Journey of a Dancer

Life isn't easy

Honestly sometimes i just feel so stuck and i don't know what to do anymore as i thought this medication and whole thing would help my father to get better as he was before marriage like guys my dad did all the romantic things for my mother similar to that of 90s cinema picking and dropping my mother at the home, taking her out for shopping in the car , bought her gifts so it made me wonder if that's a love or arrange marriage i believe love would make a lot of sense since a man with no job spending dad's income,why would anyone let her daughter marry someone like him so yeah began with arrange but love happened for friction of seconds as those Seconds stopped and bring this beast type of man in the family. As day goes by dad mental health condition worsen up like he started to lock himself and continue talking, hallucination that he was with someone this look totally unsual thus my seeing all this my grandfather decided that it would be better for dad to just consume sedative only my mother oppose saying sedative would only causes him sleep and would make him unhealthy but grandfather says it would also stop him from talking alone shouting and hallucination as now the only thing my father would do is to sleep all day yeah nothing but sleep in the night wakes up in the morning only to intake sedative to sleep again wow just wow . It should be the time for him to get up on his own feet and start looking for some job or just open his own business as now my grandfather is aging day by day and should stop relying on grandfather's pention so that in case situation arrives suddenly when grandfather dies or any financial crises arises we wouldn't be starving or lying on the footpath,instead of worrying for the future all my father is gonna do is to sleep all day and night along why just because my grandfather instead of just appointing a psychiatrist he thought sedative would be a better idea. The decision becomes so hard when it's comes whom to blame for all this mesries my father that he has become like this or my grandfather that he is making my father more irresponsible than he is already or god for making me born into this family where I'm Just learning for difficult matter when my life would change for better for real or longer period of time than usual. Everyone in my school when the teacher asked about their father or what occupation their fathers are into they replied not only that praise them also but in my case i could only lie saying yeah he is a business man then they go for life what type of business and i have to act like a kid who doesn't know about her father's job whereabouts well i just pretend not to know because i doesn't want anyone to know about my father's or my mine condition. My mother always taught me to lie that why father is a business man and earn good amount of money as she doesn't want anyone else to make fun or laugh on us or me or my family. The time has changed from when not doing anything but using father's money wasn't critics but now people aren't looking for someone who only know how to eat not to burn the food down but for someone who could do both eating and burning it down,thus lying is the only thing that could saves us. I like any other girls of my class wanted to feel the happiness of loving her dad more or her dad loving treating her like his priority , making with her sweet memories and being little possessive over her and i couldn't felt any of the above emotions . As days goes by sedative side effects are clearly visible as everywhere my father's goes the only thing in his mind was to get a place to sleep he went with me for eye check and that hospital also he was just sleeping,his eyes are red due to sedative which make people wonder whether he had some kind of intoxication or what though sedative are not more less than those intoxication material but sedative are slower intoxication, as my father has sleep on his mind and sleep only he has become healthy and not fit stop caring for his body and only sleep. One day on the day of my parent's teacher meeting where everyone has to came with their parents either mom or dad or both as well ,most of them came with their dad so did i ,my father because of the sedative doses sleeply and his fitness isn't as good as it should be so my classmate called my father as grandpa like she thought it was my grandfather because of everything and at very that moment i realised appearance matter not looking for women or girl but also for young boy and men otherwise you would get embarassed anywhere , I didn't know whether to correct her and tell her it is my father only or to just let it go like to this as somewhere i was embarassed myself to introduce my father I was silly but still i decided to correct her and told her he's my father she quickly apologize for her words and said she was just confused because of the looks but I said it was okay and my parents teacher meeting ended i just quitely went to home then just lie down trying to get used to all this misunderstanding that from now onward would be common as of my father to be called as my grandfather because of his looks. That time being a kid i influence with the idea of looks beautifully and all that thus was embarassed to take my father anywhere with me I didn't even like to be seen around with my own father just because of the way he looks. That' so sad reality that still there in society