MISMATCHED PARAMOUR (Taglish)

Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Evil Rage

Bumalik na lang ako sa kitchen and started smashing every thing that I could see. Binasag ko din ang platong hawak ko na may lamang cake pati narin ang fresh milk cause I'm so pissed!

I'm not jealous with that bastard. I will never get jealous of him. Why would I be jealous? I can have the biggest feast on my own!

Kapag matapos ang dalawang linggo ko sa impyernong pamamahay na ito, I'll do everything I want with all my hearts content! Kahit hindi na ako pwedeng tumapak sa bar na iyon, marami parin namang bar sa pilipinas na pwede kong puntahan and no one's gonna stop me!

I will get whatever I want after this f*****g suspension time!

Padabog akong umakyat ng kwarto dahil wala na akong ganang kumain. Bago tuluyang makapasok sa kwarto ay narinig ko pa ang gulat na gulat na tanong ng mga maids sa ginawa ko. The f*****g hell I care!

I slammed the door behind me and locked it to make sure no one disturbed me. Kinuha ko agad ang pinakamalaki kong unan at sinimulang pinaghahampas ang kama ko at iniisip na si Vlad iyon. Hinampas ko nang hinampas ito hanggang sa masira ang unan ko. Lumabas ang napakaraming balahibo na nagsisiliparan dahil sa ginawa ko. I felt some pain in my wrist kaya napatigil ako.

Dammit.

Nagkaroon ng pamumula ang kamay ko and it's bleeding. Masyado akong nadala sa galit kanina at hindi ko na namalayan na nagkaroon na ako ng sugat dahil sa mga bagay na pinagbabato ko.

My blood stained my pillow and I don't care. I can buy a better one.

I took a deep breath to ease my terrible mood. I need to calm down. Napag isipan ko na lang na pumunta sa green observatory, to calm my mood. The plants can give me relaxation even just for a while bago sumabak ulit sa impyernong tutorial.

I need to relax and plan my next execution for that devil.

I know it's not his fault that my mother likes him because he's a freaking genius and I'm just her stupid kid. If she can't accept me as her daugther, then its her fault that she gave birth to someone like me in the first place.

And if you think I'm gonna end my life just because of that, no way. I love my life.

Pagdating sa conservatory ay halos nawala lahat ng badtrip ko. The succulents are soooo cute and pleasing to the eye. Pero galit parin ako. Haaay, I miss Ausie. Tuwing nababadtrip ako, badtrip na din sya. And everytime she does, we'll just go boy hunting and do some stuff.

Sitting at the couch inside while looking at the cute plants ay may napansin akong may lumalapit na pigura sa likuran ko.

" Get lost devil, you're not welcome here." wika ko sa kanya. I was glaring with fire at him. Mamatay ka sana sa tingin. Hindi nya pinansin ang titig ko at lumapit parin sakin.

"What are you doing here? Everyone's looking for you. Wala ka daw during lunch." he said sounding so irritated.

I rolled my eyes at him. " Why would you care?"

" I don't care witch, but your mom does." halos masuka ako sa sinabi nya.

" Nagpapatawa ka ba? Magsama na nga kayong dalawa tutal pareho nyo rin namang gusto ang isat isa. Why not magpa ampon ka na lang kaya para lahat na masaya. Di ba?" I told him with full of sarcasm.

He looked at me seriously kaya napakunot ang noo ko sa kung ano man ang iniisip nya.

" Why do you sound so jealous?"

" I'm not!"

Ako magseselos? Hah! Never in a million years!

"You are."

" I'm not!"

" You're jealous because of me." Argh! I'm gonna kill this man! Kumuha ako ng bato sa pot at ibinato ito sa kanya pero nakailag sya.

" Ulitin mo pa at sasapakin kita!" Mas tumindi pa ang sama ng titig ko sa kanya.

" Why do you make everything so complicated witch?" when he said those words, para akong sinaksak ng paulit ulit sa harap nya. He looked at me with concern. No. It's not a concern, it's pity.

He look at me with those eyes and I can't help myself but get insulted. So naaawa sya sakin dahil ginagawa kong komplikado ang lahat?

Napaisip din ako sa sinabi nya. Bakit ngaba? Do I really make things so complicated for them? For my family? For my mother?

" Then why do hate me of being me, Vlademir?" I asked him. Everytime I use his name, he knows I'm serious. He knows that I hate him dahil ako na lang palagi ang nakikita nya. I hate him because he always picks me to be tormented.

But all those years, I don't know the reason why he hated me so much. Kung dahil lang sa rason na bobo ang tingin nya sakin, I know it's not the real reason. I'm not that stupid to believe in such because that's bullshit.

" Because your ungrateful witch." he looked at me seriously. " You have everything you want and need yet you take everything for granted. "

Did I really take everything for granted? Sa lahat ng mayroon ako ngayon ay tinitake ko lang for granted? Oh, come one! Sino ba naman ang hindi magpapakasasa sa mga bagay na pwede kong hilingin dahil gusto ko, di ba? We take everything for granted, kahit maliit na bagay.

" Is that even your problem? You're angry at me because I also have what you have? Aren't you pathetic?" In his case mas marami pa syang previlege kesa sakin. He can have everything because he's smart and famous and all.

" You don't know how much your parents suffer because of what you are doing Jiane. You're too selfish even though you have everything. You're hurting your parents. "

I gritted my teeth of what he said. I'm also a victim here and he doesn't even know my side story! 

" You don't even know everything about me Vlademir, so just shut up!" He's accusing me of hurting my parents even they are the ones who are hurting me! Unbelievable!

I hold my breath at tumalikod sa kanya. I hate him! I hate him! I really hate him! I can't measure the level of how much I hate him.

Yes, I admit I'm selfish. I want everyone's attention that's why I'm being like this. I want my mother's attention even though I can't achieve what she wanted me to do. I'm making my name famous in a different way from what she wanted. And they can't accept the fact that it's the real me! That's what I wanted to be!

Alam kong sira na ang reputasyon ko kahit kanino pero masakit paring sabihin sa harap ko kung gaano ako kawalang kwentang anak. He slapped me several times with his words. He's exactly like my mom.

What if kung sya nalang naging anak ni mommy, maybe everything is in it's right place. Maybe everthing is okay.

" I hate you because you have something I don't have." wika nya kahit nakatalikod parin ako sa kanya.

I have something he don't have?

" Whatever that is I'll try to give it to you. If that's the only thing that can stop your hate from me."

Simula nang makilala ko si Vlad ay nasira ang image ko sa school. He's the role model and because he hated me, everybody hated me also. That's also the reason why I hated him so much.

And because of him, my mother expectation towards me builds up. She keeps on comparing me to him. She keeps nagging me to be like him. She keeps on telling me how lucky Vlad parents are because he's a genius and good looking and everything.

To make it short.

She's disappointed with me.

Palagi ko itong naririnig kay mommy at sanay na ako. But damn, why does it still hurt so much until now?

I felt hot liquids running down my checks and I'm trying my best to not let him see it. I don't want him seeing me as the fragile one. I'm a strong person in front of everyone.

" It's something that you have, but you can't give." he said. " Tell me Jiane, can you give me freedom?"

I didn't answer him. Instead, I started to move forward as he watches me walk away from him. I can feel he's staring at my back while I left him behind. I can't answer his question because he got it wrong.

He's asking for something only he can give to himself.

~*~

Nakatulog ako sa guest room ng ilang oras pagkatapos kong umiyak dahil magulo ang kwarto ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko hinayaan ang sarili kong umiyak na hindi ko naman madalas ginagawa. I looked at the clock and find it's already nearly 5 pm. Malamang ay wala na si Vlad sa Study Hall dahil malapit na maggabi.

The heavy feeling lifted a bit after I cried. I remembered my conversation with Vlad.

Tell me Jiane, can you give me freedom?

Habang sinasabi nya sakin ang mga salitang iyon ay nakaramdam ako ng lungkot kaya mas lalo akong napaiyak kanina. Mayroon din kaya syang pinagdadaanan? Sa pagkakaalam ko, he got a perfect life.

He can get everything he wants more than me.

But freedom is an exception? Seriously, I don't know what he means. Every one of us has freedom, right?

Bumaba ako at pumuntang kitchen para maghanap ng makakain. Hindi ako nakalunch kanina kasi nawalan ako ng gana. Pagkatapos kumain ay dumiretso na ako agad sa Study Hall.

Finding Vlad na natutulog sa kanyang desk habang nakakalat ang ibang papel sa sahig. I was wondering kung bakit hindi pa sya umuuwi. Napatitig ako sa kanya na mahimbing na natutulog. He's such an angel if he's asleep, but of course Lucifer was once an angel.

Napakaamo ng mukha nya and I'm tempted to touch it.

But I didn't.

I'm just starring at his vulnerable handsome face hoping na sana hindi na sya magising at manatiling ganyan. Pwede ko kaya kurutin to? I shook my head to erase such thought. Gosh. Hindi ko pwedeng kalimutan na kaaway ko sya. Nilibot ko na lang ang paningin ko para tignan kung ano ang pwede kong gawin.

Dinampot ko ang mga nakakalat na papel at tinignan ang mga nakasulat. He's making some questionaires. Napatingin ako sa monitor ng computer at nakita kong gumagawa sya ng kanyang research sa Algebra.

An evil grin formed in my lips.

And of course, I'm also an angel. But evil one.

~*~

Nagising si Vlad mga pasado alas-syete ng gabi. Nadatnan nya ako sa dining area na kumakain ng hapunan mag-isa habang nagbabasa ng libro na kinuha ko sa desk nya. Algebra.

Bahagya syang napatingin sakin at ganun din ako. Ngumiti ako saglit, as in saglit lang. Just in a split of second.

" Kain." anyaya ko.

Tumango lang sya dinaluhan ako sa mesa. I felt a chill in my nape when he sat at the chair beside me. That's odd, bakit ako nagkaroon ng ganoong pakiramdam kahit palagi naman kaming magkatabi sa school. Kinuha nya ang nakahain na steak na hinanda ng maid para sa kanya.

Oh di ba, mahal sya ng mga tao dito. Samantalang ako, hindi man lang piniprepare ng mga maid ang pagkain ko.

Tapos sasabihin nyang Tell me Jiane, can you give me freedom?

Hindi pa syang nagsisimulang kumain ay napatingin sya sakin at kumunot ang kanyang noo.

" What?"

Ano na naman ang problema nya sakin? Umalis sya bigla at may tinanong sa maid bago bumalik syang may bibit na first aid kit.

" May sugat ka ba?" tanong ko sa kanya pero mas lalo lang kumunot ang kanyang noo. Hinigit nya ang kamay kong may hawak na kutsara kaya nahulog ang laman nitong pagkain.

"It's not me idiot." He looked at me angrily at sinuri ang wrist ko. Oh! Nakalimutan kong may sugat pala ako, hindi ko man lang napansin. And I didn't know he's that thoughtful.

" You should treat it before it gets worse." he said and started to put alcohol in it. I cried in pain kasi mahapdi!

" Careful jerk! Masakit ha!"

" It supposed to hurt, dummy. And stop resisting bago kita ibalibag sa pader."

" Wow ha, for someone who's treating me he's also threatening me at the same time. "

" Shut your mouth before I put bandages on it." I gritted my teeth. I should stop myself from being angry. Besides he's treating me that I never expected he would.

And speaking of bandages, naalala ko ang nangyari kahapon sa gate. Paano ako nagkaroon ng bukol sa noo and somebody put bandage on me then dinala pa daw talaga ako sa clinic.

"Kumag, sino nagdala sa sakin sa clinic kahapon?" tanong ko kay Vlad. Gosh, kahapon lang pala yun pero ang dami ng nangyari.

" Kumag? Who's kumag?"

" Siguro ako? Malamang ikaw, may iba pa ba akong kausap dito?"

" And why do you call me that?"

Luh, di nya alam ibig sabihin nun?

" Because you are one. You're some i***t who can't get any girl he wants. Duh." I said to him as if it was a matter of fact. Hindi kasi sya marunong mambabae, geek kasi. Naningkit ang mata nya sa sinabi ko.

" You're the stupid one here so I should call you that."

" But that term is exclusive only for boys. So I'm out."

Suddenly, he pressed my wound so hard that I squeaked in pain. Damn, hell!! Napahawak ako ng mahigpit sa tinidor ko at itinutok ito sa kanya. I'm trying to stab him with it pero tumakbo agad sya paalis bitbit ang first aid kit. Wala na akong paki alam kung masugatan man sya basta gusto ko lang maghiganti sa kanyang ginawa!

"Bastard!"

Binalutan nya ng benda ang buong kamay ko na halos umabot na ito sa siko. Hindi ko rin ito halos maigalaw ang palad ko dahil makapal ang pagkabalot nya. Tingin nya sakin mummy na ililibing?! Eh kung sya kaya ang balutan ko ng buhay?!

Inayos ko na lang ang hapg kainan at itinago ang pagkain ni Vlad. Wala akong balak ihain sya ulit, bahala sya sa buhay nya. Pagkatapos kong mag ligpit ay dumating si mommy galing sa trabaho and she seems to be so hyper than usual. Her face is saying she's in a good mood.

" Where is Vlademir?" she asked sweetly.

Tsk. Si Vlad agad ang hinanap samantalang ako itong anak ang kaharap nya. Eh kung makipagpalit na lang kaya ako ng indigency kay Vlad?

" Hey, mom. Ako ang nandito, ako muna batiin mo." wika ko. Tinignan nya ako ng masinsinan, ibig sabihin ay sinusuri nya ako o may alam sya sa ginawa ko.

" You're up to something stupid again Jiane." she said. That's what I really hate for having a mother like her. Magpakita lang ako ng kaonting reaction ay alam na nya kung ano ang ginawa at gagawin ko palang. Kahit wala pang DNA test alam ko na agad na sya ang tunay kong ina. First, magkamukhang magkamukha kami. Second, she knows me too well, even the slightest part of me she can detect any changes.

I should be grateful right? But I just can't.

" You know me well, mom. Walang araw na wala akong ginawang masama sa paningin nyo." And I'm always honest to everything that I do. Malalaman nya rin naman kaya mas magandang sabihin ko na agad.

" Nasa Study Hall si Vlad." I told her.

Sabay kaming pumunta pero walang nagsalita sa aming dalawa. That awkward feeling na ayaw mong may masabi kang masama kaya mas pinili mo na lang manahimik.

Nadatnan naming may hinahanap si Vlad sa kanyang desk at panay pindot sya sa kanyang monitor. Bahagya syang nagulat nang makita si mommy pero sinalubong nya parin ito ng ngiti. Woah. Minsan lang ngumiti ang isang Vlademir Tendan at ang nanay ko pa ang dahilan.

" Is something bothering you Vlad? Just tell me kung mayroon na namang ginawa si Jiane." she asked sincerely. I don't mind him telling her what I did. In the end, ako parin naman ang mali kahit may ginawa man ako o wala.

I looked him expecting he would tell her na tumakas ako kanina.

" Wala po tita, she's a good girl ngayong araw." he said smiling. Napaubo ang isang bodyguards kaya tinignan ko sya ng masama. What is he doing?! Bakit hindi nya sinabi?

" Is that so? That's good then. Did the maid already inform you that you're going to stay here for two weeks? So it won't be a hassle for you when going to school during the day and tutoring Jiane during the night."

" Yes tita. I already know where my room is."

" Thank you and at the same time I apologize for freeing your schedule just to teach Jiane for today. You missed a lot of subjects."

" That's okay tita. I'm willing to accept any favors from you." he smiled again. Halos atakihin ako sa puso. Shocks, ang gwapo nya pero ang creepy dahil kay mommy nya lang pinapakita ang ngiti nya.

Kinurot pa ni mommy si Vlad sa pisngi kaya napangiwi ako. MY GOSH! " You really are so cute Vlademir, how I wish I can have a son like you." she said. I can't help myself but get cringe. Seriously?!!

What kind of relationship they have?!! Nagtatanong na ngayon sa isipan ko kung anak ba talaga ako ni mommy.

" Sige, ipagpatuloy nyo lang ang ginagawa nyo at nang makapagpahinga ka na." She left us at hinarap ko agad si Vlad na may nakakasuklam na tingin.

" What relationship do you have with my mom? Kabit ka ba nya?"

" You wish."

" You wish mo mukha mo. Makakarating ito kay dad!" banta ko sa kanya pero ngumiti lang sya. Whaaattt??? He just smiled to me too!

" Silly, it's not what you think."

" Then what it is?!" Alam kong masyado na akong oa dahil sa simpleng pagkurot lang ay binigyan ko na ng malisya. Pero it's my mother who's not sweet with everyone even to me!

Ay mali, I was the one who's not sweet. Hindi nya magawang kurutin ang pisngi ko kasi ayoko. I hate it.

" At bakit hindi mo sinabi na tumakas ako kanina? You're so stupid!"

" You're the one who's stupid. I just save your ass, ba't ka nagagalit?"

" I didn't asked for it."

" That's the point. You didn't asked but I saved you." I heave a sighed. Walang patutunguhan ang pakikipag usap ko sa kanya. Pumunta na lang ako sa kabilang table para simulan ang assignment nyang ibinigay dahil nakatulog ako kanina.

I kept answering while he kept looking for something. " What are you looking for?" tanong ko.

" My Algebra research."

" Yung mga nakakalat sa sahig kanina?"

" Yes, where did you put them?"

" Tinapon ko na, akala ko kasi mga scratch mo lang yun."

His eyes went wide and went direclty into the trash bin. Bago pa nya mahalungkat ito at pinigilan ko na sya.

" Oops. Parang ginamit yata ng maids at ginawang panggatong sa pagluto ng grilled steak kanina. Hindi mo kasi agad sinabi." I told him smirking. His face went dark, hindi na maipinta ang mukha ni Vlad dahil sa galit. He's in rage.

" You planned this." he said angrily. He didn't ask but it's a statement. 

Naglakad sya papunta sa pool dahil nandoon ang grilling area. Sinundan ko sya doon habang nakangiti ng nakakaloko. It's payback time dude.

He opened the barbeque grill and found his papers half burnt. Nanginginig sya habang hawak ang mga ito nang bigla syang napatingin sakin ng seryoso. This time kinilabutan na ako. Ito ang unang beses na nakita ko syang sobrang seryoso na halos wala akong makitang emosyon sa mukha nya. Did I push it too hard?

" You knew I've been working on this witch and you ruined everything." lumapit sya sakin pero hindi ako natinag sa titig nya.

" You can work on it again, you're a genius right?"

Itinaas nya ang kanyang kamay kaya napapikit ako. Is he going to punch me? Naghintay akong dumikit ang kamao nya sakin pero hindi ito nangyari ngunit may naramdaman akong nagbuhat sakin.

He carried me in bridal style then he throws me at the pool.

TINAPON NYA AKO!

But the worst scenario is I CAN'T SWIM!

I kept struggling to swim and gasping for air but I can't seem to do it. f**k! Bakit kasi hindi ako nag aral lumangoy?! Naghihintay akong tulungan ako ni Vlad pero hindi man lang nangyari.

" Bastard!!" sigaw ko at nakalunok pa ako ng tubig. Damn! I'm starting to run out of breath and I'm trying my feet to reach the bottom of the pool but I can't. My sight is blurry because of the water and my mind is starting to get hazy because I'm running out of air. 

I felt my chest is tearing apart. 

" Save yourself witch!" that's the last thing I heard bago ako nawalan ng malay.