My Lycan Demigod

PROLOGUE Once upon a time, I woke up, lying on a bed, in the infirmary, and the room smelled of herbs and concoctions. I was surrounded by several men dressed up based on their titles, and they all stared at my face. I couldn't speak. I had no memories of myself. It was as though I was reborn— … “Master, he's awake!” I heard the voice of one of the men who had been staring at my pale face lying weakly on the bed. I tried to move my fingers, only to notice that I was bandaged. “You all, shift.” came another masculine voice, and the rest left the bed, leaving me with the not-too-old master whose gaze was filled with shock. He touched my face, pressed the back of his palm on my neck, and then on my chest. Then he turned backwards, “Call the physician. He's truly awake.” He? I was a he? How come I wasn't feeling a dìck in me? He smiled so widely at me, yet his eyes bore some liquid which showed he had been sobbing. But, who was I to him? Who were they to me? How was I a ‘he’ to them when I didn't have a dìck? The sound of the door made the man flinch, and he turned to the physician who hurried beside me. While the physician began taking my vital signs, the elderly master uttered, his voice so mild and pitiful, “I didn't know he would survive. He was amid life and death while we brought him here.” Nothing was adding up. What happened to me? After the physician was done, he turned to the elderly master with broad smiles plastered all over his face, “He is sound, and this is so strange for a human. Anyways, what matters is that he is well again and would just stay a few days to recuperate fully.” He said some more things to the master and then left, then the master and the previous men surrounded me again. My body hair stood. I was freaking out but hid it so well. Who the heck were they and what has been our relationship? “What is your name?” came the voice of the master. I stared at his face, unsure what to say, I shook my head, “I don't have a name. I don't know my name.” which was the truth. Who was I? Where did I come from? How did I end up amid life and death? All those questions were like pouring water on a rock, because I had no single memory of who I was. Yet the men before me thought I was joking. “Every person on earth has a name. You should have one. What were you doing in the woods that almost took your life? Who is your family?” I felt so devastated, just gazing at their faces one after the other. But nothing was shocking to me than the fact that they thought I was a male whereas I was a female…. And you know what? I was dressed like a male, covered in blood, but I had no dìck. CHAPTER 1 FIVE YEARS LATER HANSEL… “My Lord, he is more like an adopted son to me. His name is Hansel, and he is the chief of this manor.” Merchant Halvard kept talking, and that was so irritating to me. I hated that he was about to hand me over to the lycans as if I were a commodity, and no matter the signals I gave him, he ignored them. “If I didn't trust him to do a good job for his Supreme Highness as his Eunuch, I wouldn't have agreed to the deal. He will play his role so perfectly and you will come back to appreciate me for handing him over to you.” My chest clenched in anger. The rage fuming in me could turn the entire household upside-down. There were so many men working under me, the chief. If I was so important to him, why would he want to hand me over just like that to the lycans to be the lycan Prince's eunuch? I accept that the role pays so well. My salary could be three times what he pays me, but my sanity should also be prioritised. We all know how dangerous the lycan prince is. Rumor has it that he kills with his divine power; he is no longer a demigod, but a demon. So how was a human like me supposed to survive while serving him? Won't I end up dead in his hands one day? And…how am I supposed to hide my gender in that palace that is filled with lycans and with a prince who has divine powers? If they find out I was a female, disguised as a male, I wouldn't live to see the next hour. Gods! I didn't even know how to end everything. I couldn't come up with a reason that would change the mind of my master. There were so many merchants out there that the lycans can go for, why must it be this manor? “Of course, you know what it means to deceive the lycan prince. I will leave with him when the sun sets, so he should hand over all his tasks to his second in command.” the man who had been negotiating with my master said, giving me side glances. I stood firm, still my palms got sweaty. For five years, I had lived my life in this manor as a male, whereas I was a female. I still couldn't recall any bit of my past, at least to know why I was dressed as a male when my master found me half dead in the woods. The only thing I did was to maintain the gender they thought I was, because spilling the truth wouldn't end well. All these years, I had lived in nightmares and fear, always haunted by a particular face, demonic, covered in blood and his hair shattered all over his face, making it impossible to see what he looks like clearly. He comes for me all night, pestering me, trying to take my life or claim me—I just don't know. He had not once spoken to me in the dream. It was just him, pointing his blood-dripping sword at me with his eyes burning like a furnace. I lived in fear of this man taking my life one day, or maybe my gender coming into light and I would lose my life for deceiving everyone. And now I was going to be some eunuch for the prince? A hot breath left my lips. I dug my fingers into my palms, heart palpitating while waiting for this lycan to excuse us so I could try to speak to my master. Rather, he turned to me so suddenly, as if recalling something. He walked away from my master straight to me, his eyes pinned against mine. I didn't understand what he was up to by his continuous sniffing, but I knew that something wasn't right. Then he turned back to my master, “Are you sure he is a human?” My master's eyes bulged like they would fall out of their sockets. “He is a human, and has worked for me for five years.” “Isn't he too beautiful for a man?” the man added again, this time, he pulled a straight face. I held my shoulders high, because I knew losing guard would mean that I had something up my sleeve. My master broke into laughter. They had always complimented me for being as beautiful as a woman and I joined them to be proud of my beauty. His daughter, sometime in the past, had tried to make me fall for her but I did well to stay away from her. If only she knew I was her fellow woman… “My Lord, Hansel is the most beautiful man in this human land. Even our king doesn't joke with her. He isn't just beautiful, but also hardworking.” my master elaborated, which was true. I had trained in archery and swordsmanship after he took me in. He had given me the name, Hansel, because he had made the name available for his deceased son who died immediately after delivery with his wife. So he was left with just his daughter, Osha. The lycan Lord took in a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders, “Show me where to stay and wait behind until sunset.” “At your service, my Lord. Please follow me.” And as the two vanished from my sight, I headed back to my room. The first thing I did was to wash my face and my sweaty hands, then I got seated, recollecting everything they discussed there. “Master is being selfish. He's definitely selling me out but doesn't want me to know why.” I muttered and dug my fingers into my hair. “How am I going to stop this? If I ever refuse, they could take my life instantly. The lycans I know are brutal, despite being on good terms with the humans.” Nothing bothered me more than being an eunuch when I'm a female. Sometime in the past, I had once followed my second in command, Izra, to the palace. On our way back, I watched him relieve his bladder before me. Heaven knows I had imagined him mounting and inserting his shaft into me several times. I had admired my feminine body as many times as I could, but it all felt useless to me. No feelings for a man…no urge to get what women get from men. All I wanted was to live my life peacefully. But Izra’s shaft was something else that I had once planned to escape from merchant Halvard's manor to a place that wasn't known. There, I would live my life as a female and be treated as one. I'd know how it felt to be touched by a man and then carry my child. And in the end, I still comfort myself that the gods made it this way—for me to live as a male and play certain roles. Yet, being an eunuch in the lycan clan wasn't one of them… A knock came on the door and I stood and let my master in. He took a seat and crossed his legs, while I listened, waiting for him to explain why he sold me out that way. “Before I say anything, bear in mind that his Supreme Highness does men, too.” The ring I had pulled out of my finger dropped to the floor. I was hearing things. Master can't be serious. My eyes grew large in shock, lips hung open. It was as if air was taken out of my lungs. “I heard that he penetrates men he picks up interest in.” Gods! Gods! This man should better be joking. I couldn't feel myself again.