Gem

Here We Go Again

I open my eyes to find the spot next to me empty. Hm I wonder where Ryder could be. He definitely would not leave without telling me. I sit up to look at my phone. Nothing.. I look on my nightstand. Nothing.. My shower isn’t running either.. Weird.. I stretch my arms and back releasing a long yawn along with it. I definitely slept better last night than I have the last few. I get out of bed heading over to my closet pulling something out to wear. I decide on my usual tube top and high waisted jeans with my sandals. It’s always hot here so I’m excited for weather change while attending school in Citrine.

Occasionally we will have a few colder days here during winter since Pearl isn’t too far. Always sending us their freezing winters air. I particularly love snow. I’ve never actually seen it but when I do I know I will love it. I just feel it. I throw my hair in a clip not trying to deal with it and head out my door. I walk over to our living area and neither one of my parents are here either. That’s normal considering they are Beta’s. I am super confused why Ryder wouldn’t say anything at all. I wonder if I must’ve said something in my sleep? Oh goddess.. I take the elevator down to the main floor and head into our pack dining area. I see just about everyone sitting at the table..

More importantly I see Ryder sitting eating breakfast in his usual spot and none other than that filthy bi.tch Elena sitting next to him touching his arm as he eats.. Immediately I felt anger rising in me.. I tilt my head trying to grasp what is happening before my eyes. I stand tall marching right up to the table. Blakes eyes have been on me since I walked in and now he’s giving me a sad look.. He can sense how I am feeling. Karson looks my way and he’s not happy either..

“My what a good morning this must be here, huh fellas?” I say loudly gaining Ryder’s attention just for him to shoot me his pissed off look. Elena just smiles continuing to rub his arm. Karson was about to speak but I completely lost it. I could feel Angels anger strengthening.. “Ryder what the f***k is this?! Some kind of sick joke?!” I shout at him with my arms folded across my chest. “You tell me!” He shouts as he stood slamming both his hands down onto the table staring me dead in the face. “You said you did nothing with that fu.cking Alpha yet I hear from Elena that you did!” He continues to shout not caring that everyone here is listening now. All I can see is the pure hurt in his eyes. My stomach feels ill..

“You are right. We did. It was nothing but a peck and I didn’t tell you because it didn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean anything! I chose you over and over!” I shout looking him in the eyes and he said nothing but sat back down with Elena.. I slammed my fists down on to the table hard making a cra.cking sound. Elena jumps back and his face is in pure shock as well as the rest of the room. No one wanting to break us up or tell us to quite it.. I am inches away from his face. Our eyes locked.

“He is a friend Ryder nothing more. You and I were not together during that time. Now that we are you left me alone in bed to sit here letting that sl.ut touch all over you and in my presence non the less is beyond that peck with Ares.. In fact she can have you because I am done. You know how I feel about you so the fact you needed to put on a show to do whatever it was.. You’ve accomplished it. I wish you nothing but the best.” I say filled with rage. I look at Blake and he seems concerned. I shook my head. I stand straight up shouting “Everyone can go back to their morning!” Walking away not even bothering to look back. I need to pack. Now. I race up to my room searching through my closet.

Yes! My suitcase. It’s a not as big as I hoped but I will be back in a few days.. I mean I will have to face Ryder again.. Most likely on his birthday.. I hate to think of where we stand now because I really did want to give us a chance. Why did he have to be him and why did he have to have her there.. Her touching him made me so jealous and angry. I could have ripped her head off right there and I doubt anyone would care.. ‘Thank you Angel for not making an appearance. Soon I hope.’

All of a sudden I hear my door open and for a moment my heart sinks thinking it could be Ryder, I walk out of my closet seeing Stass close my bedroom door. “Why weren’t you at breakfast?!” I shout at her with my arms folded. She gives me a sheepish look.. “Blake told me.. I’m so sorry Haze! I was on the phone with Axel. He will be here later today to get me so I’ve been packing. We are going to Redwood.” She says running over to me and giving me a huge hug. I smile and hug her back. “It’s okay. I am honestly hurt but shocked the most.. Like what the.. Him and I had finally got to a happy place. Our fresh start and now look at us.. Rejection.. All in a matter of eight hours..” I say sadly.

“Don’t think on it anymore today.. Is that your suitcase?” She asked me curiously.

“Really Stass? How could I not think of it.. Yeah it is. I wanted to go to Redwood early too and now that happened I might as well go tomorrow.” I say and she jumps up and down excitedly. “Come with us! Ares is going tomorrow. He’s doing something Alpha related today but come! We can get settled in and be back by the end of the week for Karson’s birthday.. And Ryder’s..” She says rubbing my arm and I roll my eyes. “Fine but don’t drag me into anything because he is the whole reason Ryder and I aren’t together right now.. I will let my parents know.” I tell her. “Yay! I will be outside by noon. It’s a ways away so the earliest we leave the better! Plus Ryder is old news now!” She shouts cheerfully leaving my room. I lay on my bed for a minute hating what Stass said.. Ryder isn’t old news. We just have another bump in our road..

‘Angel is this the end of being with our mate?’ I asked her. Minutes went by and still not a sound from her so I grunt and get up filling my suitcase a bit more adding my essentials in a different bag. Alright I think I am satisfied for now looking around once more for anything I could possibly add. I pile it all on my couch and head out my room to let my parents know. Surprisingly they are not back up here. ‘Mom are you and dad downstairs?’ I mind-linked my mom. She instantly replies that they were heading back up from breakfast. I just hung out in my dads bulky recliner and waited for them. I hear them walk off the elevator towards our living area. “Hi honey. How is your morning going?” Mom ask smiling at me as they come into view. I slump over the arm of the chair. “Honestly it has been awful.” I say sitting back up. They just look at me. “What happened my love?” Dad asks walking over to me. “Too much to recite. But I do need to talk to you guys. Stass is leaving for the Academy within the next few hours. I am going with her.” I say trying not to think of Ryder. “Did something happen again?” Dad asked me and I nod my head. “I will set that boy straight! Don’t you worry Hazel.” He says as his eyes are shifting back and forth meaning his wolf is at bay and he is fighting for control. Mother rubs his arm for comfort instantly calming him down.

“No it’s.. It’s my fault daddy. I kissed someone and he found out in the worst possible way. I don’t blame him for being hurt although the person I kissed is nothing but a friend.” I tell them looking down. “Well honey I understand but normally you don’t kiss friends so maybe you need to give yourself the next few days to over think everything. Go to school settle in. Ryder will gain his wolf the night of his birthday and then you two will decide what is best for you both. I knew for me it was always your father the moment I saw him in class being a goofball but he was with someone else and that situation was rough. We became stronger than ever after that. Be true to yourself. Moon goddess always will guide you.” She says smiling as dad holds her. I sigh standing up to give them hugs. They snuggle me in between the middle of them.

“Faith has a funny way of showing it sometimes but you are so strong. We love you no matter what.” Dad says giving me a kiss on the top of my head. I smile as they release me from our group hug. “Thank you. You guys are the best parents any one could ever have. Truly I am so grateful. I have something to do before I leave so I will come find you guys before I go.” I say walking away blowing a kiss. “We will be here honey!” Shouts mom as she sits on the couch getting comfortable. I glanced back to dad smiling at me one last time before getting into the elevator. It’s a long shot but maybe Ryder will be at his spot..

I get down to the main floor practically ignoring all the lingering eyes as I keep my head held high walking out of the pack house on a mission to Tammy’s. If there’s one thing about anyone they love a good rumor mill. They are lucky I am not being my usual bold self. Normally I won’t take sh.it but lately everything has been upside down for me. I went from being so strong to feeling so weak. I don’t know how I will get back to that part of me.. Walking a bit further I pass Tammy’s and continue on behind it heading straight into the woods behind it. Coming into view of the lake I can see he’s not here.. I mean I knew it would be a long shot considering he was with that sl.utty she-wolf Elena earlier so I’m sure he is busy.. Ugh thinking about that makes me sick to my stomach.

Honestly what is the matter with me.. I’m a poor excuse for a Betas daughter. I was strong and confident. Didn’t take anyones sh.it and now I can’t even recognize myself. I am constantly confused and sad since finding out things that I didn’t even know could be possibly true with my parents then Angel finally starts talking to me here and there like you would think everything would be smooth sailing in my life.. But nope I just had to know my mate.. Literally all my life and now as we are getting closer to his birthday Angel pushes me to respond to him in a matter of hours of being alone and don’t even get me started on Ares.. I have no idea what that is about but he is someone I am connected to in a way also. Just makes me wonder what the Moon Goddess could have planned for me.. I have so many questions and little to nothing for answers..

It is super confusing because I’ve always loved learning the laws and history of my kind so I knew I wanted to be more than just a mate. I care for the mate bonds just as any other wolf but I have always felt strong in every aspect of my life. I have just contained it. I didn’t want to be favored. My friends are the only opinions I truly care about aside my parents, Luna and Alpha of course.. It is just tough and unraveling rather quickly so I really just need a few minutes of sanity. To clear my head of everything that has happened this past week. To think about my fresh start at Redwood. I decided I’m going for a little swim. I took my sandals off and walk down towards the water. Going from dirt to sand is oddly soothing. Standing with just my toes in water now I instantly feel better. I strip down to only my undies and place my clothes to the side then walk into the water. I float around for a bit enjoying the peace and quiet of the lake.