My Heart Hates Me

Chapter 1 I'm not gonna start with 'Once upon a time' because this tale is definitely not that old. I don't know if it's a tragedy or a happily ever after—— All I know is... It took me tons just to be part of this story of me and him. Because I was breathing dreams like air until he arrived. Everyone has the freedom to fall in love with anyone they want, but things are not the same for everyone. 'Your life partner will be decided even before you're born'...How would anyone like that? The tale goes like this, Lucus Garnette and Aruto Hiomi were best friends in high school. Aruto Hiomi belonged to a rich Japanese family while Lucus was a farmer's son. At that time, Aruto's family was staying in Berlin, while Lucus went to a Berlin school as there were no schools in Miltenberg. However, Aruto was quite open—minded and did not mind befriending Lucus. He helped Lucus financially and their bond deepened as they grew up. Soon, they became best friends. After their graduation, Aruto decided to go back to Japan to take over his father's business while Lucus went back to his village to help his father with the fields but they were still in contact because of this great invention called a 'telephone'. They decided that to strengthen their friendship, they'll get their children married to each other. I wasn't born till then, neither was Kirito. After a year, the Garnette family was blessed with a beautiful daughter. She had bright blue eyes surrounded by long and beautiful eyelashes. Her pinkish white hair glorified her face with a tint of pink undertone on her cheeks and rose like lips. Mr Lucus was overjoyed and sent for Aruto right away. Under a dove grey sky, the colours of the world don its winter coats, each hue darker and richer than before. The path was sparkling and crunchy as they left their footprints. The air formed a frozen lace on their skin, delicate and cold, like winter waves on shallow sand. They reached a small house and knocked on the door when Mr Lucus Garnette, a blonde, meek man, opened it. Ayato hugged Lucus and said "Congratulations" They reached the baby's room, where the baby was lying wrapped up in a swaddling and soft white blanket near her mother. Mr and Mrs Hiomi looked at the baby girl. She was fast asleep with her small curls covering her face. "Aw," Both of them said together. "She'll make the perfect bride for my son," Mr Hiomi said with a smile "What's her name?" "We decided to name her Vivian, it means someone who is 'Alive and Energetic'" Lucus said "That's a beautiful name," Arito said "Then I'll name my son Kirito— the God of the valley of the alive" Mr Hiomi said. So, my husband was meant to be a God I was supposed to worship for the rest of my life. I wish they had taken good care of him, for me at least... But they didn't. Five years passed, I was five years old then and Kirito was four. Mr and Mrs Hiomi traced back the same path as he was walking down, on that winter dawn. It was autumn and the sky was barely visible due to the orange leaves of the trees. He kept his suitcase aside and knocked the same door again. The door opened and a woman with pink curls came out. As soon as she saw them, she smiled "It's been a while, Mr and Mrs Hiomi. And how are you, Kirito?" She said as she leaned towards Kirito. Kirito hid behind his mother. He was the shy type, well and I, I wasn't. "Lucus is out for some petty business if you could wait here for a moment" Mrs Garnette said. "Where is Vivian?" Mr Hiomi asked. "She's playing in the fields, why don't you go meet her," Mrs Garnette suggested with a smile. "Yes, I will," Mr Hiomi said as he got up and paced towards the field. He wandered in the fields for some time until he found me, a girl sitting on a huge Jersey cow. I looked at Mr Hiomi and smiled "Do you want this berry uncle, you can take it, Vivian has many" Like all other five—year—old kids, I was stupid. But unlike all other five—year—old kids, I was going to be engaged. He asked me if I knew him and of course, I didn't. I had never seen him before, that's what my memories said but was I right? Definitely, I wasn't. But, I did know about Kirito. In all my memory, even then, I could forget everything— thanks to my short term memory problems, but not Kirito's name. I was a slow learner, I could forget even my birthday, but not Kirito's. Mr Hiomi leaned towards me and with a gentle smile, he said: "Vivian, I'm here from Japan and I—" "Oh! You're Kirito's father?" I was so excited for my own downfall. He was there to meet me—— Not because he liked me or he missed me—— He couldn't care less about that—— It was just that our parents had decided to get us engaged beforehand. I left everyone for him... But he left me for everyone else. You know, Kirito Hiomi, he has always been this way. Shorter than most men with huge pride. I have to fight every time to catch his attention and every time we touched, never once did it feel right. How many times did I fall for you over and over again? Oh yeah, I didn't count—— I didn't know how to count heartbreaks yet. So, we got engaged in the end and naturally, as a typical five—year—old, I was happy. I mean we ate cake! That was a big deal for me. But, I wasn't free now— Not anymore. As the days went by, my expectations grew. I thought goodbyes were closed Chapters, but for you, they weren't. It felt like I was a page ripped out from one story and forcefully pasted in your book of life. Mom brought storybooks of princesses and princes, angels, demons, mermaids, fairies, magic and what not to make me believe that magic exists. And like Cinderella, one—day Kirito will come to my place and take me away to a huge castle and angels would guide our way forever. Chapter 2 "Do angels exist?" I asked my mother while we were walking in the fields, calling out for the cows to come back home. I was seven then—— naive and foolish. "What do you think?" Mom said as she gigged. "I think they do, that's why they brought me Kirito" "Then I think they do exist," She said and went ahead whistling for the cows ."Will I ever meet one, mama?" I asked but I guess she didn't hear me. Maybe Kirito was an angel... That's what I thought as I danced through the valleys. A small flower fell on my hair from above. Strange it was because there were no flowers around. I never found out where it came from until I realised what it might be! So I looked up and smiled "I know that was you" Oh how good it would have been if we met by chance and not choice. If we would fall in love like all other humans do— Under God's plan and not that of mortals, But we didn't and you know what— I'm glad we didn't, Ethan ****** So many years had passed and now that Vivian was finally 25 years old, the preparations for her marriage commenced. Vivian was taught everything so that she would become the perfect wife that Kirito needed. Three days after Vivian turned 25, the Garnettes received a phone call. Kirito was coming to meet her. It was a Friday morning and the preparations to welcome the Hiomi family were in full bloom. Delia, Vivian's younger sibling, was getting dressed up while Mrs Garnette was cleaning up the living room "Where's Vivian?" She asked Delia. "Probably still sleeping," Delia replied as she looked into the mirror while combing her hair. "What?!" Mrs Garnette kept the mop aside and rushed upstairs to Vivian's room. It was sweltering like every other German morning. Mrs Garnette was covered with dust and perspired as she walked through the small staircase and opened the door to a cramped room. All the clothes were thrown on the floor and the window was blocked with books. Mrs Garnette shook her head as she kept the books on the table aside and opened the curtains. The sun rays penetrated into the room, filling it with cups of light. "Vivian!" Mrs Garnette turned towards a small bed "Are you still having a kater?" She picked up the clothes from the floor assuming that they were to be washed. "The sun is on the head already! Even Delia is up! Get up now!" The blanket twirled and and a pink head popped out from above "Moin mama," (Tn//Moin— Good morning) "Kirito is to visit today. Do you want to look like an assi? Go take a bath and dress up!" Mrs Garnette ordered. (Assi— Comes from a low income area, uneducated) Vivian threw the blanket aside and lay on the bed. She had blue eyes and pink hair with a tint of golden in them. Her skin was a semitone of pink, orange and golden, with golden being the more dominant of them all. She was dressed up in a black brasserie and pink underwear. "How many times have I told you not to sleep naked? How krass!" Mrs Garnette threw a shirt towards her. "It's very uncomfortable to sleep with clothes on," Vivian got up and scratched her head. "Get up now. You know the Hiomi family is coming for the customs today, right? You have your wedding next month!" Mrs Garnette shouted and left the untidy room. Vivian stared at the ring in her fingers and smiled "Kirito is coming," "Vivian! Go get Betty from the hills and Rhea take a bath!" Delia shouted from downstairs. Vivian got up from the bed and stretched her body. She looked into her wardrobe and took out a standard German frock and a hat. She kept the frock inside a basket with a towel, a comb and some makeup. She donned a traditional German frock——Her everyday wear. "Mom, I'm going to get Betty!" She shouted as she wore her dirndl shoes and walked out of the house. "Wait—— Why did you let her go? She needs to get ready!" Mrs Garnette shouted at Delia. "Mom, she needs to get Betty?" "Couldn't you do it?" "I loathe cows!" As the morning sun shone ahead just over the hills, Vivian walked through the crowd with her basket in her hand. "Moin Vivian!" Mr Zajnog greeted her as he stood outside the town pub with a drink in his hand. His wife stood beside him with a loaf of bread in her basket. "Moin!" Vivian smiled. "Goin' ta get Betty, eh?" He asked. "Yes," "I heard your fiancé is coming today," Mrs Zajnoc said. "Yes, I'm getting married next month," "Let's grab a drink in that case! Get 'em some beer!" He shouted. Vivian laughed "This evening, then. Not right now," Vivian ran towards the hill. She walked into the vegetation and found Betty, her cow, grazing in the fields of grasses spread across the hills. "Betty! Let's go wash up. Then, we'll go home," Vivian hugged her cow and Betty simply mooed. They walked to the pond and Betty made her way into the cold water. Vivian kept the basket into the bushes and kept her hat over it. She removed her shoes and jumped into the water. She sang a song as she played with her cow into the water. She rubbed the lotus petals on her skin as it was a special day. After she was done bathing, she changed into the red frock as Betty covered her up. She combed her hair that reached till her knees. She applied some lipstick and some powder. "There! We are ready for Kirito," Vivian tied a bow around Betty's neck and hugged her "See Betty, I'm so big now. Kirito is finally here—— It's all like a magical dream," Chapter 3 Betty mooed and Vivian chuckled. She looked into Betty's blue eyes "Let's go home now. We might be late," They both walked back downtown from the hill. When she reached her house, she saw her mother standing at the door. "Mama, I got Betty," Vivian smiled. "Vivian!" Mrs Garnette shouted carefully, making sure her voice wasn't loud "Good thing you're already dressed," "How do I look?" Vivian asked as she held her frock "Beautiful right?" "Yes, indeed," Mrs Garnette smiled and quickly went inside the kitchen.