Paper Click

Fear meets Truth

"what do you want now?"

I asked with a serious face, indeed I was serious this time! I was angry!

"one forth please???"

his face is begging, it makes me confused again, how can I get the paper he is asking when he is holding my hands tight?

"what for? look! class is finished, already done for today in fact you didn’t talk to me the whole day and now you’re asking for a paper???"

I was trying to understand him but...

"I'm asking for one forth of your heart"

I don't know if he is serious but he was staring at me like I'm glued in his sight and I can't get away this time

"are you crazy? you're messing around again, stop it! I'm not gonna believe you!"

I shifted my eyes away from his as I almost wanted to cry already

"com'on T! I know we were on the same page, we're just fighting in different direction to save this friendship"

oh god! I can never forget how serious he was saying those words as if it was truly straight from his heart, of course I didn't want to believe that right away but my heart was begging my mind to give in just this once

"look! Im tired, let's go home" how can I ever explain that if things go wrong in our relationship, I might lose him and that was my greatest fear, that's the truth B!I wish I can tell you what's on my mind so you'd understand

"we can't! unless you'll gonna give me my other half"

"I want your heart! I tried ignoring you the whole day even tried to stay as your friend these past few days but now has been so hard, I can’t stay like this any longer, I need you in my life like hmmm permanently"

he continued, I don't know how to respond as all those chills I've felt days we've been together has already tripled, my voice are stuck somewhere else I can't even find it so he continued

"not just one forth of you but all of you, let's face the truth T! we liked it each other even before, we just lied to ourselves because we're so afraid to lose our friendship, do you know the time when you told me that you're transferring to another section, I was totally changed! I felt the greatest fear I have ever had my whole life, I thought losing our friendship is already fearsome but there is more I am way afraid of, that's losing you T! I can't live without you not because you're my best friend but because you're special to me, I like you and this much is even considered love to me, I don't know with you"

"hey T! are you still with me???why aren't you answering"

he notice me staring at him so blankly

"I’m counting of all the papers you owe me, it could be a thousand now" then I smiled at him, I don't really remember if that smile was sweet or was it teasing

"seriously???"

Brent's eyes are wide and asking for answers...hahaha actually I was buying time so my brain can absorb and process all the chills, butterflies boxing my stomach and my heartbeat racing like fast and furious so I stopped, breathed and spoke up

"I was counting all the years I've been waiting for you to say that"

this is the moment when I almost cried out of happiness when I finally told him the truth

"hahaha I knew it!!! so??? how long have you been waiting???"

now I can see his smiles, the smiles I'm always dying to see god!!! how can he be so handsome after making me cry???

"I guess one forth of my life already, can you please not waste more of my life waiting anymore?"

it feels lighter and happier now!

"my pleasure!!! from now on let's fight on the same page and the same direction, I'm glad my fears pushed me hard this way, now I have you for the rest of my life"

"not so fast B! you didn't pay me back all the one forth's you owe me hahaha"

"can I give my heart in exchange?"

"of course you can hahaha bargain accepted"

"can I say I love you now?"

"you can"

"i love you T!"

"I know. I love you too even if you won’t ever know"

THE END