GHOST LOVER

The Stranger in the House and Rational Chaos

Less than half an hour had passed since Gönül Hanım’s panicked phone call when the doorbell began ringing with that heavy, authoritative rhythm. Selin was still sitting in the middle of the living room, surrounded by vinegar-water stains on the floor and the heavy scent of Ceyda’s betrayal. Her gaze was locked on Murat, standing motionless in the corner of the room like a statue.

“The doctor’s here, Selin,” Murat said, his voice no longer mocking but laden with deep concern. “There’s no escape. Your mother thinks you’ve lost it. If you mention seeing me here one more time, you’ll be wearing a white gown when you leave through that door.”

Selin didn’t respond. She just smiled. It was that executioner’s smile that made Murat’s insides crawl. Gönül Hanım opened the door; Dr. Levent entered with his black bag and serious overcoat. Each of the man’s steps was like rationalism entering this “haunted” house.

“Welcome, doctor, please come in,” Gönül Hanım said, her voice trembling. “My daughter… She just attacked her friend. She’s talking about things that aren’t there. She says Murat is here, that she talks to him.”

When Dr. Levent entered the living room, his professional gaze swept over Selin. She straightened up in her chair as if she were the most normal person in the world. “Welcome again, Dr. Levent,” Selin said, her voice surprisingly clear. “My mother tends to be a bit anxious, as you know. My friend and I just had a small argument. Old secrets, you know… women’s issues.”

Dr. Levent sat in the single chair directly across from Selin. He placed his bag beside him and adjusted his glasses. “Ms. Selin, the state of your home… and this smell… are somewhat unusual, you must admit,” the doctor said, looking at the broken vase pieces and puddles of vinegar water on the floor.

Murat appeared right behind the doctor. Selin’s eyes involuntarily drifted there, but she immediately composed herself and focused on the doctor’s eyes. “I was cleaning, doctor. I’d heard that vinegar and salt are good for getting rid of certain memories. You could call it spiritual cleansing.”

Dr. Levent leaned forward slightly. “What about Murat? Your mother says you claim he’s here. You apparently told Ms. Ceyda that Murat was standing here saying bad things about her. Could this be a ‘projection’ rather than just a hallucination?”

Selin paused for a moment. From behind, Murat was shouting, “Don’t do it, Selin, don’t tell him!”

Selin slowly stood up. She began walking around the room with heavy steps. “Dr. Levent,” Selin said, stopping just one step away from where Murat stood. “You’re a rational man. You believe everything has logic. But tell me, if a person is still beating in your heart despite being dead, is that logical? Or what about a traitor who, despite being deceased, still breathes the same air as you?”

Dr. Levent pulled out his notebook. “What you’re feeling is intense anger brought on by grief, Ms. Selin. Learning that Murat betrayed you has shattered his image in your mind. Now you’re projecting that image outward, into empty space. By thinking you see him there, you’re actually confronting the rage within yourself.”

Selin looked at Murat behind the doctor. Murat was trying to insist, “See, the man’s a professor, he knows his stuff. I’m in your mind, Selin, I don’t exist!”

Selin suddenly burst out laughing. “Is that so, Dr. Levent? Well, can hallucinations knock things over?” Selin pushed the glass in her hand toward the edge of the table. Just as it was about to fall, Murat reflexively reached out his hand—of course he couldn’t catch it, but Selin’s move caught Dr. Levent’s full attention.

“Ms. Selin, please sit down,” Dr. Levent said, his voice hardening. “You’re experiencing a serious crisis right now. Murat is not here. He’s in the ground. What’s talking to you is your own guilty conscience or anger.”

“You think he’s not here?” Selin said, her voice now dropping to a whisper. “Then why does that curtain edge move when my mother turns her back? Why does the room temperature suddenly drop five degrees?”

Dr. Levent stood up. “Ms. Selin, I’m going to be direct with you. You need help. Professional, intensive help. What you’re experiencing goes beyond normal grief. I’m going to recommend—”

“What? That I be committed? Medicated into oblivion? Trained to deny what I know is real?”

“I’m going to recommend treatment that will help you accept reality.”

“This IS my reality!” Selin’s voice rose. “Just because you can’t see him doesn’t mean he’s not here!”

Gönül Hanım, who’d been standing in the doorway, began to cry. “Selin, please. Listen to the doctor. We’re trying to help you.”

But Selin wasn’t listening. She was looking at Murat, who stood behind Dr. Levent with an expression she’d never seen before—fear. Not for himself, but for her.

“Tell him I’m not here,” Murat said quietly. “Selin, please. For your own sake.”

And in that moment, Selin made a choice. Not the truthful one. But the strategic one.

“You’re right,” she said to Dr. Levent, her voice suddenly calm. “I know he’s not really here. I know I’m projecting. But it’s so hard to let go. He betrayed me, he left me, and I’m so angry I can barely breathe.”

Dr. Levent’s expression softened. “That’s a good first step, acknowledging it.”

“I’ll take the medication. I’ll do the therapy. Whatever it takes to make this stop.”

Later, after the doctor had left with promises of appointments and prescriptions, after her mother had finally gone home reassured, Selin sat alone in the apartment.

“That was smart,” Murat said.

“That was survival,” Selin corrected. “They were going to take me away.”

“I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”

“Yes. It is.” She looked at where she felt him. “But we’re past blame now. We’re in survival mode. And if that means lying to everyone including doctors, then that’s what we do.”

“For how long?”

“As long as it takes.”