My New Love

My boyfriend broke up with me a few hours ago. I haven’t been able to stop crying. This the first time I’ve ever had to go through anything like this. The only thing that keeps running through my mind is...he never wants to see me again. What did I do to deserve this? I have never done anything to him, but I’ve let him get away with doing stuff to me. I always forgiving him; isn’t it my turn to be forgiven? Still, I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. He refuses to tell me. I know he’s hiding something, but I can’t figure out what.  “I need some time to think things over. I know you love me, Aubrey, and I love you too. I think it’s time that we go our separate ways for a little while,” Jonathan said. My heart started to rip into tiny pieces. “H-How much t-time do you think w-we need,” I asked while staring deep into his eyes. He walked towards me and wiped away one of my tears. My heart started fluttering in my chest a little bit when he touched me.  “I don’t know how much time we’ll need. Always keep in mind that I love you. We need a little bit of a break. We have been fighting way more than we should be. It’s causing the both of us unnecessary stress. We are way too young to have this kind of stress,” Jonathan responded. I tried to say something, but I couldn’t get the words out. I was letting everything he said sink into my mind and heart. After a couple of minutes I was able to think of something to say back to him. “I know we’ve been fighting a lately, but a lot of couples do. Don’t you think we should talk it over before we make such a drastic decision? I know deep down that we can work this out. We both have gone through far worse than this.”  “I don’t think so, sweetheart. We need to wait until everything cools down between us. I don’t want you to be overly stressed about all of this. I believe that our relationship will get stronger because of the break. Only time will tell,” Jonathan responded while shooting me a small smile. Jonathan kissed me on the cheek before walking back inside of his house. I wasn’t able to move for a few minutes. I felt numb as I was walking home. Tears started streaming down my face. I have locked myself in my room for the last couple of hours. I don’t want to be disturbed by anyone or anything. I want to be left alone with my thoughts for a little while. My parents can tell that I’m in no mood to talk to them or anyone for that matter. I’m happy that my parents respect my wishes. They have both left me alone so that I can think. I pull out my journal from its usual hiding spot. I start writing about how I’m feeling at this very moment. It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and fed to a hungry pack of wolves. My eyes are still filling with tears as I write everything I’m feeling down. I let the sadness, the anger, and the pain flow from me. Writing has been my release for a while now. My journal is my safe haven...it holds all of my secrets. My journal has been with me through a lot of the tough times. When I’m done writing in my journal I lie back on my bed, look up at the ceiling for a while, and start to drift to sleep. Crying has really worn me out. I close my eyes. I think to myself that everything will be better soon. Boy was I wrong.