Seeking Relief

Meeting with Psychiatrist

The meeting with Jade’s current therapists and hospital psychiatrist went off without a hitch. Jade was extremely nervous before the meeting. She joked with Eliza about asking for a pill for anxiety.

But it went smoothly. Both Liz and Sarah came, which was more than Jade had hoped for. But it helped things in Jade’s benefit since they’ve both seen her, and their notes coincided.

The psychiatrist did want Jade to attend some addict anonymous meetings. She didn’t think Jade was an addict or alcoholic, but her nonchalance treatment which led to her episode that had her in the ER, was cause for concern.

Jade agreed. She had plenty of time to think about why she was at the hospital and the events that led her to that night.

It also helped her to have all her pain validated when her injuries were discovered. Which led to her next request.

She wanted to see a pain management specialist or clinic and wanted to see what their suggestions were. All three women were thrilled with her request and got a list of recommendations.

Jade took their list, with plans to go over the list with Dr. Spencer and ‘her men’.

The meeting ended, they thanked the psychiatrist for her time, Jade walked with Liz and Sarah to the elevators. They walked with her to her room, then stayed and chatted with her for a bit before leaving. While Jade sat there in silence by herself, she realized she now was very rarely left to herself. She thought of ‘her men’ and smiled. They had been nicknamed ‘Jade’s Entourage’ by the nursing staff. The men were known by a lot of the nurses and others who worked there, it seemed that everyone was very happy that Jade had them for support.

Jade was happy to have them, too. She knew it was selfish, but she hoped that once she was discharged and sent home she was able to keep them. That they still wanted to come see her and spend time with her.

They haven’t really discussed plans or anything after she was out of the hospital.

She had their numbers and was in a group text with them. Usually the text message topic was teasing each other or discussing the latest of whatever medical obstacle Jade is going through.

When they texted Jade individually, it was always to see if she needed anything or to tell her they were on their way.

With that realization, Jade had a bit of a self-conscious panic. She didn’t want them to ghost her once she’s out of the hospital. She’s come to depend on them, look forward to their interactions, and rely on their attention.

She sat at her bed staring at her phone on her table.

She should call down and order her supper soon.

But she’s lost her appetite as a new fear overtook her.

The threat of even losing one of the guys from her group.

And she has no idea how to “play the game” to make sure they stay with her.

She knows she should wait and talk to them, be as honest with them as they have been with her. But the fear was barreling towards her full force and she couldn’t stop it. Tears filled her eyes and started to spill down her cheeks.

She was in that state wiping her cheeks and staring at her phone when Jake and Emmett walked in.

They took one look at her and immediately ran to her bedside. Emmett on one side and Jake on the other. They wrapped their arms around her and hugged her while her tears continued to spill.

“Are they making you go to the psyche ward?” Emmett asked.

Jade didn’t even think that’s what their first thought would be when they walked into her room following her meeting with the psychiatrist. She burst into more tears at her stupidity ans selfishness.

“I’ll call Adam.” Jake said.

“N-n-no. It’s okay. I’m just s-s-stupid.” Jade stammered out between sobs.

Emmett and Jake exchanged a look over her head while they waited for her to calm down. It didn’t take a whole lot of time for her to collect her composure. She took a few deep breaths and was able to converse through hiccups and a few wayward tears.

She looked up at their expectant faces. She gave them each a tight hug.

“The meeting with the psychiatrist went just fine. I do have to attend an addicts group meeting of sorts, which is fine, and I requested recommendations for a pain management clinics.” She paused and tried to leave it at that. Hoping she wouldn’t have to admit her silly immature selfish musings.

“So if that went well. Why were you crying?” Emmett asked.

“I, uh, I…” She glanced up at each of them and looked down her lap, “I’m scared once I leave the hospital one of you, or all of you will stop seeing me. That once I’m back home, I’ll be ghosted. And I’m so selfish, I can’t stand the thought of losing even one of you.” She looked up at them and held their gazes, “You guys have done so much for me. I’ve come to rely on you and your support.” What she didn’t say, was she was realizing that her feelings for them have turned from being warm and caring, to falling for them. She is falling for each one. And she doesn’t deserve to even one, let alone have all four, and it’s selfish to think she could have all four.

Jake made a soothing sound and kissed the top of her head.

“We won’t abandon you. I guess we should’ve told you about this. We have already discussed a rotation of sorts of staying with you, or having you stay with us after your discharged. We’ll do for you whatever you’re comfortable with. But no matter what during post-op you’ll have one of us with you at all times.”

Jade sniffed. “You mean you guys still want to see me after this?”

“Of course.”

“Yes!” Emmett and Jake said simultaneously and hugged her.

“Can we stay like this for awhile?” Jade asked.

Emmett and Jake chuckled, said of course and while they were sitting there hugging her was when Mitch walked in with Adam tailing.

“What’s going on?” Mitch asked, grabbing a chair, pulling it close to her bed and resting his hand on her shin. Adam walked up and squeezed her shoulder.

“Jade’s having a bit of abandonment fear when she leaves the hospital. She’s scared we’ll ghost her when she leaves the hospital.” Jake explained.

“Oh, f**k. I was scared they were making her go to the psyche ward.” Mitch said.

“We did, too.” Jake said.

Mitch continued, “I’m sure Jake and Emmett already told you, we’ve already agreed to visit you at home. We’re also already setting up a rough rotation for whose with you after your surgeries.”

Jade sniffled and smiled at the guys.

“Thank you. It’s selfish of me, I know, but I’m scared of losing even one of you. You all have come to mean something very special to me.”

Emmett squeezed Jade tightly around her waist, “You mean a lot to us, too.”

Their conversation turned to a lighter topic, but no one relinquished their hold on her.

Adam did his usual quick check on her chart.

She filled them in on how the meeting went with the psychiatrist and what is required of her.

Too soon, they all had to leave. As her supper was delivered, they all told her good night.

Jake kissed the top of her head as he usually does. Adam and Emmett gave her a good hug, Mitch squeezed and patted her shin goodbye.

Jade ate her supper contentedly alone with the tv on at low volume.

She brushed her teeth, showered, and settled back on her bed.

For the first night in many nights, she slept without a single nightmare.

Sadly, she won’t have a sleep like this for many more nights to come.