My New Love

Chapter 15

Alex is still really upset while he’s lying in my arms. I don’t like seeing him this upset. He’s going to tell me everything he’s hiding. He says I’m the only one he can trust right now.

~

            I walked into my house two weeks ago. My father was the only one home. He had a beer in his hand and a scowl on his face when he saw me. Mom was out food shopping since we didn’t have much in the cabinets. She was cooking dinner that night. We eat out a lot since mom is busy a lot. She was making one of my favorite meals.

            “You’re late, boy,” my father said in a cold voice. He was drunk. There were several cans of beer sitting next to his chair. I could see the hate in his eyes. I shivered because of fear. I didn’t really know what was going to happen between us.

            “I’m sorry; I had to walk home from school. It’s not my fault mom went food shopping,” I responded with a little fear in my tone. I didn’t know what his reaction was going to be. He didn’t say anything for a long time. He just sat there in his chair like the lazy sack of bones he is. My father is a lazy person and was fired from his job. My mother was the one providing for the family. I even got a part time job to help support the family. I was hired a couple of weeks ago.

            My father left me alone when I went into my room to relax. I was listening to my iPod in my ears. My father was watching television. I was waiting for mom to get home so I could put the groceries away. My father came into my room and screamed at me to make something to eat. He had been sleeping all day so he hadn’t eaten anything. I got up and did what I was told to do. Even if I hated my father I still had respect for him. More respect than I should have for him.

            He didn’t thank me for making him lunch. He just ate and I muttered something under my breath. “What did you say, boy?”

            “I said I wish you would thank me for slaving away in the kitchen for you,” I responded. I was really upset that Dad couldn’t hang onto a job for more than a week. He didn’t do anything. We were the ones that had to suffer for it.

            “You shouldn’t talk, boy. You’re worthless to me. I never wanted a child, but your mother did. I gave her what she wanted. I never admitted to your mother that I didn’t want a child. I didn’t want to break her heart. I always just lied and told her I was happy we had you,” he responded in a cold voice. His eyes were filling with anger. I was also getting a little aggravated. How could my father say that to someone that cared about him? At that moment, I couldn’t stand being around him.

            “What have I ever done to you, dad? I gave you and mom all of the love that’s in my heart. I don’t want you to hate me. I want you to love me. You’re supposed to be my father. Maybe, if you weren’t so drunk all the time we could actually start to bond,” I told him with hurt in my tone.

            “I don’t want to have a bond with you. I don’t love you. I don’t even like you. Why would I want to bond with someone I absolutely hate,” he asked angrily, coldly, and emotionlessly all at the same time.

            I was hurt by what he just said to me. How could he say that to someone that to someone he brought into this world? “Why would you hate your own child? I should be just as important as Mom is. You helped raise me. Or did you just sit on your butt while Mom raised me?”

              “I just sat on my butt while your mother raised you. She would pick you up and hold you. You were always so happy while she was holding you. Half of the time I wanted to crush you into tiny pieces. You should go somewhere and die! You are no longer welcome in this household any longer,” my dad screamed at me.

            “W-What are y-you t-talking about d-dad?”

            “Don’t call me dad ever again, you i***t,” my dad said. Slap. He slapped me across the face pretty hard. I tried really hard not to cry. I didn’t want my dad to see how hurt I was. I grabbed a bag, my backpack, my school books, and clothes. I started to pack them up. I was going to respect my father’s wishes. I didn’t want to be somewhere I wasn’t wanted. I wasn’t going to try to fight back anymore. I don’t want to be anything like my father.

            I needed to find a new place to call my own. I went to the park and found a bench to sleep on. I was happy that I had money in my back account. I was able to get food. I took out twenty dollars. I knew that would feed me for at least a week or so. I decided to survive on fast food. I went to the local restaurants to order a burger or a slice of pizza. I mainly order the pizza since it only cost a little bit over a dollar.

~

“I am going to be running out of money this week. I was going to go to the bank, but I haven’t had time to go yet. I had to go to school. I didn’t have enough to buy lunch in school. I was just going to have to wait until after school to go to the bank,” Alex says.

            By the end of Alex’s story I’m crying. I can’t believe that his own father would say something like that to him. Why hasn’t his mother gone looking for him? I wonder if she has even noticed that his stuff has gone missing. I wonder what his father told his mother. Alex starts crying harder on my chest. I hold him close to me. He really does deserve love.

            “A-Aubrey, there has been something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he says when he calms down. I wipe his face off with a wet paper towel. He smiles a little bit. I can’t even imagine what he’s going through right now.

            “You can ask me anything you want, Alex,” I say and hug him tightly.

            “W-Will you go out with me,” he asks in a really shy voice.