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The Other Man

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Blurb

"Who is the other man ?

He’s an accident waiting to happen: the skateboarder round the bend, the smiling barista with the extra hot mocha, the computer geek eager to retool your mate’s hard drive. He’s a relationship gatecrasher bound by no rules and with no sense of fair play. Like Caesar, he comes, he sees, he conquers. On the flip side, you or I can be the other man, charging in and breaking the bonds of a committed relationship without a thought to the pain and misery inflicted upon the injured parties. Face it: We’re not all innocent bystanders in other-man scenarios.

The Other Man is an artistic collaboration by and about gay men and their relationships. If you’ve ever been the other man, had him invade your life, or are just plain curious about this beguiling, unpredictable and dangerous creature, then this anthology of personal essays is for you. Twenty-one of our most acclaimed authors, many Lambda Award winners and finalists, write candidly about either being the other man, suffering the other man or having their relationships tested by infidelity. What they tell us is we must take heart, it does get better and one day our luck is bound to change. We’ll survive the bumps and detours in our relationships and weather the storms, or resolve to move on. Along the way, we’ll hope to meet someone new and simpatico, maybe even our long-awaited soul mate. Life will be good again. Or will it?

Contributors include: Perry Brass, Austin Bunn, Rob Byrnes, Mark Canavera, R.W. Clinger, Lewis DeSimone, Paul Alan Fahey, Wes Hartley, William Henderson, Allen Mack, Jeff Mann, Tom Mendicino, Erik Orrantia, Felice Picano, David Pratt, Glen Retief, Jeffrey Ricker, Rodney Ross, Jason Schneiderman, Philip Dean Walker, and Chuck Willman. Edited by: Paul Alan Fahey.

A portion of the proceeds from the sale of this anthology will go to the It Gets Better Project."

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Introduction-1
Introduction He’s a trespasser, an interloper, the peckerwood who gets between you and your lover, partner or mate. The male equivalent of Cleopatra, Mae West, and Jessica Rabbit rolled into one threatening package. He’s an accident waiting to happen: the skateboarder 'round the bend, the smiling barista with the extra hot mocha, or the computer geek eager to retool your mate’s hard drive. He’s a relationship gatecrasher, bound by no rules and with no sense of fair play. Who is he? He’s the other man, and like Caesar, he comes, he sees, he conquers, and leaves behind something akin to a lingering, twenty-four hour flu or at worst, a really bad case of the Black Death. If we’re young, in our late twenties or early thirties, there’s a glimmer of hope. We pick ourselves up and move on. If older, our new best friend might be our analyst or possibly the urologist we now see on a regular basis. As the walking wounded, we don’t eat. We can’t sleep. We sense that the earth has stopped rotating. The minutes drag like hours, the days like years. We pass a mirror and see ourselves as we really are: unwanted and unloved. We are too fat, too short, too everything. We should have exercised more at the gym, lifted weights. Spent extra time on the treadmill, less in the Jacuzzi. We finger the dark circles under our eyes and notice the beginning of a double chin. Are those jowls? We notice wrinkles no sane person would ever call laugh lines. In desperation, we secretly check our partner’s computer and search his emails. We open bedroom drawers digging for clues, evidence of his deception. We become other man detectives.

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