In Love With My Boss

Five

'Are you out of your mind?' asks Christian wiggling a french fry in my direction. 'Do you even know who you are dealing with there, Rose? I mean, this man could make you disappear from the face of the Earth and nobody would say a thing because they are too afraid to even look him in the eyes, and you plan to defy him? Did you hit your head recently or something? And how do you even plan to do that? Bring him the wrong coffee every day?'

'No, I didn't hit my head. And I didn't ask to be his ass kisser, okay? Nobody told me that I will be working for this guy. If I would have known, do you think I would have signed any contract? No! But now I am bound with a f*****g piece of paper. So, I am going to be a pain in his ass, until he fires me. Because I am not going to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me quit. Not to that ''you won't last more than a week'' Petrov woman and especially not to him. Rose Hathaway is definitely not a job quitter. I won't be another secretary he drove insane. This time it will be the other way around. And in fact, I don't think I had so much fun in months. You should have seen the face he made yesterday while trying not to spill all that liquid sugar I brought to him. It was hilarious. Oh, and the stare he gave me when I put that Starbucks cup on his table? Priceless. And besides that, I get paid to f**k with him. What more could I ask for from this life?'

'Um, some more time living peacefully on this planet might seem a good idea to ask for.' Christian replies very proud of himself. I crumble my napkin and throw it in his direction.

'Don't you think that you are exaggerating a little, Rose?' asked Lissa, the voice of good reason. 'Is it that bad? I mean, maybe he is not that bad in fact. Maybe he is just harsh because he has to, you know?'

'No, I surely don't exaggerate. As I was waiting for him to move his ass home yesterday, I talked a little with some other girls from around the building. By the way, they are not easy to find. I could barely find two gals hanging on a hallway. I guess that everybody out there is a prisoner into their office. Or they are playing some continuous hide and seek game nobody bothered to tell me about. Anyway. He is famous around there when it comes to his secretaries. First of all, he f***s everything he lays his eyes on, no exception. He is that arrogant. He thinks that he can have every girl he wants and it seems that those stupid girls before me just proved him right. I'll give this to him, he is hot. No. Smokin' hot. If he wouldn't be such a d**k, even I would jump on him. But he won't lay a damn finger on me. Oh, and to complete the package, after he has s*x with them, his little girlfriend finds out somehow; who knows, maybe he brags to her; and she would just go to HR and make those poor girls get fired, just because she can't make his toy stay locked into his pants. Yeah, it's those women's fault too, but still. Plus, I don't even understand why his girlfriend is putting up with this s**t and doesn't just go and look for someone better. I mean, he's not the only man on earth.'

'Yeah, but you know-'

'Oh and hear this...sorry for interrupting you Liss...he has a record. Well, others keep track of that, but you get what I mean. Listen to this. He has made a secretary go to HR crying and quit in only 25 minutes. Nobody could make her say what happened. I am one of the lucky ones if I got past that. And the longest time one girl could handle his annoying ass was, can you guess? A whole week. Just one week. I have no idea what he does to them; maybe he is just too intimidating and they can't handle the pressure, I don't know. But I surely won't let him f**k with me. I will do anything in my power to turn everything he says or does. And maybe, just maybe, he will begin to act like a f*****g normal human being for once. This is a revolution that I am starting against horrible bosses. Right here, and right now my friends. Are you with me?'

Christian was now imitating crying sounds. 'Oh, my dear Rose, you grew up so fast. Now you are going to follow your own path in life and you are living for a greater purpose: not letting bosses f**k with their employees. Both literally and figuratively. I am so, so proud of you.' He says fakely wiping some tears. 'Lissa, our baby girl is finally a grown up. What do you say about making some patches too? We could write on them something like, ''Chastity belt for Belikov'' and then hand them all around the office. '

'Oh, bite me, Ozera.' I say but I can't stop myself from laughing. Setting aside the sarcasm thrown in my direction, he is funny.

'So, what do you plan to do first?' Lissa asks.

'I plan on starting with this little baby' I say as I show them a notebook with unicorns that is full of pink glitter and which I bought that morning. 'I have the feeling that he won't enjoy all this glitter falling on his precious papers. Or getting glued on his Armani suits. Or all over the floor.' I say smiling mischievously.

Monday comes

I am planning on taking things one by one, so I give up on dressing up in a clown's suit for now, but this thing is going to come to life a little later. I just need to find the perfect day to do so. Oh, and maybe if I will get out from under his desk dressed like that I will scare him hard enough to give him a heart attack.

I resume to simply dressing into a plain black skirt I haven't worn since senior high, that passes my knees and a flowery old blouse my mother bought me and I never really wore. Now I am looking like a grandmother, not a nun. Maybe he will like this change. But what is coming next is going to be so fun. I can't wait for that day.

I get to the office around 5:45. It is so hard for me to wake up so damn early. How was I even able to do this in high school? Now I can barely keep my eyes open. But this is my job, for as long as it lasts.

I make his coffee, black, simple, the way my mother uses to. This is one of the few things that I have from her besides constant disapproval. Well, we manage with what we get, right? I pour the coffee into two mugs, one for him and one for me because I don't think I'll make it till noon without some extra help. At exactly 5:59 I knock on his door and he lets me in. I carry his cup of coffee in one hand and my bright pink, very glittery notebook in the other.

I smile as I say 'Good morning, Mister Belikov.' and get closer to his desk. I place the coffee cup right next to a coaster that I have seen and decided to ignore and sit on one of the chairs in front of him. To some more effect, I pretend to adjust my position by wiggling left and right, making the expensive leather squeak under my moves.

He takes his eyes off the papers that he was reading, greets me back and then stares at the cup of coffee. Hell, if he stares at it for longer, he might be able to move it telepathically, I guarantee that. He opens his mouth. Let the fun begin.

'The coaster is there for a reason, Miss Hathway.'

'It's Hathaway.' I say with some attitude, emphasizing the second a. He can at least know my damn name.

He blinks once in response and clenches his jaw. Is he going to fire me now?

I put my notebook on his beautiful bureau with a thud, so that some glitter would spread around, I raise and move the cup on the coaster.

'Is this better, Sir?'

He looks away and takes a deep breath.

'Yes. It is better.' then he takes the cup and sips.

'I thought I told you to make the coffee yourself, not to buy it and change the cup.'

'But I made it myself.'

'No, you didn't. Don't lie to me.'

'I am not. And if you don't trust me, Sir, you are my guest tomorrow to see how I am preparing it.'

I so liked to add those unnecessary ''Sirs'' into my sentences, told with a specific tone. I could feel that they were irritating him. Exactly what I wished.

Then, I take my notebook, open it and take a pen out of my skirt's pockets. He eyes that notebook like he wants to burn it with his stare. Good. Let's just hope that I won't burn along with it.

'So, what are we going to do today, Mister Belikov?'

He blinks again. I can say that he is pissed off. Big time.

'You have to tell me that, not the other way around. You should have already made my schedule for the whole week. There is an agenda on your desk.'

'Oh, but I didn't know that. May I be excused a little, Sir?'

He nods. As I am making my way to the door, he says:

'Miss Hathaway?'

'Yes, Sir?'

'I thought I told you to get rid of those nun clothes.'

'Oh, but I did. These are my grandma clothes.' I respond as I exit his office smiling.

As I close the door I hear him say something in Russian. I hope that he is not saying bad words to me. Because I have my stash of bad words if he wants to argue. And what about not liking people mumbling? Doesn't the rule apply to him too?

I turn around, open the door and ask: 'Did you say something, Mister Belikov? I think I didn't hear it clear enough.'

His face turns blank and he eyes me.

'I guess that I am just hearing things then.' and I put on a smile. 'My bad.'

God, it feels so good f*****g with him. How far can I take it until he snaps?

***

Five minutes later I am back into his office with the schedule for the whole week. But on Thursday, especially for him, I programmed a dinner with himself at seven, at some of the fanciest restaurants in town. He is going to go to that restaurant and wait for Mister Alexei Rudov. Whoever the hell this nonexistent man would be. I hope that he would wait all night long. Maybe I'll even get Lissa to go with me and watch him try to keep his s**t together. Yeah, that would be really fun. It would beat any movie we would watch on our movie night.

For today he has a presentation and a dinner with someone named Tasha. Is this that stupid girlfriend of his? Yeah, I guess that this was her name. I didn't bother to withhold this information.

He takes me with him at that presentation. It is about how they were going to cushion some investment into the construction of some apartment buildings, if they decide to make it.

We enter a full conference room and take the only two empty seats that have the best view in the room. I bet that no one ever dares to touch these chairs. I sit next to him and someone shortly begins to speak.

And I try so hard to listen to the man speaking in front of us. But I get tired of all the useless technical details he gives to us, just to sound intelligent. I particularly dislike this kind of people. He could have said what he is currently saying for one hour now in only half an hour and be more effective, but he chooses to waste everybody's time instead. And I don't think he'll finish soon. His PowerPoint says 23/59. We are totally doomed. If I fall asleep is anybody going to notice? I promise not to snore.

At some point along the presentation, as I was carrying that stupid notebook with me, Belikov leans over and tells me:

'You are my secretary. You should take some notes.' and points towards my notebook, a smug expression on his face.

What? Couldn't he understand all that bullshit that the i***t in front of us was speaking about and wanted me to simplify it for him? Fine. I open my little notebook, careful to spread in the process some glitter on his pants and shoes and begin to write a hell of a summary. Like he is really going to read it anyway. He is doing this on purpose.

''Lots of technical useless bullshit. Useleeeeeess.

He tries too hard to seem smart. He's not. Like, at all. Trust me, I can tell.

Did he just mispronounce Taiwan? Please tell me that I was the one who heard that wrong.

Where did they even find this man? Did someone check if he is really an employee here?

You have got to be kidding me! He did that again!

**Face palm**

Take this man back to first grade, please.

Let's make him write it down, what about that?

He doesn't understand himself half of the things he is saying.

But neither do I, I sincerely confess. And neither anybody else in here I guess.

We work with money for f**k's sake!

We are not building those apartments with our own hands. We would be on the construction site, hammers in hands if we would.

We don't need to know that there are like 374 types of polystyrene either.

We want to know where the money is going!

And from where the money is coming. If it is even going to come.

He is wasting everybody's time.

I am bored.

Is this going to last forever?

It seems so.

Am I going to get old here?

Well, at least I am wearing grandma clothes already.

I think that some white hairs are starting to grow on my boss' head.

Yup, I just spotted one!

Oh, I think I almost fell asleep.

My luck that this guy is still speaking.

Otherwise, I'd take a nap on my boss.

He seems comfy.

I want to stab myself into the eye with this pen.

But I'll make a mess around here and someone would surely make me clean it up.

This glitter looks so cute on my boss' black pants.

It's shiny.

And it is setting off his eyes too.''

DPOV begins

She actually listened to me and now she is hasting through the pages of the notebook, filling them with big curly words. And she looks, well, cute. I have never used this word to describe any other human being except a kid, but in this very moment, Rose simply looks cute. She seems truly concentrated on what she is doing and it seems that nothing around her exists anymore as she keeps on shifting her attention from the man speaking to the pink notebook that she is proudly carrying around. Did I mention that as she is writing down she is knitting her eyebrows lightly into a small grimace and from time to time her tongue would get out and rest between her full lips as she is finishing the sentence, taking care to put all the diacritics in place? Yeah, there is no other word that could describe her at this moment except cute.

I hear my surname and snap out of my daydream. I think that I have lost the last ten minutes of the presentation. Totally worth it, in my opinion. Wait, what? What is happening to me? Since when am I studying women? I mean, I would usually check them out, looking at their body, but this time it is different. It's like her features are mesmerizing me. And I can't stop thinking about how she would look with her hair unclasped. I have known this woman since Friday and now I am not capable of taking my eyes off her. What the hell Dimitri?

DPOV ends

''I could have made this presentation shorter.

And on the f*****g point.

Some people around here might have something else to do today.

But what do I know?

**eye rolls internally so that she wouldn't get caught by her boss**

I'm not the one having a schedule for someone written in my notebook.

This presentation is going on for too long now.

Does anybody understand all the things that this guy is debiting?

It could have lasted for half an hour.

And everybody would have left with something in their heads.

And anyway he is wrong.

They won't be able to get their money back.

And surely as hell, they won't make any profit.

Ha! This guy is trying to fool everybody in this room.

If they invest in this project, I am going to quit.

But meh, what do I really know?

I only make some coffee in this building.

And I take notes that no one will read at presentations.

Oh, and I am the owner of a v****a.

So my opinion doesn't matter anyway.

Is somebody going to read my notes or I am wasting this pen for nothing?

Maybe I should have drawn a kitten instead.

Too bad I suck at drawing.''

Proud of myself, I close the notebook and throw a smile in my boss's direction.

Finally, the presentation finishes. We get up and head to the office. In the elevator, he extends a hand in my direction. I look at him questioning.

'Your notebook. I saw you made some notes. I want to see them.'

'Um, I don't think that-'

'The notebook, Miss Hathaway.'

I extend it and bow my head down. Well, this my friends, is the end of my career.

DPOV begins

She wrote about five pages. But I don't find what I expected to find. There is no summary of the presentation. Not that I needed one. I just wanted to play with her, to see what she is going to do.

And I am pleasantly surprised. This girl has some brain, not just like my other secretaries that would act like sheep. She is right about that incompetent. He was full of s**t. She is the only one who didn't buy that man's bullshit. Everybody else just agreed with him. I am impressed.

And she has a sense of humor too. But I don't appreciate her language very much. She seems too nice to speak this way. I can't imagine these words coming out those beautiful lips of hers.

I wouldn't have minded at all if she would have fallen asleep on me, that's for sure.

At the glitter part, a little smile escapes my lips. I know that she brought that thing with her on purpose. She made sure to walk all over the office this morning and I could see her scratching her nails on the covers to make the glitter fall. It is really a pain in the ass to get rid of so much glitter. All my office is covered in pink shiny sparkles now. I think I am going to take some of it home too.

She seems to have the brains, but she seems too full of herself. Yeah, she was able to see through that man's words, but what matters is what she would be able to do next. I'll give her a chance to prove herself. Let's see how she manages this. Will she still have the words by her side then?

DPOV ends

He opens it. And he reads. At some point, he gives a little smile. Oh, he just found a way to make me feel sorry for this, right? He reads some more. Then, before finishing, he frowns. He closes the notebook and gives it back to me. I take it. His hand is full of glitter. I almost laugh. Almost. Because he is fixating me with his glare. I look back at him. If he is going to fire me, he will have to look me into the eyes while he does it.

In response, he nods.

'You are right.'

I look at him in pure surprise. What? No, ''You are fired Miss Hathaway, get the hell out.''?

'Why?'

'Why what?'

'Why do you think we won't get our money back?'

'I don't think that. I know it for sure.'

'Tell me why.'

'Because no normal person would even buy an apartment in that area. Yeah, it is nicely placed and the view is spectacular, but in order to build that, that little genius wants to clear out like half a forest. That increases the risk of landslides to the roof, especially if it is a rainy area. People won't care if the apartment has been made with bricks brought from f*****g Taiwan or other things like that. They will care if the building can resist in time. People want stability when it comes to their homes. And that building won't resist for too long. Simple. Even a little kid won't fall for that guy's shit.'

He nods again. 'Good, Hathaway, good. Now make a presentation and prove that guy wrong. And watch your language.'

'Oh, yeah..oh sh- oh sorry, Sir. When does it have to be done? Should I give you the notes or something?'

'No. Tomorrow. Go home and do the presentation. Tomorrow you are going to talk in front of the people. It's your work so it's presentation too.'

I frown. 'M-m-me? I'm just a secretary. Why should I make this presentation in front of all those people?'

'It's your idea. So you are going to show it to the people.'

'No. I don't do this type of things. You are the boss, so you do it.'

'No. You will do it. '

'But I am afraid of speaking in public. I won't do it.' I shake my head, trying to emphasize my decision.

'You'll get over it.' He says lazily. 'It won't be that bad.' Like you would have any idea.

'Yes, it will. There was this one time in third grade when I had to present this book in fr-'and I see him very interested in what I have to say but I decide to stop. Why would I even want to embarrass myself in front of him with that stupid story? I sigh. 'It doesn't matter. I'll do it.' It's not like I have any other chance, right?

Seeing that things have gotten his way, he nods and turns around. 'See you tomorrow, Miss Hathaway.' he says lastly as he enters his office.

Me and my cleverness. Now I have put myself into some bigger s**t.