The Black Ocean

"Blake," His voice trembled, the depth of his blue eyes glistening like sapphires brimming with unshed tears. "Choose me and no one else." His words reverberated, fading into a faint murmur as I found myself submerged in the icy embrace of the ocean. Strands of my hair swirled in the currents, obscuring my vision. My body drifted downward, pulled by the relentless pull of the ocean's dark depths. In a struggle, I reached out to brush the hair away from my eyes, attempting to glimpse him through the murky water. I felt weightless, adrift in the ocean's chilling embrace. His hand reached out toward me. I stretched my arm to grasp his hand, seizing it with the last ounce of strength I could muster. But he didn't pull me up. The surface shimmered with fleeting glimpses of light, a threshold where I could breathe again. His touch slipped from my grip. "Let nobody else touch your heart," he pleaded, but his hand drifted away from mine, vanishing into the void of the cold, black ocean. Once again, he'd let me down. "Dorian, why can't you love me?" I cried out, straining to bridge the gap between us. It was as though he existed beyond the water, breathing effortlessly. I was the only one drowning. "I do love you, but..." "But what?" "I love someone else more," he confessed, his serene blue eyes closing with a hint of sorrow. As I hastened toward the main building for class, the haunting dream that plagued my waking moments played on an endless loop in my mind. Underneath the heavy clouds, I wandered. A raindrop touched my hand, warning of a coming downpour if I stayed in the garden any longer. Being in my final semester at university, I couldn't bear the idea of extending it further. Summoning the last reserves of energy from my body and soul, I had to attend my classes. After graduating, my default plan was to dive into my father's company, Valders, a major player in the gaming industry co-founded by my dad and Dorian's father way back. I ended up studying economics, not because I loved it, but to pitch in and assist my dad with the business side of things. Managing wasn't really on my radar; I just aimed to contribute where I could. To be honest, I was adrift in terms of life direction. Most days, I faced the harsh truth that I was completely lost, all the while putting on a show that everything was hunky-dory. I was tired of pretending, hiding behind fake smiles. It drained me, playing this ongoing game. "Come inside, Blake," someone called, snapping me out of my thoughts. Elisa blocked my way, and I offered her a smile, the kind that doesn't show what's really going on inside. At that moment, I felt like one of those raindrops, falling fast and breaking apart. I was fading away, vanishing into thin air. I knew nobody would even notice; I'd just disappear, like a drop evaporating into the sky. It was an unrequited love that gripped me fiercely. It held me so tight, so deeply rooted that escaping its clutches seemed impossible. The love I held for Dorian, one that he didn't share, felt like drifting in a frigid, endless ocean, pulled toward the depths without a fight. Seeing him with someone else, knowing he did not love me, had drained me completely. He unwittingly snatched away every spark of hope I had left. I did not blame him, only myself. It was not his fault that he loved someone else. He wouldn't understand the ache of never being truly loved. I confess, I was curious, so curious that I chose life over death out of that curiosity. I didn't want to leave this world without experiencing love. I wanted to understand it. Even now, I wonder. How would it really feel to be cherished in a world so filled with loneliness? Could love last through all the challenges life throws our way? Would it ask for sacrifices? And most importantly, would it be mutual? "I'm coming, Elisa." I said, gripping my bag tighter and picking up my pace. After taking a deep breath, I found myself stuck in another everyday conversation. "I think they broke up." Elisa stared at me. "Are you even paying attention?" "I got sidetracked," I admitted. Elisa spoke as we settled at our regular spot, "I spotted someone new in the garden. He seemed quite nice." "Is that so?" I responded absently, not truly expecting a reply. Grabbing my pale bag, I rummaged through it in search of my phone. Elisa continued chatting. "Yeah, a post-grad student, already working. Bit older than us." she shared between sips of her coffee, eyes darting around, scouting the surroundings like a radar. Her habit usually brought a chuckle, since everyone caught her scanning gaze, even if she believed otherwise. But today, I felt more detached than usual. Maybe the weather played a part. Perhaps this was just who I'd become. Lately, my mind has been fixated on the songs I have listened to; that's all I wanted to hear. I had no interest in listening to anyone else. Not a single word appealed to me. I angrily tossed my phone into the bag, realizing I'd forgotten my headphones. That day felt different, and worse, than the others. Gray clouds loomed, autumn leaves danced, and amidst it all, a man in a black leather jacket stood out of place. Strands of his chestnut hair fell over his forehead, the wind twisting them into a chaotic mess. His lips formed a tight line, indicating his displeasure. The odd look in his eyes struck a familiar chord. His thoughts seemed miles away. He swept his right hand through his hair, smoothing the tousled strands. Soon, he'd arrive at the terrace, visible through the expansive windows. The mysterious man in black boots strode confidently toward the terrace, relishing the attention fixated on him. There was something inexplicable; the constant song in my head momentarily fell silent. He pushed open the glass door, slipping inside, unaware of my presence far from the entrance. Avoiding eye contact, I glanced down at my hands, hoping he hadn't noticed me amidst Elisa's ongoing chatter, which I was completely zoning out of. The memory of her last words lingered, urging our departure. Slow to leave the table, I heard nothing but the echo of my footsteps in the hallway. Settling into the back row of the class by the window, not to peer outside but to remind myself to breathe. Around me, people chatted, laughed and the world carried on. Yet, my world faltered each time Dorian came into view. Words had deserted me, while others seemed to have endless stories to share. I reached into my bag for my notebook and pen, and my fingers brushed a plastic box. I'd found my headphones. Perhaps today wasn't as bleak as I'd imagined. I selected a song from my playlist, pretending it was random, just to believe in that chance. Scribbling on an open page, ten minutes later, a smile appeared on the paper. A cruel smile... I tore it away swiftly, almost fearing someone might glimpse it. Starting anew, I drew again, but the eyes in the sketch seemed disapproving, even in pencil form. Dorian's disapproving eyes mirrored the scene where I struggled to voice my truth, unable to summon the strength or courage. I buried my headphones in my bag, yet my focus eluded me during the lesson. His presence permeated all my sketches till the class's end. Gathering them together, I swiftly gathered my belongings and bolted out of the classroom. Standing in the hallway, I glimpsed his auburn hair, the sun turning it to honey, his dark blue eyes akin to a tempestuous ocean. A look I couldn't shake, even behind closed lids. "I haven't seen you around," Dorian remarked, a mere step away, narrowing the gap between us. "Uh, yeah. Bit tied up," I mumbled, gaze fixed on the floor, my voice quivering. I felt fragile, as if a mere touch would shatter me like a delicate glass vase. This callous man was bound to break a porcelain heart. "Care for coffee after your classes? " He suggested, hands slipping into his jacket pockets. I should've said "No." I should've voiced my indifference, pounded my fists against his chest, screamed for accountability, and hated him. "Sure," I managed, mustering a smile that felt hollow. He nodded, stepping away, just as he always did, leaving me behind. Every time I watched him walk away, in my mind I grasped his hand, pleading for him to stay, silently urging him to realize my unwavering presence. I longed to confess the truth I believed was evident for years, the truth that no one could ever love him the way I did. How could he not see what was so obvious? It's tough to believe he wasn't aware of my feelings, especially given how long we've known each other. Deep down, I almost wished he hadn't realized how I felt. Because if he had, it would mean he never really wanted me. It would mean he loved someone else so much more that he couldn't let go, even after finding out about my feelings. It would mean my love didn't matter to him at all. The hallway door swung open, the notebook in my hand flipping open, scattering all of my sketches of Dorian onto the floor. The flying sheets formed a pool at my feet, dragging me down. He had reached the center of the hallway, eyeing the scattered sheets with an odd expression. If he spotted his face on those pages, I wouldn't know what to say. He probably couldn't have seen it from halfway down the corridor. Most of the pages were scattered near me, but one happened to flutter closer to him. The mysterious man with dark brown hair I spotted before stepping into the classroom was approaching me. He reached for the stray page near Dorian but halted, eyeing another paper on the ground and Dorian. Meanwhile, the stranger gathered the scattered pages, while Dorian observed us in silent stillness. Unexpectedly, the stranger made a move. "Dorian!" "Aren't you going to introduce us?" he interjected, gesturing toward me. Sporting an arrogant grin, the mysterious man, one hand casually tucked in his pocket, fixed a menacing stare on Dorian. Dorian forced a smile, one I recognized as fake, and began striding in my direction. "Our company's new shareholder, Alex," Dorian announced, turning toward me with an artificial smile. "Blake, my childhood friend. Also, the other heir and shareholder,", Alex’s hazel eyes held a glimmer that sent shivers down my spine. The mysterious man's gaze felt like it was delving into the depths of my soul.