In Love With My Boss

Six

I spend almost all my night studying papers and trying to come up with a good speech. I can write one; I am good with words, always have been. But to speak in front of so many people? Naaaah. I couldn't. I just couldn't. Why did I have to brag? Me and my big mouth. I so deserve this s**t.

Finally, around three in the morning I finish it. And I really like it. Now the only thing I have to do is to actually show it in front of like fifty people. f**k! I hope that I won't stutter. Not too much at least.

I go to sleep. At least I can catch a good nap until my clock rings.

And that bastard does ring. In exactly three seconds, Lissa throws a pillow at me.

'Make that stop! I am trying to sleep. I had a night shift for God's sake!'

'Yeah, yeah. Sorry, Liss.' I respond as I get up. God, I feel so bad. My eyes are stinging. And I can't stop myself from yawning. Maybe going to sleep wasn't such a good idea after all. It's easier to stay up until five than to wake up at this inhumanly hour.

I drag myself out of the cozy bed and I take a cold shower, waking up for good. I put on a nice body fitted blue dress and encircle my waist with a thin black belt. Lissa educated me in some psychology last night, saying that it is proven by some studies that if you were wearing blue, people were inclined to think that you are saying the truth. The things scientists waste money and time on, instead of finding the way to make you live forever, huh? But hell, I guess I need all the help I could get. I put my hair into a high ponytail, put on some black high heels and get out fast, because I am about to be late. I get into the car, throw all of my papers on the passenger seat and push the speed pedal.

I arrive at 5:40. Well, I have time to make that coffee. And I sure as hell need one; otherwise I'll fall asleep on the projector. I get upstairs and go into the little kitchen. I almost squeal as I see Belikov sitting on one of the chairs. What the hell?

'Um, good morning, Mister Belikov! You came to see with your own eyes how I am making that coffee with my own hands?'

He nods. Really? Okay, this man has trust issues or something? Why would I even lie about a damn coffee? But I am in no position to criticize him right now. Maybe later. Surely later.

While I prepare it, I keep on yawning. And I don't seem to be able to stop.

'Long night?'

Like he didn't know. He is the one who told me to make that presentation. I almost give him a b***h glare. Instead, I restrain myself and nod.

The coffee is done and I take the kettle to pour it into the cups. As I am doing so, he rises from his chair and comes behind me, a little too close for my taste I may add, and he tilts his head to see what I am doing. What, is he afraid I'll put some poison into his cup? I could have done that yesterday. And maybe I should have done it.

I glue myself to the counter, to avoid contact with him. The hell if I am ever going to give in to him. He can try everything he wants. Then, when nothing would work out his way, he could just go to hell.

I turn around and hand him the hot cup, creating some distance between us.

'Here. Taste it, please. It will prove you that I am not lying, Sir.'

He takes it and sips, and then nods. I take my coffee too and drink it.

We stay there, facing each other and sipping coffee. It feels so awkward. Should I say something? Did the room just become smaller? I suddenly feel shy and I have no idea why.

He finishes his cup and puts it on the counter behind me.

DPOV begins

I again got closer to her in the process and her strong perfume infiltrates into my nostrils. God, she smells delicious. I'd like a piece of her right now, on this counter. The smell of jasmine combined with some vanilla I guess is simply hypnotizing and my brain clouds for a second. I get in front of her. She slowly raises her head and looks at me. This blue dress is perfectly rounding all of her curves and contrasts with her dark eyes and I lose myself into that deepness. She seems confused and opens her mouth to say something, but words don't come out. Looking at her lips moving, I suddenly feel the need to touch her. Without any conscious thought, I raise my hand and move it upwards, with the intention to brush my fingers on her plump lips. They must be so soft. But her eyes widen and her head turns around fast, and she is now looking at my halfway up arm. Is she afraid of me? I won't do anything to her. Well, not unless she wants me to. Oh, and the things I would do with her.

DPOV ends

Does he want to touch my arm or something? The hell if I am letting him put one finger on me! Find something Rose, fast!

'Oh, God, it is so late!' I say as I point to his watch. 'People must be waiting for us.'

He looks like his plan didn't go as he thought it would. Aw, too bad for him. Get used to it Belikov.

'You go, Miss Hathaway. Start without me. I have something to do first.'

I nod, gather all my notes and get to the conference room. It is full of people. Five people is the maximum I can handle. But this? This is waaay to much. I already feel sick. I enter and greet everybody. Just some of them bother to respond. The others are busy ignoring me. I get to the front of the room.

'Um, can I have your attention, please? Hello again!' I say louder and the chit chat stops. My name is Rose Hathaway and,' aaand, they got back to ignoring me. 'Um, Mister Belikov told me to start the presentation without him. He will join us some time later.'

But almost no one is paying attention to me. I put my PowerPoint on and I take a deep breath.

'So, I am going to present to you all the reasons why yesterday's apartment construction-'' Just like three people look at me. I grit my teeth. '-is not going to be profitable for this company. I am going to start with the ecological effects that this...'

Okay, so this is like the most unrespectful thing that ever happened to me. So I raise my voice. 'Hey! Would all of you be nice enough to listen to what I have to say? I didn't work all night so that you can ignore me, okay? ' the room goes silent and some of them look seepishly at me, shutting their mouths.' Good. Thanks.'

But a man speaks before I get the chance to get back to my speech.

'Who are you again?'

'I am Rose.' you jackass.

'Yeah, that I heard. But what do you do around the building?'

'I am Mister Belikov's secretary.' some people puff around the room.

The guy rolls his eyes. 'Another one.' he says sarcastically.

'And what is that supposed to mean?' I cross my hands over my chest and throw him an ugly glare.

'Nothing. Just go on with your thing.' and he gets his attention back to the man next to him. 'So what were you saying about Kathy?'

And after this I tell my speech to no one in particular. Everyone is talking to everyone and I can barely hear myself over their buzzing. I can feel my knees shake. I feel so insignificant. I begin to scratch my hands, leaving red marks behind. I am so angry!

All of a sudden, I get dragged back to primary school at that f*****g presentation. And I don't like it at all. Who knew kids could get so mean? Good thing I knew how to throw a punch back then too. Too bad that now I can't punch everyone in this room, even though I would like that very much. But I keep my anger under control and just go on with my speech.

Two sentences later, I hear someone whisper: 'What is she doing here anyway? Shouldn't she be giving Belikov a b*****b or something? Instead she's here trying to seem smart.' And God, if I would only have seen the bastard who said that.

You know what? I am not going to let them treat me like this. I am getting out of here now. They can all just go and f**k themselves. I get my notes and make two steps towards the exit. But I spot the fucker who just made that comment, as he is snickering into the back of the room, proud of himself. Well, I am going there to give him a piece of my mind. I am going to tell him who is supposed to give blowjobs and especially to whom. But I don't get the chance, because the door opens all of a sudden.

DPOV begins

I stop before opening the conference room door and listen to what is happening inside. Let's see how she is managing this. People are talking. Did Rose flee already? I got it when she said that she has stage fright, but five minutes were the best she could do? It's weird, because with her attitude and brains, I thought that she would rock this presentation. I already read it and it's really good. I mainly read it because I was planning to give her all my attenton, not to her presentation.

But as I listen closely, I hear her speaking, trying to cover all that noise. And people are speaking over her. Then she stops speaking. I open the door fast and make my way in and I spot her in the front of the room, next to the projector. She is holding some papers into her hands, clutching them into her palm and her face is harsh, jaw tight. But as her eyes meet mine, they transmit me that she is hurt about whatever just happened in here. Anger shots through me out of nowhere.

DOPV ends

He enters. In a millisecond, the chit chat ceases. Fuckers. I shut up as well.

'Mister Drozdov, what was Miss Hathaway talking about? I couldn't be here to hear the beginning. Would you like to fill me in?'

Complete silence is the only response he gets.

'Miss Rinaldi?'

Silence again.

As he leans over, he slaps the table so hard that I think my eardrums are going to pop. Okay, I am officially scared of this man.

'Then why do we even bother?' he says calmly. How he does that? 'Why should we have both the perspectives of a situation if none of you is going to listen?' he continued just as calm, but I could feel that he was about to snap someone's neck. I am horrified. For real. 'Then, we should just invest into this business, right?'

Some unfortunate guys have the courage to say yes.

He slaps the table again. 'Wrong!' he screams this time. My heart is pounding so hard that I think it is going to break my rib cage. I put one hand on the table next to me, to support myself. Where is all of this coming from? 'If any of you would have bothered to even listen to Miss Hathaway over there,' oh, that's me right? What did I do? 'You would have seen that she has a point.'

Nothing happened for like two minutes straight. Nothing moved. No one breathed. The only thing you could hear was the light buzzing of the neons. Then he speaks again.

'Mister Drozdov, take the papers from Miss Hathaway and go make copies for everyone here. You all are going to spend the rest of your day here, reading what she could have told you. And when I come back here, I want to hear her speech from everybody, understood?' and with that he left without getting an answer. What did just happen?

I get out and follow him, still shaking. I guess that this is the right thing I have to do. I am too shocked to do anything else. We get to the hallway and the he turns to me and says calmly, almost soothing, his tone changing drastically from earlier: 'You can take the rest of the day off, Miss Hathaway.'

'B-but I-'

'You did a good job with your presentation, I read it. You will just have to work a little at making people listen to you. But for now, go home.' and he enters the elevator, leaving me bewildered into the hallway.

'You should have seen him, Liss. He looked like he was possessed or something. And that poor Drozdov guy. He was white as a piece of chalk. I think he may have s**t his pants too. And that thing with reading the presentation all day long? Gosh, now I know why people fear him so much.'

'Does this mean that you are going to quit? I really don't like the idea of you being near that man. What if one day he'll snap at you? I mean, you are pushing this man's buttons big time.'

'Hell no! I am still not going to give him this satisfaction.'

'At least promise me that you'll take it easy. I don't know, this entire defying thing, I don't like it.'

'Don't worry. I don't think he'll do anything to me. And I know how to throw a punch. Or run. I'll see what works best in that situation.'

'Rose, don't joke about that. I really don't like this.'

'Chill, Liss. I can handle this shit.' I really hope I do.

***

Now I am not so sure about defying him anymore. I mean, when I saw him snap yesterday I thought that he was going to kill someone or something close to that. Lissa is right. He might snap at me if I keep on pushing his buttons. He is always composed and in control of himself, and even though these days I was fooling around, he just clenched his jaw or looked weirdly at me in response, but as I just saw, things could go south pretty fast. Maybe I should just calm down a little and stop pulling little pranks on him for a while. I am kind of afraid of him right now. Yeah, this is the best approach. I will wait until things settle down.

I am even going to be the perfect employee for some time. Just a little, to see how things are going to work out.

The next day, I make his morning coffee and deliver it. I tell him his schedule for the day, careful not to drop a single flock of glitter into his office, and he dismisses me until he may need me.

Around noon, a woman comes in, walking like a magazine star on a podium, clicking her Louboutin high heels on the concrete floor of my office. She entered my little room not saying a word to me. But I greet her out of courtesy. It's not my fault she doesn't have good manners. But my mum didn't raise a disrespectful child. She inspects me head to toe and gives me a glance that signals me that I am too unimportant for her to even bother opening her mouth. Then keep it shut, b***h. I don't want to hear what you have to say either.

This woman is beautiful from a distance. She is tall, thin, with jet black short hair, styled after the latest trends and pale blue eyes contrasting with all that blackness. She looks like a model. She sure as hell is dressed like one, into that kind of clothes that are very weird when you look at them separately, but that somehow on her body they end up looking good. She has a lot of makeup on, I see as she comes closer. It is not that pleasant to look at it. And under all that makeup, she looks older than she pretends to be. At a closer look, I can say that she is over 35 years old and she is trying way too hard to look younger. And I think that I could feel her expensive perfume from the first floor. It is strong and way too sweet for my taste and it makes me sick to my stomach. Please go away fast whoever you are.

She is now making her way towards Belikov's office door. Um, no! You need permission, b***h! Or that man is going to cut my head off if I let you in without asking him first. And you are surely not worth the risk. When she reaches her hand to open the door I speak:

'Excuse me, Miss, but you cannot get in there without permission.'

She turns her head and looks at me like I have just killed her entire family. Like, how dare I stop her? Well, I could and I did!

'Do you have any idea who I am?'

No, I don't and I don't want to know, but I am sure that you are going to tell me anyway so why would I bother?

'No, Miss, I didn't have the pleasure.' I say as calmly as I can. I am so close to snap at her right now. What if I am just a secretary? Does this give her the right to treat me like s**t?

'Such a shame.' She rolls her eyes. 'I am Tasha.' she says expecting from me some kind of recognition.

Well, I am not going to praise her, whoever she is. But her name sounds familiar to me. Ah! He had dinner with her on Monday. Is this woman his girlfriend? Really? He is looking so damn hot and he is going out with a woman looking like this? So funny! From all women he could have, he chooses her? Is he blind or something? Well, now I may get to understand where that phrase with love is blind comes from. Pff, who am I kidding? If he would love her he wouldn't be walking around looking for other women.

'I am Rose.' I respond and extend my hand for her to shake. She seems so shocked. What, weren't we getting acquainted? She looks down on my hand and rolls her eyes again. I am not contagious, you know? She makes her way towards the door one more time. Didn't I make myself clear enough or what?

'I'm sorry, Miss, but no matter who you are, you will have to wait here until I go and ask Mister Belikov if he will see you.'

'Oh my God! You are so rude! I am Dimitri's girlfriend, little girl. I can go anywhere I want without having to askfor permission. Especially from you.'

'I'm sorry, but I am not going to let you get in before I speak with Mister Belikov.'

I am now doing this game just to piss her off even more. I couldn't care less if she enters his office or not in this second. The faster I get rid of her the better.

'Listen to me! I am going in and you cannot stop me!'

Then the door opens and he calls her name questioningly. She immediately tames herself and kisses him. Ew, gross. How can he kiss something like that? Isn't all that makeup sticking to his face?

'Dimitri, where did you find this little impertinent girl? She didn't want to let me get in. She wanted permission.' she says gesturing around. God, if someone around this building is going to call me little girl one more time I am going to claw their eyes out!

'Yes. I told her not to let anyone in without my permission.'

'Including me, baby?' she asks in a sugar-coated voice.

Bleah. Double ew. At her age, she is still speaking like that? She would better stop it before I puke on their expensive shoes.

'Maybe she didn't know who you are.' I didn't care who she is, there is a difference. 'Miss Hathaway, from now on, Tasha can enter my office without you having to ask me first.'

I wanted to roll my eyes in response, but instead, I smile and say: 'Of course, Sir.' Remember, be a good employee Rose. You don't want your neck snapped, right?

And with that, they go inside. I am now free to roll my eyes and puff in peace.

This Tasha woman is speaking and laughing just like a horny teenage girl. I know this because her voice is the only sound I heard for the past two hours. I just want to throw myself off the window. Or to stab myself into the ears. Can you do that? It doesn't matter, I am ready to try.

But my torture finally ends and she exits his office. I guess he finally kicked her out because he has an appointment in about twenty minutes. Before leaving, she bends over my desk and gives me a small girl to girl encouragement speech:

'Look at you, you look like a fetus. What are you, fifteen? And learn to dress, for God's sake! You are the secretary of one of the most important men in the world and you show at work wearing that?' yeah, I didn't give up on dressing like someone three times my age. 'This is unacceptable! You cannot destroy my man's image with your thrift shop clothes. He has to be seen near you at meetings and I won't allow you to embarrass him in public. And put some makeup on that face of yours! It has spots all over and you look like you have just woken up. And maybe from time to time, you should pass a comb through that bird's nest that you call your hair. You need to lift up your standards if you want to keep on working here. You don't live in Texas or any other county town you came from anymore. You live in the big city and you have an important job now. Act like it or I'll throw your ass from this chair just by snapping my fingers, understood?'

I just simply stare at her. I want to rip her hair out of her head. And to set it on fire, while she is watching it burn. I can barely keep myself together. But instead of reacting badly, I clench my jaw and tell her: 'Thank you for your advice Ma'am.' when I call her like that she leers at me. Hey, it's not my fault that you are so old. 'Have a nice day today.' I dismiss her and then I smile at her until she turns her back to me.

And to her own good, she just leaves with her podium walk.

After the doors of the elevator closed behind her, I went to the bathroom and cried a little. I won't lie. The things she told me got to me. But I got a hold of myself fast. Who the f**k does she think she is anyway?

When I got back, I was still having my eyes red. Belikov called me into his office, and when he saw me, he asked me what happened. Well, your f*****g slut just made me feel like s**t I wanted to say, but instead, I laughed and told him that I somehow managed to get some soap in my eye while I was washing my hands.

At about fifteen minutes after that b***h left, another woman comes around. And she is really pretty, in and out. At least she greets me and speaks nicely to me as she tells me that she has come to see Dimitri, not Mister Belikov. So I guess the two of them are familiar.

She is not as tall as Tasha but still has some centimeters in plus comparing to me. Her golden hair is falling in big waves on her shoulders and enframes a thin heart shaped face, with calm features. This woman reminds me of Lissa somehow. Except her eyes are brown. Her slender body is nicely dressed into a pair of tight jeans and a pink blouse with some big ruffles, that help her chest look bigger.

Not soon after she enters his office, the both of them get out and head to the elevator. As the doors are closing, I catch a glimpse of her turning around and practically throwing herself on him and they begin to kiss. Wow. He really lives up to his reputation. Two women in fifteen minutes. Nice. Well, at least she is a better choice compared to Tasha. If I think about it, everybody is a better choice compared to that woman.