Takip Silip

viii. Pumapangwalo

She thought being shifted sa graveyard would save her life. Kahit wala ang party life. Wala masiyadong customers at tanging mga estudanye lang na keeping their school works to be done. No stress. Chill lang dapat. Pero talagang sumasalunggat sa kanya ang mundo.

Now, Kuya Ulysses is inside the coffee shop. Hindi niya alam kung bakit.

She run away from him sa school. She was saved nang dumating ang nagkacutting classes niyang kaklase. He couldn't do anything about it. Alam niyang ayaw ng eskandalo ng kapatid. They don't want them to know how shitty they are.

Akala niya kapag madaling araw na ay aalis na ito pero halos magaalas singko na. Nandoon pa rin siya nagpophone. Kuya Ulysses is not the person who likes coffee, or hindi niya lang alam. Wala naman siyang alam sa pamilya niya. They closed their doors to each other. And yet here he is. Messing with Aurora's life. She doesn't want to face her fears, she's still haunted by them.

He obviously know na doon nagtratrabaho ang kapatid. Maybe some schoolmate told him. Or someone. Aurora cursed na sana madapa ito sa kalsada.

Namumuo ang galit sa dibdib niya. Ang pagpawis ng mga kamay niya. She don't understand why. She was living peacefully. Far away from them. After they abandoned her ngayon nandito siya.

For what? To ask money from her? Wala nanaman silang pera?

Bullshit.

Iniwan siya sa kalsada. Wala siyang mapupuntahan nung mga oras na 'yun. She's here, working instead of nasa kwarto niya like a normal teenager would do. She finally got it na it's better for her to stay away from them to live. They will be the death of her.

Ano pa bang gusto nila?

Kung minamalas, Elli entered the shop. Sit on her usual spot. She looked around the place searching for someones eyes. Disappointed to see that Aurora's cute waitress uniform was nowhere to see. Kuya Jay, his co-worker, was confused to see her na nagtatago sa pantry. Aurora answered him with her frightened face.

She looks absolutely messed up right now.

"Oh. Ayos ka lang?" She shrug her head, honestly. She's not alright! She doesn't know what to do. She needs to work but couldn't go outside. One of the people who drag her to this hell is outside silently ruining her. Again and again.

Everyday she's trying to escape from them.

They don't know how hard it is to find a job na wala pang diploma. She's seventeen years old, a minor! How could she live a life without her art materials? The money. The hassle to go to school. All the hidings and confusion. She's mad. Every night she would ask herself questions that scared to be answered. How could they call themselves a family?

Oh, yeah.

They never did.

Kuya Jay somehow understood her reactions, "Sige na. Mag-rest ka muna ngayon. Bata bata mo pa. Stress na stress ka na." He was five years old than Aurora pero nakakalalubilo niya. Maybe he thought he was stressed about school or something. Never niya nakwento kahit kanino tungkol sa pamilya niya. She nooded at him, she couldn't talk kaya ayun lang ang nagawa niya. She badly needs it. Pero hindi niya alam paano siya makakalabas. So, she still stayed.

Lumabas si Kuya Jay sa pantry and do his work. She's all alone.

She feel trapped. Suffocated. Walang matatakbuhan kahit saan siya pumunta. She can feel again the knives pointing at her, and one wrong move. She'll be bloody dead.

"Name, Ma'am?"

"Elli." She heard. It was Elli ordering a coffee. She felt guilty. Hindi niya pa pala namemessage ito. Hindi pa niya nachecheck ang phone niya ever since morning. Di ito mapakali at taranta buong araw. She can't even focus on the class and decided to stay sa clinic.

She doesn't know why Elli is here early in the morning but she knows she's here for her frappe.

"Yo." She looked up. Kita niya ang nagtatakang mata ni Elli sa kanya, "Anong ginagawa mo?" Umiwas siya ng tingin. Sobrang gulo ng buhok niya. Hindi maayos ang damit niya. Nakaupo pa ito sa sulok. A scaredy cat. Anong ginagawa niya rito sa loob? Naabutan pa siya na ganito ang itsura.

"Ikaw, anong ginagawa mo rito?" almost a whispered. Halos manginig pa ito sa pagkasalita.

"You look like a trash." She is. But she doesn't have to say it. Alam niya. "Anong problema mo?"

Ang nagtataas na boses ni Elli irritate her ears. She's all sensitive right now. She's not capable of talking to someone. Kaya nga hindi siya nagsasalita kasi dahil baka may masabing masama pero ito. It's obviously she couldn't talk to someone pero tanong pa ng tanong. And her tone!

Napasama ang tingin ni Aurora sa kanya kaya tumaas ang kilay ni Elli. Wow.

"Hindi mo sinagot mga tawag ko. Tapos ngayon nandyan ka sa sulok? Tinataguan mo ba ako?" Napangiwi si Aurora sa sinabi niya, "Ang aga ko pumunta rito para makita ka." she said like it's my responsibility to see her, and be thankful. Lord! Bakit ba ito pinapasok rito. Akala ba niya for staff members lang?

Uh, please. No.

Not now.

Not right now.

She doesn't want to talk. Pero lalong sumimangot si Elli sa pagiwas ni Aurora. She thinks she's avoiding her. She's not. It's just! May demonyo sa labas. Hinahabol siya.

Tumayo si Aurora. She couldn't handle it anymore. She knows Elli will talk and talk. Hindi 'yan napapagod magsalita. She wants to go home. Elli backed up for a bit. She gets her bag at lumabas ng pantry. She left Elli confused and Kuya Jay. Kuya Ulysses looked at him at itinago ang phone sa bulsa. She doesn't care anymore. Agaran siyang lumabas, almost running.

Para siyang kriminal.

Nahabol siya ng kapatid. Hinila ulit sa braso na may pasa mula pa kanina. Patapon siya inihagis sa likod sa isang kotse para patigilin sa pagtakbo. Hindi niya mapigilan mapahiyaw sa sakit sa pagkakatama nito sa likod niya. Humarang siya sa harap ni Aurora para hindi ito makatakas.

Really? This?

Like a big bully he is.

"Bakit ka ba tumatakbo?" bakit hindi, ang gusto niya isagot. Kahit sino tatakbo mula sa kanila. Napaupo siya sa sahig hawak ang braso niyang namimilipit. Para siyang sinuntok sa sakit. Halos nanggagalaiti ang mata niyang tumingin sa kapatid. Nakasimangot pa ito sa kanya. Punong puno ng paghuhusga. Nandidiri. Natawa siya.

Nagtataka nanaman kung bakit siya ganyan, bakit gano'n ang reaksyon niya. Naninisi. He's clueless. Sa mga bagay na sila mismo gumagawa. Lalong lumalim ang galit ni Aurora sa kapatid niya. Sa pamilya niya.

They always ask her bakit siya ganito. She want to tell them. It's all their fault. They blamed everyone kung bakit siya ganyan. They even cut her ties with her friends. Force. At magtatanong kung bakit ako nagagalit. Sinong hindi?

"Bakit ka lumayas?" Tanong ng Kuya niya na nagpanganga sa kanya.

"Ha?" Tama ba ang narinig ko? Ako? Lumayas? Natawa nanaman siya. She knew it. "Hindi ako lumayas...." It was hopeless to explain. She did it a lot of times. Alam na niya na. Kung ano ano nanaman pinagsasabi ng nanay niya sa kanila. To save her own name.

"Lumayas ka raw. Sumama sa ibang lalaki. Nakita kita doon sa condo nung Mia na 'yun. Sumakay sa kotse nung lalaki," hindi makapaniwala si Aurora, "Umamin ka nga, binebenta mo ba sarili mo?" Only if she could, she would have a lot of money. But she has dignity. And f**k her mother.

"Anong pinagsasabi mo?" Halos natatawa. Naiiyak. Hindi niya na alam.

"Nakita ko. Sabi rin ni Mama. Hindi naman nagsisinungaling 'yun."

She just did! She just f*****g did!

Lahat ng oras ng buhay niya walang ginagawa kundi magsinungaling ang nanay niya.

Sobrang frustrated niya. Pagod pa siya. She couldn't help but cry out.

How could they?

"Anong kailangan mo? Nananahimik na ako." She could hear her shaking voice, terrified. Disappointed. All the agony. She wants to stab herself to make her stop crying but she could. It just get worse and worse every drop. She pulled her wallet out of her bag. Itinapon ito sa muka ng kapatid niya. "Ayan na! Pabayaan mo na ako."

Halos manginig siya sa galit nung kinuha ni Ulysses ang wallet niya sa lapag. A beggar he is. Inihagis pa nito ang wallet niyang puro id at card na lang ang laman. And left her alone.

Sinubukan niyang hindi ilabas ang mga sigaw niya. Gustong gusto niya yakapin ang sarili niya. Pataas na rin ang araw, it was another day for everybody but a hell for her.

And Elli was there. Standing far away from her.

She witnessed everything, her suffering. Her naked truth.