F*ck It, It's The Apocalypse

I WOKE UP with a damn headrush. Not the kind you get from a long ass night of drinking, but the kind you get when you’re someone who never studies and tries to cram everything you were taught all year into your brain in just a few hours before finals. Yeah I’m also that dumbass. You think I’d stop doing this after high school, but no. I’m still a procrastinator who is going to flunk out of their first year of college. God I love making my parents proud.      I stretch my arms and twist my back to relieve my cramping body from the crappy couch I passed out on. The couch is a green checkered couch that was my grandmother’s. She literally hated the couch and she hated me so she made sure to put in her will that I get this damn thing. That bitter old lady even had the nerve to die on it before she gave it to me. That doesn’t stop my roommate Brexton from banging girls on it though.     “FUUUUUUCK!” I scream as my phone starts ringing on the floor. I reach my hand down and peak at the screen:     17 Missed Calls From Lying Bitch     “Oh hell no,” I say as I toss the phone aside. I hear what sounds like fifteen-thousand texts coming through and it starts to ring again. I roll my eyes and grab my phone. “What the hell do you want?”     “That’s not a very nice greeting,” she says. “I have been calling and texting you all day.” Her voice sounds annoyed, but she’s trying to hide it the best she can. “You do remember that the Psychology final is at 1pm, right?”     “I don’t need you reminding me, Ko,” I snap as I sit up, “I’m an adult too, remember?”     She sighs. “Listen, Chance, just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean I don’t care about---”      “Just leave me alone!” I snap as I hang up.     Kotoko Williams was my first and only girlfriend. Didn’t work out… Yeah we didn’t work out because I caught her with my brother. Yeah. Gross, right? At least I now have a legitimate reason to skip all the family events.      My stomach growls loud enough to startle me. I check my phone for the time: 12:14pm. f**k it, I think. I have time for a pizza. Imecker Hall is only a few minutes away from my dorm building, so I’m not worried about missing my final. My college of choice is Snowville State University, located right in the heart of Snowville, North Dakota. Snowville is a smaller city, with maybe a population of 25,000 people. I can tell myself that I picked this place for myself, but I know that’s a lie. I picked to be here so I could be close to Ko. What a f*****g i***t am I, right? I should’ve moved to a bigger city far away from here like my brother did. Clearly it didn’t keep him away from Ko. Next semester I am out of here to somewhere that’s completely foreign to me. I have no idea where yet, but I can’t stay here.     I dial Mia’s Pizza for what feels like the 30th time this week. “Double pepperoni pizza, Chance?” Mia asks immediately.     “You know it, Mimi,” I say as I stretch my arms.      Mia laughs. “I’ll have my new girl bring it over to ya,” she says and then she hangs up.     New girl, huh? I smirk at the thought. This past week the delivery guy was Kenny, a fat bastard who I’m certain ate one-third of my last order. When I asked him what the hell happened to it all the bastard had to say was, “Wasn’t me….”. I swear I saw a damn pepperoni stuck under one of his chins.      I check the time again and decide that I have enough time to take a quick nap before she gets here. There’s no way I have the energy to study anymore, and if I do nothing then I’m left alone with the thoughts of Ko with my brother. Some people go to therapy, I eat an obnoxious amount of pizza and sleep all day like a damn sloth. I’m a complete wreck, but I don’t want to deal with that right now so I settle back down into this cursed couch and drift back to sleep….     I wake up to the loudest pounding on my damn door. My bad, pizza girl, I thought and I sprung up to answer the door. “Sorry, I fell asleep---” I say as I turn the knob. “WHAT THE f**k!”     What I see next sickens my stomach to its core. The pizza girl is wearing her red and white uniform and her hat is still perfectly placed, but she’s soaked in blood. The heavy flow is coming from, I assume, the gaping hole in her neck. It looks like some kind of animal just straight up bit a chunk out of her. Her face is unscathed, though she is becoming very pale. Her eyes seem dark as she spaces out looking at the door frame.     “H-hey are you okay?” I asked. Obviously she’s f*****g not but I thought I should ask.     She continues to stare into the blank space. She blinks her eyes slowly and then she looks at me. Her eyes are even darker and dark circles start to appear around her eyes. “He bit me….” she whispers.     “Huh?” I say in shock. Either she was attacked or this b***h is into some kinky s**t. “Do you want me to call an ambulance or drive you to a hospital?”     She sighs slightly and starts to stare blankly again. “N-no,” she says quietly, “I’m starting to feel better actually.”     She suddenly reaches for me and clutches the front of my shirt. I put up my hands defensively and hold her away from me by her forehead and right shoulder. Her eyes are completely black and bloodshot. She snaps at my face like some rabid animal. She shrieks a terrible scream as I push her off of me. She stumbles back and falls down the stairs. I retreat back into my dorm and slam the door shut and lock it.      “What in the actual f**k just happened?!” I ask myself as adrenaline pulses through my entire body. I take several deep breaths and rush to my phone. I intended to dial 911 but the message that pops up stops me.      WARNING: Rabies has been reported in your area. Stay inside and lock doors and windows until further notice.     What the hell kind of rabies was that? There is no way that girl had rabies. Maybe she was a druggie on a bad trip or something. I unlock my phone and go to dial 911 again so the police can carry this crackhead out of my building. I put the phone to my ear as I listening to the ringing and finally I get an answer:     “I’m sorry, there are no available operators at this time. Please try again later. Good-bye.”     “Oh f**k you, Siri!” I yell as I toss my phone to the side.      I walk over to my windows and peer outside to see if anything is happening on campus. At first I see nothing but some dumbass squirrels fighting on the street, but then a car speeds across the road, through the grass, and rushes past the campus gazebo leaving black skid marks on the street and grass. What the hell is happening today? I see that the asshole ran over the two squirrels and absolutely splattered them several yards. I am about to turn away from the window when I see a group of people in the corner of my eye. There are about four people walking strangely onto the road into the direction the car was heading. I think they are guys, but I’m for sure certain they are doped out of their minds. Their legs appear to be dragging with each step and their backs are hunched over like they are about to faceplant any second. They stumble past the squirrel carcasses but suddenly stop. They turn back and pick up pieces of splattered squirrel and begin to eat it.     “OH WHAT THE f**k!” I yell as I watch in horror.      They start to fight over the squirrel chunks. One pushes the other to the ground and another attacks it. They bite and claw at each other until the attacker bites into the guy’s neck so hard he’s practically decapitated. Despite the large amount of bile building in my throat and the swirling in my stomach, I can’t look away. The guy keeps moving and trying to attack even though his neck is clearly broken. The attacker gets up and kicks the guy back down and stomps his head in until his brains are sloshed all over the road. The other two guys don’t even care about the horrendous murder that just happened because they are two busy eating squirrel guts. The attacker turns back when his victim stops moving and stares directly into my eyes.     I feel my stomach drop to my balls as he continues to stare at me. A strong wave of terror and anxiety hit me like a tidal wave and I have to steady myself against the window. I swear my heart has never pounded harder in my life. He doesn’t stop staring, his eyes are blank just like the delivery girl’s but somehow he senses my presence.      I rush backwards back to my phone and dial 911 again. It rings five times and begins the message I’m sorry. There are no--- I hang up. I dial the only other number I could think of to call right now.     “Hello?” my mom answers.     “Mom! Are you okay? The world has gone f*****g insane today!” I panicked.     “Oh I’m just fine, baby!” Mom says with reassurance. I feel relief flood through me. “Did you get the warning on your phone? What a weird thing, huh?” she asks.     I take a deep breath. “Did you lock your door and windows?” I ask urgently.     My mom giggles. “Baby, please, I’m not worried about rabies. It’s not that serious of a thing.”     I feel the terror rise in me again. “No! Mom, listen, you need to go lock your doors and windows right now!” I say.     “Rabies is not---”      “It’s not f*****g rabies, Mom!” I scream. “I was just attacked by the pizza girl, saw a group of guys eat a squirrel, watched some guy get murdered, and now the f*****g murderer is staring at me through my window!”     Mom is silent for a little while. “Okay dear,” she says quietly, “I’ll go lock my doors. Why don’t you go lie down? Have you taken anything?”     “I’m not on drugs!”      “Well you know I wouldn’t judge you---” she begins to say.     “MOM!” I hear a door slam in the background. “What’s that?” I ask seriously.     Mom gives a little laugh. “Oh, I’m sure it’s just your father---”     I begin to tremble. “Mom, go lock yourself in a room right now.”     “What, no!” she says. I hear her take a few steps and she sighs. “See it’s just your father, Chance.”     For some reason I still feel the sickening terror. “Mom, is Dad okay---” I begin to ask.     “Oh god, Ivan, what happened to you!?” she cries.      “Mom, get away from him!” I scream.     “No, he needs help!” she snaps at me. “Ivan, what happened?” she says gently. I don’t hear a response. There is silence for a total of ten seconds. Then it feels like my heart stops momentarily. “Oh my--- Ivan! Ivan! What are you doing?!” I hear her scream as it sounds like the phone hits the ground.     “MOM! Mom?!” I scream. No response.     I keep listening to the line and it feels like time has stopped. My knees ache from falling to the ground. I can feel tears brim my eyes and run down my face as I hear the worst sounds I have ever heard in my life. I finally hang up the phone when I start to hear crunching. My mom’s fate is obviously sealed, and so is my dad’s. My eyes burn from the tears and the continuous staring at the blank screen. I choke back a sob and take a deep breath. My phone suddenly starts to ring, snapping me out of my despair. I answer it without even looking at the caller ID.     “Mom?” I whisper, with hope in my voice.     I hear quick breathing on the other end. “Chance, Chance, you have to help me!” she says in an urgent whisper.     “Ko?” I ask.      “Yes! Yes! It’s me!” she says, “Listen, I know I’m the last person you would ever help right now, but I’m begging you, Chance! There’s people trying to kill me!”     I hold my breath as I realize what she’s talking about. The chaos that has happened to me so far isn’t just happening to me, but probably all over the world. This isn’t rabies, but something that mankind has never dealt with before. God, is this the f*****g apocalypse?      To be honest, part of me wants to hang up on Ko. Part of me is thinking that’s what you get, b***h… But I know there is still a part of me that still loves her, and I can’t lose anyone else I love. “Where are you?” I ask.      “I’m locked in a closet in the psych room… room 304,” she whispers, “Chance, I tried calling 911, my parents, and Lukas but none of them answered….”     Lukas. My older brother that Ko cheated on me with. The brother that I told that I hope he dies in a ditch. Part of me still wants him dead, but like Ko, there’s a part of me that still loves him. And he’s also probably the only family I have left on Earth.     “I’ll try calling him,” I say, “Do not come out until I get you. Do you understand?”     Ko lets out a sob. “Yes, I understand. Thank you, Chance…”     “Yeah, uh no problem…” I say awkwardly. I hate it when people say thank you. “See you soon.” And I hang up.     I take a deep breath and bite my lip as I think about calling my brother. I haven’t spoken to him in about a month when the whole Ko incident happened. I’m fairly certain I blocked his number actually. What the hell am I going to say to him? ‘Hey, asshole, how was kissing my girlfriend? Hey, brother, thought you should know that Dad literally just ate Mom?’ Ah, f**k it! I think as I unblock his number and press call. The whole phone conversation with my mom plays in my head as I anxiously wait for him to pick up. One ring… two rings… three rings… four rings… five rings…..     “Hey you’ve reached Lukas! I’m not able to answer my phone right now, but leave me a message at the beep! And if this is Chance… I’m really sorry man.”     I hang up the phone. He’s probably dead. I fill tears brim my eyes again, but I shake my head and hold them back. I’m really sorry man…. God, that’s what he said to me when I caught him with Ko. Anger builds within me, but I push it down. Ko needs me. I get off the floor and run into my room. I grab my duffle bag out of my closet and throw some random clothes into it. I open my mini fridge and grab a few bottles of water and a tub of instant potatoes I made like a week ago.  Fuck it, it’s the apocalypse.      I look around the room for some sort of weapon to use against those nasty cannibals. Unfortunately, I’m an i***t who thought that the apocalypse would never happen. But luckily, my roommate is a paranoid motherfucker. I reach under Brexton’s bed and pull out his metal baseball bat. I cringe as I pull off a used condom from the side of it.     “I thought you had the supreme pullout game, buddy.” I say as I toss the condom onto his bed. Thoughts of Brexton probably being dead begin to haunt my conscience. I think about calling him, but my mind goes back to Kotoko.      One problem at a time, I think and I head out of the room. I put on my best running shoes and walk to the front door. As I grab my car keys off the hook, I unlock the door and reach for the knob, and I hesitate. I think back to the horrendous sight of Pizza Girl attempting to bite my face off. The terrible screams she screamed and the awful sounds she made as she fell down the stairs. But then I think of Ko trapped in a closet absolutely petrified and that gives me the strength and determination I need. I take a deep breath, stuff my car keys into my back pocket, and swing open the door. The coast is clear so I walk out of my dorm room and head right into what would be my certain death.