ALLERGIC TO LOVE - A ROSE FOR DUKE

The sky was gray and heavy on the day they buried Marissa Ford. It felt like the whole world was sad. The wind was cold, and even the trees seemed to shiver. People stood around the grave, speaking quietly, giving the family sad smiles and soft hugs. Marlon stood in front, staring at the casket without moving. Everything around him felt far away like he was underwater. He kept remembering the first time he met her. It was in business school. She was smart, sharper than anyone he had ever known. Always first in class. Confident. Focused. Competitive. And she had a laugh that stuck with him long after she walked away. He fell for her before he even understood what was happening. They married after college, both full of plans and dreams. Two years later, they started having children. Their life together wasn’t perfect, but it was full. Alive. Strong. He truly believed he would grow old with her. But ten years went by like ten minutes. And now she was gone. Marissa died three years after their youngest child was born. Complications after childbirth. Doctors tried, but nothing worked. Sometimes Marlon still heard the machines beeping in that hospital room. He remembered holding her hand and praying, begging for her to stay. But she didn’t make it. He remembered her ambition, the way she had poured herself into everything she touched. How she had fought for her dreams, their dreams. How she had been brilliant, untouchable, untamed… and gone. Three children left in a house that felt emptier than ever. Three hearts plus his that would never again know the comfort of her touch. Carlton stood beside him, holding his father’s hand with both of his small ones. He was only eight, but he already felt like he needed to be stronger than his age. He watched his dad carefully, trying to understand him, trying to help him—trying to be what he thought his father needed. Millicent, six, held a bunch of daisies. Her eyes were red, and she kept rubbing her nose. She didn’t fully understand death, but she understood that her mom wasn’t coming home again. She kept sniffing, fighting tears, trying to be brave but failing every few minutes. Destiny, just three, didn’t understand anything at all. He clung to Carlton’s sleeve, confused by the crying and sad faces. He knew something was wrong. He knew his mommy wasn’t there. But he didn’t know why. The priest began speaking. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…” Marlon felt the syllables slice through him. Not because he feared the words themselves, but because they marked the finality of a life he wasn’t ready to let go of. The words cut deep. Final. Cold. Marlon felt every syllable like a weight. He knelt down beside the grave and touched the edge of the freshly dug soil. Memories flashed through his mind Marissa laughing, cooking, studying late into the night, dancing with the kids, teasing him, holding their babies. Ten years of marriage, two years of children, three years of struggle… it wasn’t enough. Never enough. He felt the guilt, too—had he loved her enough? Had he spent enough time with her before she was gone? The questions echoed in his mind, unanswered. As he watched the grave fill, a memory he hadn’t thought about in years rushed back to him, his own mother’s funeral. He had been eight years old. Same age as Carlton now. Same cold wind. Same gray sky. Same heavy feeling in his small chest. He remembered standing in front of a different grave, holding onto his father’s hand just like Carlton held onto his now. He remembered the whispers, the sad looks, the way people kept touching his shoulder like they didn’t know what else to do. His mother had died after fighting womb cancer for a long time. He didn’t fully understand the sickness then but he understood the loss. He understood the silence in the house afterward. The way his father grew distant, working late, coming home tired, barely looking at him. Little Marlon had waited and waited for things to get better, but they didn’t. And standing here today, hearing the dirt fall on Marissa’s casket, he felt that same childhood ache open up again. He looked down at Carlton and felt a sharp fear: I don’t want his life to turn out like mine. He didn’t want his children to feel alone like he did back then. He didn’t want to repeat the cycle. He didn’t want to become the kind of father his own dad had been absent, quiet, unreachable. But grief had a way of pulling people into themselves. He felt it already. That coldness. That shutting down. That numbness. He squeezed Carlton’s hand a little tighter, as if holding on to him could stop the past from repeating. “I’m here,” he whispered to himself more than to his son. “I won’t disappear… I won’t.” But even as he said it, he wasn’t sure. Grief was already wrapping around him like a heavy blanket. And deep down, he feared he might fail his children the same way his father failed him. He felt something break inside him. Carlton tugged his hand gently. “Daddy… is she coming back?” Marlon swallowed hard. His heart felt like it was being squeezed. He bent down so he was eye level with his son. “No, Carl. She’s not coming back.” Carlton blinked quickly, trying not to cry. He squeezed Marlon’s hand tighter. Millicent hid behind Carlton, tears running down her cheeks. Destiny looked up at them, scared and confused. “Mama sleeping?” Destiny asked. Carlton wiped his face and shook his head. “No, Des… Mama’s gone.” Destiny looked down, fiddling with his little fingers. “Because of me?” he whispered. Marlon’s heart nearly stopped. He grabbed the boy quickly, holding him tight. “No, son. Never because of you.” The ceremony dragged on. People walked up to Marlon, offering hugs and sympathy. He barely felt any of it. His mind wasn’t with them it was with her. With the years they shared. With the years they would never have. He couldn’t stop thinking, Did I love her enough? Was I there enough? Did she know how much she meant to me? Guilt sat heavy on him. And in that moment, something in him closed off. Like a door shutting. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to be touched. He didn’t want to feel anything. The world around him faded. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Desiree standing alone. She was staring at him—not at the casket, not at the children, but at him. There was something strange in her eyes. Too intense. Too focused. Too… familiar. When people were done placing flowers on the casket, Desiree walked up last. She placed a single white lily on the wood and kept her hand there longer than anyone else. Much longer. Long enough for Carlton to notice. “Daddy,” Carlton whispered, tugging his sleeve. “Why is Aunt Desi smiling?” Marlon looked up quickly. But when he turned, Desiree’s face was blank. If she had smiled, it was gone. The last handfuls of soil were tossed into the grave. The thud of dirt hitting the casket made Marlon flinch inside. He watched the grave fill, watched the last piece of her disappear from sight. Carlton moved closer to him. Millicent wiped her tears again. Destiny held onto Carlton’s leg. Marlon straightened his shoulders. He didn’t feel strong, but he knew he had to act like he was. The children had no one else. The house would be empty now. The laughter would be gone. The warmth she brought… gone forever. The funeral ended. People began to leave. Marlon looked at the grave one last time. At the flowers. At the fresh dirt. At the life he lost. He breathed in deeply as the wind blew gently across the cemetery, carrying the faint scent of lilies—Marissa’s favorite. I’ll take care of them, he whispered in his heart. I’ll protect them. I’ll try. He just lost a part of him and yet, life demanded they move forward. The children needed him. The house needed him. Everything they had built together now rested on him alone. Carlton looked up at him again, eyes wide. Millicent peeked from behind his arm. Destiny’s tiny hand tugged insistently. Marlon’s chest ached, but he squared his shoulders. The funeral was over. But the real work the struggle, the pain, the living was only beginning. Then he turned and walked away with his children. As they walked away from the grave, the wind shifted, carrying with it the faint scent of lilies. Marlon inhaled deeply, as if trying to draw strength from her memory. The world felt heavier, darker, lonelier. And he knew, deep down, that nothing not time, not money, not ambition could ever replace her. But life would not pause. Not for grief. Not for sorrow. And he, along with Carlton, Millicent, and Destiny, would have to learn to carry on. Somehow. And somewhere, deep in his heart, Marlon made a silent promise: to honor her memory. To protect his children. To survive the years ahead, no matter how cruel they might be. Because the world didn’t wait for the broken. He didn’t notice Desiree watching him from behind. He didn’t see the look in her eyes. He didn’t know that losing Marissa wasn’t the only hardship waiting for him. Not yet. For now, all he knew was that life had changed. And nothing absolutely nothing would ever be the same again.