille to get a night away from the baby. When I made it back home..” I paused, a tear sliding down my cheek. “The house was caving in on itself, fire swirling everywhere inside it.. I ran in, looking for Camille, I screamed and searched everywhere but she didn’t answer. I ran back out, as the house caved in, falling to bits.. by the time the firefighters made it there.. it was too late.. the house was nothing but a pile of rubble..”

Her hand went to my hair, brushing it softly. “I’m so sorry.. I couldn’t imagine..” she said softly.

A tear slid down my cheek, and she softly wiped it away. I froze, looking over at her, I hadn’t realized how intimate this moment was until now.. looking into her eyes, her hand resting on my face, wiping my tears with her thumb. It seemed like she noticed too, as she quickly pulled her hand away and turned back to the table grabbing her hot chocolate. She took a sip, and clenched the cup in her hands. I cleared my throat and grabbed my cup, also taking a drink. “It was hard.. but we’ve managed.. it’s hard for Emmaline though.. she’s worried that if she gets too close to someone that something bad will happen.. I’m afraid that I’m the reason she feels that way. I’ve told mama that.. I’m worried that being with someone.. trying to find any form of attachment to someone again.. would end the same way.. that it’s me.. that I caused this..” I sighed. “Now.. I’ve passed that down to Emmaline, which was never what I wanted..”

She sat back, crossing her legs under her, before turning slightly back to me. She sighed heavily. “I get it.. I have a similar fear.. I’m afraid to open myself up to someone.. that I’ll just get hurt again.. so I understand how you feel on that front.” She nodded. “But you shouldn’t think that you’re dooming someone just by loving them..” she said, pulling the blanket up in her lap. “Silas..you and Emmaline deserve another chance.. you deserve another chance at love.. and she deserves another chance to have a mother.. or at least a step mother.” She sat down the cup, and clasped her hands together. “I know it’s not my place.. but I think maybe you need to hear that. It’s not your fault Silas.. none of it was your fault. It was a freak accident, and the more you blame yourself the more pain you’re going to feel for something that you couldn’t control.”

I sighed, setting my cup down, and turning to her. “Okay.. maybe you’re right.. but I still don’t know if I’m ready for anything like that.. I mean, it’s been five years since I’ve so much as kissed a woman.. I don’t think I’m prepared to just jump into dating..”

She giggled. “Silas, you don’t have to start dating someone just because I said that it’d be good for you! You should only start dating someone when you’re ready for that. Dating.. it’s a commitment, and it’s something that you should be completely ready, and willing to do. You would have to carve out time, and energy to be able to try something like that!” She smiled, leaning her head back on the couch. “I myself.. I think maybe I’ll just grow old alone.. like dad.. maybe he had the right idea.”

“You think so?” I asked, chuckling slightly. “I don’t think I’d want to be alone forever..”

She shrugged. “I think I may be better off on my own.. At least then the only person that my past can haunt is me.”

“Your ex.. he was awful to you.. but you didn’t really explain why you were here? Are you running from him?” I asked, leaning back on my side of the couch.

She nodded. “He was in prison.. they promised me that if I testified that they’d keep him locked up.. but he escaped.” I watched as a tear slid down her cheek, her eyes closing softly. “He’s looking for me.. I know he is.. he wants me dead for turning him in.. if he finds me..” she shook her head, a soft sob making her whole body tremble. “I don’t want to think about what he’d do to me.. I know for sure though, I won’t escape him if he finds me again.” She whimpered.

I pulled her over to me, her hand laid softly on my chest as she began to cry. I could feel the little trembles that shook through her, and hear her sniffling. “It’s okay Noelle.. we’ll protect you.” I said, rubbing her back softly. She snuggled up into my side, her arm wrapping itself around my waist as she cried, the longer we stayed this way.. the calmer I began to feel, as I laid my head back, I found myself falling asleep.