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Erik confiscates the world

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Blurb

What happens when the man with the world's greatest self-confidence arrives at the beach? This humorous story is written with excessive irony and must be taken with a grain of salt.

Do you have the salt with you?

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Erik on the beach
He ran his hand down his shorts. The fabric was soft and comfortable; he felt it tingle in his fingers at the thought that these were someone else's hands. He looked out over the beach and stretched. He tightened his abs and felt so incredibly sexy. He had to be the sexiest guy on the entire beach. The shorts were tight and short, pulled tightly around the round bottom. All day, he studied himself in the mirror, tensing his muscles and practically drooling over his self-image. Let the hand slide down the body, along the chest, on the stomach, and towards the hips. He walked further along the beach, raised his arms and tensed his muscles in front of a group of ladies. They looked at him, and then they left. It was clear that the sight of him was too much for them. That his alluring perfection was too much for their delicate souls. Satisfied with the thought, he tightened his buttocks in sheer glee and returned to his things. He found sunscreen and began to apply it to himself. Slowly and with sensual movements. His eyes sparkled as he saw some ladies looking towards him. He turned his back towards them and tightened his buttocks. He alternated tightening both, then one and then the other. It was clear the ladies loved looking at him, so he blew them a kiss. The ladies panicked and ran, but Erik knew it was only because he was so irresistible that it was simply too much for ordinary people. He was too sexy, too captivating, too perfect. Most people couldn't look at him for long, and he understood that well. Even he, who was used to his self-image, had trouble looking at himself too long in the mirror. He was dazzled. He stood up and tossed his hair back. Let his hand slide through his wet hair. It was smooth, and the fingers slid through without hitting any tangles. Simply perfect. Perfect. The moon at the top, however, bothered him a little. But he was prepared. He found Vaseline and massaged it over the scalp slowly until it glistened in the sun. He looked at himself in the small mirror he had brought and made a pout for himself; he really was God's gift to humanity! He continued down his body; like the men in model magazines, he wanted his body to shine. He massaged it over his chest, around his n*****s and moaned. He then dragged it down the rounded belly and took his time. He had much to be happy about, so it took some time. Finally, he was done. He turned around and looked for his next prey—the next to get the unique opportunity to see him up close. He looked around before his gaze finally stopped. ON YOU!

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