The Vampire’s Past

2. Jules

2

Jules

I’m almost counting down the minutes until we get a break. I’m in desperate need of coffee and I don’t want to fall asleep at my table.

As soon as the professor puts his marker down, I grab my bag and am out the door, to the coffee table in the hallway.

One advantage of being a part-time student and taking evening classes, we get real coffee, instead of having to get that crap from the machines. Not that the coffee that good, it’s just better.

I grab a cup and the thermos flask and start pouring.

I’m exhausted. I can pretend to be human all I want, but I really need blood from time to time and the recent fighting with my housemate/donor means that I haven’t had the chance and it’s really messing with my body. And when I’m not fighting with the guy, he’s drunk. And not drinking blood is still preferable to having to drink from someone who is s**t faced drunk.

It used to be so easy. Just pick up a guy, have some fun, s*x and then drink from them before I leave again. It’s been a long time since I’ve gone without for so long. Having a steady donor was supposed to mean that I’d be safer and that I wouldn’t have to worry about when I’d be able to drink.

But recently, it’s had the exact opposite effect. And not drinking for too long means I could become a danger to the humans around me... I haven’t had to deal with it before, but I don’t really look forward to testing that.

A hand comes into view and I almost drop the thermos flask. Luckily, the person grabs it before it can really fall.

Fuck. See, this is what happens when I don’t get to drink blood. I get sloppy...

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to spook you.” The man in front of me speaks, his low voice making shivers run down my spine, making my body come alive.

What the actual f**k? How do I get turned on just from his voice?

I blink, looking at the cup in my hand.

The guy is right though, it was about to flow over. If he hadn’t grabbed the flask, I would probably have poured the coffee right over my hand. And, while I don’t have to worry about burns from hot coffee, I don’t have the energy to fast-heal them right now. How could I be so stupid?

“Thanks.” I nod his way, not looking up at him, then I step to the side and go to the window, needing the space. I don’t want to do something stupid again.

From the corner of my eyes, I watch the guy pour himself some coffee too and then look around. And, with dread in my stomach, I see him come over to me. Why?

The guy flashes me a smile. “Hi. I’m Sean. I just moved back here. I think we may have run into each other at the registration office this afternoon?”

We may have. Now that he said it... Yeah, I may have bumped into him this afternoon, as I was trying to get back to work on time. “Sorry for almost running you over.” It’s the best thing to say, right?

Sean lets out a low laugh, my body taking an interest. “I don’t really care about that. What’s your name?” Why is this guy so interested in me?

“I’m Jules.” I shrug, trying not to focus on him too much. He’s sexy. All broad shoulders, tall and I think I can see muscles under his shirt. Exactly the type of guy who’d normally try to stay very far away from me. What’s his game?

“Nice to meet you, Jules.” Sean smiles at me again. “I’ll let you to your coffee. See you later.” And he walks off.

I watch him leave, going over to the homophobic asshole from class. Well, I guess that this was a once and never again conversation.

That homophobic asshole has been trying to make my life a living hell since the start of the year. It’s been nothing but one taunt after another, never letting up. And some of the rumours... Ugh.

Yeah. I thought that we left that stuff behind when we left high school, but this guy seems to enjoy badgering others way too much.

No matter how sexy Sean is, or how much I’d love to f**k him, if he’s friends with that guy... Yeah, no chance.

The rest of the evening passes without much happening. At least asshole Darren doesn’t bother me during class or after, so I guess that’s progress. But I don’t know how long that will last. And with the history Darren and I have...

Yeah... I don’t doubt that Sean-with-his-sexy-voice will join in on the taunting and badgering soon.

This sucks.

When I open the front door, the house is dark. I hold my breath, trying to listen if my housemate, Lance, is at home...

I almost miss it, but then I hear his breathing. I carefully close the door behind me and walk into the kitchen. I have no idea what his mood is like right now, but I don’t really feel like taking a chance.

As I walk into the kitchen, there is a small movement and I instinctively duck. I can still feel the air above me moving before something hard crashes into the door frame right where my head was. f**k.

Seriously, I’m too vulnerable when I don’t drink blood.

The light flashes on and Lance is glaring at me. “Who were you seeing? Why are you home so late?” I can smell the booze on his breath, even though he’s not even standing that close to me.

I stand up, blinking against the light for a moment. “I was at college. I had classes today. You know that.” I pick up my bag, hoping that my laptop didn’t break when I dropped it. I go over to the counter, trying to get my breathing under control.

I’m not sure if it’s the light or if I’m just in the wrong headspace, but the kitchen looks even more rundown than normal. The brown counters look filthy, all the white surfaces yellowed from Lance’s smoking. It makes me feel even worse.

“What a lie. Can’t you come up with something better?” I can hear Lance move behind me.

“I had classes. Check my schedule. Check the calendar.” I’m tired, exhausted, and don’t really want to argue with him.

Especially not since he just tried to f*****g crush my head with a baseball bat and I’m having a hard enough time processing what just happened. It’s not that a baseball bat would do that much damage to me, and I normally heal very fast, but I’m not functioning like normal and any threat on my life brings the vampiric instincts closer to the surface.

When I haven’t drunk blood in too long, triggering my vampiric instincts is bad…

Lance slumps down in a chair. “Why do you keep lying to me?”

I turn around to him, not sure how to answer him, as I’m not lying to him, I’m not doing anything wrong. He’s been like this for a couple of weeks now, and it’s only getting worse. I have no idea what triggered it.

Lance is normally such a level-headed guy, he’s always been amazing. But lately... Yeah... Not really. And him acting like a possessive boyfriend isn’t making it any better. We agreed early on that we’re not dating, we’re not boyfriends. We live together, we can have s*x, but we’re not boyfriends. I thought that was clear.

As I stare at him, I don’t know what to tell him.

“You’re keeping quiet now? You think that it gets better if you don’t answer me?” Lance stands back up again and I hold up my hands.

“I don’t think we want to do this.” Because I really don’t want to.

“Want to do what?” He comes closer, his eyes narrowing. “You haven’t had blood in weeks.” His voice turns dangerous. “I may not be a threat to you when you’re all high on blood, but you’re not doing too well. Right?” Is he enjoying this? “Mister epic-vampire is nothing more than a little bug right now.”

“I’m going to bed.” I push off the counter, my heart beating like crazy. He’s right. I’m weak right now. I don’t want to, but I am. I need blood, especially if I don’t want to get in trouble.

“Yeah. Run off. Run away and don’t face your disgusting lies and deceit. You’re just a parasite, living off me, never giving anything in return.” Why is Lance so angry? He knows this isn’t true, right?

He gets really bad after he’s drunk. Really bad.

I walk up the stairs and close the door to my bedroom, pushing at my set of drawers and making it move in front of the door. I don’t know why, but I feel safer this way. Then I lock the door from the inside.

I let myself fall on the bed and all my emotions come back at the same time.

Lance just tried to hurt me, real bad. And no matter my state right now, I’m still stronger than him, and he just taunted me. He taunted me to attack him. He wanted me to attack him, so that he could hurt me more.

I just can’t believe this. This is nothing like the Lance I used to know. Nothing like it.

I tighten my arms around myself and pull the covers high. I should go to sleep. Maybe I can get some fresh meat tomorrow, that should help some.

But right now, I don’t know if I need to find a new donor soon, or if I should go out and pick someone up at a club or something.

Fuck. f*****g f**k.

Ever since Lance attacked me on Monday, he’s been really quiet. He even let me drink from him in the morning on Tuesday.

I couldn’t take too much since he had a really bad hangover and I didn’t want the leftover alcohol in my system. There is nothing as bad as being second-hand drunk or having a second-hand hangover. Been there, done that. No fun.

But it was enough to get me through the rest of the week, it was enough to keep me going and not be a danger to myself or others. Luckily.

Because seeing Sean every night at college has made me very aware of how much I want the guy. He’s been coming up to me every day on our break, and he just talks a little, not even really insisting I respond to him, and at the end of the break he leaves again to be with asshole Darren. Who has at least stopped badgering me as much. That’s a plus.

It’s strange how safe Sean makes me feel, how easy he makes me feel. That’s not happened in a long time, and I don’t know how to deal with it, I have no idea how to deal with my feelings.

Especially since I’ve been waking up with wood every morning, dreaming of him, dreaming of touching him, dreaming of...

Fuck. I’ve really been out of dating and s*x and stuff for much too long. If anything, the reaction my body is having proves that. It proves that I need to get laid, soon.

But, yeah. That’s not really that easy...

I sigh, closing my eyes. It’s Friday evening, and instead of going somewhere to have fun, I’m in bed, because I’m exhausted and so done with the world right now.

I’m so done.

I wish I could leave this town already. I wish I could leave this place and not have to worry about getting beaten up, by friend or foe.

But for that, I need my degree. I need to finish this degree. I need to keep my head up high and make this happen.

One day at a time.